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Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny

Q & A IX


"What causes us to worry?"

"Fear. You worry because you fear the worst. Much unpleasant experience has been brought about by worry, as you know from your own experience. You also know that no difficulty, and no punishment can be as effective as self imposed worry. Worry can almost rip someone in two. Worry is unnecessary, but worry is also a powerful tool of experience. Worry allows experience to be felt, as do emotions. Worry is not a bad thing, and worrying is not wrong. Worrying is however unnecessary. Experience is experience. Experience does not have to be felt deeply. Worry is one of the tools used when a choice is made to feel an experience deeply."

"You once said that pure love is enough, but what about experience?"

"Pure love is enough. Pure love cannot be achieved without experience. Only pure love is needed to find your way home, and then awareness will come. However, most will not find pure love without first becoming aware. It is a far easier path to find pure love prior to awareness, but it is a path which is not travelled frequently."

"How do we find our soulmate?"

"As you know, you do not find your soulmate. When you are ready you attract your soulmate. You effectively send a signal into the universe which only your soulmate is attuned to, and your soulmate responds. Through this process, the two parts of your higher self direct events, to allow you to 'stumble across' each other."

"What is the key to sending this signal?"

"You must first become aware of who you are. It is through applying the awareness of who you are, that the signal is sent."


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"Why is solitude necessary to become aware of who we are?"

"How can you become aware of who you are, when you are confused by trying to be who someone else wants you to be, or more appropriately trying to be who you think someone else wants you to be? To even begin to understand who you are, you must first remove the distraction of attempting to be what you think others want you to be, and that means you must spend time in solitude."

"If we look at the other side of the coin, much resentment and bitterness is caused through relationships."

"All relationships are concentrated environments, designed for experience. Relationships are that simple. For anything to be experienced, it must be felt. Experience is choice, resentment and bitterness are choices. If someone chooses to experience resentment and bitterness, the experience is still choice. They experience resentment and bitterness, and they feel resentment and bitterness more so than the person towards whom the resentment and bitterness is directed, who often does not feel resentment and bitterness at all."

"Pure love, that is responding to all things with pure love, is the easy path, but at times you have referred to pure love as hard."

"It is a matter of perspective. For those who exist within the illusion of the earth plane pure love is extremely hard. If we say pure love is easy, who would believe? Has the simple truth of pure love not been told by many, many teachers? We need to show that pure love is indeed the easy way."


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"How do we know who we are?"

"You learn who you are by learning who you are not. It is a simple process of elimination. By experiencing who you are not, you are eventually left, with who you are."

"So, who are we at any given point in time?"

"At any given point in time, all are the sum of who they are plus what they are yet to experience they are not. By reversing the equation all are left with the same answer, who they are."

"Okay if I am really ten, but have not had much experience I might see myself as 100, right?"

"Yes, in effect that is correct. As you experience lifetime after lifetime you start to discover who you are not. For example you have killed someone and experienced that even so you are not a killer. So a killer is not who you are and so on. If you were to review after a dozen lifetimes you might see yourself as 98, not 100. You are unaware that you are really 10 plus 88."

"On this scale, where do I see myself?"

"As 10 plus 2, not 12. You know that you are 10 plus 2, but you are not yet aware of which part is the 10 and which part is the 2."

"I take it that a master would see themselves as a 10."

"Yes, this is so."


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"From what you said previously, it seems this process of elimination is not necessary, if pure love is embraced."

"Of course not. Pure love is what every soul is. If a soul truly accepts that they are pure love and only pure love, what is there to discard? Accepting pure love is not easy. Accepting pure love without understanding the truth is rare. Therefore, souls come to pure love through a process of elimination."

"So if a soul decides to accept pure love much experience is not necessary?"

"That is so. The problem is, that at best, a soul will accept the principle of pure love, and attempt to live the principle of pure love, which is a start, but it is not enough. A soul must become pure love. Mostly, the only way for a soul must become pure love is to eliminate everything else, and so the need for experience is born."

"We have a conflicting issue of how we treat our bodies to clarify."

