Rebirth Of A Master
Late that night, Jesus sat with me. That night I truly understood why I had needed to lose everything. I needed to start again. I needed to be re-born, not as being re-born has been popularly used by religions and termed 'born again'. My re-birth was the re-birth of a teacher, the re-birth of one who would teach. A concept which has been reversed on the earth plane.
That I needed to lose everything was something that I had known at the beginning of my journey, but once more I had not understood the full implications of my own knowledge. The irony with this statement was that I still did not know exactly what I would need to endure as a part of my re-birthing process, but I certainly would find out.
The mirror effect applies because we do not need to be born again, we are re-born. We cease being who we are not, plus who we are, and we become who we are. We will be re-born as who we are, which was very much symbolised in the resurrection of Jesus, and was the point being made by that aspect of Jesus' lifetime.
My re-birth is the reason why I needed to create a new world for myself. I needed to build a world based on who I am, not based on who I am, plus who I am not.
My re-birth is the reason why I needed to lose everything, and then start again. However, I needed to lose everything, and start again from a perspective that could easily be understood from within the average, everyday environment, which is exactly what did happen.
Jesus said, "Even in an attempt to turn my resurrection into something other than my resurrection was, the truth was retained for those who chose to see.
"Do not think that the truth which was lost has now been found was by accident. Do not think that the parallels within your words are anything other than the truth.
"The truth is contained within all things. I ask and all I have ever asked, is that all souls find the truth within. There are no rules, there is only truth.
"Only one of us died on the cross that day, my friend."
I knew that I had been re-born, and I knew that I had been re-born from within an average, everyday environment. I knew that it was important that I had been re-born in the way that I had been re-born, whilst my difficulties remained. What I did not know was that being re-born was the start of the process, I believed that being re-born was the finish of the process.
It was time for me to understand precisely what Jesus had meant when Jesus had suggested that it was time to finish what we had started. We would now provide an example of living within awareness, of the heaven on earth which is experienced after re-birth.
I had been re-capping. I had completed my journey in solitude, and now it seemed to be time for me to pick up my life where we had left off. After the resurrection. Once again, there was much more to this statement than I realised at the time. In fact, I only truly understood my own statement in hindsight. There would be much more for me to experience before I would find 'heaven on earth'. I may have understood the principle of what Jesus had meant, but I certainly did not understand precisely what Jesus had meant.
Jesus said, "It is time, that is all."
Sue had told me that I needed to lose everything, but I had not understood the significance of Sue's guidance. I still did not know what 'losing everything' meant, but I was to find out.
I attempted to sleep but I could not sleep. I buzzed, I tingled, I fluttered. I alternated between the physical and spirit planes.
Jesus said, "Do not worry my friend. Everything will be all right."
Whenever my body was adjusting or preparing to adjust to my increasing vibrational rate, I found the adjustment process a little easier if I watched television or something else to distract my conscious mind from focusing on what was occurring.
I eventually had a little sleep and I awoke much earlier than I anticipated, however I was surprisingly refreshed. There was a reason why I was surprisingly refreshed after such a short sleep, but it would be nearly a year into the future before I understood the reason why I was surprisingly refreshed after such a short sleep.
My understanding of my spiritual awareness centre was becoming clearer all of the time.
I reflected on something which Jesus had said to me the previous evening. "Your loss of everything was carefully constructed to suit your example. You needed to lose everything from within an average, everyday environment. You needed to lose everything from a perspective that was not extreme and which will allow others to associate with what you have lost. You needed to lose everything whilst maintaining your support for your family. All these aspects of what you have lost have been important within the context of the example."
That morning Jesus continued, "The balance between losing everything, but not affecting your family is a very important aspect of your example. A soul does not need to walk away from their responsibilities, nor are they asked to walk away from their responsibilities, to find the God within."
Jesus also spoke a little about himself which was unusual. "Many are now asking themselves if I was man or if I was God. The answer to the question is contained within the question. I am no different from those asking the question. I am both a man and God. I was and I am no different from all souls.
"Those asking the question of whether I was a man or God are finding answers supporting either option, because both are correct. However, that I am both a man and God is not only correct for myself or for you, it is correct for all souls.
"Many have discovered the truth about me, but instead of accepting the simple truth, they have attempted to analyse what they have discovered, and they have over-analysed what they have found. I say to those, accept the truth or do not accept the truth, that is your choice, but nothing is to be gained by attempting to analyse the truth."
I realised that whenever Jesus spoke to me in relation to his life or the truth, I was being used as a channel for the one known as many things from a teacher to the messiah. At one time the implications of this would have daunted me, now I was simply passing on a message for a friend.
Jesus continued, "The loss of one's world is personal and individual. You lost your world relative to your character which was also convenient in respect of the example."
Mostly it was a quiet day. I attended the office and I flowed with all that occurred. I continued to be given more pieces of the puzzle for my future.
In principle my environment had not changed at all and my difficulties remained. I was no closer to removing any of my difficulties from an earth plane perspective.
The following morning, I suspected that I would be given another day of peace, and another day to apply my awareness of all that is.
I reflected a little on the previous day. I had been given a date when I would officially leave the business, but I attempted not to embrace the date that I was given. All I could say was that the date fitted perfectly with the timing that I had been given previously, but I had not rationalised the date. On reflection, I was aware of the truth of the 'timing' issue, but I was unable to apply my awareness, until I no longer needed the timing issue.
The date that I was given to leave the business was realistic, the date that I was given to leave the business was logical, but even if the date that I was given to leave the business was real and not a 'carrot', being given a date on which I would leave the business was in itself a double edged sword.
