TK Logo

  Click for site map
Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny

Allowing Everything To Be.

  I asked, "So by asking God what I should do, I am actually asking myself or more precisely my higher self?"

God replied, "Yes."

"I should therefore listen and act?"


"Sometimes I do not receive a clear answer."

"Only when you choose to block the answer. When you do not receive a clear answer, ask again and keep asking, until you stop blocking the answer."

"That sounds fine, but what if someone is waiting for an answer?"

"Why would it matter if someone is waiting for an answer? If it does matter, tell them the truth, or tell them you are thinking."

"Sometimes the answer which I am given is misleading, or causes me aggravation."

"The answer which you are given is always in your best interest, even if your best interest is to experience something which you do not enjoy. What you are asking is what you have been told to do, put yourself in God's hands, or more precisely allow your higher self to take charge, which is the same thing."

"I was putting myself in God's hands."

"You were, but you stopped putting yourself in my hands. You needed to experience discontinuing to put yourself in my hands, and now you need to experience putting yourself in my hands. So put yourself in my hands."

"Isn't this a 'cop out'? Am I not allowing you to make my decisions for me?"

"Allowing me to make your decisions is exactly what you are trying to achieve. You are relinquishing control to your higher self."


Rainbow bar


"Sometimes you seem to be confused."

"I am not confused. It is the phasing which is the problem. Sometimes we are not in phase. Sometimes we are out of alignment. When we are out of alignment you need only wait until we are back in alignment."

"But can't you just make us aligned?"

"The problem is with the receiver, you. Not the transmitter, me. You have to allow us to stay in alignment."

"How exactly is this working?"

"You effectively draw the knowledge from your higher self, filter your knowledge through the experience contained within your spirit self, and apply your knowledge and experience to situation facing your physical self."

"So the trinity first works in unison, and then comes into unison?"


"Why do we sometimes stutter when we communicate?"

"Because we slip out of phase, it was not that long ago when we could not communicate at all. Review the 'process' as you have called it from the start. At first you did not know that we were communicating."


Rainbow bar


"I still see us as separate entities."

"You do not, you describe us as separate entities. You call me God, which is what I am. It makes it easier for you. If you want we could say the God self, the spirit self, the physical self. This is the trinity, the Father, who is the creator, the Spirit, and the Son who is created by the Father, thus effectively the Son."

"So everybody is, in effect, the Holy Trinity?"

"Of course, created in the image of God."

"What you are saying is that I know that we are the same, but I do not see us as the same?"

"Correct, but you will see us as the same, as you allow yourself to see us as the same."

"Why do I retain aches and pains?"

"Your lower self hangs onto your aches and pains in an attempt to retain control, but the attempt is in vain. Even now we are removing your aches and pains."

"I saw a lady, but when I looked back all that I saw was a tree."

"No, you saw a lady in spirit form using the tree as camouflage. Those who are not attuned would only see the tree. Those who are attuned would see the lady, and realising she had been seen, the lady becomes totally spirit so when you look back you see only the tree. How many times have you been sure you have seen someone, and when you looked back you saw only a shadow or a reflection. Understand that spirits sometimes lower their vibrational rate to appear on the earth plane, and mostly these spirits use shadows and reflections for camouflage."


Rainbow bar


"So what we are doing is leading people back to the higher plane?"

"You should understand that we are not leading people back to the higher plane, we are providing the key to their awareness which will allow them to find their own way back to the higher plane."

"So the point is that because the earth plane is going to be recreated, those who have gained experience need to gain awareness, and those who lack some experience need to gain that experience."

"Yes, experience takes a great many lifetimes and awareness is not achieved in one lifetime. You have taken six various lifetimes to become aware."

I asked if I would do a specific thing later that night.

"Ask only what to do now."

I received a letter from one of the long term prisoners who I was writing to. I reflected on my own time in prison, in my last lifetime when I had hung myself. I reflected on the number of times that I had taken my own life previously. I knew that I was given the same basic circumstances in principle, over and over, and that I had only progressed, when I did not kill myself.

I understood that having faced these circumstances and experienced killing myself, I was then required to face these circumstances and experience not killing myself. I had the principle right, although I had missed the point for many lifetimes.

I noticed the coincidence of receiving Billy's letter now, when I was becoming aware of the double sided nature of experience. As I prepared to go to bed, I started thinking about when I should reply to Billy's letter.

