The Gateway To My New World
I again stood on my spiritual path within the spirit plane. I looked behind me. Some of the supports from my old world had fallen away, but others had strengthened. I looked towards the higher plane and I could see the supports of the path to my new world being strengthened. New supports were being constructed. I could see what appeared to be elf like creatures building the new supports. Directly in front of me was what appeared to be a free standing door frame, which intrigued me because I had not seen the free standing door frame when I had stood upon this path previously. Within the door frame a picture was taking shape and the picture was the gateway to my new world. As I stood on that bridge I could see my aura, where my aura had freed itself from the scum, radiating into the distance beyond my line of sight.
My current position was that I stood poised to enter my new world as I had stood on various occasions previously. The difference was that I now stood in front of a gateway to my new world which I had not known existed.
That the gateway to my new world had suddenly appeared, or even that the gateway to my new world existed did not surprise me in the slightest. In fact, I had known within my soul that the gateway to my new world existed despite being totally unaware that the gateway to my new world either existed or would be required.
The pieces of the gateway to my new world that were complete were mostly around the edges. However, there were two or three pieces, seemingly unsupported in the middle of the gateway to my new world.
I searched my soul and despite what was happening I still saw that I would leave the business, although not necessarily as soon as I had expected to. In the meantime I knew that I could not allow this knowledge to affect my business decisions.
Regardless of whether I remained attached to the business for another day, another week, another month or another year I needed to approach the period between this point, and the day that I left the business as though I was not going to leave the business.
I knew that within two or three days I would take the next three steps in respect of my spiritual writing simultaneously. I knew exactly what I needed to do and how I would do it. However, there was one major step that I would take, and despite the significance of the step, I had not had the slightest concept that I would take the step, which was my first step beyond awareness.
Another new development that I had noticed during the previous few days, was that I had an air of excitement about everything that I did. What was significant about my air of excitement was that my difficulties remained. In fact, my basic difficulties had been with me from the very day that I had started recording my journey, until this day with only occasional and temporary relief.
I would not have believed that I could have experienced all that I had experienced from within my difficult, but everyday environment. However as I have stated on a number of occasions, what we believe or do not believe does not alter reality.
It was a nothing day. My time in the office was consumed by meetings. In the afternoon I was simply tired.
My contact with the fabric of existence was with me all of the time. During the day I often felt my underlying excitement for what lay ahead. My soul was again 'away', and late in the afternoon my nerves began to be on edge, but they did not quite get there which was a repeat of what I had experienced the previous evening.
It was a day were some things went smoothly and other things were extremely difficult. The cabin in which I was staying in with my boys was less than satisfactory. In the evening the unknown spirit who had been around me for days let me know that she had followed me to the cabin. However, I was no closer to knowing who the spirit was or why she remained with me.
I was able to sleep early and I slept through to morning.
The following morning, I returned from the spirit plane after having a powerful soul contact with a man from my past. I recalled most of our discussion, but I did not know why I'd had that particular discussion.
I reflected on the events of the previous day. I could not say that I was happy about all that had transpired, but I had accepted and flowed with what did transpire, which raised a question. It has been said by many that we should be happy with whatever we are faced with and appreciate that our experiences are not worse, which is in itself, an interesting point.
There are no rules. We do not have to be happy with our experiences, some experiences are not happy experiences. We do not have to accept our environment in that we can change our environment, but we have little choice other than accept our experiences. All that we can do, is flow with whatever we experience and allow our instinct to guide us.
Worse is very much an earth plane term. Our experience would only be 'worse' if what we need to experience is worse. If we apply the earth plane term of worse to the principles of experience, our experiences become worse when we fail to understand that an experience is not who we are. We need to repeat the experience, until we become aware that the experience is not who we are.
I recalled that when I had begun my journey, I had known that our lives were guided, but I had not known if our lives were guided by spirit guides, God, past loved ones, angels, masters or whatever. I'd had no concept that all of my alternatives were correct, and that each one played a part in our experiences. I'd also had faith in my own instinct without having any concept that my instinct was in fact God. In an irony I'd had faith in God without knowing that I had faith in God.
I found that I would apply my awareness to each thing that I experienced, and I could see how my experiences fitted into the picture of reality that I had rebuilt from my awareness.
The day was a far more intense repeat of the previous day. My nerves were on edge and I struggled to retain my peace. However, I did retain my connection with the higher plane.
The intensity of the pressure being brought to bear on souls throughout the fear based society has grown to the extent where an entire industry has developed to manage stress. Make no mistake, stress is a very real experience. However, stress is not the negative experience that stress is believed to be. Stress is like a pressure valve. When we have accumulated too many experiences the pressure valve releases which forces us to rest and prevents us from accumulating any more experiences. Stress is created by unreleased experiences. We need to experience and then release the experience. We release our experiences by flowing with our experiences, and allowing our experiences to wash over us and pass through us.
That stress has become a part of our lives is not an accident. The volume of experiences within each lifetime is increasing. We are 'packing more experiences' into each lifetime. The earth plane reasons for packing more experiences into each lifetime are many and varied, but the reality is that souls know that they need to increase their levels of experience, to increase their opportunities to become aware of who they are not.
Previously, lifetimes gave us the ability to experience one or two environments. However, our current lifetimes provide the opportunity to experience many environments.
The concentration of my journey had been a reflection of the concentration of experiences which have become our lives. The development of concentrated experiences has occurred throughout all aspects of our lifetimes including employment, relationships, family and living environments.
When we are experiencing the environment which we have chosen, we live in an environment of peace. However, when it is time to understand that what we are experiencing is not who we are, we lose our peace. It is at this point that we are given an opportunity to enter one of the three doorways retained on each level of our maze of awareness.
The best way to release stress, and to prevent ourselves from accumulating experience is through love. When we consider our own lifetimes, whenever we exist within an environment of love, we do not feel stress regardless of what occurs around us. When we are filled with love there is no room to retain any other experience. If we look to our own lifetimes, we can see within our lifetimes, how the principle of being filled with love, if applied to all souls, will create a love based environment for us to exist within. The majority of souls being filled with love, is exactly how the love based environment will become our reality, and exactly how the fear based society will become a love based society.
