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Searching for My Soul
Book Two Seeking the Knowledge Within

With Guidance From God.

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The afternoon following my recollection of my pact with God, a great peace descended over me and the weight of my difficulties lifted. I felt lighter. I felt like I was walking on a cushion of air. I knew that I could now return to the office for as long as I needed to. I would not need to have solitude enforced on me. When I needed solitude I would know.

If my journey had been to this point of awareness, I could have remained existing at this level of weightlessness for the remainder of my life. In fact, I fully expected to remain at this level of weightlessness. However, what I did not understand and what I would not understand for some time, was that mine was a journey through awareness. What I had reached was not my goal, as I believed. I had reached an awareness level. I would reach many more of these awareness levels before my journey was complete.

I had remembered much, but I did not know how much more I was yet to recall. I understood much, but I did not understand that I had only scratched the surface, and that it would be the depth of my knowledge which would increase, more so than the breadth.

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The devil is not real. The devil is a concept that has been invented by man as a way to abdicate responsibility for our fears and insecurities. Any battle that we have with the devil is a battle with ourselves and no more than that. The devil 'exists' only in our conscious minds. When we fight our demons, we fight the devil.

The concept of the devil has been used by various religions to induce fear in people. Whether we choose to call our fears and insecurities the devil and somehow attempt to absolve ourselves from our own actions or not, the only way to defeat the devil is to defeat our own demons.

There is a dark path, but following the dark path is choice. It is our own fears and insecurities that lead to the dark path, not the devil as a separate entity but the devil which we create within us. Only those who allow their insecurities to become great are led into the darkness. However, no matter how far into the darkness we choose to go, there is still light within us. We can find the light within ourselves if we look, but the task becomes more difficult as layer upon layer of darkness hides the light.

Hell does not exist as hell is conceived by man. Hell is a soul continually being reincarnated lifetime after lifetime and suffering lifetime after lifetime, without ever seeking the light. This is the darkness. Hell is never being able to see the light within, and never being able to live within the light.

There are dark spirits, those who have been so consumed by the darkness within them that they remain in darkness even on the spirit plane. As we become enlightened, all darkness disappears from within us and we see only the light. When we have removed all of our fears and insecurities, we have removed all of the darkness.

Like our insecurities, the darkness is an illusion. The darkness is real to those who live in the darkness, but the darkness no longer exists when our insecurities are removed. When we remove our insecurities, we remove the dark veil that is blocking the light.

All illusions seem real until we understand that the illusions are an illusion. Only when we understand that the illusions are an illusion, can we see illusions for what they are.

Darkness, all darkness only occurs when the light is blocked, but the light always exists, even when the light is blocked. To find the light we need only remove what is blocking the light.

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The next morning, God spoke to me again, "Your memories are old and therefore deep. I have shown you where to find your memories. Your memories are within you, as memories are within all people. The key to finding your memories is to accept that your memories are there. Unless you accept that your memories exist you would not recognize your memories. Look deep inside of yourself, your memories are there. Memories, like the bridge to your soul, and the essence which is my being, are within all and all must look for them, but all must look within, not outside. All must accept the existence of such memories, or such memories cannot be found. Whether such memories are found or not, such memories exist. Memories exist of past lifetimes, of the spirit plane, of the higher plane. All things are within all, they exist regardless of acceptance. You know this.

"I have shown you these things, as we agreed on the mountain, so many years ago in the terms of the earth plane, but only yesterday to me. You have much more to learn, my son, and much more exists within you. I will show all to you when you are ready. Now what you yourself have termed your transition is complete, and has been complete, and will be complete. You must remember what I have shown you, and you will remember more. Your journey will be easier for you if you allow the knowledge within you to surface. If you attempt to block this knowledge, as you have done many times, your journey will again be harder for you. We have an agreement, made on that mountain. You have forgotten, but I was that eagle that watched over you as we spoke, and I have continued to watch over you to ensure that you learned what was necessary in the terms of the earth plane, to show those on the earth plane the key. Those who are ready will find the key. That is all that is important. Go now my son and be the teacher that you were chosen to be."

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Despite all that I had learned, I did not really understand exactly what God had said, but at the same time, I knew that I did understand exactly what God had said. I also knew that I had much to learn, if I was to fully understand what was being said to me.

"You are close to God but no closer than anybody else. Everyone is close to God, because I am within everybody. I am the very fabric that holds all that is together, you know this, and you have found me within yourself. I am within everybody, and anyone can find me if they look, but without acceptance they will not recognize me. This is important, this lack of acceptance is the barrier.

"Those who do not accept, will not find me within themselves, and like you they know this. They must first remove all insecurities, all fear and all darkness before they can find the light, and therefore find me. I am the light. I am the love that is my fabric. This is hard for you and others to understand, but I am the love that exists within you all. I am the fabric that binds all together, and that fabric is love. The thread of all things, the thread of all life is me, and that thread is love.

"Relax my son, allow what is to be. Remember what I have shown you and what I have told you. It is the way that you will retain your peace. It is the way that you have found and lost your peace so many times during what you have termed your transition. You will only lose your peace during those moments when you forget. Remember and be at peace. You have earned your peace, accept your peace.

"All can be at peace, total peace like you have found. All can be at peace by finding the love within themselves, by finding the light within themselves, by finding God within themselves. This is the only true peace, and it is only by finding this peace that those who choose can return to the higher plane. All problems that my children have faced have come from within them. All things positive and negative, or good and evil for those who prefer, come from within. It is hard to find what is within or understand what is within, when all they do is look outside. Nothing can be found when you are looking where it is not. All can talk to me and I will hear for I am within all, but no one can listen to my response unless they first find me within themselves. This is because they block my response. All will become what you term spirit guides, what others term guardian angels. All will sometimes help those with whom they are directly linked, mostly from the spirit plane. They do this as part of what they must learn. You yourself have been both spirit guide and earth guide to others as part of your learning, you will remember this. All can remember this, for nothing is forgotten. All that is forgotten is to remember."

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I did remember, not much, but I did remember being a spirit guide to many, and I vaguely remembered the people to whom I had been a spirit guide. I remembered them in each incarnation, with different faces. Sometimes the face of the people to whom I had been a spirit guide were superimposed over the face I saw in this lifetime. I could remember many people as they were lifetime after lifetime, with different faces, which were somehow the same face.

God said, "Be patient, my son. If all memories come to you clearly and at once, you will be overwhelmed. Let your memories come, let your memories develop, but do not seek your memories all at once.

"Spirit guides operate at a lower vibration than those on the higher plane, but at a higher vibration than those on the earth plane. Those on the earth plane must increase their vibrational rate to be able to hear me clearly, so spirit guides are necessary, as are earth guides as you term them, because the vibrational rate is the same. Everything has what you term vibrational rate. Vibrational rate is based on knowledge. It is knowledge of remembering what has gone before that increases vibrational rate. Without remembering all that has been learned, there is no real knowledge, and it is this knowledge that increases the vibrational rate. Your scientists know that little of what you call the mind is used, but the mind is all used. The mind is just closed. The mind must be opened. It is opening what you call your mind that increases the flow of true knowledge, and therefore the vibrations from this knowledge that you call vibrational rate.

"It is through finding the bridge to your soul that you begin to open your mind, you begin to allow the knowledge of all that is to cross the bridge to your soul, and to surface. You must understand that all souls are what you know as immortal. All things are based on love and love is eternal. There is a limited time in which to learn, this is necessary. There is a time when all must live within the love, or not, but those who do not live within the love will remain. They will always exist, but the bridge to their soul will be removed. This is necessary, you must know this.

"Do not try too hard to understand what you do not understand yet. The knowledge is within you, be open to recall your knowledge and you will recall your knowledge as and when you are ready. Knowledge feeds upon itself. As your vibrational rate increases so does your knowledge, and as your knowledge increases, so does your ability to understand, and as your ability to understand increases, so does your knowledge.

"Do not worry, you know on all levels now that you will do what you must. You have to exist on the earth plane until your destiny is completed, you know this and you have always known this. You will always have sufficient time to do that which is necessary. Where you are, if it is where you are, is where you must be.

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"As the vibrational rate increases, the standards of the lower plane are not forgotten, but so much more is remembered. When you first discover that there is much more than the lower plane, it is difficult. You are balancing and you must balance the vibrational rates from three different planes. You must remember this, you will balance the vibrational rates from three different planes. You have the ability to balance the vibrational rates from three different planes, you know this. The vibrational rate of the earth plane is slow but strong. Knowledge is like energy, as knowledge increases so does energy increase, which is what increases the vibrational rate. It is difficult to explain fully without a point of reference, but you know the truth, as do all.

"The roundness of the earth could not be explained to those who 'knew' that the earth was flat. You know things within yourself that you cannot yet explain in terms of the earth plane, because there is no point of reference, but you know them nevertheless. Remember, that others know these things too if they allow themselves to know them, and when they accept that they know them, no explanation is necessary. If an explanation is necessary, those who seek the explanation are not sufficiently open to receive the explanation. As you have discovered, much of the truth in the terms of the earth plane is what is termed ironic. As you know, those seeking to know must be able to understand or the truth is lost, because the truth is altered to reflect their understanding. This I demonstrated with the story of the pilot and the island. People can only understand what is communicated in their terms and without understanding, communication is lost. It is better to say nothing than to have what is said misunderstood.