God said, "Do you not realise that the problem which you have had sleeping has been caused by focusing on other than what you doing. This is what I have been saying. Only do what you are doing now. If you are resting or sleeping, do that and that alone. You have experienced the effects of not only doing what you are doing now. It is time to experience the effects of only doing what you are doing now."


Rainbow bar


When I awoke the next morning, God said, "Now, wasn't that better?"

As I began making my morning coffee, I began asking questions.

God said, "Hang on a moment, aren't you making coffee?


"If you are making coffee, make coffee. You attend to now, and I will attend to everything else."

I found my mind drifting, wondering what would happen when I met my soulmate. 'Would I like her? Would she like me?'

"She is your soulmate for God's sake. Not another woman. She is part of you and you are part of her. She is the water to your earth. How could you not like each other?

"You will be there to meet her in Paris, you will marry, I will see to it. You worry about now, and I will look after the rest."

I had been thinking about Nancy. I knew that Nancy was calling to me on the spirit plane. I wondered if I should ring Nancy.

"If you are meant to do anything, Nancy will ring you."

Nancy did ring me that morning. Nancy asked that we talk. I told Nancy I would call her. I wondered what I should do.

"I will tell you what you should do when it is time."

"Are you sure that everything will be all right?"

"Do you think that I am not in contact with Nancy's higher self? Do you think that we are not in control?"


Rainbow bar


The previous night, Joe had rung me. Joe had wanted to call his ex-wife, and had rung me for guidance.

I had asked Joe, "What does your instinct tell you?"

Joe replied, "Not to ring her."

So I said, "Listen to your instinct, do not ring your ex-wife."

That morning, I wondered what Joe's telephone call had really been about.

God explained, "Joe is being given the choice to experience listening to his instinct against his wants. You had the same choice, but your battle was a lot more intense than Joe's battle will be. Your battle was for control. It was a battle between your instinct, which is me protecting your soul, and your consciousness for control of the trinity. At the time we communicated through what is known as instinct, which was the only way we could communicate at that time. Understand that I could not take control, you needed to consciously hand control to me, as you have done now."

"So you are my instinct?"

"Yes, I am your instinct. When you listen to your instinct, you also listen to me. I am trying to protect you against yourself. I am the sword which you draw to protect your soul, and I am also your soul. Understand that I look after our best interest, even if sometimes I will let you follow a course which will cause you difficulty.

"That is why I let you follow your course with Marie, I knew what would happen. What you would experience had been planned by me, and by Marie's higher self. It was an experience which you both needed to share for different reasons. You know why you needed the experience, and in time Marie too will know why she needed the experience.

"Remember, in the previous five lifetimes during which you attempted awareness, you experienced failure in four because you were not ready. on the last occasion you chose on that mountain not to attempt awareness. It was a conscious decision, but a decision which you were destined to make. Each has a destiny, and that destiny is possible not because God changes anything, but because God foresees everything.


Rainbow bar


"It is your higher self which chooses where you will be born, and what you will face in each lifetime. Your higher self knows what you will choose, because your higher self foresees what you will choose. Often you will receive a warning when it is known that the warning will be ignored, and ignoring the warning will be the experience.

"Those with whom you will come into contact during your physical existence are known, but coming into contact with others is not contrived as such, coming into contact with others is a simple matter of convenience. So coming into contact with others is arranged. If you need to experience this, and another needs to experience that, it is convenient that you do so together.

"Your higher self is the link which you have with all souls and with God. Your higher self is also God. Like a drop of water in the ocean. Some souls are linked to your soul directly. They are in turn linked to other souls and so on, until all souls are eventually linked to form the ocean. It is the souls which are the drops connected to your drop in the ocean, which are your bonded souls.

"Do not mistake your conscious mind, for your conscious self. What you achieved was that you released your conscious mind. You did not release your conscious self. When you released your conscious mind, you allowed your subconscious mind, or your spirit mind to take over. Now you are releasing your spirit mind, and you are allowing your super consciousness, or your God self to take over. Your conscious self still exists, and your conscious self exists even when you are in spirit form. Your spirit self exists, and will continue to exist because you store your experiences within your spirit self.

"When you become one with yourself, what occurs is a merging of knowledge, experience and application. It is a form of equation. Knowledge plus experience plus application equals awareness."