"Yes, we do. As I have said, how the body is treated is unimportant in that all is experience. If someone chooses to smoke cigarettes, and chooses to end their lifetime suffering from cancer, that is their choice. If someone chooses to become an alcoholic and destroy their lifetime by alcoholism, that is their choice. All is experience. There is no right or wrong."


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"You seem to imply that we should not smoke cigarettes, or drink alcohol, or do whatever will harm our bodies."

"I am not implying anything. You do not need to smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol. You would experience a better quality of life by living a healthier lifestyle, and not putting things into your body which will harm your body. I am not saying that you must live a healthier lifestyle to find God, you know that you can smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, and not have a balanced diet and still find God, do you not?"

"So if I understand correctly, you are saying that it is better to live what we call a healthy lifestyle, but not essential?"

"Effectively yes. You have enough problems on the earth plane with those who live what you call a healthy lifestyle being holier than thou. All is experience. If I were to say that to find God you must not drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, I would not be telling the truth. If it was that drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes, prevented you from finding God, all of those who did smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol would simply throw this book away. Everything that people do is to gain experience, and all experience is the product of choice."

"This brings us back to the right and wrong issue."

"Yes, there is no right and wrong. Those who have become enlightened understand that there is no right and wrong. If you, for example, made the choice not to smoke cigarettes, you would not concern yourself with those who chose to experience smoking cigarettes. You know that there is no judgement, and you know that those who are attempting to remove choice, through laws and legislation will not succeed. Those who are attempting to remove choice through laws and legislation cannot succeed, as I have explained. Through choosing to attempt to remove choices from all, they have made a choice themselves, and in so doing have already failed in their attempt to remove choice."


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"It seems that you are suggesting that my habits, through my choices are part of the example."

"Let's clarify that. You are a man approaching middle age. You have an ex-wife and children from that marriage to support. You have business difficulties and financial worries. You smoke cigarettes, you drink alcohol, you eat an unbalanced diet, and you are overweight. Despite all these impediments, you have chosen to find the God within yourself. What better example could there be than what is effectively the average man?"

"By becoming a part of God, we also become God. Is this correct?"

"Yes. Is not each drop of water which makes up the ocean, still the ocean?"

"If we take this concept one step further, we seem to be implying that there are many gods."

"Just as each drop of the ocean is still the ocean, collectively they are the ocean. So it is with God. All and one."

"It seems that society's definition of right and wrong is becoming more and more black and white."

"This is so, it is part of the attempt to remove choice from all."

"I take it that the same principle applies to what has been termed 'politically correct'."

"Yes, very much so. Frankly unless one choses to be a politician, why would one want to be politically correct? Political correctness is a means to reduce all to a lowest common denominator, and remove choice."


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"It seems that there is an increasing need for therapy, and an increasing amount of child abuse, why is this?"

"Firstly, nothing is increasing. Physical relations with children have always been experienced. The term abuse is only a judgemental term of what is experience. This attempt to convince society that there is no choice, allows for 'abuse as a child' to be an excuse for a people's actions. They have no choice, they were abused as a child. They did have choice. They chose to experience physical relations as a child, and in so doing chose to be in an environment with someone, who chose to experience physical relations with a child. There are some who have chosen this to be a brutal, forced experience, but for many it was a joyful loving experience, until society told them that the experience was wrong, and society convinced them that the experience would distort their emotional growth, and until society gave them a reason for not taking responsibility for their own actions."

"It seems that blaming childhood experience, regardless of which form childhood experience takes is increasing as a reason for people's actions."

"Yes. People are effectively using an excuse to remove choice from actions. If a soul chooses to experience a difficult childhood that is their choice. If a soul chooses to follow a path of crime that is their choice. If a soul chooses to rise above a difficult start, that is their choice. All is choice, the choice of what to experience. As we have established, place and time of birth is not a random lottery. Place and time of birth is selected to provide the environment, and experiences which a soul has chosen."

"The reality that relationships are based on a convenient way to gain experience sounds very cold. Many will have difficulty accepting this reality."