"No knowledge is preferable to false knowledge. The truth will be altered unless the truth is understood, as has happened so many times before. However the essence of the truth always remains, you know this. The wine retains the image of the grape for those who choose to see the image of the grape. So it is with all things."

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God reminded me, "You have said to many that you feel like a boy again, not a man in the terms of the earth plane."

Which was correct, it was exactly how I felt.

"This is because your soul has returned to when you were an Indian boy, when you agreed to undertake this task, as you now remember my son. Remember and understand that although some things are difficult for you whilst you must remain anchored to the earth plane, the anchor must remain.

"There is nothing that you have done that all cannot do. That is your message. That is the key, and the key must be found on the earth plane by those on the earth plane. You know that there is no other way. The message must be delivered from within, because the answers are contained within. Look deep within, as the flow of knowledge and understanding increases, so does the bridge to the soul widen. Do not worry about what exists on the earth plane, you must exist on the earth plane, but you must not worry. Understand that you were not the only one chosen. Many were chosen because it was time, you know this. They have volunteered for different tasks, your task is to provide the key.

"Report what I have told you, report your experiences and others will find their key within your teaching, you know this. Each key is different, each key is appropriate to each person subject to their position on the circle of knowledge. Your circle is incomplete, yet your circle is also complete, but you have not discovered that your circle is complete, and it is so with all. All circles are complete, and yet all circles are incomplete until it is learned that the circle is complete. Another of what you term an irony.

"Do not worry my son, do not allow the vibration of the earth plane to slow down your true vibration now you have discovered your true vibration. This is your challenge, but you will overcome your challenge, it is your destiny. You know this and you will overcome your challenge by acceptance.

"I created the disease of artificial fulfilment to provide an environment in which to learn, the disease of artificial fulfilment was necessary, as was its growth. I created artificial fulfilment, but if I had controlled artificial fulfilment, artificial fulfilment would not have fulfilled its purpose of the learning environment. Artificial fulfilment had to grow to allow what you term my children to grow. If pure love is not learned on the earth plane, it would contaminate the higher plane.

"The earth plane is to me what you term a controlled environment, as are the other worlds which I have created. Some of these worlds have the same learning environment as the earth plane and some of these worlds have a different learning environment than the earth plane. These worlds are unimportant to those on the earth plane. As people become open to the knowledge within themselves, they will understand this and remember other worlds, as will you, as do you."

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My head was spinning, my memories were very vague, but my memories were there. It was all happening too fast for me.

"No my son, for you it is always too fast or too slow. Understand that all is as it is meant to be. Sometimes you become confused, you are moving between planes, and while you are on the earth plane, moving between planes is confusing. You must exist on the earth plane, but do not try to limit your thoughts to the earth plane. You can no longer limit your thoughts to the earth plane, you have opened your mind too much to limit your thoughts to the earth plane, allow all knowledge to return to you in its own time.

"You know what you are ready to remember, and this is what you will remember. The details of what you remember are unimportant to others, others must remember what they know, not what you know. Others must complete their circle as you must complete your circle, but all circles are different. Experience is the only true teacher, which is why all experience is necessary. You are in space looking at the circular world, but a part of you is still hanging on to the belief that the world is flat, even though you have seen for yourself that the world is not flat.

"Mankind knows of the existence of other worlds, besides what is known as earth, but many are hiding the fact, just as the islanders tried with the pilot in the story I gave you. As with the pilot, the truth is finding its way, as the truth always will. The truth is, and the truth can only be hidden for so long.

"The only way that souls can complete the circle is to experience all things. Without experiencing all things the truth cannot be understood, and the truth of pure love must be understood. All souls know this, but all souls must look within and find the truth of pure love for themselves. You know this, all souls know this.

"Do what worry because your physical body or your physical mind becomes tired. These are limitations which you must endure, because you must exist on the earth plane, or what may be called the physical plane. It is all necessary, you know this. When I told you that you had the answers within you, you disbelieved me until I allowed you to see the answers within you. I had to block the truth from you until it was time to reveal the truth, as I told you that I would, my Indian boy, on the mountain.

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"I am the eagle that circled above you, that still circles you, if you choose to see the eagle. You know this, you have again seen the eagle, although you did not wish to accept the eagle. You would not have been given this task if you did not have the ability to complete this task. The task could only be completed from the perspective of the earth plane.

"Those who will attempt to discredit what you have experienced and what you have been told, will and can only see the truth of your message within themselves if they choose. The truth exists within them. They must accept that the truth exists within them, or they will not see the truth.

"Within my words and your experiences lies their key, but all must find the truth within for themselves. They cannot find a key if they do not believe that a key exists. Just as you needed to learn of the key's existence, and the truth within step by step, so do all. You, yourself could not have believed until you were given the experiences to accept, and even then you still had trouble accepting that your experience was real. You needed to accept what you have experienced, even though you tried not to accept what you have experienced. It was time, and trying not to accept the truth, was what led you to accept the truth, and so it is with all.

"You are no different in your knowledge, only your acceptance. Some will think you are false and some will think you are a Messiah, that is their choice. You are neither, you are a guide, a teacher. Those who choose to follow the path you have shown them will find the truth within, those who choose not to follow the path you have shown them will not find the truth within. Neither will impact whether your task is completed. Your task is completed, and your task is being completed, such is the way of things.

"All that I have shown you, you see. All that I have told you to remember, you remember. All that you know, you know. All that you have yet to learn, you know. So it is with all.

"Acceptance will make it easy for you, as acceptance will make it easy for all. Accept that you know, and you will know. Accept that the light exists within, and you will stop blocking the light within. If this acceptance was easy, there would be no test, no learning and no experience. By accepting, acceptance becomes easy.

"Artificial fulfilment is still within you, but artificial fulfilment is growing weaker as the truth grows stronger, so it will be with all."

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My head was spinning after the previous few hours. I was very tired and very drained. What had happened, did happen. I could not deny that. I had God's words in front of me. Even though I had written them, the words I had written were not from me. I had no idea of what I was going to write until I wrote it. Despite all that had happened, I still had difficulty believing what was happening, but I could not dispute that it had happened. My memories were real, some memories were clear, and some memories were vague, but I did remember.

I rested most of that afternoon, but in the early evening and again in the early hours of the next morning, God spoke to me, explaining some aspects of my current lifetime that had been troubling me.

Many times during these discussions God said, "Do not worry, everything is as it should be."

I was no longer amazed or incredulous that I was able to speak with God. It was easy to communicate with God, and it is easy for all of us to communicate with God. I had learned that God is truly within us all, and therefore, it is easy for us to talk with God.

God explained. "I am part of the fabric of your existence, I am love, the love within all. I am part of you all. Your existence is built upon my fabric.

"Some have begun to know this, and some say you are all God. This is not strictly correct as you would understand God, but I am part of all. I am the fabric that binds all together, I am the love within you all. Understand this and you will understand God. Love is what I am, but love is not all I am. I am so much more, I am part of everything, I am the fabric of existence itself.

"I am omnipresent. I am everywhere. I am part of all things. I am within those who do evil, but they have chosen to live in the darkness and block out my light. Because my light cannot be seen within them, does not mean that my light does not exist.

"Many have attempted to create a mystery around me. Many have tried to explain me in many different ways through lack of understanding, but I am no mystery. All know me, I am within all. I am love, pure love. My existence is that simple and that complicated.

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"I know all things, I have always known all things, and I will always know all things. I am everywhere. I knew that this time of rediscovery of the truth would arrive, and I knew when this time of rediscovery of the truth would arrive. That is why you and others were prepared. You were made ready to show the way when my children began looking for the way. I knew that this point in time would occur, and I always knew that this point in time would occur.

"Artificial fulfilment was allowed to flourish because artificial fulfilment would always consume itself, this was known. It was known that artificial fulfilment would consume itself when artificial fulfilment had begun to fulfil its purpose, this time has arrived.

"I am the higher plane. When souls exist on the higher plane, souls exist within me, and that is the difference. On the earth plane and the spirit plane I exist within souls. On the higher plane, souls exist within me, within pure love. Souls must learn pure love, to exist within pure love. That is what this is about. That is why the earth plane and other such planes exist, to learn pure love.

"I am a part of all and all is a part of me. Some think that all are me or I am them. This is not so, as I am understood. There is only one God and I am everywhere. I am the fabric of existence. I am love. There is no evil within me, for evil does not exist, but souls must learn this to become a part of me, to exist within me.

"The higher plane is found within because I am the higher plane and I am within. That I am within is difficult for you to understand this at this point, but you know that it is so."

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Later, God continued, "Do not worry, my son. You must remain on the earth plane to complete your task, what you have called your destiny, but you know that this is not even a blink in the terms of existence.

"Many a false truth has been created by the misguided trying to explain what they do not understand. This has been done through seeking answers from outside, when the answers are inside. All must open their minds to the truth. All must see what is within them and then all will understand. All will know this when they accept that they have this knowledge within.

"Acceptance does not occur overnight, therefore knowledge does not occur overnight. It has taken you three hundred years of concentrated learning over many lifetimes to acquire the knowledge I took from you on the mountain. I have held back from you the knowledge of the thousands of years that it previously took you to reach that point of what is termed enlightenment. That knowledge will not be returned to you now, because such knowledge would confuse you. The knowledge still exists within you, but very deep and you will only find the knowledge when you are ready to find the knowledge.