Rainbow bar


"This all seems different from what I was told previously."

"No, not different, but more complete. If you reflect back to the little that I told you about how everything works, when you were on the island, you will recall that I told you the basic meaning of life. All that was to happen is that the gaps have been, and are being filled. You will recall that I told you that you would increase the depth of your knowledge. What you are now doing, is increasing the depth of your knowledge, drawing on your experience and applying both to become aware."

"I want what is going to happen, to happen. I did not think that I was to want anything, only experience."

"This will take a little explaining, firstly understand that what you want is going to happen. It is more an issue of knowing what will happen, and wanting what you know to happen, because what will happen is not what you wanted to happen. What you wanted was for your business to succeed, and to be happy with Marie. The difference is that you do not want the events now. You want the experience. As I have explained and as you are seeing for yourself, you have experienced much. Between yourself and your soulmate you have experienced nearly all. What you have not experienced is merging your experiences, with your soulmate's experiences and again becoming one entity, to experience completion. You desire to experience completion, because completion is your final experience, and this is your final lifetime, which I told you on the island. That you will use your experiences to show others the way, is a matter of convenient timing.

"You happened to have been destined to complete your circle now, when many are seeking the truth. Your choices were known, and the choices of all are known, so it was convenient that you provide your experiences as an example.

"You have an echo of fear that you will experience non completion, but you overlook what you have experienced, and are aware that you have experienced. You have experienced non completion, but you are yet to experience completion.


Rainbow bar


"Let us consider the difference here. When you wanted Marie, you wanted Marie and no other would ever satisfy you. You have now gone beyond your conscious need to find your soulmate, which drives all relationships. Your subconscious kicked in and through experience you knew that your soulmate was Katerina, and you were led to her. Until now you have described Katerina simply as your soulmate ,and you did not know why you did this. Understand now that it was your soulmate who you wanted, and her identity in this lifetime is Katerina. It mattered not what she looked like, or what her character was, or where she lived, or even that you do not really speak the same language, yet.

"All of your normal considerations went out the window, because your normal considerations are illusions.

"You want your soulmate who happens to be Katerina, you want completion, and you want to experience the pure joy which the earth plane can be. You want completion and joy with your soulmate, because completion and joy with your soulmate are not what you have experienced. You have experienced a taste of completion and joy with your soulmate, when you and Katerina have encountered each other in previous lifetimes, so you know from experience that completion and joy with your soulmate is real. You know that you could achieve completion and joy with your soulmate, living in a cave, so you would be happy to live in a cave. However, because it is convenient timing you have been asked, you have been destined, to be a teacher and an example, so you are being given the resources to be a teacher and an example. You could not be a teacher and an example in a cave.

"The love which you feel for Katerina is the love of completion, not the desperate love in one form or another, used to gain experience. The love which you feel for Katerina is pure love, an all knowing love, which is the difference that you have noticed. The love which you feel for Katerina is a more perfect love, not a less perfect love. In fact, the love which you feel for Katerina is perfect love."


Rainbow bar


I encountered a spider in my shower, and my fear of being harmed kicked in.

"Relax, he will not harm you. It is your memory of being devoured by another spider that is surfacing. Do you not also remember being a female spider? Mating and devouring. Do you not recall encountering humans as a spider and not being killed, until one day you encountered a human and were killed. This is the nature of experience.

"Do you think that the spider is in your shower by accident? Do you think the insects which have plagued you, have arrived by accident?"

"Well, I would not have thought …"

"Do you recall me saying that only souls in human form can help you gain experience? Have you already forgotten that little cat?"

I remembered that when I lived in the mountains, I had destroyed a nest of rats.

"Do you think you were never a rat?"

I remembered being a rat.

"Why would you assume that those rats did not want to experience their nest being destroyed, and some of their number killed? Why did that experience have to be for you? Why could that experience not be for the rats?

"Was it not convenient that the rats chose to be where they were, so that you could destroy their nest, give the rats an experience, and at the same time conveniently provide you with an illustration to be called on, when I needed it to make a point.


Rainbow bar


"Do you remember that I told you that your task was to put everything together. To rejoin the pieces of the puzzle, so that those who desired could see the vine? What do you think you have been doing?