"You are correct that many will have difficulty accepting reality, but a lack of acceptance does not alter the truth. Most souls consider their relationship to be the most important factor in their lives, and they are correct. It is from relationships that most experience is gained, and the purpose of the earth plane is to gain experience."


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"It is extremely difficult to watch anybody hurting, and know that you cannot do anything about it."

"Knowing that you cannot prevent anybody from experiencing hurt does seem difficult, but knowing that you cannot prevent anybody from experiencing hurt is not difficult. Allowing a soul to experience what they have chosen to experience, without interfering is an act of love. How could you stop someone experiencing anything, when you know that unless they experience all, they cannot move closer to returning to the higher plane? Preventing people experiencing, what they have chosen to experience, achieves nothing other than to slow their journey."

"Accepting that everything is, as everything is meant to be, and that everything is to gain experience, will be viewed by some as not accepting responsibility for our actions."

"Many will take the view that acceptance is not taking responsibility. The only real responsibility that any have, is to themselves. The responsibility to self is to experience, and by experiencing, responsibility is being accepted. What you really refer to, is responsibility to others, but no soul is responsible to another. Souls are only responsible to themselves."

"Yes, but could it not be construed that one is not accountable for their past actions?"

"Accountable to whom? The only accountability is to self. Past actions may be the cause, and there is an effect as a consequence of past actions. There may be life in prison for murder, but to murder and spend life in prison is a choice in itself. To murder and spend life in prison, is an experience which has been chosen. To answer your question specifically in context, you are suggesting that who you are now, should be accountable for actions when you are experiencing who you are not.

"Your question was focused on a personal level. Again, I ask accountable to whom? If you hurt someone's feelings, which you cannot do anyway, only they can do, you have hurt someone's feelings, because they have chosen to experience having their feelings hurt. You have chosen to experience hurting someone's feelings. Both parties to the transaction, if you like, were willing participants. So who are you accountable to? I do not judge. I do not hold you accountable. If you do not experience what you have chosen to experience, the opportunity is repeated, but you are not accountable."


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"So I can do whatever I like without fear of consequences?"

"Your statement is correct. You can do whatever you choose without fear of the consequences. You will experience both the act and the consequences, the cause and the effect, but there is no reason to fear the consequences."

"Even when feeling pure love for all things, I still feel something more for some."

"Yes, you feel an extra closeness to souls who are directly attached to you. When you become part of the higher plane, you will be equally close to all souls, and you will feel this closeness to all souls."

"I do have a problem. There were events, dates etc, given to me by spirit guides when I was starting to understand reality, and the events have not occurred, or the events did occur, but the events changed. Such experiences cause me to doubt the reality of all that I experienced."

"There is more than one facet to your question. Sometimes you were simply given information so you could experience to rely only on yourself, and not on only on others. Secondly you were given information about events which did come to pass, but subsequently changed. It was known that the event would come to pass, and it was known that the event would change. You were not told of the changes. Consider if you were told the final outcome, but everything was initially different to the final outcome. You would have become even more confused. Sometimes you know the final outcome, and you do not know how the final outcome will occur. You know what you need to know, and that is all that is important. Often you cannot go from point A to point C, without first travelling to point B."


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"Is that all I was meant to experience?"

"No, not all. Only some of what you did experience. You experienced time and time again, the need to live now and that worrying and trying to understand the future achieved nothing. You experienced the inability to rationalise how everything would develop. You experienced that there is no point in seeking proof externally, many of the events which were foretold to you, were attempted to be used by you as proof. Proof not only to yourself, but also proof to others."

"Yes, I was attempting to prove that my experiences were real."

"You are certainly attempting to prove that your experiences were real. You have been using what has been foreseen, in an attempt to obtain proof positive, but regardless of whether what had been foreseen occurred or did not occur, you have experienced that the result neither proved, nor disproved anything. Neither proof, nor disproof could have been achieved externally. I told you that proof can only come from within, and now you have experienced that proof can only come from within."

"It does seem that my major difficulty, is understanding the events which I have foreseen."

"Yes, this is so with you and with many. You cannot understand something, when you do not have all of the information."