"The need for knowledge is within all, knowledge must be acquired. All must know what I know before they can reach the higher plane and form part of what I am, before they can live within me. Knowledge is acquired from experience, but knowledge is accumulated within. There is a point where all must search inside for accumulated knowledge, so that the circle of knowledge, the circle of awareness can be completed.

"You yourself now know that I have been within you and I have been allowing you to draw on the knowledge within me, and therefore within you, for some time. You did not know where this knowledge was coming from, but you did know where the knowledge came from. You were unable to fully accept where the knowledge came from, until your knowledge had reached a point, where your vibrational rate had increased to a point, where you could accept your knowledge of where the knowledge came from. This is when you knew the true source of knowledge within, but you always knew the true source of knowledge within.

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"Do not worry about the impact that your vibrational rate has had on others. During what you have termed your transition, your vibrational rate was erratic. Now your vibrational rate is becoming both stronger and more balanced. You know this, and so it will be and is with all.

"Those who have elected to provide temporary bridges to people's souls are necessary, for without temporary bridges, many would have no means of communicating with their souls, in fact many do not. Accepting the use of a temporary bridge is a small step, but a temporary bridge opens communication with the soul and by so doing, opens communication with me, for I am part of the soul. You know you have the ability to become a temporary bridge, you have been shown this, but all have the ability to become a temporary bridge. To be a temporary bridge is not your path, to be a temporary bridge is the path of a few who have elected to follow that path.

"Your path, your task, is to provide the key. The key which you will provide will unlock the barriers preventing my light from shining within those who are ready to find the key. Not all are ready, everything is relative, few are ready and many are ready. This is why the key is being provided. Others have been given other tasks. If one was chosen as has been done before, the one would become worshipped as has been done before. None should be worshipped. I should not be worshipped. I do not seek worship, only love, because I am love. Love is my life force as the air you breathe in your physical incarnation is your life force while you remain in physical form.

"I seek love as man seeks air, and yet I am love. As more of my children find love, pure love for all that is, so I grow because I am this love. Ever increasing love for all that is, love beyond the comprehension of those who are not fully a part of the higher plane, not fully a part of me, and not fully a part of pure love. There cannot be an existence of any kind more beautiful or satisfying than that of pure love.

"Souls have only been created so that pure love can be learnt, and pure love can grow. I am pure love. This may seem selfish in the terms of the earth plane, but how can pure love be selfish? By definition, pure love cannot be selfish.

"Even though pure love allows me to grow, I also share this pure love with the souls I have created. I do this because my love is pure. It is pure love for all that exists, and yet it is only pure love that really exists.

"Rest now my son, and remember I am part of you as you will become part of me, but for now you are bound to the earth plane. Know this and be content in the knowledge that there are many joys on the earth plane that you have not experienced for three hundred years, and you will experience the joys of the earth plane again before you return to me."

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I rested for a while. It was a rest filled with images and understanding. There were many questions answered about aspects of my life.

Later, I was still having difficulty accepting that some things had happened, only because they were meant to happen.

God said, "Everything is as it is meant to be, you know this. Look within, it could be no other way if you were to learn. Others were and are drawn to you not only because you must learn, but also because they must learn."

God answered some specific questions, "You and Marie were never meant to be, despite all that you felt, you knew that you and Marie were never meant to be, and you knew that you knew that you and Marie were never meant to be. At times you were meant to learn together, that is all. Some lessons are not easy.

"All will join the spirit plane when it is time, that is all that matters. You were given two symbols at the start of your transition. One, which you had difficulty understanding for some time, came to pass. The other was not going to come to pass, although you understood the second symbols as you were meant to. This was done to teach you the futility of symbols. You had to learn that some symbols could not be understood if you do not have all of the information, and that other symbols are meaningless.

"How could I teach you that symbols mean nothing if your own transition was based on symbols? The symbols and signs which you were given were designed to show you the futility in looking for symbols and their meaning. The symbols intentionally confused you, as symbols and signs confuse all.

"There are no symbols and signs, only knowledge from within. You have confused yourself many times by looking for symbols and signs and other things that do not really exist. This, like all things, was something that you needed to learn. How could you learn that looking outward was futile, unless you looked outward? How could you learn that the only truth was within unless you found the truth within?

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"I could not teach, you had to learn. All I could do is guide you and show you what was real. When you found something that was real, you knew it to be so. When you found something that was false, you knew that it was not real, but you caused much confusion within yourself attempting to convince yourself that it was real. So it is with all. What is real is within all, and what is not real is an illusion. All illusions are external, even though they are embraced as real. All that is real is within.

"Before the truth can be found, all external illusions, all insecurities, all fears and all doubts must be removed, because insecurities, fears and doubts block the bridge to your soul. Insecurities, fears and doubts hide not only the bridge to your soul, but the very existence of the bridge to your soul. Therefore the truth, the light and the love, which exist on the other side of the bridge to your soul, cannot be found. You know this. You have experienced this. The concentration of your learning made your road difficult, but the concentration of your learning was necessary. This you also know.

"Unless the bridge to your soul is found, I cannot be found for I am the truth, the light and the love which exists on the other side of the bridge to your soul. Truth, light and love are my fabric, and in turn I am the fabric of all souls. This is why all are one with God.

"It is through finding the truth, the light and the love, which I am within all things, that souls can truly find peace. There is no peace in illusion, for peace based on illusion is illusion itself and therefore cannot be real peace.

"Everything in your lifetime, my son, was as it was meant to be. Moments of joy were fleeting. If your lifetime had been different, if all of your lifetimes which, as you remember also only had fleeting moments of joy, were different, then you would not have been prepared for this moment.

"Many from your previous lifetimes were brought together in this lifetime to show you that it was real, to allow you to see the truth. What you have endured, what you have learned, is the same as all must learn. However, your learning was concentrated and your learning had previously occurred naturally over many thousands of years. This concentration has been necessary to provide clarity of teaching. You know this. You were told this on the mountain.

"You still worry, my son, but what have you to worry about? Look deep and remember all that is necessary. You should not worry, because there is no reason to worry."

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I knew that I still had much to do before I completed my task, but I knew that I would complete my task. I knew that my journey would not be as difficult as my journey had been, although I had no doubt that at times my journey would not be easy. I knew that I would complete my task on schedule. However, I had no concept of what was to lie ahead.

Later that day God said, "You are too hard on yourself. You are attached to earth plane, and all that goes with the earth plane."

I knew that I was constantly trying too hard, I needed to relax and flow with whatever occurred.

That evening I found myself concerned about matters associated with my business. I was wondering what was going to happen.

God said, "You must do what is required to earn your living whilst matters run their course."

Even as God explained that I needed to maintain my income while 'matters ran their course', I knew that God was right. What I did not have any concept of was how long it would take for 'matters to run their course'. If I had been aware of this, I would not, I could not have believed that I would have been able to maintain my income whilst 'matters ran their course'. Nor did I know that I would forget God's advice and not recall God's advice for many months, despite reviewing my notes many times during those months. This was one piece of advice that I was to overlook many times, and when I finally 'saw' God's advice, I had difficulty believing that I could have read my notes so many times without 'seeing' this advice, although I also understood that it was necessary that I did overlook this advice.

"The one thing to remember is not to accept pressure, but pressure will only come from yourself."

I also chose to overlook this second piece of advice I received that day. As I reflect upon my journey, I know that both pieces of advice were repeated many times, and yet I continued to overlook God's advice. I understand that overlooking God's advice was necessary, but I would not have believed that I could re-read my notes so many times and not 'see' God's original advice.

"You feel that you know things because you do know things, much more than you realize, as do all my children. Be open to all knowledge and you will recognize all knowledge.

"Remember, all that has ended is the beginning. There is much more for you to learn or more accurately relearn what you know. All must relearn what is known. All knowledge is within. Accept this and all knowledge will be found within.

"I repeat this message often for you and for all who seek the truth. All knowledge is within. I am within. Look within, look deep and look often. There is no limit to what you will find within, but you must continue to look within. Look within, remember and relearn what you know.

"For thousands of years my children have been taught that I am external to their being, but I am internal. This is the message those who truly seek the truth must understand.

"This is the hardest truth for most to understand because they have been taught otherwise through lack of understanding. All knowledge and all understanding are contained within. Those who know the truth will know me, because I am the truth."

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The following morning I wondered if I was approaching everything that was occurring correctly.

God said, "Do not second guess yourself my son, I am guiding you and all is as all is meant to be. Your memories are returning, and your memories are correct. Your understanding grows with what you remember, so it is with all.

"You are no different. All can achieve what you have achieved. What you have achieved will remind others of this. What you have achieved will provide the key to their own awareness, although each is at a different awareness level. Those who are aware do not judge those who are not aware, because those who are aware, are aware that such judgement is not real. I do not judge. What has been called the day of judgement is not so, because there is no judgement. There is a point where those who have not yet achieved awareness will no longer be able to access the higher plane and therefore unable to access God, because I am the higher plane. The door will be closed and the keys will no longer be provided to open the door. Those who have once again become aware, those who have learned the awareness that they once knew, will exist together within the higher plane, for eternity. They will exist within pure love and all the beauty and happiness that is a part of the higher plane, aware of their identity as complete souls, and aware of all that is as well.

"On the higher plane I will cease to be the fabric of their existence. On the higher plane I will cease to be within each. Each will become the fabric of my existence, and each will exist within me. This is hard to explain to those who do not understand, but those who do understand need no explanation. It is so. All know this if they choose to seek the knowledge within.