"You cannot tell someone else not to kill even an insect, because the experience will be the experience which they both desired. You have no such desire because you truly have found God. Remember that the Ten Commandments made this promise to you.

"I told you that you would experience that you can only be well served by what I tell you, and if you forget what I tell you, you will be subtly reminded.

"Consider your present situation. If everything had already fallen into place, you would not have to place yourself in my hands. You have already exhausted all other options, made all other choices and experienced the result. You were left with one choice, which was to put yourself in my hands. Now you will experience the result of your choice to put yourself in my hands."

In the office that day I became apprehensive.

"Relax. You, meaning your lower self, are trying to take control back from me, meaning your higher self. Leave control in my hands and do what I say. You are attempting to force events, allow events to occur as they will. Do what I say."

I followed God's instructions and I went for a coffee with Joe. I had a new message for Joe, and an explanation of what had occurred the previous day to give him. Sometimes I was able to answer Joe's questions directly, and sometimes I sought guidance. I asked why this was.

"When you confidently answer correctly, your instinct which is me is in control. We are working in unison. When you ask, we are working together but not in unison. As your experience and awareness increases. So will your ability to work in unison."


Rainbow bar


I continued to do whatever God said. I was shown that everything worked out, although not necessarily as I had anticipated.

"You are experiencing that you are being protected by me, and that you have no reason to worry."

I wondered about Joe, it must be more than coincidence that the people around me were enduring difficult experiences at this time.

"You are being given experience in what you are being asked to do."

I was tense, I could feel tenseness in my back, and I could feel fear in my stomach. I asked, "Why is this?"

"You feel your remaining concerns, your fear echoes. You are preventing your fear echoes from manifesting as worry, so your fear echoes manifest physically. Have no concern. Endure. Patient endurance is how you will release your fear echoes."

"Are you sure, whatever I am experiencing feels real."

"Yes, your fear echoes do feel real. You have created your fear echoes, and you can release your fear echoes. Your fear echoes are an illusion, and you know that your fear echoes are an illusion."

I became extremely nervous, and I could not understand why. I attempted to seek God's assistance, but I could not. After the experience, I asked, "What was that experience about."

"You were blocking me."


"Because your conscious self wishes to retain control."


"Because your conscious self has not experienced relinquishing control to me. You will recall you experienced the same difficulty when you were relinquishing control from your conscious mind, to your subconscious mind. What is happening is that firstly your conscious self passed control from your conscious mind, to your subconscious mind. Now your conscious self is in the process of passing control from your subconscious, to your super conscious, and your conscious self is apprehensive, because giving control to your super conscious is a new experience. As giving control to your super conscious is experienced, your conscious self will no longer be apprehensive, because your conscious self will experience that your conscious self has no reason to be apprehensive.


Rainbow bar


"Understand that everything that you do now, is to experience apprehension, so you can experience that you have no reason to be apprehensive. Do not forget your role as the example, and that you experience apprehension and work through apprehension, to show others that if they experience apprehension, they will also work through their apprehension.

"Do you see how you only have these difficulties when you lose sight of your spirituality, even for a moment? The key is to allow yourself to see your spirituality. Seeing your spirituality is all that you are required to do. Allow everything to be and everything will be. The key is that simple."

It was proving to be a challenging day. I found myself becoming drained of energy at the office, which is something that had not happened for some time. I asked, "Why was my energy drained?"

"Your conscious self allowed your energy to be drained, as another way of staying in control. I would not have allowed your energy to be drained."

"Why did you?"

"You need to understand that I cannot take control, it does not work like that. I have to be given control, which as I have explained, is basically a last resort because everything else has been experienced. Remember that all must be experienced, and if control is given, the experience is lost. Giving control is the final experience, and if control is given without having first experiencing all, then all cannot be experienced."

"Why don't I just give you control, and get it over with?"

"You will give me control, but you are not yet aware that giving me control is the only way. You know that giving me control is the only way. Your experience tells you that there is no other way, but you are only starting to experience that that giving me control is the only way. As your experience grows, so does your awareness."

"Okay, so I have to experience giving you control, to be aware that I need to give you control?"

"You need to experience both giving me control, and not giving me control. Then you will choose to give me control."

"But if I am destined to make the choice to give you control, how is giving you control a choice?"

"Giving me control is a choice which you are destined to make, because you have already made all other choices, and experienced all other things. You now need to experience the choice to give me control, which you have already made. Your difficulty is not created by the choice, your difficulty is that you are experiencing a new choice.