I looked back over my own lifetime. I could trace the times when I lost my peace to the times when I was faced with the three doors. I could also trace the same pattern although on a much more concentrated basis, throughout my journey.
The following morning, I reflected on the additional pieces of the puzzle that I had now been given. None of the concepts were new and it was apparent that the pattern of putting pieces of the puzzle together to become fully aware of concepts, links, and the total awareness of our existence was continuing.
We need to allow our experiences to run their course. We need to allow ourselves to review and reflect upon our experiences and we need to allow our thoughts of our experiences to travel where they will. Each time that we reflect upon our experiences, we need to understand that it is through the review of our experiences that we understand that an experience is not who we are.
Often, the review of our experiences can be painful, and we may choose to suppress, which is to file our experiences away in our subconscious. However, the 'file' will be given to us again and again, until we review our experiences and understand that our experiences are not who we are. It is only through understanding that our experiences are not who we are, that we may truly release our past experiences.
Leaving a file in our 'pending' tray until we are ready to deal with our experiences is not negative. However, until we accept that our experiences are not who we are, we will continue to repeat the experience.
I questioned whether I should be doing more to pay my outstanding debts. Maybe I could address some of my smaller debts which would ease the pressure slightly, although resolving my smaller debts would not make a dent in my overall difficulties.
God said, "Do nothing, and do not be concerned."
I was not really concerned, but I would have liked to have done something.
"What will happen, will happen suddenly, overnight. There is still time. You will be with Katerina and your children will not lose their home."
I understood and I accepted God's assurances, but my difficulties were now starting to effect others which had not occurred throughout my journey other than by the choice of those effected by my journey. I found God's statement in respect of Katerina to be worded interestingly.
"Others have only been effected by your journey in a minute way. Katerina will be with you in Australia."
I recalled that a red herring which I had been given four weeks earlier, had been repeated throughout the previous day.
"Do not be concerned for the future."
I reflected on my experiences. I understood that it was necessary to include my own journey as a point of reference for those who sought a point of reference.
Wherever I turned, I seemed to be told to do nothing, and that a solution to my difficulties would present itself suddenly. I accepted that a solution to my difficulties would present itself. However, I had been promised a solution to my difficulties throughout my journey, and the solution to my difficulties had not been forthcoming.
At times my journey seemed to be without end, and my increasing awareness seemed endless. I knew that neither my journey nor my increasing awareness would end, until it was time for me to return to the higher plane. It was my difficulties that I wanted to end, and my difficulties would end, one way or another.
Sometimes my earth plane self believed that my higher plane self had taken everything that I'd had to give and more. Put another way, sometimes I felt that God had taken everything from me.
I did not know why I had written this observation, because I knew that God had not taken everything from me, and I did not believe that God had taken everything from me.
Many things were starting to fall into place around me. However, I had experienced things falling into place previously, only to find that my difficulties remained. All I could say for sure was that I wanted my earth plane difficulties to be over and that I knew with my soul, with the three parts of my existence, that my earth plane difficulties would be over.
I had always found solving business difficulties remarkably easy. All I had found difficult was when I was prevented from solving business difficulties. When I recalled my recent experiences within the business, easy seemed to be an understatement.
I did not know why I was making personal observations that morning and I certainly did not feel any of the personal observations that I made. However, I was making personal observations which usually meant that my personal observations were leading somewhere.
That day was a vast improvement on the previous two days and everything I did flowed within a hiccup. In the evening, I was reflective of the future. I did want my difficulties to end.
The following morning, I recommenced my review. My contact with the fabric of existence had reached a point where I was barely conscious of my contact with the fabric of existence. If I gave my contact with the fabric of existence a thought, I would feel my contact with the fabric of existence through my fingertips, but mostly contact with the fabric of existence was something that I had come to accept.
I saw the familiar pattern. I would be unaware of a concept, then through various stages I would step by step become totally aware of what I was experiencing, to finally come Full Circle and not consciously notice the concept that I was permanently experiencing, unless I specifically chose to. This circular pattern had applied to everything that I had become aware of, every concept that I had understood, and every ability that I had experienced.
I would become aware of a concept or an ability. I would 'lose' the concept or ability. I would then regain the concept or ability and the concept or ability would become highly focused, until the concept or ability was permanent. After this the concept or ability would fade from my consciousness, but whenever I gave the concept or ability a thought, I would draw upon the concept or ability naturally.
Every ability or concept that I had become aware of, was now a permanent part of who I am, ready to be drawn upon as and when needed.
I wore none of my abilities like a badge or a medal to be displayed for the world to see, and I did not talk about the concepts of which I was aware. The abilities and concepts were within me and I utilised the abilities and concepts when needed, often without consciously realising that I was using the abilities and concepts.
In many respects my abilities had come Full Circle. However, the difference was that I was now aware that my abilities existed, and how and when to use my abilities.
My abilities had always been a part of me and I had always used my abilities to some degree, without understanding that my abilities existed, let alone how to use my abilities.
I recalled that I had reflected on a number of personal issues the previous evening, again questioning if it was time to push myself in some respects. I knew better, I knew that if I needed to push myself I was not quite ready, and I knew that I could not force anything to occur. I was aware of what I needed to do which was the first step. The second step was to allow myself to do what I needed to do. I would allow myself to do what I needed to do when I was ready. If I attempted to force anything I would be unsuccessful until my 'want' and my 'will' are synchronised.
I reflected on my own lifetime, and I drew from my own experiences. There had been many times when I had forced myself to do something. Whenever my will was not ready any attempt to force what I wanted achieved a temporary result at best. There were occasions when my want had been such that I had forced myself to do something that had been hard and had remained hard unless my 'will' came into play. Whenever my 'will' came into play what I had forced myself to do, suddenly became easy.
My own experience had shown me that when I knew that I would do something, I would in fact do that something, but when I was ready and not before regardless of how hard I attempted to do that something before I was ready. I had also experienced that I would be ready to do that something as soon as my want and my will were synchronised.
'Want' comes from the lower self and 'will' comes from the higher self and as such is effectively the will of God.
