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Searching for My Soul
Book One Searching for My Soul

Discovering The Bridge To My Soul.

I was continually amazed as I saw how everything was falling into place, but what I was experiencing was not amazing, what I was experiencing was life. I needed to accept this.

Despite the fact that I could see everything falling into place, I remained impatient. A lot of my impatience had been caused by the incorrect detail which I had continually attempted to insert within what I knew would occur. I needed to stop inserting the detail and then attempting to make whatever it was, occur in the way that I wanted. I needed to allow everything to be as it was. I needed to take comfort from my knowledge that I had no reason to worry. By inserting detail all that I was achieving was that I was giving myself something to worry about. What I was doing was a nonsense.

What I did not know was that all that was falling into place was my preparation. I did not know that there was more, much more that I would experience before my journey was complete.

The more I reflected on my life the more I realised that I had known what my destiny was all of my life, but I had not recognised it until I was ready to recognise it, which was when I needed to recognise my destiny.

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I still had moments when I found myself speculating and worrying about things which might happen, despite knowing that none of the things that I speculated about mattered. These moments were a result of the pockets of resistance which I was encountering and defeating one by one. The only consolation that I had was that as soon as something concerned me, I knew that whatever it was should not concern me.

When something concerned me I would leave the issue alone and accept whatever experience fate decided that I needed. I knew from past experience that fate was always right. I no longer arrogantly argued with fate.

I began to receive phone calls from old friends. People whom I had not seen in a long time, were just catching up, or inviting me somewhere. This was in complete contrast to the solitude that I had endured before going to England.

Fate would still step in from time to time, and slow things down or speed things up as required, but this no longer concerned me. I spent my time working, learning and writing and spending time with friends. I knew that I loved my soulmate, despite the fact that it was still not time for me to make contact with my soulmate.

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One day, I had attended a business lunch and I had drunk far too much. When I returned home I spoke with Anne for a while and decided to 'sleep it off' prior to going out. I knew that I had to wake at 7.00 pm at the latest, but I fell into a deep alcohol induced sleep. I would not have woken in time, except that I received a surprise telephone call from Sally, at exactly 7.00 pm. I was obviously meant to attend the dinner that had been arranged for that night.

I saw Jane and her sister Ellen for dinner. I felt that the reason that I was in Jane's life was something to do with the business that she wanted to buy, but I was not sure. I allowed myself to be in Jane's life and I knew that the reason would be revealed to me in time.

I had not seen Ellen for four years. We had been very close friends and we'd had a powerful bond between us before abruptly leaving each other's lives. I was surprised that despite the time that had elapsed since we had last seen each other, our bond remained.

We all have souls with whom we are bonded. Our bonded souls are with us lifetime after lifetime. Sometimes our bonded souls are friends, sometimes they are family, but they are always in our lives. When we meet our bonded souls we recognise them because the bond between souls is permanent.

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The following day I was drawn to my beach. I had the feeling that there was something that I needed to know. Insights were still flowing and I believed that the steady pace and balance between the understanding, knowledge and insights that I was receiving would remain constant.

At my beach I understood firstly that the 'two snakes' which I had finally dropped, were still around me and were tempting me to pick them up again. I knew that I would not pick the snakes up again. I knew that as long as I stayed on my correct path, my life would remain a comfortable stroll. If I wanted to stay on my correct path, I needed to remain focussed and I needed to flow.

I could feel my power and awareness increasing all the time. My transition was not the sudden 'over night' experience that I had tasted on the island, but a gradual and permanent process. I knew not to rush the process. If I needed to speed the process up I would be pushed to do so. My spirit guides were with me nearly all of the time.

  Rainbow bar

The next day I visited Anne because it was her birthday. I continued to be tested in respect of Marie. I could not understand why, I had left whatever feelings remained for Marie on the plane during my return from England. I suddenly realised that I was being tested by an illusion. All that I needed to do to pass the test was to understand that whatever feelings remained for Marie were an illusion.

Later that day I knew I was close to discovering the bridge to my soul. I also knew that everything was exactly on track. That night I was drawn back to my beach.

There are other worlds. There is life on other planets. Those who reside on some of the other planets do visit us from time to time and have been visiting us for thousands of years. Those from other worlds have come to help us and to study us.