Rainbow bar


"What do you think you have been doing? You already had knowledge, you have already had experience, you are now experiencing awareness. You need to merge your knowledge with your experience to gain awareness. You have gained awareness for the most part. You are now experiencing awareness, by becoming aware. You are aware that the only choice which you have left is to relinquish control to your higher self, so you have made the choice to relinquish control to your higher self. You are now experiencing the consequences of your choice to relinquish control to your higher self, and one of the experiences which comes with the choice to relinquish control to your higher self, is a reluctance to pass control to me. It could not be otherwise. Everything is exactly as everything should be."

"What has been the purpose of my experiences during the previous few days? Firstly you show me that there are alternatives, then show me to focus on what I have created, and then you show me that there are alternatives again?"

"The purpose of your experiences is both simpler, and more complex than you describe. You need to experience that if you put yourself in my hands no harm can come to you. You need to know not to look for solutions, because you will not find solutions by looking. Solutions will be presented to you. You need to know that you may be aware of what will happen, but you are not aware of how what you know will happen. At the highest level you know how what you know will happen, and you have drawn on your knowledge, but you are unaware how what you know will happen, because you are yet to experience how what you know will happen. If I told you exactly what would happen, you would not experience how what you know will happen."

"Then why do I know what will happen?"

"Because you have created what will happen. You needed to experience creating, so you needed to know what you have created."

"But I have created all things in my life."

"Yes, you have created all things in your life subconsciously, because of your need for experience. Having become aware that you create your own environment, you needed to consciously create a new environment for yourself.

"You needed to experience creating, and you needed to experience moving consciously from one reality which you have created to another reality which you have created.


Rainbow bar


"When you desperately wanted to let go of your old world, you could not let go of your old world, nor could you simply walk away from your old world as you wanted. You needed to create a new reality, and walk towards your new reality, leaving your old reality to fade into the background. Can you not see that your old reality, is fading and that you are releasing the final strings which were holding your old reality to you?"

"Yes, I do know that my old world is fading, but I intend to help those from my old world in the future, if they come to me for help."

"Yes, but helping if asked is different. You no longer want any part of the business. The business is an illusion to you, and the illusion is fading. The ideas which you once had, you have now given away, released. You only yesterday were told of something which you knew could harm the business, and you passed the information to your partner with no concern, no warning. You know that you cannot do one thing more to assist the business. The business is an illusion, and those involved with the business will have to make whatever choices they are destined to make. You know this. You cannot change their choices, nor should you try to change their choices. You are open to their choosing to ask you for assistance, and you will provide that assistance if you are asked, because providing assistance is your chosen role. If they seek guidance, you are destined to provide guidance because you have chosen the role of a guide.

"You know that you are destined to guide Joe, and you will guide Joe whenever Joe requests guidance, but you know that whether Joe chooses to accept your guidance, is Joe's destined choice which you cannot change.

"You know that the one, Marie, has chosen her path and that Marie was destined to choose that path. Nothing can, or could change Marie's chosen path. You now understand that the experiences which Marie chose, and the choices which Marie was destined to make, happened to coincide with your choices so it was convenient to bring you together, lifetime after lifetime. The result of those choices could have been no different. The choices of both were foreseen, so bringing you together was convenient, without any concern that anything would, or could be other than everything was meant to be.


Rainbow bar


"Do you see how you needed to understand the concept of chosen experiences and destined choice, because all choice is foreseen. This understanding was essential in your preparation, but you needed to become aware of chosen experiences and destined choice at this point. You needed to know all that you have known, before you could reach this point.

"How could you have even contemplated your role, until you were aware of all that you are aware of now. It is because you know not to attempt to change something, that you are now starting to become aware of the choices which souls will face, and the choices which souls are destined to make. You know better than to attempt to interfere with the experiences, that any have chosen, or will choose.

"You will recall that two days ago, you saw through people's outer covering, and you thought; 'No, this cannot be happening'. Today you saw through people's skin, you saw their bones and organs.

"Look at that wall opposite, and see what those people are doing. You are seeing through the illusion. Did you not see your own aura today? Understand that all you are doing is becoming aware that you can see through all illusions. Seeing through all illusions is one of those abilities which I told you that you would become aware of. Seeing through all illusions is an ability which all have. It is awareness of the ability to see through all illusions, which occurs as you become closer to becoming one with your higher self.

