The Joy of Now


	Jane was struggling with a new relationship. All that I could tell Jane was that she had known the man in a previous lifetime. I could not open myself up, and tell Jane any more. I agreed to see Jane early the following week. It proved to be a difficult evening. I was extremely tired, my eyes felt bruised. Physical ailments which I had long ago removed, returned. I could not understand why. When I arrived home that night I received a little good news, but as usual the good news was just enough to keep me going. I suspected that my difficulties had become so severe to force me to consult Sue. The following morning, I again found myself reflecting on Katerina. I questioned the point of our brief meeting. God said, "Your brief meeting was necessary for Katerina to awaken. Without your meeting, you would have not been aware of which key to deliver." I asked, "Why could you not have told me what to write to Katerina, like you did on other occasions?" "No, you would not have understood. You needed to see for yourself, and you needed to experience Katerina's perfume." Reluctantly, I accepted that God's explanation made sense. However, I knew that there was more to the explanation of why Katerina and my brief meeting had been necessary. "You are correct, you needed to experience that soulmates can be at vastly different levels of conscious awareness, and that when it is time, all will meet their soulmate, regardless of how unlikely that meeting is." Again I had to accept that God's explanation made sense, but I wondered why Katerina and I could not be together.

	"Why do you wonder why you cannot be with Katerina? You know that awakening can only occur during a period of solitude." God had made another point which I had to concede. I considered the letters that Katerina had written to me and their content. It was apparent that Katerina's letters had been written by Katerina's spirit. "Yes, you are correct." I considered the events of the previous day. I was beginning to understand what I needed to do. I knew that I needed to live now, within the environment which I was in, and I needed to release my fears of being trapped within my environment. I had released my fears of being trapped within my environment previously, if not permanently. I knew that part of the reason for the intensity of my experiences was to send me to Sue, as I suspected. Without the intensity of my experiences, I would have avoided seeking Sue's assistance. I felt that I should not need Sue's assistance. "You are very close to the truth in both respects." That morning, Anne rang me to seek my guidance with a problem. I again saw the pattern of everything turning in upon itself. This pattern of everything turning in upon itself was all around me. I saw the pattern of everything turning in upon itself clearly, and the pattern of everything turning in upon itself was far too coincidental to be anything but design. I saw that events for many involved in what had been described as my controlled environment, were developing to make me doubt everything that I had experienced and become aware of. I considered the difficulties of Jane and Anne, who were both were seeking my guidance and the responsibility scared me. Having acknowledged my fear, I was starting to see both situations clearly.

	It was apparent that the pattern of my own life was static. It did not matter if I awoke early or late I still attended the office at the same time. My time was utilised to communicate with God, and the time that I awoke was a clear indication of the volume of our discussions each morning. God said, "In terms of teachers becoming masters, your preparation is very intense and of a very short duration, which is necessary for the example to be condensed into this series of writing. You already know that your process of awareness should have commenced seven years before your process of awareness did commence, and that the intense concentration was necessary due to the delay. However, both the delay itself and the intense concentration that has followed, have been necessary." I understood God's explanation, but nevertheless I felt that there must be some point after which I would no longer need to experience such intense difficulties. "You have experienced how easy it is to miss a point. Others will also miss a point. The point of now is a very difficult point. Most start searching for answers when they are dissatisfied with now. Sometimes their now will change, and sometimes their now will not change. All must learn to appreciate the now and take joy from the now. Each now, each moment is different and each moment contains something for all who experience that moment. If it is necessary for now to remain as now is, many will think that they have failed in some way, just as you thought that you had failed. However, some will see from your example, that they have indeed not failed. "Many will believe that their difficulties will disappear on reaching the summit, but difficulties will only disappear, if difficulties are allowed to disappear. Those who do not allow their difficulties to disappear will believe that they have failed, but your example will show them that they have not failed. "Once again I say to you, if everything in your life occurred as you desired, to whom would those turn to, if everything in their life did not occur as they desired?