I had a very interesting and intense visit to the spirit plane and on my return, the date that I was given to leave the business had remained with me. I could not allow myself to embrace the date that I was given to leave the business, if I left the business on that date, I left the business on that date, and if I did not leave the business on that date, it changed nothing. However, if I was going to leave the business on the date that I was given to leave the business, the catalyst which would enable me to leave the business, would need to occur very soon.
That day was very much a continuation of the previous day in that my heart chakra was open wide, and my contact with the fabric of existence was very strong.
As I reflected on the date that I had been given to leave the business, I knew that the date did not really tell me anything. All that I had been told would happen, could happen in a number of ways, even if the date that I had been given to leave the business was correct.
That morning, I received a telephone call from my former business partner. It was apparent that everything was coming to a head in respect of the business' major contract. A part of me wanted to become involved, to see if I could salvage the contract once more, but I knew that there was nothing I could do. I needed to allow events to run their course.
I experienced my daily feeling of having endured more than enough.
I reflected on the times when I knew what people needed to experience, but I was unable to adequately explain exactly what was occurring to the person. This was particularly so when the experience was double sided and both sides of the experience were occurring simultaneously. I understood that when I had difficulty explaining something, it was because all I was meant to deliver was the key, which was something that I had known previously.
I now I understood how my knowledge fitted into the big picture. Everything is always as everything is meant to be, and I cannot alter the experiences of another regardless of how hard I try.
I considered my former business. I had known for more than a year that there was nothing that I could do to save my former business. I had remained involved with my former business through necessity. I had experienced knowing that there was nothing that I could do to save my former business, whilst trying to do something to save to save my former business.
It was an interesting day. I retained my peace, but I was, as usual, missing a point.
Spiritually I could walk away from my world with nothing and be at peace with God. Physically I was not concerned, but living under pressure for so long had taken its toll on me.
I wondered about the earth plane perspective, and the solution to my difficulties that I needed from the earth plane perspective. I knew that the solution to my difficulties that I needed from the earth plane perspective was not important, but I knew that at the same time the solution to my difficulties that I needed from the earth plane perspective was important.
I knew that the next part of my journey, which would be a journey within my awareness, would remove some more aspects of the mirror effect of the earth plane.
I know that it was not necessary to live a life of nothing, of abstinence and of poverty. Sometimes we choose to experience a life of nothing, of abstinence and of poverty, but I knew that a life of nothing, of abstinence and of poverty is not the path to God. A life of nothing, of abstinence and of poverty is a part of our path in that a life of nothing, of abstinence and of poverty is experience, but that is all.
I know that finding God does not require self-sacrifice, we only need to allow all to be. I am a master.
I knew that the continuing pressure was necessary, and I knew that I would endure the pressure. However, a master in physical form is human, and I did desperately need a little relief from the constant pressure.
I considered my situation. The worst thing that could happen to me was not very much more. The two scenarios that I faced without salvation were either losing my job, or having my creditors bankrupt me. Either way the result would be the same. My children would lose their home, and I would not be able to be with my wife.
From an earth plane perspective, it seemed unlikely that I would be with my wife and I could not see that my children would need to lose their home. My journey was not about my children. My journey was personal and I had nothing to lose.
In fact, without receiving salvation I do not believe that I can be with my wife in any circumstances. I genuinely have nothing left to lose.
I wondered if all my problems were caused because I was doing nothing to resolve my problems. However, there really was not a lot, if anything that I could do to resolve my problems. My instinct told me to do nothing.
God said, "Do nothing."
Jesus came and said, "Do nothing."
My problem was that I wanted to do something. I knew that everything that had occurred, had been necessary for me to become who I am, to be re-born. I had no regrets, but I was tired.
The beauty of the world had again increased. I remained in touch with the fabric of existence, and my nerves were not on edge. I was just very tired.
I spent most of that night exhausted and totally fed up. I wanted to do something but there was nothing that I could do.
Jesus stood in the doorway watching. Earlier that night, I had asked for his help.
Jesus said, "Just a little more patience, my friend."
I considered if I was attempting to live in the future, which was something that I had stopped doing some time ago. I was not attempting to live in the future. I only thought about the future when I was told something, or when I received something that triggered a vision of the future, or what was effectively a piece of my future puzzle.
I wondered about the task that I needed to complete for the business. I was not impressed with having to complete the task for the business, and I did not want to complete the task for the business. However, I needed to complete the task for the business, or at least I believed that I needed to complete the task for the business, but every time that I attempted to complete the task for the business, I could not even begin the task for the business.
In fact, it was apparent that I had only been given the task for the business to keep me in solitude, and to increase the pressure on me.
As I meditated the following morning, I knew that my environment was as my environment was meant to be. I knew that I would retain my environment for as long as I needed my current environment. If it was time to do something, my instinct would tell me that it was time to do something. My instinct, in all its forms of communication, was telling me to do nothing, which was in itself a replay of the big picture of my journey. I recalled a time when I had desperately attempted to force my environment to change one way or another, but I had been unable to change any aspect of my environment.
I was not worried. I was not concerned. However, I was tired of the constant pressure of my environment. My difficulties may have been illusions, and I may have known that my difficulties were illusions. In fact, I was aware that my difficulties were illusions. Nevertheless, my difficulties did provide the exact amount of pressure needed to ensure that I felt the pressure of my environment. Every time that I felt the pressure of my environment cease to affect me, the 'mix' would change to ensure that I continued to feel the pressure of my environment.
I had only sent Full Circle: Searching For My Soul to my literary agent. I wondered if only sending one book to my literary agent was the problem. Maybe I should have sent more of my books to my literary agent, but even if I had sent more of my books to my literary agent there was not enough time for a solution created by the publication of my books to impact my current environment. My books were for the future, and I believed that my books would fund my spiritual centre.