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"I have also experienced that it is difficult not to attempt to make everything happen as I have foreseen."

"Yes, attempting to make everything happen as you have foreseen, was a difficult experience for you, and one reason why much has been withheld. You would know of an event, and you would attempt to make that event occur, as you rationalised that the event would occur. You needed to experience, that you saw what was to occur, and you needed to understand that you were to do nothing, unless you were led to do something."

"Much of what I experienced, was that I could not use anything that I had foreseen to prove anything to others."

"Yes. You know that there will always be those who seek proof. You also know that proof will not be forthcoming. I have told you that proof is not possible. If you attempt to prove something, proof will not occur. You have experienced that proof is not possible, in a controlled environment."

"To change the subject, am I correct in understanding that we are to seek fulfilment?"

"You are correct, but it is fulfilment from within. Fulfilment obtained externally, is both artificial and temporary. True fulfilment can only be obtained, by being who you are now, even if who you are now includes who you are not."

"There seems to be increasing opinion, that some masters were known by different names in different cultures."

"Sometimes this realisation is correct, sometimes this realisation is not correct. This realisation does demonstrate how the same event has been interpreted in many ways, to suit the purpose of the interpreters. Each interpretation contains the truth, but no interpretation is the truth."


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"Would it not be better, if I recalled all of the events, and removed the confusion?"

"All that would occur is that your memories would be debated, against the interpretations which have developed since the events occurred. The result would be, that your message would be lost."

"Why is it so difficult for many to accept that the truth is within?"

"Most have been conditioned to believe that they are barely worthy of existing on the earth plane."

"How do we overcome this belief?"

"We do not. Each soul can accept that the truth is within for themselves, and to accept that the truth is within each soul must look within."

"I know that all sorrow, all hurt disappears when we see The Truth Of Reality, but I also know that if we chose not to experience hurt and sorrow, people see us as heartless. I do not know what to do about this incorrect perception."

"There is nothing that can be done. Each must choose to experience what they need to experience, just as you have. All that you can do, is allow each to follow the path which they have chosen to follow, and to experience that which they have chosen to experience."


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"The concept of the trinity indicates that there are three parts to our existence, but many teachers seem to indicate there are four parts to our existence."

"Look at your own words. Does not the trinity relate to the individual drop, and the fourth level is the collective ocean?"

"Would it not be simpler to analyse all of the text from, and about the teachers and confirm what is correct, and what is distorted?"

"To what end. The truth is within. If one was to read every religious or spiritual text ever written, their conclusion would be that truth is within. Is it not therefore simpler to state that the truth is within?"

"Then I do not understand why much of what we have done is necessary."

"You are correct in that much of the symbolism which we have used, is not necessary, but the symbolism which we have used, did allow us to create an environment, and a journey which others could associate with, could understand, and could draw a point of reference. Any who have reached this point, and understand will know that much was not necessary. If we had written but a single statement, 'the truth is within you, look within and you will find God', who would have understood?"

"I still have doubts that many will listen to what I have said, or believe what I have asked."

"You have asked no one to listen, you have asked no one to believe. You have simply said this is my story. This is what happened. This is what I have rediscovered. You have asked for nothing, you seek nothing, you demand nothing, from any soul."


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"So what is the point?"

"That those who seek may understand to look within, and if they become disheartened and discouraged they will continue, but only if and only when, it is their choice to continue."

"So all of the dead ends, all of the tests, all of the trials have meant nothing?"

"No, the dead ends, the tests, and the trials have meant much. The dead ends, the tests, and the trials have shown that dead ends, tests, and trials may be chosen, but dead ends, tests, and trials are unnecessary. You chose the dead ends, the tests, and the trials, so that others may not choose the dead ends, the tests, and the trials, if they so desire."

"All of the abilities which developed within me, and heightened before receding were so that I knew that the abilities were real."

"Yes, and so that you understood each of your abilities, their power, and their purpose. You will draw on any, or all of your abilities, as you require your abilities, in your ongoing role."

"Unless my spiritual abilities are apparent at all times, many will not believe that spiritual abilities exist within them."