I still wanted my salvation, and I still wanted to take the final step into my new world which had now developed substance. I knew and I had known that I would take the final step into my new world. I now knew that I would take the final step into my new world as soon as my will came into synchronisation with my want. Until my will came into synchronisation with my want I would not be ready to take the final step into my new world. Each time that I competed a little more of my preparation, I was closer to becoming ready to take the final step into my new world, but I would not take the final step into my new world, until I was ready to take the final step into my new world, regardless of how close to being ready to take the final step into my new world I was.
When I attended the office I was immediately given one problem after another. I addressed and solved each problem with ease. The only difficulty that I had, was that every time I attempted to leave the office I was handed another problem to solve before I could leave the office.
When I arrived home I decided to relax as I would be working from home the following day, and I could dedicate the time to my spiritual work. The unknown spirit made her presence felt to me on a number of occasions. I saw her drift across the room briefly.
I spoke with Katerina. The only barrier that we now had to being together, was financial.
I reflected on the day's events within the business. I could see that I was still taking the knowledge that I would not be involved in the business permanently into account when I made some decisions.
My sleep patterns had returned to what for me was 'normal', with a minimal amount of sleep each night. Despite not needing to attend the office the next day, I awoke early.
As I reflected on my environment that morning, it was apparent that after a brief flurry of activity I was again experiencing some delays. Despite the delays and despite the seemingly endless nature of my difficulties, I still knew that a solution to my difficulties would be provided and that I had no reason for concern.
I still did not know what the unknown spirit wanted but her presence, so soon after the departure of 'Fred' confirmed my suspicion that there had been spirits who had been blocked by Jane 2 waiting for my assistance. I said, "Spirit, the only way you will be released is to go to the light. Go to the light."
I continued to reflect upon my business environment. Tasks which had often kept me at home, or more accurately given me a reason to work at home to enable me to complete my spiritual journey, were coming to an end. Soon the tasks which had often kept me at home would be handled by computer systems. Regardless of whether I would remain with the business or leave the business, this development confirmed that my need to complete my intense spiritual journey whilst attached to the business was all but over. It seemed that I would be able to either focus on my spiritual journey, or focus on the business full time without the intense requirement to do both. At this point in time I accepted that either option could become the basis for my life. However, I was very clear about which option I preferred.
On reflection, I could also see that every time I had begun to become arrogant about my spiritual abilities throughout my journey, I had very quickly been pulled back to earth. An experience which had been repeated over and over, until my arrogance in respect of my spiritual abilities had been 'knocked out of me'.
As I continued my review, it was again evident that without a solution to my difficulties, much of my 'message' would be a nonsense. My thought was immediately followed by an opposite thought. We could be demonstrating that my message was not nonsense, even if a solution to my difficulties did not occur. My opposing thoughts highlighted the truth. I was not meant to know precisely what would occur.
I continued to reflect on all that was occurring within the business. I was attempting to balance what was occurring within the business with what I knew of my future, and what was effectively my destiny. My conclusion was that what was occurring within the business did not add up, and what was occurring within the business only began to add up if what I was currently experiencing within the business was a parting gift. Even if 'a parting gift' was the answer or a part of the answer, the inescapable conclusion was that I did not have all of the pieces.
I noted with interest that the beauty with which I saw the world had again increased. I understood that I had given myself a point of reference in respect of the beauty of the world. I had given myself a constant scene which I viewed daily and I could use to gauge the increasing beauty of the world.
I continued to reflect upon my current environment. There was not one thing within the business that 'stuck' to me. Every development and every problem which was presented to me was attended to and either passed back, or passed on. The other matter that fascinated me was the partial solution to my difficulties which had been repeated, even after I had dismissed the partial solution to my difficulties as a 'red herring'. I could see how it was possible that the partial solution to my difficulties could fit into either of the two likely directions that it appeared that my life would take. That the partial solution to my difficulties was not exactly what I wanted was irrelevant, and that the partial solution to my difficulties could not occur without an outside event or an element of luck was apparent. However, I had now been presented with the partial solution to my difficulties on a number of occasions from two different, but similar sources.
The more that I searched for the next step, the more it was apparent that I did not know what the next step would be. However, in hindsight I could see that I had noted and discounted the partial solution to my difficulties that was now being repeated, on many occasions throughout my journey.
I reflected on the previous month, it felt like a year had passed. Especially in respect of my increasing awareness.
In a repeat of what I had experienced with Jane, Nancy was experiencing difficulties. I determined that I could assist Nancy a little, but I really wanted to be able to repay what I owed her. Both Jane and Nancy had chosen to provide assistance, and I had, based on what God had told me, promised them that I would have repaid them both many months earlier. I knew that if they were affected by my journey, it was an experience that they had chosen, but I did not like my involvement in their difficult experiences one bit.
I was fascinated that my difficulties could not affect me directly, so my difficulties were now affecting me through others.
The unknown spirit remained with me, making her presence known throughout the day.
Having accepted that the partial solution to my difficulties which had been repeatedly thrown at me was a possibility, I attempted to investigate the partial solution to my difficulties further. I was unable to do so, which was exactly what had happened a few weeks earlier, and was also why I had previously discounted the partial solution to my difficulties as a 'red herring'. The result of my attempted investigation of the partial solution to my difficulties, was that I could neither discount the partial solution to my difficulties nor embrace the partial solution to my difficulties.
I certainly wanted my difficulties to be over, but even during the most difficult part of the day I retained my peace. I knew that I had nothing to worry about, which may have seemed unreasonable from the earth plane perspective, but I could not worry even when I tried.
I attempted to recommence my review, but I was unable to do so, which did not really concern me. I knew that I had placed a key within my notes which I was not ready to receive.
I was feeling a strange mixture. I was at peace. A peace alternating between inner peace and total peace. I had a sense of excitement and at the same time a sense of apprehension. I had a sense of well being, my hands permanently tingled from the fabric of existence, and I felt a light fluttering as my vibrational rate continued to adjust.
Everything that I felt was from either the spirit or higher planes. From the perspective of the earth plane I observed. I was mostly relaxed and happy with my life, despite the fact that my difficulties remained.
I did still want to make something happen, but I knew that I could not make anything happen. I knew that I needed to flow and wait for my will and my want to become synchronised.
I slept well that night, but in the morning I was not rested. I had spent most of the night on the spirit plane. What I returned from the spirit plane with was confusing with many unrelated images intertwined, so I simply accepted what I had been given and I did not attempt to understand it. If I needed to understand what I had learned, I would allow my understanding to develop.