There will be a time in the not too distant future, when we will visit other worlds, but we will not discover our ability to visit other worlds until we learn how to control our fear and aggression.

I was constantly being reminded of old lessons. I was led to understand that astral travel is real and that I have been 'astral travelling' for a long time, which I knew, but I did not realise that I knew.

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We were given a simple message many lifetimes ago. That message has been re-delivered by many teachers ever since. We have studied the message. We have interpreted the message. We have used the message as an excuse to build empires. We have turned the message into a number of competing industries, under the guise of religion. We have dictated our interpretation of the meaning of the message, and the interpretation has been changed many times to suit the purposes of the interpreters.

All of this has been wrong. The meaning of the message is supposed to be individual. Each soul will receive and understand what they are ready to receive and understand based on their individual level of awareness.

Many of those who have interpreted and dictated meaning of the message were not very advanced souls. If they were advanced souls they would not have tried to interpret the message. Many only had a limited understanding of the message which they were trying to interpret. The message was simple, but we have complicated it by studying and attempting to interpret it. We were never meant to study or interpret the message, all we were meant to do is live the message.

Rainbow bar

Throughout my life I have seldom remembered my dreams. Whenever I did remember my dreams I was usually being given a message. I seldom recalled my dreams because instead of remaining within my body and dreaming, I would astral travel. My conscious mind had blocked my astral travels out, and although with hindsight I can now understand my sleep patterns, until I had learned about astral travel for myself, I had not accepted astral travel as a possibility.

I had recently been told that I astral travelled, but even after all that I had experienced, I did not accept that I had astral travelled, because my conscious mind was not aware of my astral travels.

My astral travels are the reason why my insights and inner knowledge usually 'come to me' in the morning. My morning reflection is when I usually recall what I have learnt the night before while I was astral travelling.

Most of us travel the astral plane, some frequently and some occasionally. We can only travel the astral plane when our conscious mind is completely shut down, and usually we have to be asleep to shut down our conscious mind completely.

Astral travel is why a problem which defies solution one day, has a clear answer the next morning. After our conscious mind shuts down, our soul travels the astral plane and seeks guidance. We have no recollection of our astral travels the next morning, but all of a sudden the answer seems to 'pop into' our minds. This is often described as 'coming from our subconscious mind', but we are contacting our spirit guides and others on the astral plane for guidance.

Rainbow bar

I was beginning to understand the progression of the insights that I was being given. I could see clearly how the insights applied to the range of awareness levels. I could usually understand things which were in front of my nose after they had been slowly and patiently explained to me. Each person who chooses to read the insights will be drawn to the insights that they are ready to receive, which is why some insights are practical and other insights are spiritual.

I had expected to spend all of the following day in the office, but I was given an unexpected task which required me to work at home that afternoon. Fate was ensuring I had sufficient time and resources to do all that I needed to do.

The world was becoming more beautiful to me all the time. I had reached a point where if I started to feel a little down, all that I needed to do was go for a short walk and soak in the world's beauty to pick myself up. It seemed like another world to my world of less than two months earlier, but it was exactly the same world.

Rainbow bar

The next morning I realised that although my feelings for Marie were very real and had existed for many lifetimes, my feelings for Marie were also an illusion. I did not quite understand this, but I knew that I would in time.

I was happy with my life, although I was far from comfortable about having to remain involved in my business. My involvement did not feel 'right'.

I did know that I still had something to learn within my business, and until I did learn what I remained there to learn, I would be unable to find peace within my business. I needed to be patient. I needed to trust that what I learned by maintaining my involvement with my business would be worthwhile.

It did not matter how early I awoke, I attended the office at the same time each day. This pattern had been apparent for months and it would continue whilst I remained within my business. I needed to accept that if I awoke early, it was to learn, not to attend the office early.

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The following day I was to have a few more battles with my pockets of resistance, which I won. I always felt exhilarated when I won a battle over myself.

That day I was released from my consulting contract in an amicable way. It was just another aspect of my life which had suddenly and unexpectedly fallen into place, in its own way and in its own time. When I had tried to bring my consulting contract to a conclusion, I had failed. Now it had suddenly attended to itself, without any involvement from me.