	"Many following a spiritual path would have been able to live now, and experience now, long before reaching this point, but many would not. Who would guide them if not you? "You become frustrated when I explain the necessity for certain experiences because you are the example, but my explanation is not for you. My explanation is for those who will follow. "Consider your journey. There have been many points where it has appeared that your journey was complete, and for some, their journey will be complete at each of these points. You know that for others the journey will not be complete, so you must continue to reach other points on your journey, for those who need to reach other points, for their journey to be complete. "It is also important that we continue to explain for those who have reached the point of full awareness on their journey, that the rest of your example is not necessarily for them. "Your thought that it was only possible for this communication to occur after you had made the arrangement to meet with my messenger Sue, is correct. If I had provided this explanation yesterday, you would not have made the appointment to consult Sue. It was necessary to drive you to make that appointment, because Sue has a message for you. "You are also correct in your thought that receiving messages from temporary bridges to the soul, such as Sue should not be necessary for you, but receiving messages from temporary bridges to the soul will be necessary for many, so receiving messages from temporary bridges to the soul is necessary for you.

	"Of course, it has not occurred to you that your contact with Sue, and the message which Sue delivers to you, will also be an important point on Sue's journey, or that although the message is delivered for you, parts of the message may relate to Sue. "You have not yet understood that much of what is now occurring is not for you, but is for those whom you are in contact with, and for those who will follow your path. "If not for your need to be an example, I would simply remove the blocks which I have in place. However, you have chosen to experience blocks, and you have chosen your path which is why you are an example. It was necessary for you to choose your path as an example, to repay what you had incorrectly viewed as a debt, it was and is also convenient to allow you to follow your chosen path. "Others do not have to choose to endure what you have endured, but some will choose to endure what you have endured, which is why you have chosen to endure what you have endured. Consider a soul who during their existence was responsible for the slaughter of many. They to will carry a great guilt with them for much of their existence. Do they not deserve guidance as well? "Very little of what has occurred is for you, you know this. How many times have you observed that you know better? Despite what you know, it was necessary to block your awareness, to push you to where you needed to be. How many times have I explained to you, that you will take every detour, every wrong turn, and every dead end on your journey. Detours, wrong turns, and dead ends, occur even after the summit has been reached, as you have discovered. "Your thought that the journey, the path, the mountain and the summit are only illustrations is correct. Such illustrations do however provide a point of reference for those who follow."

	As I drove to work that day, I was given clear messages for Jane and Anne. I reflected on my reactions to my environment, and I wondered if what I felt was correct. "You are too hard on yourself. How can you experience if you do not feel? It is important to feel, even when your feelings are negative. All feeling is experience, and therefore necessary. Use your experience, and then release your experience." That morning I felt even closer to Katerina than I normally felt. Our souls were without doubt attached. That morning, I also discovered that the alternate employment option which had been repeatedly thrown at me whenever I tried to walk away from it, had disappeared. I found the whole scenario fascinating. On the way my appointment with Sue that afternoon, I was told to provide Sue with a copy of my books, which I would do the following week. Sue began talking about Katerina. "Your lady is a very beautiful woman. God has created Katerina in this image for you to enjoy. You need to appreciate Katerina's beauty. You need to stop feeling guilty about Katerina's beauty. You will need to take Katerina's hand and guide her. Katerina is but a girl, and with your guidance Katerina will blossom into a woman. "There are aspects of Katerina that are challenging but you need the challenge of Katerina. For Katerina, you are the first real love, and Katerina's heart is very much attached to you. Katerina misses you greatly. Katerina will be with you in Australia and the red tape which separates you will be removed. You must have faith. You will marry Katerina.

	"Together you will do much travelling, and you will visit Notre Dame, the pyramids and Stonehenge together. Katerina struggles with English. Katerina must now read and learn, and Katerina will improve her English. You will be together. You have been together in previous lifetimes, but you know this. It is more than an ordinary union. Katerina is your soulmate and your union has already been blessed by God. "Katerina is the jewel and you are the light which reflects off Katerina, increasing her beauty. Katerina balances you, and you need each other." Sue told me that I was going to receive a surprise. Something for me. Sue said that it is all right to receive something for myself, because I had demonstrated my goodness. Sue said that I was far too hard on myself, and that I was concerned that I would stray from my path, but I could not stray from my path. The golden glow at the end of my path was far too large, and I could not avoid the golden glow. Sue explained that I was receiving much energy, and that everything would continue at a fast pace, and then really take off. Sue commented that my resources were stretched because of my trip, but not to be concerned because I would have another trip and be with Katerina again, before Katerina came to Australia. Sue explained that we would eventually live in Queensland, but we would travel a lot. Sue explained that my physical problems were mainly brought about because I was moving up to the next level of spiritual awareness. I would soon enjoy good health and well being. Sue told me not to be concerned about my weight. I must relax and allow everything to be. Sue told me that I had a lot more writing to do! Sue explained that George was still with me, but George was just a nuisance. Sue said that my spirit was too strong for George to cause any real damage, and that I should ask George to go to the light.