Sending additional books to my literary agent, was another aspect of my life that required me to be patient, and wait.
Despite the fact that the pressure on me, from the perspective of the earth plane increased, I retained no doubt, nor had I grasped any new doubt.
My only problem was that my difficulties remained, and my difficulties conveniently maintained enough pressure on me to ensure that I felt my environment. The balance and the mix of my environment was perfect for what I was experiencing, or observing as the case my be. I was observing the individual aspects of my environment, but I was experiencing the overall effect of my environment.
I knew that there was nothing that I could do in respect of the business, and I accepted this that there was nothing that I could do in respect of the business, but I did not seem to be able to extract myself from the business. The bottom line was that I needed the business to support my family.
I knew I was repeating myself, and I knew exactly what I was doing. I was searching my environment for a point that I had missed, but I could not find a point that I had missed. There was a point that I had missed, but it would be nearly a year before I was able to see the point that I had missed.
My environment was as my environment was meant to be and there was truly nothing that I could do, other than to flow with whatever occurred. I knew that I was retaining my environment for a reason. Whatever our environment may be, our environment exists for a reason, but I could not find the reason, or more accurately any more reasons, why I continued to retain my environment. In fact, I could see no reason why I continued to retain my environment.
| I had lunch with Rodney, who had been expecting
me to call that day. I did not explain the concept of soul contact to Rodney.
Rodney passed on the same message. "Do nothing, be patient, and see what happens."
It was a quiet and peaceful day. I experienced my awareness that I no longer needed my environment, and once more I experienced my awareness that I no longer needed my environment, from within my environment.
The following morning, I awoke early. There were many aspects of my life where I wanted to take some action, but I knew that there was little I could do.
The time that I had bought in respect of my major creditor had all but expired, and the decision whether Katerina would be granted a visa was only days away.
A solution to my difficulties was not forthcoming, and although there was enough time for my difficulties to be resolved if my vision of two weeks earlier came to pass, my salvation seemed very far away at that moment. However, I did not doubt. I did not worry, and I remained unconcerned.
I saw how doubt, worry, and concern had been used by myself in the past to ensure that I had the perfect mix of difficulties. As the effects of doubt, worry, and concern had diminished and then disappeared, my difficulties had increased maintaining the exact balance which was perfect to allow me to maintain the pressure on myself.
The memory of the breaks in my legs ached each time the pressure began to consume me. I understood that I was reminding myself that I had already experienced crucifixion.
Throughout the previous day, I had asked Jesus for help. Asking Jesus for help was something that I could do. However, I did know that assistance for masters did not work by asking for assistance in desperation. I did know that what would happen had been foreseen, and that I could only be patient, follow my instinct and allow events to transpire. My instinct in any form told me the same thing, 'be patient, and do nothing.'
I knew that it was not necessary for me to like what my instinct told me, but it was in my best interest to listen to my instinct.
All that remained was the simple fact that I'd had enough, and I did not believe that I could endure any more pressure. However, to put this observation in perspective, I had felt that I'd had enough more than a year earlier, and many times since. I would also feel that I'd had enough with increasing intensity in the future.
It was apparent that the day was going to be a day of experience, not a day of salvation. I wondered if I was doing anything 'wrong', or if I was not meant to feel the pressure which surrounded me.
God said, "You are human, you retain your humanity. Experience must be felt to be experience. Do not expect too much from yourself."
I understood God's advice and I understood that the purpose of the earth plane is to feel real, but all I seemed to have from an earth plane perspective was a string of broken promises, and the earth plane did seem real.
"The point is not that my promise will be broken, the point is that my promise will be kept. Souls must understand that my promise will be kept, even if it seems impossible for souls to experience salvation at any given time."
I could see God's point and I could understand God's point, but living God's point was not a pleasant experience, even for a master. I did not want to experience earth plane difficulties any more, I'd had enough of earth plane difficulties.
I considered seeking guidance, but the only guidance that I would receive, would be to reiterate my need to remain patient. I knew that I needed to remain patient, and I was aware that I needed to remain patient so I did not see much point in being told that I needed to remain patient, again.
It was an interesting time in that I knew at all three levels of my existence that all would be well, which is why I was not concerned or worried. However, knowing that all would be well did not allow me to avoid feeling any experience that I needed to feel.
Many of the events in my life at that time continued to parallel events of more than twelve months earlier. I continued to feel that my life had returned to the point at which my journey had begun.
Anne finally telephoned me. Anne was settled and happy, but exactly where she had been twelve months previously. In fact, our conversation paralleled our conversation of twelve months earlier.
I spent the day and the night meditating. I was not looking for answers, I had my answers. I was looking, or more accurately, waiting for relief.
I could not believe that I could endure any more pressure. It was only days away from the decision regarding Katerina's visa. I was fully focused on the earth plane and I could not see how Katerina would be granted a visa. Even if Katerina was given a visa, I could not afford to have Katerina come to Australia.
I understood that I needed to experience what I was experiencing so that I would have an understanding of what I would need to know if I was to be a teacher. I knew that I could only learn if I experienced. I knew that all would have their own experiences, but all could draw strength from my experiences, if they chose to do so.
In a reversal I found myself searching my soul for awareness, knowledge or experience not that what I had experienced was real, but that what I had experienced was not real.
I could not find any awareness, knowledge or experience that what I had experienced was not real, which was significant in that I had searched my soul whilst still existing from an earth plane perspective only, and that I had searched my soul whilst experiencing ongoing difficulties.