I retained my peace and mixture of excitement and apprehension from the previous day. I had determined that I could assist Nancy enough for her to get by, and maybe a little more in a few weeks time even if my difficulties were not resolved. I had reached a point where I could not help myself, so I may as well help Nancy.
I cannot say that I enjoyed my environment, but I no longer had any 'negative' thoughts about my environment. I accepted my environment and I flowed. I was not happy with my environment, but I was happy within myself. I did not particularly like my environment, but I did not particularly dislike my environment either. I accepted my environment. No more or no less than that. Whenever I soared too far, a minor ailment would bring me back to earth.
The substance of my new world was continuing to be built from within my old world, but I was not ready to step into my new world. I knew that I was not ready to step into my new world, because I had not stepped into my new world. However, I felt that I was ready to step into my new world.
I wondered how feeling happy within myself, regardless of what was occurring within my environment, applied to a situation where a loved one died.
God explained, "A test of one's love is whether happiness that a loved one has moved on, outweighs the self pity one feels at their loss."
I felt that I would step into my new world any day, but I had felt that I would step into my new world 'any day' for a long time. I would not have been surprised if I stepped into my new world in a day, or in a year. However, I did want to step into my new world now. If I needed to wait a year before I stepped into my new world, I would wait a year before I stepped into my new world, which would increase my difficulties. I would not like to wait a year before I stepped into my new world, but I would accept that I needed to wait a year before I stepped into my new world.
I suspected that the excitement that I felt within related to the proximity of my new world, and I suspected that the apprehension that I felt within related to the fact that I accepted the possibility that I may not step into my new world.
I was attempting to understand what my dual feeling of excitement and apprehension meant. I subconsciously drew on my experiences from my journey and then from my lifetime. Excitement and apprehension were feelings that I had experienced many times, and what I experienced after feeling each or both before was varied. Sometimes something that I enjoyed had occurred, sometimes something that I did not enjoy had occurred, and sometimes nothing had occurred. The pattern parallelled the timing issue and the answer to my question was the same as the answer to my timing question. It meant nothing.
As if to highlight the point both feelings firstly intensified, and then subsided before returning to the level they had been hovering around.
I wondered if there were signs or indications of what was to come. I drew on my awareness that there are no signs, which I knew even when I looked for signs. On many occasions, I had been surrounded by signs that my difficulties were over only to have my difficulties continue.
I knew that signs mean nothing. What we receive are answers, not signs. However, it is easy to mistake an answer for a sign. When we ask for a sign to indicate which direction our path should follow, we are really seeking an answer to a specific question. By describing an answer as a sign, we confuse ourselves through mislabelling.
What would be considered a sign is too general a description. What we receive are answers to specific questions regardless of the form that they take, we do not receive signs. It is not what we receive that is in error, it is our description and interpretation.
Put simply we do not receive signs, we receive answers.
It was also apparent that I subconsciously drew on my awareness in response to every thing which I experienced. Sometimes this would be simply to apply my awareness and sometimes it would be to expand upon my awareness.
My writing continued to follow the pattern which had been apparent from the beginning of my recorded journey. I would often struggle to know what I would write in a paragraph only to find that I was still writing several pages later.
I had been watching a group of wild birds and also a few insects for some time. Occasionally I would communicate with them. However what was highlighted as I watched day after day was the individual personalities of the souls which occupied those birds and insects.
I was very much aware of aspects of the world around me and I could see wherever I looked not only that the truth of our existence surrounded us, but also that life itself confirmed my experiences. In fact I could see very clearly that the single aspect of existence which was in opposition to the reality of existence was the conscious mind.
The truth of the reality of existence is within us and surrounds us. It is everywhere except within the conscious mind. The conscious mind effectively blocks and filters the truth of our existence which is by design. It is this filtering process which allows us to exist and experience within the illusion. The conscious mind is so effective in its role that we can only see reality whether it is within or all around us by consciously choosing to do so. It is this conscious choice which is also the conscious choice to remove our conscious mind from the equation.
What we are effectively telling our conscious mind is that we no longer require its services and the very nature of our conscious mind ensures that it fights this process. By consciously accepting reality we are asking our conscious mind to discontinue doing the very thing which it is designed to do. We are asking our conscious mind to stop fulfilling its purpose.
The pattern of expanding my awareness which had been apparent throughout this book continued. In fact I could see how each book in the series had followed a pattern of its own. Each volume expanded on and clarified the awareness of the preceding book and my journey.
I again reflected on this month which felt like a year even though it was not yet complete. However it was more than just one month, it was that the previous twenty-five months felt like twenty-five years. Even this was an understatement, such was the intensity and concentration of my experiences.
I noticed some similarities from my experience with Jane 2. It was apparent that the unknown spirit was now beginning to effect my environment. I still did not know what she wanted, but I now knew her name, Susan. I said, "Susan, go to the light."
I was given a brief vision in which I 'saw' two of my non spiritual books, completed and published. One was a business based book and the other was a novel. This was the catalyst for a quick consideration of all that I knew I would do in this lifetime. I knew what I would achieve in respect of aspects of my life which had not begun.
I drew on my experiences and I saw that there were many events which I had known would occur, earth plane events which ranged from knowing I would be with my soul mate even before I recognised her, to my trips to Europe, to many other experiences. I'd had friends who had witnessed my knowing what would occur, and it was with this same knowledge, that I knew that my problems would be resolved.
The interesting factor in the timing of Nancy's difficulties was that I was finally able to consider attending to some of my minor creditors. It was apparent that the solution to my difficulties must come from an outside source regardless of which scenario would apply. Each time that I had attempted to find my own way out of my difficulties, something had occurred to prevent me from finding my own way out of my difficulties. I knew that I was meant to have my difficulties, and that I had chosen my difficulties.
The day in the office was a repeat of my recent experiences. I was handed one problem after another, which I addressed and then handed back, or passed on. My peace remained and the day flowed easily. Susan remained with me.
During the day I took a break from the business to reflect on my current situation. The fact that I had funds available for Nancy when Nancy really needed funds was a continuation of the pattern which had applied throughout my journey, and in particular when I needed to send funds to Katerina.