"The only limit to knowledge is placed upon my children by themselves. They must remove these self-imposed limits, and removing these self-imposed limits can only be done by themselves. This can only be achieved by accepting, and acknowledging the self imposed limits. You yourself have expanded your limits, and you will continue to expand your limits, but you are a long way from removing your limits. You will know this only when you remove your limits, but you must have limits to control the flow of knowledge at a level which you can absorb, and so it is with all.

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"Even now you try to do too much. Your mind is active on all three planes, and this is the burden which you must carry, the burden which you must balance. You will expand your limits by opening your mind, and making room by ceasing to worry about the matters on the earth plane. You are tied to the earth plane and expanding your limits is sometimes not easy, but expanding your limits is what you must do. You have expanded your limits in a small way, but there is so much more that you must do, and so it is with all.

"The worries and difficulties of the earth plane are all self-imposed and are all illusions, but the worries and difficulties consume that which should contain the truth. As the worries and difficulties are removed, more and more of the truth, which means more and more of me, will be able to enter.

"Eyes are focused outward, but it is by looking inward that you see so much more outward. You have learned to look inward and so must all must learn to look inward. Despite all that you have learned, you still doubt, which is as it should be. You were given your capacity to doubt as part of your incarnation. You know this yourself, and yet it is your capacity to doubt which causes you to doubt even your capacity to doubt. Doubt is strong within you, because without doubt you would be too easily satisfied. You must learn to remove your doubt and, as with all things, all must learn to remove their doubts.

"Still you worry. You worry about information you find within yourself when you are without pen and paper, fearful that you will forget but I ask you, how can you forget that which is within you? Your worry about all things is necessary for your balance between planes, but you allow your worry to manifest itself within your physical body even though you have learned not to allow worry to manifest itself within your physical body.

"You again see what you know, the detail of your memory increases when you have pen and paper in hand. The detail of your memory does not diminish, as you fear. You have learnt that the detail of your memory increases when you have pen and paper in hand, but still you concern yourself with this fear. As you cease to worry, you will learn not to worry, but until you learn not to worry, you will not cease to worry."

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At the time I did not believe that I would ever be able to understand these circular statements. I was to discover that my beliefs such as this were irrelevant, and that I would begin to understand circular statements, as I began to really understand the circular nature of our existence.

"You will learn not to doubt when you have removed the limitations placed on you by your own doubts. So you will cease to doubt only when you learn not to doubt, but you cannot learn not to doubt until you cease to doubt. This is so with you and it is so with all, you are no different.

"The answers, all answers, are within you and within all. Go about your earth plane business now, you will seek more when you are ready to receive more. Relax my son, remove your worries and dispel your doubts.

"To one who has had their heart broken, I ask how would one know that heartbreak is not real? How will one learn that heartbreak is an illusion unless one endures heartbreak? It is the broken hearted who determine how many times they relive the experience until they learn. Heartbreak is only an illusion built and based upon insecurities, but this must be learned. As it is with loss, how does one learn that loss is not real without suffering loss? Loss is a perception, an illusion. Loss does not occur, but that loss does not occur must be learned. It is those who suffer loss who determine how much loss must be endured before the lesson of the illusion of loss is learned. I create the environment, it is those within the environment who choose to learn or not to learn.

"Those who are around you are there to help you learn, as you are there to help them learn. Most learning requires interaction but there is also a need for solitude to recall prior learning, which was through interaction.

"You still allow yourself to concern yourself about things that are unimportant. You must learn not to concern yourself about things that are unimportant, my son.

"Most of the problems that are endured, are caused by those who choose not to see. This is so in their own lifetimes, and in all things around them."

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At this time, I understood very little of what was being said to me. I certainly had no concept of the true meaning of God's words, 'in all things around them'. I was to understand the meaning of God's words in time, and I was to live much of what God told me during this early dialogue. I conveniently overlooked this comment, even after I had understood its true meaning.

"If my children choose not to see what is around them now, how will they choose to see what is within the universe. My children must first open their eyes to what is happening around them. All have warnings, all know what will happen if they only choose to see, but they choose to be blind. So much could be avoided if they would only choose to see, and by seeing learn. How can one learn if the choice is made not to see?

"Opening one's eyes is the first step to opening one's soul, you have seen this for yourself, my son. Still you choose to see with your desires instead of seeing with reality, and so it is with all.

"All must choose to see reality, and all must choose to see illusion only for what illusion is. I have demonstrated to you how you can maintain balance during this time, learn from my demonstration and accept my guidance."

God explained, "As the drop of water is still a drop of water when the drop of water is part of the ocean, and the drop of water is also part of the ocean, so too are souls who become part of the higher plane, and therefore part of me."

Later God said, "Relax, my son. Things are as they are, and things are as they shall be. You have learnt much, but you have much to learn. What you have is a beginning, an introduction."

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Later that same day God said, "I am pure love, I am all that you know as good and kind. I do not cause suffering. Those who cause suffering bring suffering to themselves. Those who cause suffering in one lifetime will themselves suffer in the next. Many who suffer beg of me to take their suffering away but I cannot because without their suffering, they would not learn. Many do not learn through suffering. How would any learn without suffering? Those who suffer will again be given the choice to cause suffering or not to cause suffering in their next lifetime, and if they choose to cause suffering again, so they will again suffer. They, like all, will reap what they sow. Those who suffer now only have to look within to find the cause of their suffering, and only by finding the cause of their suffering can they end their suffering.

"Those who seek the cause of their suffering outside of themselves will not find the cause of their suffering, because they are looking where the cause of their suffering is not.

"I am present within all, and I have forsaken none, many ask why I have forsaken them, but I have not forsaken them, they have forsaken me. They have forgotten that I am within them, and they will find me only by looking within.

"The suffering that people endure is but an illusion, an illusion created from within. Lifetime after lifetime of illusion has been built upon the truth, and the illusions that are now deep must first be removed before the truth can be found. The fears and insecurities, the illusions, all things that are not real, must cease to be real, must be seen for what they are, just as you did, my son, before the truth can be found. Even when the illusions are seen for what they are, the illusions are not easy to discard. You yourself know this. You yourself have not removed all doubt from within you, but have no concern my son, you will. All worries, which are born from your remaining doubts, will be removed with your remaining doubts. So it will be with all.

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  "All must continue to look deep, all must accept the truth. This is the age of rediscovery. Much has been rediscovered and labelled 'New Age', such is your need to label things. Labels serve no purpose, and false labels lead to confusion. Existence and truth cannot be labelled. What is so, is so and that is what it is.

"I am called by many names and I am seen in many ways, but I am, and that is all.

"Labels are for those on the earth plane to identify and understand, but labels have no real meaning. Those who look within will see the truth of existence, and those who look within will know the truth of existence. All who choose to accept this knowledge, will know that they have this knowledge.

"You yourself have this knowledge and still you doubt, look deeper within yourself, find all knowledge and dispel all doubt. All who doubt must look deeper within themselves, because all have the truth within them.

"You should cease to be surprised at what you find within you, my son. All knowledge is within you, so how can any knowledge surprise you? Look deep and find the knowledge that you have hidden. Look deep and find the knowledge that you have blocked. All have hidden and blocked this knowledge. All must look within for this knowledge now, but only those who are ready will look."

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Despite being told to 'cease to be surprised' at what I found within, I continued to be both surprised and amazed as I looked ever deeper within myself. I also 'conveniently' chose to overlook this piece of advice as well.

"I have explained many times how to treat others, how to approach life. Many have ignored my message and those who have not, have allowed my message to become distorted, and yet the truth is within all. All know how to treat others. All know the truth of pure love. All must look within and find this knowledge.

"My words repeat for those who would receive my words are slow to learn. They have lost their way, and they cannot find their way without first finding the light which burns within all. All must open the door to their soul and let the light out, so that they will find their way.

"You no longer question your sanity because you have found much peace in the truth. As your remaining doubts are removed by the truth, so will your peace increase. This is so with all. When those who seek the truth have found the truth, they will have found me, because I am the truth."

Later that afternoon I found myself worrying again.

God said, "You worry for nothing, all will be well, you will have joy, you know this."

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That night Nancy called in for dinner, I found myself tired and drained, and I could not understand why I was tired and drained. I thought that I may have been tired and drained a result of my experiences of the previous few days, but I did not believe that my experiences of the previous few days were the reason that I was tired and drained. What had occurred came from within, and my experiences had uplifted me, not drained me.

After I had walked Nancy home, I no longer felt drained. I reflected on the experience. I realized that I had felt drained from the moment that Nancy had arrived at my home. I saw that it was Nancy who had been draining my energy. Having my energy drained was something that I had experienced many times, and not just with Nancy. I knew that it did not matter, and I knew that Nancy desperately needed my energy or she would not have drawn my energy. I also knew that now that I was aware of what was occurring, I would no longer have a problem with others draining my energy. I would be able to control the amount of energy that others drained from me. The key was that I knew what was happening.

God said, "You are now starting to understand."

I realized something else that night as my energy level was returning during my walk home. I was drawing energy from the plant life around me. I lived in an area where the plant life was abundant, and I drew the plant life's energy. This was why I felt so strong after even a short stroll. I was drawing energy from the plant life as I had learned was possible whilst I was on the island, but I had ceased to be consciously aware of drawing energy from the plant life. Now that my awareness had been reawakened, I would draw more energy from the plant life around me.