'If everything came together for me' was no longer a question from any perspective. My only question was when and how would everything come together for me. I had believed that I needed to have received my salvation to remove all doubt, but this was not so.
I did still want the pressure of my environment to be removed. I did not want the pressure of my environment any more than Jesus had wanted the crucifixion.
Jesus said, "No, but you did."
I knew exactly what Jesus meant. I had wanted to be crucified nearly two thousand years earlier.
As night became morning, two things occurred. Evelyn's crystals danced like lightening around me. The flashes were the longest and brightest I had seen up to this point. Secondly, I was joined by some very powerful spirits. Their presence was almost electric. There were many masters with me that night.
I found myself reflecting on my youngest son, James. The problems that James had been experiencing a month earlier were now all but gone. There seemed to be no reason for James' problems to be gone. However, I knew that there was a reason why James' problems were gone. Evelyn. Evelyn had helped James even though he had been unaware of Evelyn's help, and even though those around James had convinced him that Evelyn could not help him. I know that Evelyn will continue to help James, and I know that what James or others believe will not alter reality.
It was the early hours of the morning before I even attempted to sleep. However, instead of sleeping I entered the spirit plane.
When I returned from the spirit plane, my perspective from all three planes, the perspective of a master was again with me, and I could feel my heart chakra expanding once more. I knew that the earth plane perspective that I had retained that day, had fulfilled its purpose.
As I reflected on the day's events, I could see that I had responded with only my earth plane perspective exactly as I would have responded if I had retained my trinity perspective. In fact, I realised that I had responded within myself differently to the events that were recurring from twelve months previously. Whenever I retained only my earth plane perspective I felt the experiences, but that was the only difference in my outlook.
I realised another thing when I returned from the spirit plane. If I did not have my financial difficulties in particular, I would be 'floating' on the fabric of existence.
I understood why I needed to re-experience many of the events of my life from twelve months earlier. Re-experiencing from a position of awareness was enabling me to experience which aspects of who I was twelve months earlier had been me, and which aspects of who I was twelve months earlier had not been me. My recurring experiences were enabling me to experience and understand the differences within myself.
I finally slept as night became day.
Shortly after I awoke later that morning, my right ear began to ache and I recalled that I had been warned by Sue that my ears would ache.
I had believed that I would not be able to float within the fabric of existence and to fully become who I am, until I had received my salvation. However, my belief was in reverse.
My difficulties were designed and created to prevent me from fully becoming who I am. I had believed that my difficulties had been the cause of my inability to become who I am. However, my difficulties were not the cause, my difficulties were very intentionally the effect.
My interpretation had been in reverse. I did not have my difficulties because I could not fully realise who I am. I had my difficulties to prevent me from fully realising who I am.
Most of my day was spent in quiet meditation. My body continued to tingle and flutter as my vibrational rate increased with my awareness.
Later that day, my earth plane perspective returned. I found myself reviewing the earth plane aspects of my current lifetime. Notwithstanding my current position, I had no regrets. I'd had my share of difficult experiences in this lifetime. Death of a number of people who I cared about, a number of broken relationships, judgement and jealousy in the business world because I was different and I was an achiever. I could regret nothing that had occurred in my life, regardless of how painful my experiences were.
I had made many decisions which had caused me aggravation, and had caused me to repeat difficult experiences. At times, I had been blind to what was happening within my life when those around me could see the 'mistakes' that I was making.
I had made many hard decisions, and I had felt each and every one of my decisions very deeply. I had attempted to be a strong person all of my life, only to learn that I was being 'strong' by the standards of others and not being true to myself. I had sacrificed myself for others, to do what was 'right' over and over again.
I had very little from a materialistic viewpoint to show from a lifetime of hard work, and what I did have was in storage with no prospect of me being able to retrieve it.
I had support from friends, Nancy in particular, but I was estranged from my immediate family and I could not see that my wife could obtain her visa which would enable her to join me. I was emotionally alone.
My financial position was such that unless something occurred soon, the process would begin to commence legal action, which could very well result in the loss of my children's home.
I had a well paid job which gave me no satisfaction. I could not remove myself from my employment environment because I needed to maintain the income to support my children and my wife.
I was in a hole and I could see no way out. However, despite all of my earth plane issues, and even when viewed entirely from the earth plane, I could find no regrets.
I considered how I was dealing with my current environment. I was living each day. I was not dwelling on the past, and I was not attempting to live in the future. Mostly, I was at peace and content despite the enormous pressure upon me. The pressure upon me existed, the pressure upon me felt real, and I could not remove the pressure which was upon me. I was not happy and carefree, but I was not depressed either. I existed within a difficult environment, and I accepted my environment. Mostly, I spent my time in deep meditation drawing on the remainder of my awareness.
Despite the number of times that I had questioned, I could not find anything that I could or should be doing differently. I suspected that the reason that I questioned was so that I would understand that everything was as everything was meant to be. I received my joy from the simple pleasures of life, such as drawing from the beauty of the world.
The following morning, I continued to draw on the results of the previous day's meditation. Most of the financial difficulties that I faced at that point were a direct result of my journey. Funds, albeit borrowed funds, had been provided when funds were needed, and when God had specifically told me that funds would be available. I had only been 'reckless' from the earth plane perspective, because I had put my faith in God. I now needed to maintain my faith that I would be able to repay the funds, as God had told me that I would.
I wondered about the money that I had been sending to my wife, and whether we should have decided that Katerina would work instead of me supporting her. I had not known it when I had agreed to support Katerina, but without my ongoing financial support her slim chance of obtaining a visa would have been no chance. We had needed to establish an ongoing pattern of financial support, which we had not known until a little over a week previously, which was several months after I had made my decision to be Katerina's sole source of financial support. It had been essential that I had supported Katerina, so everything was as everything was meant to be, despite the fact that supporting my wife increased the pressure on my finances considerably.