I would have no money, I would struggle, and I would be unable to attend to my own debts. Suddenly money would be available when money was really needed by someone else. A continuing pattern which once more highlighted that whilst my difficulties were real, my difficulties were also artificial.
I was meant to have my difficulties. From my lower self perspective I did not want my difficulties. I wanted to do something to address my difficulties, but I was blocked at every attempt I made to address my difficulties.
I had always believed, and I still believed that if I was not happy with something I should change whatever I was not happy with. I had always applied this principle to my life without knowing exactly what I was doing or why. I knew that changing something that we did not like, was not always easy. Sometimes changing something that we did not like was very difficult. I had experienced environments throughout my life when I had not been able to change what I was experiencing. My current environment was no different, albeit a little more obvious which was I suspected was a product of my awareness.
Despite that I knew that I could do nothing I continued to search my environment, looking for an option, a course of action to take, which would solve my problems. I could only think of one possible solution to my problems, which was not really a practical solution to my problems or even a solution to my problems that I could seriously contemplate, but another short term temporary solution to my problems. I could not see how the possible solution to my problems was viable or practical. Like every other possible solution to my problems, it was a partial solution at best, and even in combination with other partial solutions to my problems, it would not resolve my difficulties.
Once more I was left with the answer to do nothing. However, I did not totally discount the possible solution to my problems which I had determined that day, I put possible solution to my problems to one side, with my other potential solutions to my problems, which were not really solutions to my problems.
In a repeat of the previous night, I spent most of my time on the spirit plane. I returned with mixed images which I could not quite understand.
The following morning, I contemplated the possible solution to my problems which I had considered the previous evening, and I reached the same conclusion.
I noted with interest, that my experiences seemed to be occurring in pairs. I would experience something one day and I would repeat the experience the next day.
I reflected upon my environment within the business. I was once more the person who made things happen, which had been exactly what I was before my journey and my difficulties started. In fact, for the period of my recorded journey, whilst I could only do enough to maintain my employment, nothing had really happened within the business. The business had drifted, and in many ways I was literally 'picking up where I had left off'.
When I viewed the aspects of my environment collectively, I was left with the conclusion that I was not meant to know what was going to happen next.
When I considered my position within the business, I had to ask myself if my journey had simply been to keep me going whilst I recovered from the stress and was able to drive the business once more. From an earth plane perspective, this was exactly what had occurred.
When I added my 'spiritual' experiences to the equation the scenario was very obviously flawed. The reality was that I was still searching for something to do, certainly not in a desperate way, but I was searching nonetheless. In many ways I was eliminating all of the 'somethings' that I could do, and I was left with what I had been told that I should do, nothing because there was nothing that I could do.
I considered seeking clarification from Sue, but I decided to put this option on 'hold'. If I was meant to seek clarification from Sue, I would seek clarification from Sue. A message which Sue had previously passed on was once again placed in my mind; 'God has not let you down before.'
If my journey had been to allow me to recover from my stress, my journey could have concluded a long time ago, and without the need to incur financial difficulties beyond my capability of sustaining. Without a solution to my difficulties, I would become a bankrupt, my children would lose their home, I would lose what remained of my possessions, and I would have no choice but to walk away from Katerina. If my journey had been to allow me to recover from stress, my current situation would not achieve that end.
Jesus said, "Do nothing, and have faith in God."
Having eliminated every other possibility, I could not argue with Jesus' advice. I had eliminated every other possibility and I had established, even from an earth plane perspective, that there was no solution to my difficulties without intervention from the very fabric of existence. If there was another solution to my difficulties I could not see it, and I had certainly looked.
There was no key within my old environment which would unlock the gateway to my new world. I could not reach my new environment, that of a spiritual writer and teacher. I had attempted to reach my new environment on a number of occasions without success. My new environment would be a product of my new world, and not the key to my new world.
I understood what I had learned on the spirit plane. I was looking to make something happen, but despite my efforts I could not make something happen.
I was left standing in front of the gateway to my new world, waiting for the key which would unlock the door and allow me to step into my new world. I had not been able to find the key which would unlock the door and allow me to step into my new world, so all that I could do was wait for the key which would unlock the door and allow me to step into my new world, to be handed to me. Whilst I was waiting I was applying and increasing my awareness, which was building upon the substance of my new world.
That morning, I felt that everything was ready within my new world except me.
I knew that the solution to my difficulties would be the key to my new world. I knew that I did not have the key to my new world. The key to my new world would be provided from the very fabric of existence. The key to my new world would be in the form of a catalyst, an outside event, or an element of luck. God the drop, could not provide the key to my new world. This key to my new world would have to come from God the ocean.
There was nothing for me to do and nowhere for me to go. I could do nothing other than wait patiently for the key to my new world. There was no more path for me to follow on this side of the gateway to my new world to my new world, the path continued on the other side of the gateway to my new world.
The gateway to my new world was the only way to reach my new world. The gateway to my new world was the solitary entrance to my new world, which I knew because I had searched in vain for another way to enter my new world.
I stared at the pieces of the puzzle in front of me, which effectively made up the door to my new world. The pieces of the puzzle did not all fit, there were pieces of the puzzle missing, pieces of the puzzle that I could not find, and pieces of the puzzle that I would have to be given.
I noted with interest that even throughout my search for the key to my new world, my difficulties had not overwhelmed me and I had not lost my peace. In many respects I had become an interested observer of my own life.
I questioned whether my search for the key to my new world was an attempt to justify to myself why I was doing nothing to resolve my difficulties. However, I was searching for an alternate solution to resolve my difficulties, because a part of me, my lower self, was not comfortable with the fact that an external, effectively financial solution could be provided, despite having experienced the principle on many occasions during this lifetime.
When I recognised my lower self's concerns, I immediately recognised why my lower self's concerns existed. Control. My lower self wanted to maintain control over my life. If a solution to my difficulties was found within my environment, my lower self would be in control.
My lower self had no control of my life, and ironically my lower self could not take control of my life without a solution to my difficulties presenting itself.