	Sue told me to enjoy the physical plane, because I was attached to the physical plane, and God created the physical plane to be enjoyed. Sue explained that I sought to soar spiritually, and that Katerina would give me the grounding which I needed. Sue explained that it was okay not to like someone's personality, and that someone's personality differed from the God-force within them. Sue gave me a message, and explained that I must think about the simple statement. "Learn to surrender." Sue explained that my only real problems were caused by me having expectations, and my tendency to analyse. I needed to allow myself to flow with whatever happened, to let things be. Sue also told me to expect contact from another spirit, Yuri. Finally, Sue delivered a message from Jesus, "My brother. You once walked with me and now I walk with you. This is your resurrection. We share the same light. We are brothers of the light." I knew that what I needed to do, was to surrender to the will of God. I had known much of what Sue had told me, and I did know that a soul's chosen character in any given lifetime, was not who that soul is. I rang Jane and I started to deliver the message which I had been given for her. Jane explained what was happening in her life at that time, and I did not want to deliver the message. However as Jane talked, I knew that I needed to pass the message on, which I did. After this I was back on track. I was relaxed and at peace.

	The following morning I overslept a little, but I remained at peace. I reflected on the previous day. I saw that part of my difficulty was caused because I was attempting to live up to God's promise, instead of allowing God to deliver God's promise to me. I reflected that the promise of God was contained not only within the Ten Commandments, but also in the teaching of others such as the Buddha. However, God's promise has been mirrored in most spiritual texts. God said, "You are correct, but you have forgotten not to judge yourself as well. You are very hard on yourself, and very judgemental of your actions. I do not judge you ,so what right do you have to judge yourself? "All that is required of you is to allow everything to be. Allow yourself to see and enjoy the pleasures of the earth plane. You have been told that you will enjoy the pleasures of the earth plane, but you feel that you should not enjoy the pleasures of the earth plane, because the pleasures of the earth plane are somehow not spiritual, or God-like. I tell you God created all things and therefore what God has created should be enjoyed. As I have explained previously, it is not having or appreciating nice things which is the issue. The issue is the importance which is placed on anything. Enjoy the pleasures of the earth plane, and appreciate the pleasures of the earth plane, but understand that the pleasures of the earth plane are not in themselves important. "I have shown you that the pleasures of the earth plane are not important to you, and as such you should appreciate the pleasures of the earth plane and enjoy the pleasures of the earth plane.

	"I have done much, and I have allowed events to transpire to demonstrate to you that the pleasures of the earth plane are not important to you. I allowed the seed to be sown that suggested that it was somehow wrong for your soulmate to be beautiful. You prevented yourself from truly appreciating Katerina's beauty because of this seed. You know that the pleasures of the earth plane are not important to you, and now I have demonstrated that the pleasures of the earth plane are not important to you, so that you have no doubt that the pleasures of the earth plane are not important to you. Now it is time for you to accept and appreciate the physical beauty of your soulmate. Katerina was created in this image for you to appreciate and enjoy. "I created an environment to give rise to your concerns, and I allowed your concerns to be dispelled within the same environment. Can you not see that you created those concerns, because you felt that it was ungodly to have a beautiful soulmate? If this was so, why would I create any beauty? "You are physically apart from your soulmate, but you are joined with your soulmate spiritually. It is necessary for Katerina and yourself to be apart at this time. I have demonstrated to you that you are not ready to be together, but I assure you that you will be together. "Do not think that what you now experience is a coincidence. Do you think that Katerina and yourself met before it was time to be together by accident? No, there were many reasons. Importantly, there is the experience of the joining with your soulmate within the example. If you had permanently joined with your soulmate physically, when you first met your soulmate, how would we provide an example for those who will not join with their soulmate physically, when they first met their soulmate? Do not underestimate the importance of your example. Allow everything to be.

