By Story Waters
‘I create my own reality’ has been at the foundation of my beliefs ever since reading the Seth books by Jane Roberts many years ago. Armed with this mantra I have journeyed from feelings of alienation, limitation, and lack of abundance to a reality that is, at last, becoming a living expression of joy and limitlessness. To come to that joy I have had to step fully into my own power and this has meant coming to take absolute responsibility and ownership for every aspect of my being. I used to think that this was something I was already doing. This article is my realization of a new level of stepping into my power. It is the realization of my power to choose joy. I share it with you here, from my heart to yours.
As I begin to step into the manifestation of my dream, to live as a spiritual writer, I realize that the joy I have sought for so long has truly come from within me. When I look back I see that I was waiting for joy to somehow break through to me from outside of myself. I was carrying a belief that I would only come to happiness when certain external conditions were fulfilled, namely having financial security and independence through the mainstream publication of my book. I felt that this was having a strong sense of conviction and faith in my writing, in a way that would aid the manifestation of my dream. I now see that I was giving away my power to be happy.
Without realizing it, I had decided that I would not be happy until the book was successful. Working from the idea that ‘we create our reality with our beliefs’ this clearly meant that there was no way I was going to be happy in the present moment. I was living in a rejection of my Now, my present state of being, and in an attachment to a future that I was trying to predefine.
The sudden realization was that ‘the future’ never arrives. It is a symbol of our separation from our Now. The future is that which is always beyond our Now. This isn’t some play on words. To understand it you have to let go of the idea of objective linear time and view ‘the future’ as a symbol of what is currently beyond our present state of being.
My focus on creating a future that would apparently make me happy was in total disregard for my Self, my being, in the present. I was abandoning my present reality Self to the idea of a future Self. I knew I would be happy later; but later kept on not arriving.
The belief that my joy was for the future and not for the Now was an acute symbol of my separation from my power to choose joy. Just a few months before in The Messiah Seed I had written ‘Joy is not for the future; joy is for now.’ It just took me a while to fully realize what those words meant and see how I was the creator of the proverbial dangling carrot that I had grown so tired of grasping for.
Part 2 of this article was seeded by these realizations written down as I was realizing them, and as I have refined my realizations so I have refined the text. This has been true of all my writing, especially The Messiah Seed. It is not that I have discovered certain truths in myself and have then wrote them down, it is that through my writing (the manifestation of my evolving connection with my Wider Self) I have recorded my personal moments of realization as they were happening. I then take these personal transcripts, and in co-creation with my Wider Self, I transform the writing into a message that speaks in a universal voice. This has now developed to a point where I now tend to write my own personal epiphanies directly in this voice.
The next section of this article is written from the voice of my wider Self, the voice through which I received/created The Messiah Seed. Whether or not this is seen as being ‘channelled’ depends on your own definition of that term. My voice in this state refers to itself in the plural, so I sometimes call it the ‘We of Me’, an expression of group consciousness. It is, I believe, my state of being outside of this reality in limitlessness.
Years ago, when I first started tapping into it, it felt external. I was not ready to own it as being ‘of me’. Since then the gap between the ‘I of Me’ and the ‘We of Me’ has faded. This has grown out of both my personal evolution and the evolution of my ability to be, in this reality, the ‘We of Me’. I have little idea of how that all sounds to others. I simply ask that you read the text and discern for your Self whether it is as personally meaningful for you as it has been for me.
I passionately believe that we all contain such a voice; a manifestation of our connection to limitlessness. In the beginning the seed of this inner voice felt as no more than my growing sense of intuition. It is only through my putting energy into developing this inner sense that it has become so clear to me. I do not hear it audibly. I do not transcribe it like dictation. It is my inner voice from a place in my being that is seemingly outside of this reality. For me it feels like bringing a taste of Heaven to Earth, a grounding of our collective Godhood. Just as our eyes tell us of colour and our touch tells us of texture, so our inner voice tells us of ‘knowings’. Another word for this is Gnosis; intuitive knowledge of spiritual truths. So now I hand you over to my adaptation of the ‘We of Me’ talking to the ‘I of Me’ about the power to choose joy.