I attended the office and spent the first part of the day discussing computer problems. A solution to computer problems the was apparent, and could be operational within six weeks. I mentioned a distribution concept I'd had that required significant expertise, which the company did not possess and could not afford to buy. The technology specialists I was meeting with had coincidentally been working on the same concept, but lacked the expertise that the company could provide. Within twenty minutes we'd reached agreement to form a joint venture company.
In the previous week I had met with three product suppliers who had recently appointed managers to develop alternate distribution networks for their products. In the space of twenty minutes I now had the ability to provide two electronic distribution networks. Potentially, this was the biggest business negotiation I had ever completed and I had reached agreement in just twenty minutes. I was staggered by the potential, but the opportunity did not stop at this point.
I had withdrawn from any financial involvement in the business when I had suffered from stress. After I had explained the joint venture to my former business partner, which was in addition to all of the new contracts I was in the process of negotiating, my former business partner offered me a share of the company. A share of the company was not what I wanted, but a share of the company did open the door and some interesting possibilities.
Late that afternoon, I had a chance meeting with a financier who in less than ten minutes agreed to provide our customers through the new distribution network an alternate payment method. The joint venture partners of just four hours were delighted with this development. In fact, the development doubled or perhaps tripled the potential of the opportunity. I was staggered. This development within the business had been totally unexpected.
Despite the potential of the opportunity developing the business was not what I wanted to do. Nevertheless, and regardless of what I wanted, I was excited about the prospect of what I could achieve.
That evening, the spirit Susan was hovering around me.
The developments within the business did not in themselves solve my difficulties, but the developments within the business did point the way to a likely key which would open the door to my new world. I would know within a few days.
When I considered how the developments within the business could fit into my future path, I could see how my problems would be solved and ongoing support provided whilst I completed my writing. The prospect was not ideal, but I had experienced that I could do two 'jobs'. It was significant to note that both of my 'jobs' were now flowing remarkably easily, which was especially notable in respect of the business where I attended the office addressed the issues of the day and went home. As my advice was listened to, so my job became easier.
This solution to my difficulties, if it was the solution to my difficulties, contained all of the concepts I had known the solution to my difficulties would contain, an outside event, an element of luck, and a catalyst.
I had to admit that the developments within the business which had all occurred after I had accepted that I could do nothing to help the business had taken me by surprise. In fact, the apparent solution to my difficulties had been completely unexpected, even if I had not totally discounted the apparent solution to my difficulties.
God said, "I told you that you would be surprised. If I had not pushed you away from the solution to your difficulties you would have looked for the solution to your difficulties. You had to allow the solution to your difficulties to come and so you needed to look in another direction. I told you that there was no reason to be concerned."
I had not actually received the key to my new world, and although the pieces of the puzzle which formed the gateway to my new world were falling into place, I was not going to embrace the developments within the business, at this point.
I found my spiritual centre in my mind, information which had seemed to conflict previously now seemed to fit very nicely together. I knew the name of the spiritual centre, and I knew the geographic location of the spiritual centre. My confusion had come from my attempt to put the pieces of my spiritual centre together, before I'd had all of the pieces.
At that moment in time, my clarity was startling. I would remain with the business whilst the business was restructured and focused. Effectively saving the business as I had requested. During this time I would begin to finalise my new world as I finalised my writing. I would then walk away from the business, and establish my spiritual centre.
In the meantime, I would receive a period of rest from my journey as I would be completing what I had started. My experiences would be ones of clarification and review. In short, the pressure and the intensity would be off.
That night, my aura broke free of some of the remaining 'scum', my contact with the fabric of existence grew, and my heart chakra expanded.
As my clarity increased many questions were answered, but many of the answers were effectively 'probable answers'. I needed one more earth plane event to confirm the 'probable answers'. If the earth plane event occurred, it would increase my level of surprise, and a few unanswered questions would remain, but they would soon be answered.
I began to feel that I should rush some of the work that I had to do.
God said, "Brian, there is no rush."
I noted with interest that what it appeared likely would occur, I had determined that I could not do. I may have subsequently accepted that I could balance managing the business, my spiritual journey, and bringing Katerina into my world, but it now seemed that I would in fact, experience managing the business, my spiritual journey, and bringing Katerina into my world.
I reviewed, I meditated, and I prepared to reach for the key to my new world, if I was in fact being presented with the key to my new world.
Without reason my wrists itched from where I had been bound to the cross. Immediately I wrote the words 'without reason' I knew that there was in fact a reason why my wrists itched from where I had been bound to the cross. I was finally releasing myself from the self inflicted punishment which had started from my crucifixion.
As I reflected on the developments of that day, I was reminded of what I had been repeatedly told. 'It will happen suddenly. I will go to sleep in my old world and wake up in my new world.' The developments of that day had certainly happened suddenly.
I reflected that God had been very right in what God had said that night. If I had known that the solution to my difficulties would come from within the business, if that was what was to occur, I would have searched and attempted to make the solution to my difficulties happen.
The following morning, I was a little tired from lack of sleep. I maintained my peace and my sense of well being, but I was too tired to maintain my excitement.
I was prepared to reach for the key which would unlock the door to my new world, but it was only as the day progressed that I would know for sure if I was able to reach for the key to my new world, and it was only by reaching for the key to my new world, that I would know if what I saw was the key to my new world.
The puzzle which was the door to my new world may have been falling into place, but there were still conflicts contained within individual pieces of the puzzle.
God said, "Have faith."
Faith was not the problem in that I had faith in respect of my difficulties being resolved, but I retained my flexibility in respect of how my difficulties would be resolved. I believed that regardless of how my difficulties were resolved I would remain with the business, until what I had commenced the previous day, had been completed.
Many aspects of this book had been a refresher course as my awareness increased and was fine tuned. I recalled several incidents which had occurred a few days earlier and focused upon my ability to look into another's soul.
I had experienced a range of applications of my ability to look into another's soul in quick succession. I experienced how some people were very open and a quick glance into their eyes allowed me to look into their souls. Other people had what amounted to a shield preventing others from seeing into their souls. However, I had also experienced that I could penetrate the shield if I took a little time to look passed the shield. In fact, I had not encountered a soul, in any physical form, who I could not see passed their shield and into their soul if I so chose. I seldom chose to look into people's souls, using my ability to look into souls only when my ability to look into souls was required.
That morning, I knew the title of my book which would bring all of the analogies I had been given together as a collection of complete stories; Analogies Of Reality.