In time, I would become aware of how and why drawing energy from plant life was both possible and necessary.

God said, "Awareness is the key, you are understanding correctly. You did know both of these things all of the time, but you had lost your awareness of these things. You must learn to be aware all of the time."

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The next day our raindrop was revisited, "Whether it is a raindrop, a cloud or part of a river, the substance of the raindrop is the same, it is the wetness. Regardless of the shape or form, the wetness of the raindrop's substance remains the same. So it is with me. I am like the wetness that is in each drop always. The wetness is the very substance of the drop, and whatever the drop becomes. So it is with God. I am the very substance of all, regardless of what form, physical or spiritual, that is currently adopted.

"All have spirit guides, guiding and protecting the physical beings whom the spirit guides are linked to. This external guidance is also internal guidance because all souls are ultimately attached, and some souls are directly attached. When you look inwards and draw on all that is within, it is the attachment, the piece of linked souls that are drawn on. It is also within. As you have learned my son, when you become aware contact with the spirit plane is maintained. Souls are still in contact and travel to the spirit plane still occurs, although travel to the spirit plane is not necessarily as travel to the spirit plane was. All happens within your awareness, and that is the difference. Those who are aware are no longer unaware, or selectively aware of their travels to the spirit plane.

"As you look within, you will remember your times on the spirit plane and the further that you look, the stronger and more detailed your memory becomes. All is remembered, all knowledge is retained within the soul. Acceptance of all is the key to your awareness. You yourself have come far, my son, but you have so much further to go. You are splashing about in the surface of your knowledge in wonder of what you have found there, but these wonders are nothing compared to what you will find as you go deeper. You have not discovered anything you did not know, nor will you. You will simply become aware that you know it, and so it is with all.

"You must continue to look deep my son, and you must continue to increase your own awareness. What you have learned, others will learn by the example that you have agreed to be.

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  "Have no doubts, your doubts are like a rope tied to your waist, preventing you from diving deep into your knowledge. A rope born by the fear that you might drown in the depths of your own knowledge, but this is an irrational fear."

I had asked God for strength and wisdom.

God replied, "You have both, my son. Without the strength that you have, you could not have travelled this path which I sent you on. Accept that you have much strength, know how much strength you have needed to follow the path that led you away from all that you desired on the earth plane. You also have wisdom, but wisdom is nothing without understanding, and you are only now at the beginning of understanding. As your understanding grows so will your wisdom. You are yet to discover who you are, who you have been before you were the Indian boy, who agreed to undertake this task. Understand too that all have strength, all have wisdom and all have knowledge. All that is lacked is understanding through awareness. Awareness must come first and all things will follow."

At the time, I did not pay any attention to God's throwaway line 'You are yet to discover who you are, who you have been before the Indian boy'. I assumed that God simply meant that I'd had lifetimes prior to the Indian boy. However, it would only be a few weeks before I would discover the meaning of these words.

"Do not think that you can give understanding to others, because you cannot give understanding to any. Each must find their own understanding. Each must look inside of themselves. Looking within is the only way to find true understanding. All you are able to do is sow the seed of understanding within them. Those who seek the key will find the key in your words and in my words.

"You worry less today, my son. So it will be, each day you will worry a little less as your doubts are slowly removed, and as you continue to replace your doubts with the knowledge which is within you.

"Remember, all may achieve what you yourself have achieved and more, but they must choose to become aware. They must remove all that is blocking their awareness. They must remove all that blocks the light, which is God, from shining within them. Light exists within all, but the light within cannot be seen if the light within is blocked.

"You still must walk the tightrope between your old world and your new world, but as your awareness grows, the rope widens and your balance is becoming easier to maintain all of the time. You have sown many seeds, many ideas in your old world. The 'sower of seeds' is your destiny. Do not be concerned because you now see the seeds which you have sown removed from the earth. Had your destiny been in your old world, you would have nurtured the seeds and watched them grow until you could harvest the rewards, but it was not to be.

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  "Understand this, and understand that those for whom you sowed the seeds will replant the seeds or not, that is their choice, and their choice is not your concern. Each has their own path. Each must follow their own path. As your awareness has grown, you see clearly where the path of many will lead them, and you desire to alter their course so that their path leads them to better things. You cannot alter another's course. Only they can alter their own path, and if they choose to look for your guidance, you will provide guidance. If they choose not to seek your guidance, you could not provide guidance if you tried for an eternity. You know this.

"Feel love for all, and know that if their path is leading them to sorrow, or hardship, such is their choice. They are creating for themselves an environment in which to learn. Allow them their illusions, because it is the illusion which creates the learning environment, until they eventually learn that the illusion is an illusion, as you have. If you attempt to alter their path, they will find a way around your attempt, because their path is necessary for them to learn, you know this."

This was another of God's statements which I did not understand and as such I overlooked God's advice despite reviewing my notes on many occasions. It was only when I was reviewing my notes during the latter part of my journey that I was able to see exactly what God had told me during my early dialogue with God. God was to tell me on many occasions during my journey that I had been given this knowledge, but I conveniently chose not to see.

"Apply understanding to this knowledge, and know that as it was with you, so it is with all. You know that not all seeds grow, it is the way of things. You cannot expect seeds to grow unless the seeds are nurtured, and seeds will only be nurtured if those who are charged with nurturing the seeds choose to see what the seeds will grow in to. Be it the beauty of a flower to feed the soul, or the goodness of fruit to feed the body.

"This you know from your own experience and you also know that you will reap what you have sown. As it is with you, so it is with all. Those who do not allow seeds to grow will not reap the benefits of those seeds. Those who do not allow seeds to grow will reap the result of the seeds that they have sown in their stead. This is something which they must learn, it is something which all must learn.

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  "Those throughout history who have cast others into slavery did not know that they would themselves be reborn into slavery, and then be reborn into a position to end slavery, if they chose, or to once again be born a slave if they had not learned that no person should be a slave. So it is with all things.

"The universe is a circle with no beginning and no end, and yet the universe has both a beginning and an end. The universe forever travels in the circle. As the end of the circle is reached, so too is the beginning. It is so with all that is. It is difficult to understand the circular nature of all that is when souls have lost sight of the circle, and when souls chosen to embrace the linear existence. It is so regardless.

"You are too hard on yourself, my son. You are looking for yourself to be perfect, but you cannot be perfect whilst you are within the earth plane. It is the imperfection of the earth plane that allows those to learn. If you had attained perfection, you would have no reason to remain on the earth plane. You would be ready to take your place within the one that is all. This state of purity that you call perfection will be obtained by all before they ascend to the higher plane and become part of the oneness, which I am.

"You must be patient with yourself, as I am patient with you, as I am patient with all. Learning patience and understanding for yourself is the way to learn patience and understanding for all.

"You are pulled strongly towards those you are bonded to. As you become aware, you become more aware of your direct bonds, and you become more aware of the bond, the thread of God within all things. Becoming aware is but a first step and you must become aware of your awareness. You must learn to see all for exactly what it is. You must look passed the illusion, and you must look through the illusion to see the reality of existence."

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Later that day, I understood that my business truly was a negative environment. I understood that my business drained my energy, which was one of the reasons that I did not like being within my business. It was also one of the reasons why I needed to be within my business at this point in time. I needed to learn how to retain my energy. I needed to learn how to draw my energy from within. I needed to learn not to allow others to take my energy. I needed to learn to control my awareness of the things around me. I needed to see the things around me as they really were, and I needed to accept the things around me as they were.

I was starting to remember a little more detail from my previous lives. I remembered the pleasure that Bill had derived from hearing the bones in my face crack, when he struck me with the rifle.

"Awareness is a process, you need to become aware of 'what' before you can understand 'why'. After you understand what and why, you must understand the true nature of awareness, and you must learn to accept your awareness without a desire to act on your awareness. Awareness is, and that is all. Awareness does not require action. This must be learned. It is the same for all."

With these words God had told me exactly what would occur as my awareness grew, but once again I neither understood their meaning nor did I have any concept of what would occur or how long my journey would take. As I reflect at the end of my journey, I can see that I knew so little, but at this time I had believed that I knew so much.

"Wisdom fosters wisdom. As you apply the wisdom which you have gained through understanding, your wisdom grows. The application of wisdom in all things allows wisdom to grow in respect of all things. Knowledge leads to understanding, which in turn leads to more knowledge, and therefore more understanding. The application of knowledge and understanding leads to wisdom, and the application of wisdom leads to more wisdom. As with knowledge and understanding, wisdom lies within all, because I am wisdom and I am within all.

"Know this and accept this, and you will learn wisdom through this knowledge. Always continue to look inwards, because it is only through looking inwards that you can truly see outwards. The difficulties that you still face are difficulties created by yourself, and only you can remove your difficulties. So it is with all. Let your difficulties go my son. Remove your remaining illusions through seeing your remaining illusions for what they are, and no more. You know this is so, and it is so for all.

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  "All illusions are created by those who live within the illusions, because it is the illusions which create the environment in which all learn. All souls know what they need to learn, and all souls create a learning environment accordingly.

"Ultimately, what all must learn is that the environment has been created by each so that they will learn. When they are able to learn this, they are able to remove the environment that is an illusion, and with it remove that which is blocking the light which is within all.