"You know that you can only use your ability to see through all illusions when necessary, and you know that you cannot use your ability to see through all illusions for display. Your abilities will not make people believe. All will have to look within themselves, for proof. If you performed a miracle on television everyday for the rest of your life, your miracles would make no one aware of the truth. People would either disbelieve, and find ways to prove that your abilities were tricks, or people would believe the abilities within you, and miss the point that abilities are within all.

"All on the way to becoming masters have had the ability to see through all illusions, but your ability to see through all illusions is only of use to yourself. Your ability to see through all illusions, is a part of total awareness, no more.


Rainbow bar


"You wanted to revisit an incident today. The incident where you could not find me. I told you that there would be occasions when you blocked me, and I told you that whenever you blocked me, you should do nothing. When you could not find me, you did nothing. The incident occurred so that you could choose to do nothing, and experience doing nothing as I had instructed. If you recall, you have already experienced the other choices."

"Do I need to learn how to use the abilities which I have become aware of before I can become a teacher?"

"No. Understand that you already know how to use your abilities, you are now becoming aware of the existence of your abilities. There will be occasions to use your abilities and when the occasion arises, you will automatically use your abilities. You will not try to use your abilities, you will allow yourself to use your abilities without a conscious thought."

"Is it possible that anything can go wrong with Katerina and I being together?"

"No, there is not. Firstly there is no wrong, only experience. You have experienced not being together, and you have experienced being together. You have not experienced rejoining, and you will experience rejoining. Your rejoining will begin soon, in fact your rejoining has begun. Do you not think that the higher self Brian, and the higher self Katerina are not already undergoing the process of rejoining? Even at your spiritual level, you have felt your rejoining, have you not?"

I was to see Nancy that night. Nancy was experiencing a difficult time. I asked God to explain how I should handle the situation, which God did. I found myself doing something, and suddenly I needed to do something else. I thought; 'Hang on, aren't I supposed to be focusing on what I am doing?'

"Yes, focus on what you were doing, but do not be dogmatic about what you are doing. Be flexible. Be both focused and flexible. Focus on what you are doing now, but if you want to do something else, do something else."


Rainbow bar


I was able to see through everything, every illusion. My new found ability was not like the x-ray vision that you see in comics, my ability was much more than the fictional x-ray vision. When I looked at some furniture, I saw the very substance of the wood, I saw the wood being cut, I then saw a tree, a sapling and a seed. I saw the wood's very creation.

I looked at a steel pole and I saw the steel pole being poured as molten metal, every step in its process from when the steel pole was ore. I looked at a crystal and I saw the crystal's formation. This ability which I had become aware of was awesome.

I called around to see Nancy who told me about a past life which she had visited. I saw that lifetime, and I gave Nancy many more details, before explaining the point of the experience. I told Nancy about other lifetimes where she'd had similar experiences, and I then showed Nancy how the past lifetimes related to Nancy's current lifetime. I explained what Nancy needed to find, which was something that I had not anticipated.

God said, "Did I not tell you that you were experiencing your abilities?"

It was Easter Thursday, Rose's birthday and my bank account was again frozen. I had Easter commitments, and unless my account was unfrozen that day I had no way of correcting the problem until Tuesday. I had heard nothing from those who I was expecting to hear from, nor was I able to pay my rent.

Despite all this aggravation, I knew that there was a reason why the experience occurred and strangely, I was not worried. I was perhaps a little apprehensive, but I was certainly not worried. I knew that there was a point being made, but I did not know what the point was. I knew that I had created my environment, but I did not know why I had created my environment.


Rainbow bar


I was becoming concerned because I had a meeting that morning, and I was going to be late attending the office. I was late attending the office almost everyday, but usually I was not late attending the office when I needed to attend a meeting. I was concerned that the person with whom I was to meet would not wait more than a few minutes, and I would be much later than a few minutes.

God said, "Do not be concerned. You will meet with that person."

When I arrived at the office, the man with whom I was to meet, was talking with my business partner. The man was ready to see me within minutes of my arrival. Perfect timing.

I attended to what work I had easily, but some more difficulties arose. I had a coffee break during which I was shown what would happen with the company, and with two people whom I was concerned about. I was told that I needed to experience providing guidance, even when I knew that the guidance which I provided would not be accepted.

