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Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny

Asking The Masters For Help


I started to go to the beach, it was very dark, which should not have bothered me. I had walked for miles on secluded beaches previously in the middle of the night, and in the early hours of the morning.

That night, I was overcome by fear. I felt a dark presence, which was very powerful.

God said, "Do not go there."

Instead of going to the beach, I sat on the balcony of the unit which I was staying in. I wondered what was going on. I strongly felt the presence of spirits all around me, as if the spirits were protecting me.

I knew that my old friend Jesus would come. I sat quietly and waited for Jesus. Jesus appeared. He was not alone. The Native American was with him. I watched them for awhile without saying anything.

I sat and waited. Jesus spoke, "What troubles you, friend?"

I replied, "I do not know."

Jesus was silent for awhile and then said, "Relax, make a coffee and get some water. Return to this place, we shall talk."


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When the masters had arrived, I felt my neck pain ease, albeit only a slight easing. As I was making my coffee, I began to wonder how such a meeting with masters could be real, surely meeting with masters was a product of my imagination. When I returned Jesus said, "Relax, sit quietly."

The Native American had said nothing. I reviewed the events of the previous evening once more. I reflected that I had 'known' that Katerina's letters would be translated, and that I would not receive my news.

I considered what the translator had said about his account. Normally he had asked for payment straight away. This time he had suggested we attend to payment of his fee later. A coincidence, considering my finances?

I felt my neck pain easing very slightly once more, but my neck pain was definitely easing. I walked to the end of the balcony and stood quietly.

Moses appeared and said, "Remember the promise which God made to all through me." Then Moses left again.

Jesus said, "Look deep. Do you not recall my despair when I had reached the summit and had prepared for the final step?"

The Native American said, "Do you not recall my despair, when our village was destroyed."


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The Dark Warrior stood in the corner watching me with his arms folded. I had not seen the Dark Warrior arrive. He was just there.

My neck pain eased a little more.

Jesus said, "Consider all that has happened. You could not have invented your experiences."

The Dark Warrior spoke, "Again you relied upon signs, even after your previous experience."

Moses reappeared. He stood at the end of the balcony watching me. I was looking deeply within my soul.

The Native American's name when I knew him was Sitting Crow. He had once been known as a spirit called White Eagle. The Dark Warrior wore only a loincloth. He was tall, around six feet six with a very powerful build. I knew his name, but I could not recall it. Hansa, I had known him as Hansa.

Sitting Crow said, "Too much has happened for any of your experiences not to have happened."

I was becoming very tired, but my neck pain was continuing to ease. Hansa said, "Rest now, we will return."

The four masters turned and walked away.


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I slept, and the next morning my neck pain was gone. I was at peace. Although I was not quite back in phase. Jesus appeared.

Jesus asked, "What is wrong?"

I answered, "I am still not sure that I get the point."

Jesus said, "What you want is not relevant. What is so, is so and nothing can make what is so not so. Relax and allow yourself to become one with yourself."

Communication was difficult, because I was still out of phase. I asked, "Why did I slip out of phase?"

Jesus replied, "Because you chose the experience."

I asked, "What did I choose?"

Jesus replied, "To feel forsaken at the last minute, prior to taking the last step."

I asked, "Why?"

Jesus replied, "It was your last opportunity to experience feeling forsaken. If you recall, I made the same choice."

Moses and Sitting Crow appeared and said in unison, "As did we."

I asked, "How do I get back in phase?"

Jesus said, "Allow yourself to move back into phase."

I said, "So the point of the exercise is that I should want nothing for myself, or any other?"

Moses said, "No, you are looking in the mirror once more. Look from the mirror. It has been promised that you will want nothing. That you will want nothing, is God's promise, not your promise or anyone else's promise. You continue to focus on what you must do, but you must do nothing, other than allow the promise to be."

I said, "So what you are saying is that I have allowed this whole situation to develop so that I would reach a point to feel forsaken?"

Moses said, "Yes, most choose to reach a point to feel forsaken, so that feeling forsaken can be experienced. When you take the next step, you will reach the summit, and you will no longer be able to experience feeling forsaken."


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This advice from Moses may have been encouraging, and the advice from Moses may have been what I needed to hear. However, I would certainly feel forsaken again, before my journey was complete.

Jesus spoke again, "You focus on overcoming things, but you do not have to overcome anything. Flow with all, gain the experience, feel what is happening and apply what you know. There is no overcome, just let what is to be, flow. You continue to worry about the how and the when. Yet you know what will be. Do you not see that by allowing yourself to know what and when but not how, you are experiencing the difficulties of knowing what is to be, so that you will understand and apply the experience.

"Consider what you know. Everything is as it is meant to be. Again you have experienced that you should not give yourself signs to look for, you must allow what is to be. That is all. Did you not know that you would be taken to the brink, and at the last minute everything would sort itself out? Can you not see how your worries increased, and then your commitment to Katerina was introduced to push you to this point, because of what you chose to experience? Everything is, exactly as everything is meant to be."

I could feel myself slowly moving back into phase.


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Jesus continued, "Much pressure would have been relieved by taking the money which was offered. You did not take the money which was offered, because taking the money which was offered would have affected your experience. An experience which you had chosen. If you were not taken to the brink, before everything fell into place as you have created, how would others know that they too, have no reason to be concerned."