To come to your power to choose joy is to realize that you are the determinant of your being. Taking ownership of your state of being is coming to stand in your own power. This is, of course, referring to inner power; external power being an illusion. To come to stand in your power is to take back, into your Self, any power that you have externalized. Your innate power is not a reward to be earned; to experience it you simply need to stop giving it away through limited beliefs about who and what you are.
When you do not stand in your power, that part which you are denying is projected outwards and is then perceived as being external. This is what creates the illusion that there are forces outside of your Self which have the power to control your choices (your choices being the mechanism through which you shape your reality).
To see your Self as not being accountable for your state of being is to live within a belief in external forces that have control over you. This can be manifest in such forms as a controlling person, governmental laws, or a lack of abundance; basically symbols of perceived limitation. This births the ability to blame. To blame is an attempt to hold this externalized aspect of your power responsible for your state of being, instead of being fully responsible for your Self. Re-assimilating this externalized power is a part of the journey to being All That You Are. To take back that power is to come to the realization that all power over your being is yours alone. It is to realize, within your Self, the absolute power of choice over your being.
With the taking of responsibility for your suffering comes the realization that it is not a mistake to suffer. This does not mean that you ‘like’ suffering. It is the realization that not only did you not do anything ‘wrong’ to suffer, but that you chose your suffering with a purpose. This is the release of the idea that you can make mistakes. The reason we use the word ‘mistake’ is that though you may have released the idea that you did not do anything ‘morally wrong’, many of you still feel that if you are suffering then you must have made mistakes in your choices. The idea being that a mistake must have been made, has caused the state of suffering. This allows for an interesting example of the rippling effect of beliefs.
If you believe that to suffer is a mistake then you believe in the existence of mistakes. If you believe in mistakes then you live in a world where your power of choice, instead of being a moment of empowerment, is a moment when you can fall. This is to live in a reality where there is jeopardy, and that is to live in a world where you do not feel safe. To not feel safe is to be living in fear. To live in fear is to be suffering. The conclusion being that if you judge suffering to be a mistake then you will live within that judgment and that is to be in suffering. That which you judge, you end up holding to you. There is no concept of karma here, simply the living out of your beliefs. Karma simply means ‘your action’; meaning how you choose shapes your future.
To live in joy, accept that suffering is not a mistake. This is the letting go of the cross of suffering and it is a cross that humanity has been carrying for a long, long time. To see suffering as a mistake is to dis-acknowledge states of being that you chose, with infinite wisdom, to be. Realize that you do not need to see suffering as a mistake in order to stop choosing it. You do not need to ‘reject’ that which you no longer wish to choose. Simply stop choosing it. The suggestion being, that only when you stop judging suffering to be a mistake, can you finally release it from your life.
Your power to choose joy is the power of choice. It is your free will, the point from which you create your reality. Realize the ways in which you may fear the full realization that you create your own reality. Fear of this realization is why many give away their power of choice. Though it may seem strange, the fundamental fear in your reality is the fear of your own power; and that is the realization that you are limitless. You fear the realization of Self as God.
You will experience joy when you free your Self from fear of your power, fear of your limitlessness. Realize the perspective from which it can be said that all fear is fear of your power. Acknowledge that there is level at which you are terrified of the complete realization that you are the architect of your being. It is the ultimate responsibility to your Self. Many feel naked when stripped of the ability to blame, for they have come to partially define themselves through it. Beyond your fear is you in limitlessness. Without fear you are free to act, free to choose, free to create. Without fear you are free. It is to realize the limitlessness of your being. It is to step into your Godhood. It is to internalize and be the God that you have, predominantly through organized religion, externalized. God is neither external nor internal. God is everything, everywhere. God is holographic, with each aspect containing a complete imprint of the whole. God is All That Is.