I saw that my next step, the first step into my new world would be one of review, consolidation, and completion. The pieces of the puzzle which formed the door, or the gateway into my new world were continuing to fall into place.
I would continue to fine tune my awareness. My new world would have been created from within my average, everyday environment which had been the point of my example.
I reflected that if I had known that I would achieve all that I had achieved, effectively from within my environment which existed when I began my journey, I would neither have believed it nor would I have commenced my journey. In all probability I would have given up on this lifetime. I had been close to giving up on this lifetime anyway.
I did not receive the key to new world that day. In fact, I did not even get the opportunity to reach for the key to new world.
In a continuation of my days effectively occurring in pairs, that day was a repeat of the previous day. In view of what had occurred the previous day, I would not have believed that a repeat of the previous day's events would have been possible.
I had a meeting to discuss an ongoing joint marketing exercise. What I learned was that the business associate was in the process of launching a distribution network of their own. Aspects of their network would overlap with aspects of our network placing us in competition.
By the end of the meeting we had agreed to supply products which would be marketed under their brand, increasing our market penetration with alternate brands, which would also increase our buying power with suppliers.
If the key to new world was to be provided as it appeared that the key to new world would be provided, which was contrary to what I had been told on a number of occasions, I would need to wait for two days before I could take the next step.
I spoke with Jane that afternoon. Jane's difficulties remained, but they were not as intense as they had been. Jane was looking at a premises for a shop, and the circumstances seemed to fit into what I had described for Jane a year earlier. Jane asked if it was the shop that she would buy, but I had no answer for her. I explained to Jane that if I had an answer I would allow the answer to surface, and then I would contact her.
The spirit Susan had not been with me that day. Late in the night I saw Evelyn's crystals floating above me.
The next morning, I reflected on the events of the previous few days. I believed that regardless of what occurred I would remain with the business, until the new venture was finalised, which could take a little time. However, I knew I was the one who would make the opportunities presented to the business, a reality.
That I was the one who would make the opportunities presented to the business, a reality, was not based on ego. I knew from experience that I had a unique ability to make things happen. Whenever I was involved things happened and whenever I was not involved, things drifted. This was not a new development in itself. The experience had been repeated throughout my business life. It was my ability to make things happen, which had enabled me to be successful throughout my business life.
The joint venture would change the way the industry, or parts of the industry conducted business, which was not daunting because I had changed the way the industry conducted business previously. Concepts that I had developed and believed in, despite being told that my concepts would not work by all those who were around me, had worked to the extent that the industry adopted or attempted to adopt my concepts.
In respect of the guidance which Jane had requested, the reason that I did not have guidance was that I was blocking any answer to Jane's question. I was still daunted by the implications of providing such direct advice. 'It was more appropriate to Jane that she trusted her own instinct not mine.' When I first wrote this sentence, I had thought that it was an observation, but as soon as I wrote it, I knew that my words were in fact the guidance which Jane had requested. I had received the guidance for Jane as soon as I understood why I was blocking the guidance for Jane.
I had accepted responsibility for a medium term project within the business, despite that on a number of occasions during the previous two years I had avoided accepting responsibility for medium term projects within the business, in the belief that I would not be available to see the projects completed. However, I remained attached to the business and the projects which I had previously avoided remained incomplete.
God said, "If you had accepted responsibility for the projects which you have avoided, the projects would have been completed."
I knew exactly what God meant. It was the fact that the other projects had not been completed which had ensured that the company needed to retain my services and that I would have an excuse to 'work' from home, allowing me to maintain an income during my spiritual journey. Not for the first time, I had viewed events in reverse. I had believed that I was unable to commit to the projects because I would not be there to complete the projects. However, the reality was that I could not commit to the projects because I needed to remain attached to the business, not because I needed to leave the business.
I reflected on the times when I had foreseen that the business would fail. It now seemed apparent that the business would not fail. On the contrary the business would go from strength to strength.
God said, "If you remove yourself from the equation what you foresaw would have occurred. It was you who asked to save the business and you have saved the business. Despite what you foresaw and what you asked, what has occurred is exactly what was always going to occur. What has occurred was and is an important part of the example.
"Consider the timing of what has occurred from a perspective of your own awareness. What has occurred, only occurred after you discontinued making the business artificially important or artificially unimportant. This is a very significant aspect of the example. This principle, which was explained to you at the beginning of your journey, has applied to all aspects of your journey if you choose to review all that has occurred. 'It is not possessions in themselves which are the issue, it is the level of importance we place upon them.'
"Consider a time when you referred to a specific event and you told others, 'When this event is no longer important to me, the event will occur.' did this not happen? However, before the event occurred, the event had been artificially important to you and then artificially unimportant to you. The event occurred when the event was of no importance to you, which is precisely what has now occurred within the business.
"Importance is the point we are making. Souls need to experience that no importance should be placed on any artificial aspect of their lives. Importance is being placed on something, even if that something is made artificially unimportant. You have made things, or attempted to make things firstly artificially important and then, experiencing the other side of the coin, artificially unimportant. It was only when you removed the artificial factor and accepted that something was neither important nor unimportant that you allowed that something to occur.
"To place no importance on something is your choice, and the choice to place no importance on something applies to the experiences of all. As with all concepts and principles that you have experienced within your recorded journey, the principle of no importance was concentrated firstly one way and then the other, which has been necessary to provide the example, and is also why you are the example."
I immediately reacted, concerned that perhaps I was placing too much importance on removing my financial difficulties, finding a home, and being with my wife.
God said, "Do not be concerned. A comfortable existence with your wife is what you want, but you have not placed artificial importance upon what you want. You want a comfortable existence with your wife, because a comfortable existence with your wife is what you want to experience, but you have accepted that if what you want does not occur your world will not end, your journey will continue. When one places artificial importance on something they are effectively saying; 'if I do not have this I cannot continue'. When one is placing artificial unimportance on something they are saying; 'if this occurs I cannot continue'. You no longer apply artificial importance of either type on your environment.
"Wanting something is necessary as I have explained, but wanting something is very different from placing artificial importance on something although the two are often combined.