"Do you think that it is by accident that you are now away from your home, and out of contact for a few days? Four days when you have no way of knowing what is occurring in your world? Four days to relax and allow everything to be. Did you not witness what happened in my life after I arose from what was considered my death? Do you not recall that I continued to do my work, in peace? How I travelled and how happy I became with my second wife? You were in spirit, but you stayed with me.

"You are continually trying to live up to the promise which God has made to all, but you are wasting your time. You have not made the promise, you are the recipient of the promise. Do not forget that you are the recipient of the promise. All that you need to do is allow everything to be. No hardship, no difficulty has come to others in respect of their earth plane illusion. You know this, it will not change."

I asked, "What about Nancy? Or what if Rose or Katerina have chosen to suffer?"

Jesus replied, "You know what each has chosen. Nancy has chosen to experience what Nancy has experienced, Nancy has made the choice to break her circle. You know that Nancy has made the choice to break her circle, because you need to know Nancy has made the choice to break her circle. Rose has chosen to experience self-anger, and Rose is being given an opportunity to release herself from self-anger. You know what Rose's chosen experience is, and you will know Rose's choice in time. Anne chose to return to the light, from the dark path. Anne is being given her opportunity to return to the light, from the dark path now. Katerina has chosen to have her dreams come true, and Katerina has chosen to reunite with her soulmate. Consider Katerina's circumstances, Katerina chose to be born in the circumstances in which she was born, to fully experience what is going to happen. Katerina chose her time and date of birth, to be the water to your earth. Look at the others. Nancy chose a life of broken relationships. Anne chose a life of darkness, on the edge. Rose chose a life to bring her anger. All so that they could fully experience, what they have chosen to experience, and what they now experience.


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"Do you not see that an extreme experience in one direction, will heighten the experience in the opposite direction? One experience must be really felt, before the opposite experience can be really felt. This principle applies to you. You have experienced the loss of all things in your life, you have experienced much despair and unhappiness, you have experienced feeling that you would never know happiness. You have experienced despair so great, that you believed that your despair would overcome you. You now experience financial strain, which you fear will overcome you.

"Do you not see that you are experiencing not allowing events to overcome you, because you did allow events to overcome you, in previous lifetimes? Do you not see that your experiences have never overcome you in this lifetime. The worse you feared did not happen. The worse you fear will not happen now. The worse you feared would not have happened in your previous lifetimes, but that you chose to experience the worse you feared. You have chosen not to experience the worse you fear in this lifetime.

"Is what is occurring now any different, to what you knew would occur? You are now concerned that the commitment which you have made to Katerina, was only to gain experience that you should not make such commitment. It is not. Consider that you have not only experienced making commitments which caused you to compromise yourself, you have also experienced not making commitments, and you have experienced making commitments without compromising yourself. You were told not to make a commitment without seeking the source, so you would know that your commitment came from the source.

"There have been times when the source has led you to experience things, but when the source has led you to experience things, you have known that the source was leading you to experience something, have you not? Search your soul now. Within your soul is where you will find the answers."


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I felt that I was not connected to my soul, I was still out of phase.

Jesus said, "Allow yourself to come back into phase."

I reflected for awhile. I closed my eyes and I allowed the colours to wash over me. Evelyn was there. Evelyn's crystals reflected the light as Evelyn danced before me, giving me a welcome taste of flashes of dazzling light.

Jesus asked, "What has changed in the last day?"

I said, "Nothing really, except that I am out of phase."

Jesus replied, "Exactly, you are at peace when you are in phase, as you call it."

I said, "Yes, and I experience no concern, and no worry other than when I slip out of phase."

Jesus said, "Yes, now do you understand God's promise?"

I answered, "Yes."

I thought about what had been said. I asked, "So understanding God's promise has been the purpose of this experience?"

Jesus replied, "Yes."


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I remained out of phase throughout the day. I was not necessarily attempting to get back into phase, I was allowing everything to be, as everything was.

God spoke, "Everything is, as everything is meant to be."

I asked, "Even when I am out of phase, everything is as everything is meant to be?"


I sat on the balcony soaking in the beauty of the place. I looked across the area. I saw every shade, every change of colour just as I had on the island. I did not feel concerned that everything would not work out. I was concerned, but I did not know what I was concerned about.

"Search your soul."

I considered once more the situation with Katerina. I did not feel the desperation that we needed to be together, which I had felt with Marie. I knew that we would be together. I considered my financial situation. Although my financial situation did produce the occasional twinge of concern, I knew that everything would work out.

The only thing which was really causing me concern was the timing. If everything was to come together, everything really needed to come together now, or very soon. However, I could not see everything coming together from within my existing world, and within my existing circumstances.


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I was concerned that I would worry about my financial difficulties all weekend, and that I would return home on Monday, either worried or desperately hopeful. I did not know how to control what I was feeling.

God said, "Do not try to control what you are feeling, allow everything to be as everything is, experience whatever happens, and experience the result. All that you need to do is experience everything as everything is. Whatever you experience now, will not affect what is to come."

I could feel myself coming back into phase.

"Let it happen."


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