That night I understood the answer to a question which had been troubling me; 'When is the process going to be complete?' The process will only be complete when my lifetime is complete. The answer seemed obvious, but it had taken me a long time to see the answer. It would be more than a year before I would truly understand the answer.

I needed to flow with the process. I needed to understand that the process would be ongoing, instead of thinking it would take a certain amount of time and then it would be complete. For some inexplicable reason I had not thought that I would continue learning throughout my lifetime.

Rainbow bar

Allowing the current to carry us along is the only way that we can experience what the river has to offer. Allowing the current to carry us along is the only way that we can see the beauty along the river's journey. Allowing the current to carry us along is the only way that the river can carry us to our journey's end, and to the wonderful and unimaginable power and beauty of the ocean.

We cannot see or imagine the ocean when we are clinging to the riverbank so far inland, but this does not mean that the ocean does not exist. While we are clinging to the riverbank, we will have difficulty believing that the ocean does exist, but the ocean does exist nevertheless. We will never be able to experience the ocean unless we let go of the bank and stop clinging to the false security of the river bank which is only causing us to stagnate.

Eventually, like a drop of clinging water, we will be evaporated and returned with the rain. We will usually be deposited inland to again find our way back to the river and receive another opportunity to cling to the false security of the river bank or to flow with the current. Only by flowing with the current can we become part of the power and the beauty of the ocean.

Rainbow bar

Our world is like a river, with most of us stagnating while we are clinging to the riverbank. We must let go and allow the current to carry us along, sometimes slowly and sometimes fast.

We are evaporated and redeposited over and over again.

I had dreamed so much whilst I was in England, because my soul had stayed with my body whilst I was in a different environment.

I began to appreciate the power of the message that I was being asked to deliver. I saw the potential effect it could have on existing religions. I understood that those who built their lives around religions would likely feel threatened. People would want to debate and argue about the message I was being asked to deliver. I knew that people would do anything to protect their way of life, and the strength of this possible threat terrified me. I could not even begin to conceive how I would deal with the implications of what I was being asked to do.

I was immediately told not to worry. I knew that my message was not meant to be debated. I knew it was not my role to shove the message down people's throats. Despite what I understood at this point, I neither understood the true power of my message, or what was meant when I was told not to worry. I had only scratched the surface.

An opportunity has been created for people to learn. All that I have been asked to do is present the opportunity. Whether or not people chose to accept the opportunity and learn was their decision, not mine. After delivering the message I will be available to guide those who wanted to learn, but not debate with those who do not want to learn.

Providing that I remembered my role, I had nothing to worry about. If I did not remember my role, fate had effectively built in an automatic demonstration system to remind me of my role.

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I later realised that those people who were ready to receive some, or all of my message, would read what I had written and think; 'I knew that', which is correct. Our souls do know the truth.

The following morning Joe telephoned me. He was having personal difficulties. My feeling that I remained in my old world to do something for Joe had been correct. My assumption that the assistance which I provided to him would relate to business had, as usual, been incorrect.

I would be far better off when I stopped making assumptions. However, I had known that there was something that I needed to do for Joe before I could move on. I had been available but I had not attempted to determine what the problem was.

I had made significant progress. If I could stop the assumptions, I would have my ongoing role pretty much right.

Later that day I telephoned Joe and I suggested he come over to see me for a drink and dinner that night.

It was finally time to send my letter to my soulmate. I sent it that day without any hint of apprehension. My feeling that Amanda was with my soulmate was strengthening. My other spirit guides confirmed it. I did not know if my soulmate would be aware of Amanda's presence, but Amanda was with her nevertheless.


That night we discussed Joe's situation. His former wife had met someone else and had moved on. This disturbed Joe greatly. Initially he was devastated, but as he spoke, and I asked questions we both saw that if his former wife was going to move on, the timing was perfect for Joe. We could also see how well everything fitted together. This was all Joe needed to remain on his correct path.

I knew that I had completed one of the tasks which I had remained within in my business to complete. I had completed the task by being where I was and by accepting that I would know what needed to be done, when it was time for me to do it.


I was fulfilling my destiny, and I was at peace.


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