If you went out and asked people, "Who do you think has the power to bestow joy and suffering on a person?" the most common answer you would receive is God. The 'father' God of organized religion has become a symbol of how many have externalized their power. This has become so acute that some have rejected any notion of their divinity, instead choosing to believe of themselves as an accident of atoms that perishes at death. The middle ground being trodden by many at this time is the reclamation of All as God, divinity expressed from within. Some people fear that to realize God as being internal would somehow be the loss of God when, in actuality, it is the discovery of God. There is a God and you are a living self-determining expression of it.
To exercise the power to choose joy you must come to know that it is you that possesses that power. You must come to view your Self as being that which has the power to, with your free will, manifest joy in your life. This comes through both coming to not live in fear and coming to love your Self. Coming to love your Self is coming to not live in fear. You are love and the only thing that separates you from the experience of your Self as pure love is both your fear of your Self, and your attachment to the idea of exactly what love is. Love is limitlessness; the desire for all beings, including your Self, to experience complete freedom to be whatever they choose to be. To realize your Self as being an unlimited self-determining expression of God is to realize within your being the power to choose joy.
Coming to choose joy for your Self is an ever unfolding process of coming to release your being further and further into limitlessness. Bringing joy into your life is like cultivating flowers in a garden. See the allowance of time in this idea. Realize the ways in which you can give joy to your Self. Seriously think about it. Ask your Self, "What can I do that will bring joy into my life?"
This is, surprisingly, a question that people rarely ask themselves. Choose one of your answers and give it your energy. Know it as a seed and, as you nourish it, so it will come to blossom into joy; a flower that will then offer many more seeds, each of which carries the potential for the continual blossoming of your joy. Look at yesterday and see where you sowed seeds of joy and where you merely sowed seeds to 'not suffer'. Realize joy to be far more than 'not suffering'. Don't seek to 'not suffer', seek to be joyful.
Everyday you have the choice to give joy to your Self and yet you rarely do. Somehow, in the moment, other things seem more important. You want a field of sun flowers to miraculously appear, but you will not plant seeds by giving your Self moments devoted to your joy. Many have forgotten how to play. Without play all the money in the world will not bring you joy. You think to your Self that you will learn to play when you have the money to do it with.
That is simply to live in delay; that is to delay your abundance. It is to give away your power to the idea of money. Learn to play without money, and money will come to you because it wants to be played with.
Now let us talk of joy and money, two things you love to mentally connect. Many of you are so caught up in your own suffering, or the suffering of others, that you make no space-time for play. You do not want to hear that love and joy are all around you. You say to the Universe, "Pay my bills first and then I will look for love and joy." You believe that to refuse to be joyful before the Universe gives you its riches will somehow push the Universe into giving you what you want. You fear that if you have too much fun when you are poor then the Universe will say "See you didn't need any money after all." The Universe does not decide these things, you do . Money is not a reward bestowed by some external entity. The power for the choice for money is yours just as the choice for joy is yours.
As long as you believe that money will make you happy, as long as you make money the determinant of your happiness, then you will not find either happiness or 'enough' money. There are many who you may perceive of as being rich, who are miserable in their chase to have even more money. They never feel that what they have is enough. The feeling of having 'enough' is feeling a state of completeness in your Self.
No external condition can give this to you. When you come to joy inside of your Self then money will come to you as your personal symbol of that joy. As long as you believe that what separates you from happiness is money then money will separate you from your happiness. That is to say you will come to live in the experience of your belief until such a time as you change that belief. Reality is a mirror of your beliefs. A feeling of lack will only ever draw lack to you.