Everyway that I looked at my current situation, everything was and everything had been exactly as everything had meant to be. I was aware of 'why' every aspect of my journey, and my present difficulties were necessary.
I knew that this review and my previous reviews of my journey from an earth plane perspective were a necessary part of the process.
| My only problem was that occasionally, my
difficulties were such that I experienced my difficulties. I retained
my earth plane perspective all of that day. Doubts were raised and discounted,
and I continued to feel the pressure of my environment.
I wondered if I was dwelling on the pressures within my environment, but I was not dwelling on the pressures within my environment. I was being reminded of the pressures within my environment wherever I turned.
In a stark contrast, some aspects of my environment which could have added to the pressure did not, which was significant in itself. I was being reminded of the pressures within my environment, but the pressures within my environment were not being increased.
I wanted nothing more than peace. I wanted to be left alone without any pressure and I wanted anonymous peace. I did not want to establish a spiritual centre. However, I suspected that after a few months of peace, what I wanted would change.
Not for the first time, I questioned that wisdom of our existence could flow from me, but I could not get my own simple life in order.
The following morning, I reflected on the previous day. I felt my heart chakra expand once more, and I felt my body flutter and tingle with my contact with the fabric of existence.
The previous evening, I had felt that I was close to retrieving some new awareness. I retained that feeling, but I could not reach the new awareness that I was close to.
| I sat on the balcony that morning and I felt
that if I stretched out, I would become one with all that is, such was
the strength of my contact with the fabric of existence.
When I reflected that I could not get my own life in order, I questioned what type of example I would be. I did know that what I was experiencing was a part of example, despite questioning what type of example I would be. I knew I was an accurate example, but I did not want to be an example any more. I wanted peace.
More accurately, I felt that I had done everything that had been asked of me and that it was time for the part of the example that demonstrated the peace and the happiness which resulted from following the difficult path, the high road, to begin.
It was now ten days away from the date that I had been given when I would leave the business, which would be enough time for me to complete some tasks that I had been given, to replace the computer systems work that I had been originally given to do, but had really only been a ruse to return me to solitude.
The decision in respect of Katerina's visa would probably be made tomorrow, but I doubted if we would be aware of the decision immediately. Even if Katerina did obtain her visa, which I doubted in my present environment, I could do nothing to bring Katerina to Australia, until I received my allusive salvation.
If Katerina was to be with me for Christmas, I had only three weeks in which to obtain funds, find a home, and retrieve our belongings from storage. I did not believe it was possible for Katerina to be with me for Christmas.
| The previous day, I had reflected that if
I had known all that I would be required to endure, I would not have undertaken
I considered the remaining three weeks before Christmas. During that time I needed to retain my employment for at least half of the time, even if the date when I had been told that I would leave the business was correct. During this time Katerina would need to finalise the visa process. Even if the funds that I required to provide my salvation were provided on this day, it would take some time to realise the funds, and I needed my promised funds to even begin to do all that I needed to do.
If everything was to occur, as everything was allegedly going to occur, prior to Christmas, I would be cutting it very fine indeed. It was possible for everything to occur prior to Christmas, but it was barely possible for everything to occur prior to Christmas.
There was nothing left for me to do, except wait and see what occurred.
I found it fascinating that I was required to experience the next few days from an earth plane perspective, but I did know that the earth plane perspective was the only way that I would feel the experience, whatever the experience would be.
I found myself reflecting on how basic my meditation techniques were. Each of us has the ability to meditate in many ways regardless of our environment. All that is required is something very basic to distract our conscious mind.
As had been the pattern for a number of days, I spent most of the day meditating. I did find and remove one more doubt. I doubted that a master would feel earth plane pressures, which had been one reason why I had doubted that I was a master.
| In fact, for days I had been unable to do
anything other than meditate. Occasionally, I changed my meditation method
which gave me a little variety in my life, but alternate meditation methods
were the only variants I had in my life. I needed to meditate long and
hard to retrieve what remained of my awareness, which made sense to me,
because I was now searching very deep within myself.
When I was not meditating, I was able to sleep and whenever I awoke, my body tingled and fluttered with contact with the fabric of existence and my ever increasing vibrational rate. I did not quite know how to describe the sensation.
I found myself wondering what would occur after my journey had been made public. I knew many would condemn much of what I said as 'the work of the devil'.
Jesus said, "Some will attack you. It will be their defence against what you have experienced. Do not forget that you ask nothing. You have relayed your experiences, and suggested that all look within. What is satanic about asking people to look within themselves for the truth? Your only statement is that God is love, and God is everywhere. There is nothing satanic in the reality that God is love and God is everywhere. Some will suggest that you use the comments God is love and God is everywhere, to give others an opportunity to believe your experiences, but you ask not for belief nor anything else from another.
"Each must find their own truth within themselves, which you acknowledge. Have no concern my friend, because I will walk with you."
I knew that the next few days would be critical in respect of the alleged timing of the end of my difficulties, but I also knew that in the scheme of things, whatever happened did not much matter.
Whatever happened would not change the truth of anything that I had discovered about our existence, and whatever happened would not change the reality of anything that I had experienced.
However, what was to happen did matter to me. I'd had my share of difficulties and I wanted to experience the joys of 'heaven on earth'. What was to happen mattered not only to me, but also to my example. What was to occur during the following year did very much matter to my example, but at this time I was viewing the example in reverse.