	"Yes my friend, surrender yourself to me. Allow everything to occur as everything is foreseen and have no fear. Do not concern yourself if you appear to lose your way, you cannot lose your way. "You see the path stretched out before you, but there is much that you are not permitted to see. If you stumble, allow yourself to stumble. I will pick you up. You have assumed on more than one occasion that upon reaching the summit your journey is over, but your journey is not over. The path is stretching out before you, but the path is flat not steep. That is the difference. A flat path has it's obstacles too, but you do not see the obstacles. You are not looking for the obstacles, nor should you. You will encounter the obstacles, and overcome the obstacles when the obstacles arise. "Much of the joy which you have been promised, you push away because you feel, not understanding, that enjoyment is ungodly. Do not push joy away. Allow joy to come to you. Appreciate and enjoy the pleasures of the earth plane. "Nor should you be concerned that you push joy away. That you would push joy away was foreseen, as was your feeling of being unworthy, and of not deserving joy. What was foreseen is what has made you the example. "You believe that a master should act in a certain way and you are frustrated when you do not act in that way. How do you know what a master should act like? You will know what a master should act like only when you experience what a master does act like. What point of reference do you have? You know that many of the masters' teachings have been distorted and the reports of the masters' actions are misrepresented. The masters were all human and the masters all experienced everyday human difficulties. Consider the crucifixion of which you now recall the truth, and yet you have not considered Jesus any less of a master, because you know that the events were necessary.

	"You will become a master by allowing yourself to become a master, not by forcing yourself to become a master, which you cannot do anyway. However, you will become a master. "Do you think that it is convenient that it has been revealed to you at such an early stage that you would become a master? Consider those who will say; 'How can this be, this man is no master, he is just like me. A master is someone different, someone special'. Surely the purpose will be to allow the truth about masters to surface as your life unfolds, and to correct the image of the master in the minds of those who chose to see the truth. "Like many others you have an image that a master should not have difficulties with the characteristics chosen by some to experience on the earth plane. You see the choice of characteristics for what it is, and you understand why such characteristics are so chosen. However, this does not mean that you have to seek the company of those who have chosen characteristics that are negative or harmful. You do not condemn those who have chosen characteristics that are negative or harmful, but you are not required to enjoy the characteristics of all. Consider those known masters you were particularly close to, were they any different? "It is ironic that the religions which were initially established with the intention of making the path to God easier, have made the path to God harder by their teachings. However, the underlying principles are the key. It is that which has been added by man, that has created the difficulty." I reflected on two news stories which I had heard the previous evening. The first news story was about growing unemployment, and the need for the unemployed to be patient. The second news story was about the government spending several million dollars to tell people not to exercise their choice, to smoke.

	I wondered why the government of the day could not see the ridiculous nature of their actions. How many unemployed could have exercised their choice for work if those millions had been channelled into employment, instead of wasted on telling people not to smoke. Those who choose to smoke will smoke anyway, and the government does not really want people to stop smoking, because the government wants or perhaps needs the taxes paid on cigarettes. In this one simple example the true nature of the government was demonstrated, as was the strength of the push of those who were attempting to gain control of people by a means known as, political correctness. A method of control which will fail, as the attempts to gain control through force and fear have failed. I knew that one day we will see exactly what we are doing to maintain our fear based environment, and what we should do to create a love based environment. I knew that there will come a time when it will no longer be seen as necessary to control the lives of others, or attempt to control the lives of others. When we cease our attempts to control the lives of others, the world will at last find peace. Another aspect of society which will and must change is the population distribution. Many countries are overpopulated and under-resourced while other countries are over-resourced and underpopulated. In time the population of the world will be more evenly distributed, which will occur when the countries stop jealously guarding their borders and realise that people have the right to live wherever they please, subject to their chosen means. Much of the world's problems would be resolved by an even distribution of population, and the discontinuation of the artificial and illusionary borders which are called countries. How many people starve to death while in other parts of the world excess food is dumped? The world can sustain the world's population, which is God's design. We simply need to choose to allow the world to sustain the world's population. God said, "What you see will occur only when those who control the artificial borders release their fears. Much of the basis for those who govern the world in whatever form, is fear. All is based on fear. The difference in the world will occur when all is based on love. It is said that you and others who are based on love, view the world with rose coloured glasses. If this is so, then rose coloured glasses should be made available to all who would use them.

	"Understand that governments reflect the population. Governments are fear based, because the population has chosen to live fear based lives. If the population were to choose to live love based lives, then those in government would reflect love. The population will to choose to live love based lives, because there are many now seeking the truth, and therefore the love. "That the world is fear based is choice. A choice to experience a fear based world. That the world will change is also choice. Choice to experience a love based world. Either choice is neither right nor wrong, either choice is simply experience. That living within love is far more rewarding than living in fear is fact, and both love and fear need to be experienced to become aware of this fact. "There will come a time when souls no longer choose to experience starvation. Souls will no longer choose to experience starvation, when souls have experienced starvation enough, and do not need to experience starvation again. "The key to living in a love based society, is for each to choose to live a love based existence. The key to living in a love based society, is that simple. As more choose to live a love based existence, those who choose to live a love based existence will become the majority, and the basis of society.