I asked, "If I know that my guidance will not be accepted, why would I bother providing guidance?"

God explained, "Because it is part of your role. Because you are aware that you will provide guidance which will not be accepted, does not mean that you do not provide the guidance. It is not about you. The person who is given the guidance has chosen to experience not accepting guidance. The only difference between what you now do, and what all people do is that you are aware. As you know all pass on messages, although they are mostly unaware that they have passed on a message. The next step is to become aware of the messages, and the final step is to become fully aware."

Later, I met with my business partner and we discussed many things. I allowed my instinct to take control. I gave my business partner the guidance which I was supposed to give to my business partner, and I showed my business partner some glaring problems within the business, even though I knew that my business partner would not listen to what I said, or act upon my guidance.

God said, "You have experienced correctly. The choices have been made, and the events are in train. There is nothing that can be done that will alter the course of those choices."


Rainbow bar


I again attempted to obtain funds from my bank. I had been assured by the bank that the problem would be rectified. However, my account remained frozen.

When I arrived home I was no wiser, and I was not receiving any answers. I was also very tired. The real estate agent rang me again in pursuit of the outstanding rent, and I stalled until the middle of the following week. I did not know what else to do, but I did not worry.

I was starting to rest, and I attempted to sleep. I did not sleep, but I rested for more than an hour. After 4 pm, I was told that everything would be all right, so I dressed and left to attend to my business. At 4:30 pm I went to my bank, and my funds were unfrozen. I knew that I'd had nothing to worry about, and I knew I was experiencing not worrying.

As I went about my business, I found Marie on my mind and I asked why.

"You have been connected, intertwined with Marie for two thousand years. It will take some little time yet for you to untangle yourself."

"Yes, but I know about that."

"You know about some lifetimes. The lifetimes that it was important for you to draw on. There were many more lifetimes that you have shared. You could not have become so familiar with Marie's every move if the lifetimes that you have recalled were all you had experienced together. There were many lifetimes where you spent much of your lifetime together. Allow yourself to draw on another lifetime."

It is the thirteenth century, again England. I am a peasant. I live in a small cottage attached to an estate. I work in the fields. I am happy with my existence, it is simple but Marie thinks that we should do better. Her every move shows that she is not satisfied, and because I know that there is nothing I can do, I feel inadequate. I want Marie to have better, but I have no means of providing it. I feel that I am not good enough, and that I do not deserve Marie. Marie deserves better, and yet I would do anything for Marie. We live our life together, but are never quite happy.

Both of us were experiencing the effect of two separate incidents that had occurred two thousand years earlier. I understood that it was convenient that we experienced together, because what we experience mirrors each other. If but one of us had chosen to act differently, both would have experienced differently. However, neither of us were destined to have made that choice.


Rainbow bar


As I drove to Rose's place, I was reflective. I was thinking about the earth plane commitments that I needed to deal with. I said, "I know that the earth plane is an illusion, but the earth plane seems real to me."

"The earth plane seems real because you have chosen to make the earth plane real. You have chosen to exist on the earth plane, and for you to exist on the earth plane, you must allow yourself to see that illusions are real. However, you can also see that the illusion is illusion, by choosing to see the illusion. You have reached a point in your awareness, where what you see by choice, is immediate."

The spider remained in my bathroom. The spider was long and narrow with long front legs and short back legs. I thought that the spider looked similar to a scorpion.

"They are from the same family."

It was hot, but I did not notice the heat. I was tired, near exhaustion. It seemed that I had been searching forever. I could not recall when I had last eaten, and I was very thirsty.

I felt my tail itch and then twitch, I knew that I had finally found my prey. Suddenly like lightening and with no conscious effort my tail struck, instinct. I almost did not know it had occurred. I watched my prey, a beetle of some sort, die as my poison took effect. I felt a great deal of satisfaction. It was not satisfaction of killing, I was almost unaware that I had killed. I felt satisfaction that my great hunger would soon be satisfied.


Rainbow bar


I looked around me, the masters were with me, but I also saw the room crowded with many spirits as I took in the spirit plane. Evelyn's crystals flashed wildly around the room, reflecting every ray of sunlight.


Rainbow bar

  Click for site map

Copyright permission is seldom withheld.