I did not know what would occur. I had been provided with a sufficient amount of conflicting information to create an environment of confusion, an environment that was necessary, but an environment that I did not like.
The following day was another day spent in solitary meditation. It was an unusual day. My body fluttered around my heart chakra, my hands hummed with contact with the fabric of existence, and at the same time I was nervous. I did not know why I was nervous, but I suspected that my nervousness related to the decision whether Katerina would obtain her visa.
Nothing occurred that day to change my environment. I wished that I had not been given a time frame, even if being given a time frame had been useful at one point to give me the incentive to keep going. I had reached the point where all that 'knowing' the timing achieved, was to emphasise the pressures of my environment.
I went for a walk that evening. I wanted nothing more than an end of my difficulties. I really had endured more than enough, or so I believed.
I sat on some steps in front of a building and I was joined by a spirit. I did not recognise the spirit until near the end of our discussion. It was the spirit I knew as 'Pure Love'. I had needed someone to talk to about my life in general, and about the previous eighteen months in particular. Pure Love had made herself available.
Once again, I had ignored all of the spiritual aspects of my life, and I had focused entirely from an earth plane perspective. After my discussion with Pure Love, I felt more at ease.
That night, and for the first time I was unable to contact Katerina as we had pre-arranged. My inability to contact Katerina could mean anything, or my inability to contact Katerina could mean nothing. However, the perfection of the timing of this development was far from coincidental.
I sat quietly, attempting not to contemplate any possible reasons for my inability to contact Katerina. Jesus appeared in the doorway, and stood smiling at me.
I said, "If you are unable to help me, please go away."
Jesus said nothing. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes longer and then left.
The following morning, I felt exactly as I had felt during the previous day. A fluttering heart chakra, humming hands and a nervousness which I could not explain. I retained my earth plane perspective, which told me that I needed to experience my environment.
In fact, we only feel our environment from an earth plane perspective when we need to experience our environment, which was something that was becoming more pronounced for me each day. If we need to feel an experience, we adopt an earth plane perspective.
Even after we attain spiritual awareness, we retain an earth plane perspective whenever we need to experience something, which does not mean we have failed, or lost our awareness as I had once suspected. That we retain an earth plane perspective, means only that we need to feel an experience.
That morning, I was extremely tired and even after I had been out of bed for more than an hour I could not wake up. I was supposed to attend the office that day because a meeting had been planned, but the meeting had not been confirmed. I had planned to attend the office regardless of the meeting, but I decided that if I was required to attend the office, somebody would contact me, and unless somebody did contact me, I would not attend the office. Immediately that I made my decision not to attend the office my tiredness lifted, although my tiredness did not disappear.
I found myself reflecting on the alleged perfection of a master. I was far from perfect, but I am a master.
Jesus said, "Most of the perfection associated with masters is a result of erroneous reporting, as we have established, which is why it has been necessary for you to 'report' your own experiences.
"What you are demonstrating is that you are a master. You retain your humanity, you still have difficulties, you still feel your experiences and you are a master. A master does not need to be perfect. You have no rules, no ceremonies. You are required to do nothing other than to allow yourself, to be yourself. You have no self-sacrifice to make. You are simply a master.
"The implications of your message will frighten a great many people. Many will be very much afraid of what you are saying. You have demonstrated that all can become a master from within their own environment, even if that environment is difficult. However, the difficulties do not have to be extreme. All may become a master, and all will become a master, which is the last thing that people are ready or willing to accept. All people can become a master from within their own environment.
"However, this is not a coincidence, because that they will become a master is the last thing that people will accept.
"Every master has had periods of solitude, and every master has a period of difficulty, which have been acknowledged, but it was determined that the difficulties faced by a master are extraordinary. This was not so. This is not so.
"Difficulties are not necessary for one to become a master. One only needs to consciously decide to become a master. If you had consciously chosen to follow your spiritual path, you would not have needed to have been thrust upon your spiritual path. Nor would I, because I was no different than you.
"The path that you have experienced was necessary, because what you have experienced was all that you had left to experience, but the experience would have been so much easier for you to endure if you had consciously chosen the experience, and allowed the experience to happen.
"However, you were not destined to make such a choice. You continue to be too hard on yourself. You still question that you are doing nothing, and wonder if others will also think that they must do nothing. This is not so. You are doing much. You have written five books and seven chapters of insights within an eighteen month period, whilst maintaining your employment. This has been difficult, but you have achieved it. Do not underestimate your achievement.
"You do not feel your achievement, because you have not yet experienced the realisation, or if you prefer the result of your achievement. What do you expect? How can you experience what you have achieved, until you realise what you have achieved?
"You feel that you do nothing because you spend your time in solitary meditation. To spend all of one's time in solitary mediation is one of the most difficult things that can be asked of anyone.
"If you consider your writing from an earth plane perspective, the subject matter is awareness through looking within. Is not solitary meditation therefore research for your writing? Is this any different from spending time at a police station if you were a crime novelist?
"You are correct my friend. You have done all that has been asked of you. You are also correct in that you did not consciously choose this path. You have however consciously chosen each step.
"You are a good person and you do deserve the joy that will come to you. All are good people and all will know that they are good people when they become aware of who they are.
"You must endure a little while longer. The end of your journey to awareness is closer than you think.
"You know that each part of your environment has been necessary to unlock your awareness and you know that your meditation of the previous few days has allowed this discussion to occur. You know that you had retrieved this information during your meditation. It is not a coincidence that your friend Nancy provided the key to unlock your awareness.
"You know that it is not necessary that your awareness is retrieved with my assistance, but you have my assistance now because you are ready to receive assistance from me. As I have said my friend, we will walk together.