"Artificial importance will often confuse want. You yourself have experienced on a number of occasions that you did not really want something that you wanted with a desperation. It is desperate wanting which is artificial. Desperate wanting is not for what we really want. Desperate wanting is a product of the artificial importance that we place upon something.
"The concept of desperate wanting is particularly noticeable in respect of relationships. When a relationship ends one party will often believe, truly believe that they cannot go on without the other and as such they have placed an artificial level of importance on that person. It is artificial importance which leads to a desperate wanting. Often, if they are able to recommence the relationship, they learn that the relationship is not what they wanted. Many will be able to use this example as a point of reference.
"You are correct in that there is one aspect of your existence where your level of importance is artificial. This is in respect of your responsibilities to others such as your partners and your friends. However, you need experienced both sides of this coin with the pendulum swinging one way and then the other on many occasions. You are now aware of the experience and since we have begun talking this morning, you have been applying yours awareness to your environment. Have no concern about the artificial importance you place upon your responsibilities to others. As your experience has shown you, now that you are aware you will apply your awareness to your actions."
I had been concerned for Nancy so I decided to take advantage of my dialogue with God to receive clarification in respect of Nancy.
God said, "Have no concern. Nancy is following her path. Events in Nancy's life are confirming that it is time for Nancy to move on, which is exactly what we have told Nancy previously.
I replied, "Yes and Nancy accepts that it is time to move on, but she does not have sufficient resources to do, what she has been told to do."
"There is more than one component to this answer. Firstly, Nancy does have sufficient resources to do, what she has been told to do, if she chooses to walk away from her possessions and her responsibilities, but Nancy cannot walk away from her possessions and her responsibilities because Nancy has chosen not to walk away from her possessions and her responsibilities. However, the choice to walk away from her possessions and her responsibilities was open to her. Secondly, Nancy will have sufficient resources to follow her path, but not an excess of resources. When the resources are made available, Nancy will move on, and this will happen quickly.
"In fact, we can even provide some basic detail of what will occur. Nancy will place her possessions in storage and return home. Employment and housing will become available, and the timing will be such that everything will fall into place. The geographical location will be such that Nancy will be able to pursue the path to her own awareness, whilst developing her abilities as a crystal healer. As you passed on to Nancy some time ago, she will be away from Australia for five years. Whilst Nancy is away she will send for the possessions that she needs, leaving others in storage for her return. Nancy's employment during this time will adequately support her journey. Nancy will reunite with a soul from her Indian lifetime as both you and Sue have told her will occur.
"However, before Nancy reunites with a soul from her Indian lifetime, Nancy will draw on your example and her own awareness. Your example will provide Nancy with a point of reference for what she is experiencing, and will experience. You yourself see this now, but you know better than to interfere with Nancy's journey. During this time you will remain in contact with Nancy, but it is time for you to part. The parting is necessary for Nancy's journey and for your journey. You will remain in contact with each other, and the parting will be easy because you have both accepted the need to part company. Without the acceptance, the parting would have been difficult.
"Nancy will re-enter your life, joining you at the spiritual centre as you have both known would occur. Your paths have crossed and parted many times during your existence as you both know. It is your awareness that will make the parting easy this time. You know that your parting has been difficult on many occasions during your existence. This difficult parting has mostly been due to your death, which has been convenient for both of your experiences, as you well know. That your paths continue to cross is because you are connected, as you also know.
"Telling Nancy these things will no more interfere with Nancy's path than telling you that you would be an example and write your story, influenced your path. In fact, if passing on this advice was not part of what Nancy had chosen to experience, this advice would not be provided. It is also important that Nancy draw on your example, and not make assumptions as to what will occur, or attempt to make her assumptions occur. Nancy must allow all to occur."
What I found most interesting about the message which I was being given for Nancy, is that whilst I was receiving the message for Nancy, she was in fact consulting with Sue.
"Do you believe that this is an accident?"
Mostly this message coincided with what I had been given for Nancy on a number of occasions, but there were one or two aspects of the message for Nancy which seemed a little contradictory.
"I have not said that Nancy will go directly home, or that Nancy would not go home the long way effectively having a holiday on the way. Nor have I said that by meeting her responsibilities, Nancy will repay her creditors in total. What is to prevent Nancy from making her debts manageable? Why would you assume that credit provided by a company which is based in her home country, could not be maintained in that country?"
I was always a little taken aback when God spoke of such mundane, earth plane matters.
"Do you think that God, the fabric of existence is aware of all things except credit cards, mortgages, lines of credit and the like? Do your own experiences not confirm that such developments on the earth plane have been conveniently useful in allowing souls to experience? Do you think that anything is too mundane for God?"
Not for the first time I felt put in my place, but I was not finished with the message for Nancy.
"If the debts were made manageable, do you think that Nancy could not maintain a minimal level of repayment even prior to her finding employment? Do you think that Nancy would need a fortune to live for a month or two whilst she rested between jobs, if it was a month or two? Do you think Nancy could not stay with her parents whilst she located employment and housing of her own? Do you think that Nancy would have no reason to spend a little time with her parents in their twilight years after being away from home for most of her life?
"I am not specifically saying what will occur or what will not occur, I am citing the example to open up more than one possibility of what Nancy may experience."
In between talking with God that morning, I was given pieces of the puzzle in respect of the developments within the business. The new distribution network was forming at a surprising rate.
I looked up from my notes, the beauty of the world had again increased.
I considered the overall position on the business. I had been drawn back into the business, I was effectively in control of the business, the new developments would keep me involved within the business, but I would leave the business. The words 'a parting gift' had been repeatedly given to me.
God said, "I do not recall a time limit being placed on the term 'a parting gift'.
"You know generally what is to occur. You know that your difficulties will be resolved and that you will take the remaining steps into your new world. You do not know precisely where you will receive the key to your new world and I cannot tell you. You will deliver 'your gift' whilst you finalise your writing. You will move on, your books will be published and you will create your spiritual centre. Do not be concerned, allow everything to happen."
When Nancy returned from her consultation with Sue, Nancy reported that Sue did not receive answers to Nancy's main questions, which did not surprise me, because I was receiving the answers to Nancy's main questions.
It seemed that what I received filled in the gaps in what Sue had told Nancy, and also clarified some points. Sue had also given Nancy two messages for me, which I noted.
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