"It is not possible to look within when the view within is hidden from sight. The deeper within you look, the deeper within you are able to look.

"You are still holding on to your doubts, my son. With all you have learned and all you have seen, you still hang on to doubts. Remove your doubts, let your doubts go and float freely within the depths of your being. If you do this, you will learn that you can float freely in the majesty of all that is.

"You continue to ask if what is occurring is real, but I ask you if what is occurring is not real, how else do you explain what has happened to you? You can give me no answer, because what has happened has happened, and therefore what is occurring must be real. There is no other explanation.

"You wonder how you are supposed to conduct yourself. You wonder if you should approach a situation this way or that way, and yet you know because you have learned how to conduct yourself. You know to approach all situations, to see all situations, as they are, and to approach all situations accordingly. You will either approach a situation correctly or you will learn, so any approach is correct as long as you base this approach on reality and not on illusion. If you do approach a situation based on illusion, you will learn that it is in fact an illusion, so that approach will also be correct from the perspective of where your awareness sits at that point in time. Your awareness will increase with all that you experience, so when you worry which approach is right, you worry about an illusion, because all approaches are right in their own way.

"You continue to impose restraints on yourself by attempting to view what is circular from the linear perspective. You must be aware of the linear perspective because you exist on a linear plane, but you must learn to view as circular that which is circular. All must learn this, and all must learn everything that you have learned, and everything that you will learn.

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  "You know that this text, which in many ways is an introduction, a beginning, will be complete when it is complete and yet you still concern yourself about when it will be complete. 'When' only exists in the linear environment of the earth plane. So in reality, 'when' has no place in the circular nature of existence. What is, has always been and will always be. 'When' has no bearing on what is, and no bearing on reality.

"Listen to my words, for my words are your words. My words come from within you, because I am within you. Because my words come from within you, they are also your words. I am within you and one day you will be within me. We are the same, but we are also separate. Just as the drop of water is part of the ocean and the ocean is the drop of water, so it is with God and with all.

"Despite all that you know, you stubbornly hang on to things that are of no use to you, but you hang on to them because they are of use to you. It is your perception, your self-imposed deception of their use that you must let go of. It is this perception, this illusion, which is your problem and is the problem of all.

"Sometimes my words are confusing to you, but how can this be so when they are also your words? You have the understanding of all within you, and so you must have the understanding of my words within you. They are also your words and this is so with all. All are the same. Find my words within you, and know that what is within you is so.

"Your awareness now includes awareness simultaneously, on many different levels, so it is with all and it will be with all. Your awareness now includes awareness of all things, on all planes, and on all levels. As you have now learned, as your awareness grows, so your awareness grows.

"You, like most, hang on to fears and yet you have nothing to fear, because nothing can harm you except yourself. Your physical body can be harmed, but your physical body is linear and temporary, so physical pain, discomfort or harm is temporary, as you yourself have learned through many lifetimes. Only your soul is real and your soul can only be harmed by yourself. So all that there is to fear is yourself, and why should you fear yourself? Fear is not real, so you cannot have fear. Fear is not based on what others can do, for others can do nothing. Fear is based on what each will do to themselves as a result of the actions of others, but if you do nothing to yourself, you have nothing to fear.

"You hang on to your anchors. How can your boat sail on the winds and flow with the tide of existence while your anchor is limiting movement to the length of the anchor rope? Lengthening the rope allows more movement, but this is still restrictive. The only way you can truly sail with the wind and flow with the tide of existence is to cut the ropes to your anchors. Remove all limitations of movement, and then you will see all that there is to see, and you will be all that there is to be. You can do this and all can do this who choose to cut their anchor ropes."

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That night I again found myself wanting to find a way to live a simple and peaceful existence away from the artificial world.

God said, "You must continue to exist in the way that you exist, my son. It is the only way."

I reflected on the weight of my burden.

God said, "Your burden is only heavy when you choose to make your burden heavy."

When I had been the Indian, I had needed to bury my knowledge deep within, because having seen illusions for what they are, I could no longer see illusions as illusions. I needed to see illusions and again learn that illusions were illusions so that I could tell my story, and guide any who sought to know the truth.

I was so close, and I had come so far, but I still had a long way to go.

"When an enlightened soul, who through awareness has become a part of God, chooses for whatever reason to reincarnate, God, in purest form has in fact reincarnated, because that enlightened soul is God, and God is that enlightened soul.

"All are the sons and daughters of God, because all are created from the seed of God. God is the very essence of life, God is the creator of all things because God is all things. God is not a being, as you know it. God is an essence, the essence of life.

"Proof of what I am is not possible, what I am cannot be proven to you or to any, but all can prove my existence to themselves by finding me within themselves. This is the only proof possible, because without acceptance of the truth there can be no proof, and with acceptance of the truth no further proof is required."

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The following morning God said, "Do not be concerned about what you do not know. You know all, you are only unaware. This is what must be learned, not knowledge but awareness, because the knowledge is there. It is awareness that is lacking, but it is through awareness that knowledge is gained.

"The most complex riddle is no longer a riddle once the answer is known. Until the answer is known, the riddle seems to have no answer, so it is with the riddle of life. Discover the answers within yourself and the riddle ceases to exist. Until you discover the answer, there seems no solution to the riddle.

"Despite all you have let go of, there is much you choose to hang on to. You must let go of all, my son. You know this and yet still you cling to your illusions. You will not know how much you hang on to, until you choose to release it from your grasp. You hold on to the linear nature of your earth plane like a security blanket, which is providing false security. Be aware of this, and let go of the useless blanket. Accept the circular nature of existence which is within your own awareness.

"Concern yourself with nothing, because there is nothing to concern yourself with. Let the love flow from you at all times, let the love wash out from your soul. Let the love flow and wash away all things that are not love. Know that what others feel is unimportant, know that only love is required. Allow your love to overwhelm all that remains. Do this, my son, because all must do this and all must know this.

"You are both at the beginning of awareness and near the end of awareness, such is the circular nature of all awareness. Know this and understand the circular nature of all that is."

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This was another statement for which I did not have any concept of the true meaning of the words. After I had completed my circle and as I completed one final review of my notes, I knew exactly what was meant by those words. In fact, their meaning had become very clear.

Later that morning I reflected on all that had occurred. I looked within myself for the answers which I knew were there, but they were answers which I could not see. I was still viewing events from a linear perspective. I had been given the seeds of events which were to take place, seeds to teach me that the linear perspective of the earth plane was an illusion. However, despite learning and relearning that the linear perspective of the earth plane was an illusion, I still clung to the linear perspective of the earth plane.

Each time that I would learn, and let go of an illusion, I would then desperately grasp another illusion, fearful of losing my illusions which were only necessary for me to learn, that the earth plane is an illusion.

I continued to concern myself with 'when', even though I had learnt that 'when' was unimportant. I attempted to push myself to do things which I need not do, and I continued to attempt to apply my new awareness before I was ready, knowing that I would only have to apply the same awareness again when I was ready. I still had very much to learn.

"The circle of life is complete, and has always been complete. Any and every given point on the circle is both the beginning and the end. The circle was complete, but the circle continued to grow, to become an ever increasing circle as God grew. Each time that a soul becomes enlightened, the circle grows a little, as does God, whose very essence is the circle of life. It is not life which has a limited existence, it is only the learning environment called the earth plane which has a limited existence. After the earth plane has fulfilled its purpose, the earth plane will cease to exist as the earth plane is understood from the perspective of the earth plane, but life will continue. Those who have not found their way back to the higher plane to become a part of God, will continue to exist within God. The time of ending will also be a time of beginning, such is the nature of things. What has always been, always will be.

"Much has been shown to you, but there is so much more you have not seen."

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The following morning God again spoke, "There is very little that occurs which is what has been termed; 'The will of God.' Most of what occurs is the will of the individual soul, but I am within each soul, so it is also the will of God. I am asked to remove suffering from those who suffer, but it is they who chose to suffer. It is they who reap what they have sown. Each soul is driven to learn of their own awareness, and ascend to the higher plane. Each soul must experience suffering to learn of the effects of suffering. Each soul must learn all, and return to the pure love from which they were created. Souls have individual will, their individual will is part of their existence. When souls have learned all, their individual will is to become pure love, because they have learned that pure love is the only reality. The reality of pure love must be learned, so 'worlds' were created to allow such learning in a controlled environment.

"Without individual will, those would become mass and there is no mass, only the essence of life. Individual will combines to become collective will, which is also what I am. I am the ocean and without each drop of water, the ocean would not exist. What is an individual drop, collectively becomes the ocean. The drop and the ocean are different, but the drop and the ocean are also the same. You chose to fulfil your role and you chose how this role would be fulfilled, because I am a part of the drop and you are a part of the ocean.

"It was known that you needed to have insecurities, and that you needed to endure difficult lifetimes so that things could be left on the bridge to your soul for you to find. You needed to create new illusions, so that you would discover your illusions. If you had been sent amongst those on the earth plane, and if you had told them the way of things, their acceptance of your message would have been more difficult. Your words, like those of previous teachers, would not have been understood. You needed to re-experience all, so that you would 'discover' the pieces of the truth and explain each piece of the truth. You needed to not just explain the existence of the pieces of the truth, but how the pieces of the truth are found on the earth plane.

"The path for all is the same, but the path for each is different. All have to find the truth which is the same, but all have to find the truth within themselves, in their own way, which is different.