	"No one person will or can change society. Each must make their own choice to live a love based existence and through the choice of individual souls, society will alter from fear based to love based. Society will alter from fear based to love based, because many are seeking a love based existence. However, it must be stressed that the choice of each individual, is individual." I needed to attend the office, and I was running later than I would have liked that day. "Do not think that it is an accident that your employment is such that you are where you are needed. Your former business partners do not understand you, and it has been necessary for you not to explain your true path, but you are not within the business by accident. Consider all that has occurred. Remaining within the business has not always been easy for you, but remaining within the business has allowed you to maintain an income, whilst you endure a very difficult period in your existence. "Do not underestimate what you have done for your former business partners, which is why your former business partners retain your services, when others would not retain your services. Through your former business is how I provide for you during this period, and I will continue to provide for you in this way for as long as is necessary. "Do not think that the circumstances of your life placed you within the business by accident. Your business environment has allowed you to do what must be done, and also allowed you to maintain an income. Your business has been very convenient in terms of the example. Your business environment is an environment which you should appreciate. You do not abuse your business environment, and you are very concerned for your former business. You do whatever you can do for your former business, within the limitations placed on you by your true task. Have no fear, your business environment will remain for you, as long as you require your business environment.

	"You have sown many seeds within your business environment. At times you have become frustrated, because the seeds which you have sown seem to have no effect, but as you have experienced and continue to experience seeds take time to germinate, and not all seeds germinate at the same time. Understanding the true nature of the seeds which you have sown, has been very important for you to experience. Your job is to sow the seeds. Your job is to provide the key. You know what your role is. Accept your role, and allow your role to be." As I finally drove to the office that day, God said, "George has now moved on." I began to become concerned that Katerina would not awaken. God simply said, "Have faith." I found the situation and the developments within the office easy to manage. I handled everything easily and clearly. That afternoon, I spoke with Anne. Anne's problems seemed to be sorting themselves out, as I had known that Anne's problems would rectify themselves. It was a quiet evening. I collected my boys and we spent a quiet night exchanging news from the previous month. I missed a call from Katerina through the night. I had been asleep, and I did not reach the telephone in time. Obviously I was not meant to talk with Katerina that night.

	The following morning, I reflected that Katerina was in my mind often. Spiritually, Katerina and I were very close. I was not negative and missing Katerina, because spiritually we were very much together. I reflected on some events of the previous day and evening, and I saw how the events of the previous day and evening had been a repeat of previous events. However, this time I handled the repeated events in a more positive manner than I had previously. I noted the events, I recognised the events for what they were, and then I let the events go. I also saw that the events had been specifically presented to me, to demonstrate that despite my concerns I had indeed made progress. That morning, I was provided with a message for both Sue and Nancy, in respect of their spiritual work. I reflected that I had ceased being Rose's earth guide, but I did have a purpose in what Rose now needed to learn. I also knew that some point in the future, I would again be required to guide Rose. It was a morning of messages. I was given a message for Billy, one of the prisoners I wrote to. It was a message that I would deliver the next time I wrote to Billy. I did not know at this point, that it would be a very long time before I wrote to Billy, or contacted Billy again. I delivered the message which I had for Nancy and I prepared the message for Sue. I retained some of my physical ailments, but I knew that all I needed to do, was to allow my physical ailments to go. God said, "Relax and allow all to be."

	Underneath the surface, I felt an incredible well being and fitness. I spent a quiet day with my boys and my mother. I had much to do around the home and I was debating what to do first. God said, "There is time enough for all of that. Relax now, rest." I questioned God's advice. "Rest, there is much to come." I received a subtle reminder that I should have no expectations, because I had expected to hear from Katerina that night but I did not. The following morning, I reflected that although I had not physically spoken with Katerina for some time, we were very close spiritually. Later that morning, the circumstances of my life gave me another subtle reminder of the futility of expectations. God explained, "All souls are the same. Much is said about equality of all races of people. All souls are equal. Souls who are born into an oppressed race, have chosen to experience existing as part of an oppressed race. Many souls have already experienced existing as part of the dominant race. All is experience. "Within western society, the issue of discrimination has swung like a pendulum in the other direction. Many societies which once discriminated against minorities, now discriminate in favour of minorities. Two sides of the same coin, which demonstrates the basic principle of experience.