"Will another's belief affect whether spiritual abilities exist within you? What each must do is rediscover the spiritual abilities within themselves. If you were to demonstrate the spiritual abilities within you, others may accept that spiritual abilities were within you, but others would not accept that spiritual abilities are within each. Others would say that you were different, when you are not different, some would say that you were the Messiah when you are not a messiah."

"So what others chose to think of my experiences is not important."

"Not in the slightest. What is important is that your experiences will inspire others, to look within themselves."


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"Is there any substance in what is known as mythology?"

"Yes. Mythology is based on truth which has become legend and myth. Much of what is called mythology, is in truth memories of another incarnation of the earth."

"Did mythical creatures ever exist?"

"Yes, in another incarnation of the earth. Previous incarnations of the earth plane are remembered and called mythology, because the memories cannot be proven, but the truth remains within the memories of those who existed in another incarnation of the earth."

"It is suggested that all mythology is the product of imagination."

"Yes. Imagination is a convenient excuse for all things which have not been proven."

"It could be argued the other way around."

"Yes and it is. The mirrored reality. It was once considered that a round earth was imagination, but many religious teachings of the time suggested the circular nature of all things."


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"All of the difficulties which I have had may be experienced by others, is this correct?"

"Others will experience difficulties. Their own difficulties, not your difficulties. Many will be drawn to your example, and draw strength from your example, just as you have drawn strength from your own experience, from time to time."

"Situations are simply to gain experience, and those with whom we share this experience are convenient, therefore are we not using and manipulating others?"

"By definition, everyone uses everybody they come into contact with for experience. Do not view using someone for the purpose of experience as a negative, because gaining experience is positive. You confuse using someone for the purpose of experience, with using someone from the perspective of the artificial world, to gain artificial fulfilment, but there is a vast difference. However, either scenario is nevertheless gaining experience.

"You may use someone to gain experience. Using someone, or being used by someone, is experience in itself either way. If we say you are using someone, in the artificial context of the word, we can also say they are using you, to allow themselves to experience being used by you. As for manipulation, exactly the same principle applies. You are unable to consciously manipulate a situation, unless it is necessary to consciously manipulate a situation, for you to create your environment, in which case it is not manipulation, it is necessary. The same experience principle is involved, and the experience could be described as; 'you are being manipulated into manipulating someone, so that they can experience being manipulated'. Once again you see that the true nature of reality is circular?"


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"How do we apply being who we are?"

"By not being who you are not. Most experience who they are, by allowing others, or society, or their own insecurities, to tell them who they are, and then experiencing that they are not this version of who they are, by attempting to be this version of who they are. When one becomes aware that they are not this version of who they are, the attempts to influence who they are still occur, but one knows that this version of who they are, is not who they are, and one experiences that this version of who they are, is not who they are, regardless of what external means are used to convince one otherwise."

"I know that I have not set out to hurt anyone, and I know that I have not been consciously reckless towards anyone's feelings, but still they hurt."

"That is their choice. Effectively, they have used you to hurt themselves, or to believe that you have hurt them. In fact they have chosen to hurt themselves, and that is their choice. One soul cannot hurt another, if the other soul, the one being hurt, has not chosen to be hurt. You know this truth. You have experienced this truth."

"So neither person has done anything wrong?"

"There is no wrong only experience. One who has chosen to be hurt, has created an environment to allow themselves to be hurt, so that they may experience being hurt. To put this in the context of your question, two people enter a relationship, both knowing at the highest level that one will move on. When this event which was foreseen occurs, the one who is left chooses to experience bitterness. The one who moved on, may have chosen to experience guilt. Either way, both have chosen an experience, which conveniently assists in the experiences, that the other has chosen."


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"Relationships are an area, to which we seem to keep returning."

"Yes. This is because relationships are in many ways the most important experience. It is through relationships that souls experience who they are not, so that they may experience who they are."

"Effectively the only reason we have relationships is to gain experience?"

"The only reason souls do anything is to gain experience."

"Is it that simple?"

"It is that simple!"


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