"All must look deep within themselves and locate their own insecurities, and all must reflect on their own lifetime, to find that the insecurities are not real, but an illusion created by themselves. All can see the truth if they look, because the truth is within all. All must remove those things which hide what you have termed the bridge to the soul, the link between the physical existence and the real existence, and all must remove what has been left on the bridge to the soul. Only by removing all that is blocking the light, can all allow the light to shine from within them.

"All must find their soul, because one cannot truly find God without first finding their soul. I exist within each soul.

"All must do what you have done, all must look deep and allow what is within to surface, but all must be patient. Knowledge and awareness must be allowed to surface. Knowledge and awareness cannot be forced out. Only when each is ready to allow knowledge and awareness to surface, will knowledge and awareness surface. You have learned this and as it is with you, so it is with all. All are the same, but all are individual.

"All are drops that can form a part of the ocean, if they find their way to the ocean. All remain individual drops, the same as the next drop, but different to the next drop. Each drop is individual.

"All are created in my image, and yet all have attempted to create me in their image, through lack of understanding and lack of awareness. The one known as the son of God is revered, and yet all are the sons and daughters of God, so all should be revered. They say that God is both the father and the son, and this is so, but it is so with all.

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  "It is said that many teachers who have been amongst the people have been close to God and God has spoken to them. All are equally close to God, all may speak with God, as you have. You and other teachers have found God within and have become aware of the truth. This awareness has been confused with closeness. All are close, because I am within all, but not all are aware.

"The world as it was once known, has ceased to exist before, and has now been all but forgotten. The two great continents that once were have ceased to exist as they were and the world as it was known came to an end. Some who were there, and are still on the earth plane, remember. Most of those souls who existed in that world are now within the one. When that world ended, those that remained began a new existence in a new world. Following the end was the new beginning as the circle turned, and as it was, so it will be again when the circle continues. It is so with this world, and it is so with other worlds. The learning environment fulfils its purpose, and the old is replaced with the new.

"There are souls who have not become aware, who have not learned for 50,000 earth plane years or more, ever going from one lifetime to the next, ever experiencing, never learning. This must surely be what is termed as hell, ever suffering without knowing why they have chosen to suffer.

"Those ascending in the time of the earth plane as it is now known have been few, but it will soon be many. The higher plane, the heaven which is God, will soon swell again, as souls become aware and ascend to form part of the one. This will allow the pure love to grow, because within the pure love the need for pure love is insatiable. Yet this need is so pure, that the need can never outweigh the purity, and nothing less than pure love can satisfy the hunger for pure love.

"You still concern yourself with the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you, and yet the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you exist for you to learn, what you have not learned. Embrace the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you, because you created the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you to assist your learning. Be thankful that the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you exist, because without the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you, you would have no environment in which to learn. Embrace the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you, and use the aspects of the earth plane that trouble you for the purpose for which you have created them.

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  "Do not punish yourself when you fail to learn, because you have learned that you have failed to learn, and therefore you did learn, but you learned something different. Despite all you have learned, you have much to learn. You have been shown when you will have learned what you need to learn, that is how long it will take you to learn, because that is how much you need to learn, or to become aware of. Yet you know this, just as you know that the linear nature of the earth plane has no bearing on the circular nature of existence. So all you have done is failed to learn what you have learned.

"You yourself have spent many hours looking within and retrieving knowledge, but knowledge does not become awareness, until you allow knowledge to surface. You concern yourself about when you will allow knowledge to surface, because knowledge often surfaces when you think that you should be doing something else, but you yourself chose the timing of your awareness. You must learn that what you think you should be doing, is not as important as you would have it be. You yourself have created the learning environment so that you will learn. It is so with all souls, you are no different.

"You question why those in your life have provided you with keys to your awareness, when the keys to your awareness were needed, but you yourself have arranged for the keys to your awareness to be provided through direct communication with their souls. However, despite arranging for the keys to your awareness to be provided, you are unaware that you have arranged for the keys to your awareness to be provided. If you were aware that you had arranged for the keys to your awareness to be provided, you would not need other souls to provide you with the keys to your awareness. You would provide your own keys to your awareness. You are not yet able to provide your own keys to your awareness, because you are unaware how to provide your own keys to your awareness, and it is so with all souls.

"You have learned much knowledge that is within you. There are many things that you can remember, many things that you know that you can do, but you have not remembered how to do these things. You have not become aware of how to do the things that you can remember, but you yourself block this knowledge because you know that you are not ready to receive this knowledge. It is so with all souls.

"You have left much undone that you desire to do in respect of the earth plane, and even when given the opportunity to do what you have left undone, you do not do that which remains undone. Then you worry that something is not done, but that something is only not done so that you will learn that it is not important. You have created your own learning environment, and it is so with all souls. Much with you is as it is, so that you will learn that you create your own learning environment, and so that you will gain understanding. All create their own learning environment without understanding that they create their own learning environment. All create environments to learn and if they fail to learn, they recreate the environment, lifetime after lifetime until they do learn. You know this, you yourself have created and recreated the same environment, lifetime after lifetime so that you would learn that you create your own learning environment, and teach that all create their own learning environment.

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  "Consider the environment in respect of your business, you have created that environment as that environment relates to you, to assist in your learning. You have subsequently altered that environment, as that environment relates to you, as your learning needs have changed. You know that you remain within that environment to learn, and you now understand that your environment is self created to learn from. It is so with all souls.

"Many souls do not like the environment which they themselves are in, and yet they created their own environment so that they would learn. Only they can change their environment, and they can change their environment by learning. What they have to learn, is what they have to learn, and what they have to learn has no bearing on any other soul. Only they know what they have to learn, but they must look within to know what they have to learn. It is the only way.

"Consider an example. Those who choose to smoke and die of lung cancer have done so by choice. They have chosen parents to give them the genetic characteristics to make them susceptible to lung cancer, and yet they also choose to smoke. This enables them to learn that they can intentionally cause themselves harm. Others choose to smoke so that they will cease smoking, and learn how to overcome a habit. Still others choose to smoke purely for the experience of chemical pleasure and these select bodies that are not susceptible to the toxins within cigarettes. Many have chosen one tool for different reasons.

"Drugs artificially heighten unbalanced awareness, but drugs are not the path to awareness, only enlightenment is the path to awareness. Those who choose to take drugs have chosen to experience drug use, that is all. Those souls whose bodies cease to exist as a result of drugs has chosen an environment where those who love them have chosen to learn about loss. Nothing is by chance, all is by choice. Learning is choice. Those who do not learn have chosen not to learn, but are unaware of their choice.

"All learning environments have been created by all, and mostly all are not consciously aware of why such an environment has been created. You yourself have created environments of which you are currently unaware, but you have created the environments nevertheless. You will become aware of why you have created each environment when you are ready to become aware of why you have created each environment. Many environments are only created so that you will learn that you have more to learn. It is so with all souls.

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"You have learned that you did in fact look deep yesterday to learn all you have become aware of today, but yesterday you did not think that you had done so, because you were unaware of what you had learned. The environment that you created yesterday was done to allow you to become aware of that environment today.

"The solitude that has been created around you was created by you, because you needed to focus inwards. You created the very solitude that you yourself chose to create, because solitude was the environment that you needed to look inwards, and to learn that all answers are contained within.

"Despite learning that you have created each environment, and despite becoming aware that you have created each environment, you continue to be concerned about aspects of your own environment which you have created to learn within. However, those very concerns have been created for this one purpose and this one purpose only. You are only concerned about the aspects of your environment so that you will learn that you have created both the environment and the concerns. It is so with all souls."

I questioned why I was not aware of what I needed to learn from each and every aspect within my environment.

"You have not yet sought to become aware of this knowledge. All knowledge is within you, and all knowledge will be released to you when you are ready to become aware of all knowledge. Your path has been difficult and your path continues to be difficult, but a difficult path is your choice. Each day you release yourself from one difficulty or another as you no longer need to hold on to each difficulty, but those difficulties which you still clutch, you still need, because you have much to learn.

"You are not yet as you wish to be. You are not yet as you would like to be. You are not yet as you have chosen to be. However, you will be all of these things, because you have chosen to be all of these things. You will be what you have chosen to be when you choose to be what you have chosen to be, but you will not be what you have chosen to be whilst you choose to retain that of your learning environment, which you still need to learn. Without such learning you cannot be as you have chosen to be."

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As I reflected on this statement during my final review of my notes, I could see that when God made this statement, I did not have any concept of what I had 'chosen to be'. When I become aware of what it was I had 'chosen to be', I had difficulty accepting that I could in fact be what I had 'chosen to be'.

"You have chosen to be free of all restraints from the earth plane, but you cannot be free of the restraints, until you free yourself from the restraints. You cannot be free of all restraints, until you learn what you do not know.

"More and more you discover the circular nature of existence. What you have termed ironic, is in fact circular. A circle has no beginning and no ending, and yet at any point on the circle, there is both a beginning and ending. You know this and you are aware of this, but you still do not understand this.

"What you know, you do not do, because you have not learned to do, such is the nature of existence. How can any understand the circle when they still only look upon the line. You have learned that the line is part of the circle, but you have not allowed yourself to see the circle. Nor will you see the circle whilst you continue to look only at the line. You think because you know that the line is part of the circle that you know much, but until you see the circle you know little.