"You know that if your environment had been other than what your environment has been, you would not have looked so deep within yourself. Understand that without your difficulties it would not have been necessary for you to look so hard and so deep within yourself. You created your difficulties, to 'force' yourself to look deep within. Did not Sitting Crow tell you a year ago that you must look deep?
"Have no fear. I am Jesus. I am a master. I am a friend to all, but our relationship is beyond friendship. I say to you, have no concern. Your family will not lose their home. You will experience the joy and happiness which is the second part of our example. Trust me my friend, trust yourself and trust God the ocean, God the fabric of existence.
"You were my closest friend in my final lifetime and lifetimes before that. Many have attempted to change this fact. It did not sit well with those creating a religion that I was 'betrayed' by my closest friend, so they attempted to alter the truth.
"You attempt to avoid writing much of what I say to you, when what I say relates to yourself. This is your humility. You are concerned that you are proclaiming yourself to be a saviour or a messiah. You are not proclaiming yourself to be a saviour or a messiah. You are not claiming to be special in anyway.
"You are an average man with your share of difficulties, which has not changed since your journey to awareness began. This is the point. This is our point. You have undertaken your spiritual journey from within your existing environment. All can undertake a spiritual journey from within their existing environment. You are not special, and you do not claim to be special. This is our point. This is God's point. This is the point of the example.
"We have said this before, and now we repeat it. You are looking at this from the mirror perspective of the earth plane. You are not saying that you are special because of what you have experienced. You are saying; 'this is what I have experienced, and I am not special'.
"Consider if your solitude and awareness had occurred through spending forty days in a desert. Who could have followed your example in today's environment? So your solitude and awareness occurred from within your average, everyday environment.
"I did go into the desert and there have been a number of souls who followed my example, but many chose to believe that they had to live in the desert. I never lived in the desert. I never lived in solitude. Consider aspects which remain of my teachings, I enjoyed life. I did not hide from life. However, throughout that which has formed the basis of the New Testament was only preparation, the first part of my journey. This is effectively the point which you have now reached, the completion of preparation.
"Make no mistake, it is not a coincidence that the truth of my life is being discovered from many different sources now that your time is here. It is not your role to discover the truth of my life, that is the role of others. However, through you and your work, I can and I will confirm that many are now finding the truth.
"You still think that you should not feel your difficulties because you are a master, but this is why you feel your difficulties, because you are also an ordinary man. You think that if you were a master you would not feel your difficulties. However, you have accepted that you are a master for some time and your difficulties have not disappeared. If your difficulties had disappeared as soon as you accepted that you are a master, we would have provided the wrong message.
"You now wonder if you are justifying why your difficulties do not cease, but to what end? So you can justify that you are a master? You do not even want to be a master! You have chosen to be a master, and you have accepted that you are a master, but do not want to be a master. This is the way of a master. You are not saying, 'I am special, I am a master'. You are saying, 'I am not special and I am a master'. You desire only peace.
"You do not want all that will come with your path, either positive or negative from the perspective of the earth plane. However, you have accepted that your path is your path. You would be content to have your work published, because that is your purpose, your role, your task, and live a peaceful and anonymous life.
"I know that a peaceful and anonymous life is what you want, because a peaceful and anonymous life is what I wanted, but a peaceful and anonymous life is not your path. You know that a peaceful and anonymous life is not your path, and you accept a peaceful and anonymous life is not your path, but a peaceful and anonymous life is all that you want.
"You wonder if you use the 'experience' issue to justify your actions, but if this was so you would walk away from your family and justify your actions by saying 'that is what they have chosen to experience'. However you know that this is not so, and therefore you cannot walk away from your family.
"Your example is to maintain your responsibilities and to demonstrate that one can become aware, spend time meditating in solitude, and maintain one's responsibilities.
"Your action in accepting your path is putting yourself in the hands of God. You have accepted your path, despite that such a path is not what you desire. You ask for nothing from any. You do not desire to be seen as a leader, you do not desire followers. You want a peaceful existence."
Despite all that had been said, I knew that I needed to experience whatever would occur during the next few days, and as such, my nervousness, or more accurately my apprehension, remained.
It became a difficult day as my nervousness and apprehension increased. I determined to telephone the Australian embassy in Moscow. I needed to know whether Katerina had received her visa or not, because I needed to ease my apprehension.
As the time when I could telephone the Australian embassy in Moscow drew close, I became like an expectant father. I genuinely did not know what would occur.
I could not understand why I felt so apprehensive, but I certainly would experience the result of my telephone call to the Australian embassy in Moscow. I expected to be given another delay, just enough of a delay to fit in with the pattern of my life since my journey had begun.
I was finally able to speak with the Australian embassy in Moscow. The Australian embassy in Moscow had not received some information that Katerina had sent to them. The Australian embassy in Moscow offered to make a decision without the information, but I knew that they needed the missing information before they would make a decision in our favour. Nevertheless, I was far from convinced that a decision would be made in our favour.
Other than this delay in respect of Katerina's visa, nothing occurred from the earth plane perspective. My difficulties remained with no sign of their removal. Each day I wondered if; 'this would be the day when my difficulties would end' and each day my difficulties did not end.
I supposed that I needed to accept that everything would not be in order by Christmas. There remained a faint chance that everything would fall into place prior to Christmas, but the possibility of everything falling into place prior to Christmas did seem very remote.
All of the assurances that I had received from God or from Jesus did not change the fact that nothing changed in respect of my overall environment.