Joy is something that people tend to think will come to them through some external force, instead of believing that it is something they can create from within. There is no external force that can thrust joy upon you in this way; that would be an invalidation of free will. The power, the choice, for your joy is within you. To live in joy you must give joy to your Self. To do this you must stand in your power such as to realize that it is within your power to do this. To aid you in this, let us look more at the idea of how judgment of suffering can separate you from your power.
To not see being in suffering as a mistake requires extreme non-judgmentalism of your state of being. You tend to label suffering as being 'a problem'. You see it as something that must be fixed. This is in essence a belief that you are damaged. In doing this, of all the seeds around you, you effectively choose the ugliest looking one and give it all your energy. You try to make what is; (your suffering), come to not be; instead of making what is not (your joy), come to be. This is fed from your judgment of your suffering. Judgment acts as an energy that binds you to your suffering in order to resolve the Self-limitation that it represents.
If you truly want to let go of the concept of right and wrong then you cannot believe that it is wrong to suffer. Again, we are talking beyond 'morally wrong'. We are talking of the idea that whatever choices you made, that you perceive as having led to your suffering, were not mistakes. It is to realize that if you are suffering then that is the perfect state for you to further unfold your limitlessness.
If you want to not suffer then let go of the belief that your suffering is in some way defective. If you feel that you are suffering then it is a part of you, and there is nothing either wrong or defective about you. If you are suffering, and you judge your suffering as being a mistake, then you are not loving your expression of your Self, your chosen state of being.
Realize that to judge is not 'wrong', it is however an attempt to limit 'being'. To transform/evolve being you must allow it. Judgment is the opposite of allowance; and that is often fed from an idea of superiority of being. Hierarchy does not exist in the realization of all as One, all as God. A judgment is a belief and your reality is a mirror of your beliefs, a mirror that you live within. What you judge is held to you. What you allow flows unimpeded.
To say "If you are suffering then you are choosing it" is a hard statement we agree, but we do not wish to dress up or disguise what we are saying. Many even view this statement as being a judgment in itself. It is only so if you apply blame to it by judging suffering to be a mistake. When seen from limitlessness, a place of universal love, what it is really saying is "Just as you have the power to choose suffering, so you have the power to end your suffering and choose joy instead." It says that the power is with you , a statement of pure love and empowerment.
The power of this statement is reflected in how easily it can be misconstrued. For our purposes we are saying it to you, with love, to empower you to choose joy. If you were not ready to hear it then you would not be reading this article. Know that we are solely asking you to apply it to your Self if you so wish. To imagine saying it to a person who is starving or living in war is a means to dismiss looking at it in your Self. When you can hear the phrase, "If you are suffering then you are choosing it" as purely a statement of empowerment to choose joy then you will have overcome your judgment of suffering. Use the phrase as a tool to reveal your judgments of your own being .
Though this article has focused on the power to choose joy and to some extent money, it is really about getting you in contact with your power to choose/create your reality as a whole; the primary suggestion being, to take complete responsibility for your state of being, even if that includes past or present suffering.
The only real way to see how this sense of self-responsibility and the power to choose are connected is in the practice of living it. To come to experience, in the moment, every aspect of your life as being something that you are choosing, though tough at times, is a corner stone of empowerment. It is to let go of any sense of being a victim. You are not a victim. You are God. You have the power to bestow joy upon your Self.
Though the text presented here is but one aspect of The Messiah Seed, we have weaved through it many reflections of the whole, such that you may experience a flavour of the entire text, both as it has been written and as it is yet to come in future Volumes. We hope that you have en joyed these words, and we encourage you to find, use, and validate for your Self your own inner voice. It is a sense through which you can empower your Self to create the reality that you desire.
Whether or not you wish to buy the book is naturally a choice for you to make for your Self. Know that money is a symbol of your energy. Where you put it is your choice, and where you put it will grow. So to conclude we simply say, feed what you love with your energy, feed that which brings you joy. How you spend your energy is a part of your power to choose joy for your Self and others. To live in joy choose joy for your Self.
Copyright 2004, Story Waters.
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