"As your own awareness increases you see more of the line and you understand more of the nature of the line, but a line is still all that you see. All see the line that is part of the circle to some degree, which varies. Some see only the spot on the circle which is their line now, unaware that the spot is only a spot. You have chosen to see much of the line, and all can chose to see the line. Each day you choose to see a little more of the line, but it is still the line that you see and the line is all you will see, until you choose to see the circle.

"You have seen much, and you know that you have seen much but you have no concept of how much more there is to see. You know how long it will take you to see the circle, and you have shown this to yourself. Still you expect to see the circle from your current vantage point, where the circle cannot be seen.

"All must know that being aware of the existence of the circle is little more than the end of the beginning of awareness.

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  "Much of what you know you can do, much of what you remember doing you do not attempt. You will not allow yourself to attempt, not through a fear of not doing, but through a fear of doing. You know that you are not ready to do. So you block the knowledge of how until you are ready to receive this knowledge. Knowledge without awareness and understanding, is overwhelming."

When God explained this to me, I accepted the term 'overwhelming' without much thought. However, as I continued to draw on my memories of my previous lifetimes, I would recall being overwhelmed by knowledge. Sometime after I would recall being overwhelmed by knowledge, I would become aware of why and how knowledge without awareness and understanding, is overwhelming.

During my transition, there had been many things that had confused me. Some things which I had been told would occur by spirit guides or other psychic means had occurred, in fact most things which I had been told would occur, had occurred. However, some things which I had been told would occur, had not occurred. Everything I had known within me would occur, had happened. Many of my problems had been caused by conflicting information which was usually the result of told something which I had not really believed was right, because I knew otherwise.

Late that night, I reflected on the problems caused by the conflicting information which I had been provided with.

God said, "You needed to learn to trust only what is within yourself, all must learn to learn to trust only what is within themselves. You were relying on other sources and doubting yourself. How else would you have known not to doubt yourself, if you had not created the environment wherein you would learn not to doubt yourself?

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  "You have learned that there is a reason for all things, but you have not learned to wait until you are aware of the reason for all things. You have been shown that you need to wait until you are aware of the reason for all things, many times. However, you fail to learn that you need to wait until you are aware of the reason for all things, so you continue to create environments for yourself to learn within. You have learned that you may talk to other souls, both on the earth plane and the spirit plane, to arrange for events to occur. Why did you not become aware that you could arrange for events to occur simply to teach yourself something, especially when it was something as important as to trust only what you know within you? To trust only what you know within you is, in many ways, the most essential lesson of all. Your own life has taught you to trust only what you know within you, but you have continued to create such environments, because you had not learned to trust only what you know within you.

"You see the line that forms the part of the circle, but can you not also see the gaps that exist in the line? Do not despair at yourself, for you are now learning. What you must learn, all must learn."

The following morning God spoke again, "The devil or satan is a convenient cause of all things that are in fact created on the earth plane. Blaming the devil is often used to explain what cannot be explained, much of what I have taught, through the teachers I have sent, has been altered. Sometimes with a change of word to give a meaning that can be understood, which is different from reality. Sometimes much has been removed to serve the purpose of those with the power to remove the words from the teaching. However, the essence of the truth within in my words remains within the previous teachings. Those who open their souls may find the truth within the teachings, even though the teachings now contain many untruths.

"Even those who have shared the truth with others with true conviction in their hearts, have often distorted what is true through lack of understanding.

"Your world as it was known has ended before and your world will end again, but the nature of the earth plane is that of a classroom. A learning environment that has nearly fulfilled its purpose and will soon, by my standards, make way for a new classroom, where learning can begin again for those who choose to learn.

"There are those amongst you who existed in previous incarnations of the earth plane and still exist within this incarnation. Trapped upon the earth plane, unable to find the truth, unable to become the truth, unable to ascend to my higher plane, and unable to become a part of the one.

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  "You yourself still question the truth of my existence, despite having found me within you. That is how you are continuing to learn. Question, but do not doubt. If you question despite what you have learned it is because others who have not found me within themselves will question.

"This is how it is meant to be, you must question to receive answers. I tell you and all who would question, to question self, not others because only you have the answers to your questions. For only you have the answers to your questions within you. You ask the questions so that you will find the answers that you are ready to find. It is this way with all souls. All have the answers to their questions within them, and all must look within themselves for the answers to their own questions.

"You have concerns because of the linear existence of the earth plane, but you are tied to the linear existence of the earth plane, and you will continue to be tied to the linear existence of the earth plane until you see the circle. You know of the circle's existence, but you do not see the circle. There is much to learn, before you are able to see the circle.

"You still look to others for answers, but this does not make sense. How can others have answers if they are unaware? Only you have the answers within you, because I am within you. Even souls on the spirit plane do not have answers for you, if souls on the spirit plane did have answers for you, they would be on the higher plane. On the spirit plane souls still have illusions despite loosing their physical existence of the earth plane. On the spirit plane souls carry with them those things which they have not released. On the spirit plane souls fulfil what has been left undone at their passing. On the spirit plane souls pay their debts in part, and then rest before returning to the earth plane to continue learning. Some souls exist on the spirit plane for a short time, and other souls exist of the spirit plane for a long time. On the spirit plane souls cannot learn, because souls cannot feel. It is through feeling on the earth plane that souls learn, because pure love is a feeling to be learnt. The feeling of pure love for all things, regardless of their type or nature is what must be learnt, before a soul can become pure love. You yourself have had moments of feeling of pure love for all things, so that you know that feeling of pure love for all things is real.

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  "The moments of feeling pure love that you have experienced reflect your awareness, and as your awareness increases so do your moments of feeling pure love, until your awareness is such that pure love consumes all other feelings. That is when you will enter the higher plane. It is so with you, and it is so with all souls.

"You will reach a point where pure love will consume you 90% of the time, and you will become frustrated with the 10%, unaware that it is this very frustration that is causing the 10%. When you finally learn this, the 10% will disappear and you will discard your body, and ascend to be one with the higher plane, which is me. For you, it will be at the end of this lifetime, but you know this. You know that there will be many of your earth plane years before this occurs, and yet you still become impatient. Surely this must tell you how much you still have to learn. It is so with all souls. All souls must learn and become aware of all and this takes many lifetimes, but each lifetime holds the key to awareness. Awareness can be found in one lifetime, but becoming aware in one lifetime is very difficult to do and is nearly impossible. The more lifetimes that it takes to become aware, the more lifetimes that it will take to become aware, because unlearning what has been learned incorrectly is more difficult than learning.

"When you yourself discovered the pure love within you, did you not also have an overwhelming desire to share that love with all, but you did not know how? The insatiable desire that is to share pure love is part of the nature of pure love. Pure love grows through sharing. I am that pure love which you felt, and I have that insatiable desire to share pure love. I feel pure love for all things, because I am pure love, but I can only share pure love with those who become pure love. I desire all to become pure love so that I can grow. The only thing that can feed pure love, is pure love. Pure love is the essence that all things are created by, and pure love is the reason why all things were created. Pure love is the true essence of life itself, because I am pure love and I am the very essence of all life.

"All those souls who have experienced pure love, even for a fleeting moment will know this to be true, because there is nothing greater than pure love. Pure love is contained within all souls, if they would only allow pure love to flow from within themselves.

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  "You have questioned whether the words which I have given you are the words of the entity that has been created in the minds of many and termed 'the devil'. I ask you to look at the words that I have given you and the awareness that you have found within yourself. All you will see is pure love, light and truth. All that you are being told, is to look for what has been called the 'kingdom of God' within you. There is no evil in my words, only goodness. The goodness in my words is that which is pure love. See the goodness in your own words, and see pure love within your soul.

"You are the soul, all are the soul. The soul exists within the body, which the soul has created to gain experience. It is the soul that is real, the body is the illusion. The truth cannot be seen with the mind, the truth can only be seen with the soul. It is the soul that is the truth, and the mind that is the illusion.

"You still become scared because you fear the unknown, and yet this is a nonsense because there is no unknown. Your fears are generated by the limited nature of your awareness, and your fears persist because you hold on to your fears even with the knowledge that you do have of the true and illusionary nature of your fears. You must ask yourself why you hold on to your fears, because you have the answer within. You have knowledge of all things within you if you choose to see this knowledge. There can be no unknown and there can be no fear, except that which you choose to create. All such creations are done for your learning, and if you desire to let go of your fears, you must first understand why you have created your fears, and what you desired to learn by their creation. You must find why you have created your fears, because when you have found why you have created your fears, you will have learned and you can release your fears. You know this to be so."

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That morning I reflected on all that God had said and I realized that it had only been one week, almost to the minute, since I had remembered my agreement on the mountain 300 years earlier. With all that I had learned, that one week had felt like a lifetime.

That night I had issues on my mind, issues from the past which had no reason to be on my mind.

God said, "You have let go of much, but you still hold on to much. You must let it all go. You must allow the pure love within you to grow so that pure love overpowers all other things within you. Pure love is of the soul, not of the body. You must remember this and you must allow pure love to flow from within.

"All of the times that you prayed, all the times that you begged for what you called your transition to be over, did you not realize that you and only you had the ability to allow your transition to be over?"

Suddenly, my transition was no longer important. I knew that my journey was far from over, but I was now ready to really begin my journey, and to start fulfilling my destiny. What I had believed for a long time was to be an ending, was only a beginning. I had endured a difficult journey, and what I had found at my Journey's End was a beginning.

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