Whether Katerina obtained her visa or not would not change the reality that Katerina is my soulmate. I had certainly searched for evidence that Katerina is not who Katerina is, but I could not find any. In many respects my life would have been easier if Katerina was not my soulmate. However, Katerina is my soulmate and whether we are meant to be together or not, will not change the reality that Katerina is my soulmate. Whether we are destined to be together does not matter in the scheme of things. However, whether we are to be together does matter to me.
I want to be with Katerina. I retain my humanity and I want to be with my wife. In fact, all that I want to experience is a peaceful life with my wife, which is not too much to ask.
There is something that I had avoided saying all day. In fact, I had probably been avoiding saying the words for days, so Jesus spoke for me.
"If you do not receive your salvation and if you are not with Katerina, it would make a nonsense of our message."
I agreed with Jesus, but I did not know what I was supposed to do. Every time that I had searched for something to do, I had been told to do nothing.
Jesus said, "You are doing nothing 'wrong' or other than in your best interest. Now it is in your best interest to wait patiently and meditate."
I again attempted to telephone Katerina without success. Nothing had changed. Nothing ever seemed to change, except my awareness.
Jesus said, "Consider all that you have achieved from within your environment. It would have been easy to achieve all that you have achieved, if your environment had been to your liking, but it would not have been an appropriate example."
Jesus' observation was all very well and also correct. However, Jesus' observation did not relieve my financial pressure or address any of my other earth plane difficulties. I may have become a master and I may know who I am, but I needed to exist on the earth plane, and as such my problems felt real.
Jesus said, "That is our point."
I thought; 'Of course it is, but making a point does not pay one outstanding creditor.'
Jesus responded, "No, making a point does not pay one outstanding creditor. Do not let it be said that a master does not feel the earth plane. The only souls who do not feel the earth plane are ascended masters. Even those on the spirit plane retain their feelings from the earth plane."
I slept well.
The following morning, I travelled to the spirit plane. I seemed to be back to 'normal' and balanced between the three planes.
I reflected that I had made the point throughout this book that I had achieved my level of awareness whilst effectively retaining my difficult environment. I knew that achieving awareness from within my own environment had been, and continued to be, a very important point. In fact, to achieve awareness from within my existing environment, was the major reason why I had retained my environment.
My experiences and my meditations of the previous few days had allowed me to accept that I would continue my journey regardless of my environment and I would continue my journey and complete my task, even if Katerina could not be with me.
I had not been and I was not worried about anything. I was experiencing or I was observing, depending on what I needed at any given time.
The twin fact that I did not like my environment, and that I wanted a peaceful existence with Katerina changed nothing, and was irrelevant.
I had searched over and over again for something that I had done 'wrong' or something that I was doing 'wrong', but I had to accept that everything was as everything was meant to be.
I had seen the future for myself and I knew what was to happen. My only real questions were 'when?' and 'how?'. I knew from experience that knowing 'when?' and 'how?' would alter my experiences, and I knew that no power in the universe would alter my experience, or the experience of any.
I knew that everything had been necessary. My environment of needing to be patient as the time passed was very much a part of my example. I knew that when my environment changed, the change would be sudden.
I was observing my environment again.
|My meditation that day took me back to one inescapable
fact. I had incurred the majority of my difficulties, financial or otherwise,
as a result of following my spiritual path and my instinct. If my instinct
had told me not to pursue my spiritual path or Katerina, I would not have
pursued my spiritual path or Katerina, regardless of how much I wanted
pursue my spiritual path or Katerina.
My environment was obviously artificial, and very specifically created to assist with my awareness.
I had questioned the times when I had sent money to Katerina when I could have used the money to pay some outstanding accounts, but the money which had been 'unavailable' became available exactly when Katerina needed money.
Everything was exactly as everything was meant to be.
I continued meditating. I could not move past the reality that my difficulties were artificial, within the artificial environment of the earth plane. My difficulties were real from the perspective of the earth plane, and my difficulties felt real, but my difficulties had a very specific purpose.
I felt my difficulties, because I was supposed to feel my difficulties. My difficulties, like my journey, were concentrated to enable me to experience all that I needed to experience, in a way that would allow me to record my journey.
I continued to meditate. I was at peace. In fact, I was 100% sure that if I did not have the pressures within my environment I would be permanently at peace. Even with my concerns, if my responsibilities to my family did not exist, I would be at total peace.
It was only the combination of these aspects of my environment that caused me any difficulty at all. It was apparent that my environment was controlled so that I would be an example. What I did not know at this point, was how my environment was controlled.
Had I turned my back on my life, I would have peace now. I would have enjoyed a happy and content life, deriving pleasure from the beauty of the world, and at one with all that is.
|In fact, it was not that I would have
a happy and content life, I did have a happy and content life,
until it was time for me to experience my difficulties again.
I knew that I continued to repeat certain points, but I also knew that I only repeated certain points, because the points that I repeated were a very important part of the example.
It is difficult to describe what it is like to exist on all three planes at one time.
You can feel your contact with the very fabric of existence, and your body tingles and flutters with the sensation of your contact with the very fabric of existence.
You are aware of and can easily communicate with the spirit plane, but you are not on the spirit plane.
From an earth plane perspective, you are aware of much. You can feel the blood pulsing through your veins. I considered two simple activities that I did, which were generally considered 'bad' for us. When I smoked I could feel the drug reacting with my body. When I drank coffee I could really taste the coffee, but what I experienced was more than tasting the coffee. I could feel the coffee move down into my stomach and the liquid would tingle all the way down my oesophagus.
|These basic principles existed in every aspect of my existence. I could see through the illusion of the earth plane and easily communicate with other souls, such as animals and plant life.
I had become aware from within my environment of ever increasing difficulties.
I had become a master.
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