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The person who is either unwilling or incapable of giving us unconditional love and approval, does not need our forgiveness, and most likely does not want our forgiveness. That we may need to forgive that person is necessary for ourselves. Forgiveness allows us to complete an experience, and to release the burden of that experience from ourselves. It is very difficult for us to move on when we are carrying a burden, and far easier for us to move on when we are unburdened.
If we are carrying a burden which tells us that we are unworthy of being loved, we live our life at a disadvantage. Whenever we enter a relationship, regardless of the nature of that relationship we start form a position of feeling unworthy of that love. We compensate for our feeling of being unworthy to be loved either by attempting to prove that we are worthy of love, or by attempting to force the other person in the relationship to prove that they love us, not once, but over and over again. Often our actions will sabotage our relationships and in so doing, we will 'prove' to ourselves over and over again that we are unworthy of love. We become a self fulfilling negative prophecy, because we 'knew' that we were not worthy of such love. However, when we feel that we have a right to expect unconditional love and approval from somebody, regardless of the nature of the relationship, what we are in reality seeking is unconditional love and approval from the only person who we truly have a right to expect unconditional love and approval from, which is ourselves. |
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We Are Worthy. |
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If we give ourselves unconditional love and approval, we will not need to seek that love form anybody else. We are the only ones who can truly give ourselves unconditional love and approval, and we must allow ourselves to accept that we are indeed worthy of our own unconditional love and approval. We must believe in ourselves. We must remember that we already have unconditional love and approval from God, regardless of whether we choose to accept the unconditional love and approval from God. |
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Giving Unconditional Love. |
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Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that we must sacrifice ourselves for them, nor does loving someone unconditionally mean that we must have that person in our life. Unconditional love does not require one to love another, and want nothing in return. There is no sin in wanting to be loved in return. Wanting to share love, wanting to give and receive love is as natural as breathing. To suggest that we should love and want nothing in return is unrealistic. Love for the individual needs balance. We will not always receive love in return, which does not change our love, if our love is real. We can feel love, and not give our to another, but not giving our to another, does not change the love which we feel.
Whether love is returned is irrelevant. If we are forever giving our love and receiving nothing in return, we are not being true to who we are. We should not give our love, without sharing our love. Sharing is two ways. Nor should we allow our love to manifest itself as hate, if our love is not returned. Hate is not love. Hate is not a form of love. Hate is the consequence of using love in an unsuccessful attempt to fuel our insecurities. Carrying hate is the price which we pay, for attempting to use love to fuel our insecurities. The true test of our love for an individual, is whether we can feel love, without desperately giving the love away, or allowing the love to become hatred if the love is not shared. Unconditional love is love, no more and no less. Love should not be given away, love should be shared. The purpose of love is to share. Love, by its very nature needs to be shared. Love should not be given away with nothing in return because to do so would create a vacuum which needs to be filled, and is often filled by negative emotions. We can feel love for another without giving our love away if they are unwilling or unable to share our love. If we feel love for an individual, we should share our love. If our love cannot be shared, we should not give our love away. If our love is genuine, our love will not alter. Our love will remain even if our love cannot be shared.
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| Copyright
permission is seldom withheld. |