	"Some are highlighting the inequality of reverse discrimination, and are being labelled racist, but it is the push for true equality, and for everyone to be accepted as equal, that will shape the future of a more peaceful existence. Soon western society will experience existence of true equality. "It is issues like the belief that all souls are not equal, which prevent the accidental discovery of space travel. When such issues are resolved, great breakthroughs will be experienced. "There will come a time when the sovereignty of borders will be seen for what it is, an illusion. All will reside where they choose with an even distribution of resources. The inequalities of distribution of earth resources has been convenient to allow souls to experience suffering and hunger. In terms of the earth plane much of the difficulties which were chosen to be experienced, have now been experienced. "As a collective group, souls are now beginning to choose to live in a fair, equitable society. Thus the earth plane is moving to a fair and equitable position. The choice of the individual changes the circumstances of that individual, and the choice of the majority changes the circumstances of the majority. "It is because of the choice of the majority in conjunction with the increase in the number of souls seeking the truth, that the truth is now being found within. The timing of these events is not a coincidence, because at a higher level, souls are aware of the limited time remaining in this phase of the earth plane. "During the next millennium, souls will experience a peaceful and joyful existence, in preparation for ascending to the higher plane.

	"Each soul need only look around them to see the changes taking place. However, changes need to take place over a period of time. Changes cannot take place overnight, because changes like all things must be experienced. "Now that the disease of artificial fulfilment has begun to consume itself, reality is being sought. Within five lifetimes the disease of artificial fulfilment will have almost consumed itself, and most souls will live a peaceful and joyful existence and view the world as the world is. "Have no concern for the future of the earth plane. Everything has progressed as everything was foreseen, and much negativity has been experienced. Much of the remaining time of the earth plane, will be the experience of the positive nature of the earth plane, and the true beauty of that which I have created. "Soon it will be time for you to undertake a spiritual journey. You have known that you would experience this journey for many years, but only now do you begin to understand the true nature of your journey." After God's explanation, it was a quiet day. I alternated between being at peace, and struggling with my perspective. Early in the evening, I allowed my mind to wander into the future, and allowed myself to see glimpses of what the future would be like for Katerina and myself. I felt a great appreciation towards God for what would be. Later, I began to wonder if what I saw in my future, had been my imagination. God said, "You know that what you were shown was not your imagination. You know the difference between a vision of the future and your imagination."

	I allowed my mind to drift further. I was able to see the reality of some key events in my life, with increasing clarity. I recalled a very powerful soul contact with Sally during the previous night. I would visit Sally soon. I missed Katerina, I saw many aspects of Katerina in my mind, but I was not lonely at all. Katerina's spirit was with me always. It is difficult to describe the spiritual closeness which I felt for Katerina. Spiritually Katerina and I were always together, complete. I could not help but wonder about my upcoming spiritual journey. I attempted to speculate on my upcoming spiritual journey. but I knew that speculation was a waste of time. I could not even speculate as to when my upcoming spiritual journey would occur. All that I could do, was allow my upcoming spiritual journey to happen, when the time came. That evening, I sat quietly at home by myself, Jesus was with me. As he often did, Jesus stood in the background, quietly watching me. I wondered what abilities I would develop, and where my path would lead in respect of my abilities. God said, "How many times have you been told that your spirit and your spiritual ability is very powerful. You have been given understanding through experiencing some of your spiritual abilities, and you recall other of your spiritual abilities. You will not develop and specialise any one spiritual ability, developing a specific spiritual ability is the role of others. You have all spiritual abilities, which lie dormant until needed.

	"Often your abilities remain untapped to lead you to others with spiritual abilities, but seldom for the reason of their ability alone. Mostly you are led you to others with spiritual abilities, to establish contact with another who has chosen to assist you on your journey, and in many cases to establish contact so you will know the resources to call on, when it is time to establish your spiritual centre. "You will fund the spiritual centre and provide for those who help you, from your work, which will enable all who seek guidance from you, and your centre to receive such guidance and healing, regardless of their means." It was early in the night and I had much to do, but I suddenly became tired so I decided to go to bed. I lay in bed and looked at Jesus who was standing in the doorway with other spirits. In fact the doorway seemed crowded. It was as if Jesus was ensuring that the spirits did not crowd me, and that I had some peace. I did not sleep, instead I travelled the spirit plane. I returned after two hours and got up for a short time. As I walked around my house, and glanced from side to side, it was obvious that there were many spirits with me that night. One thing which did surprise me, was that I could see Katerina's spirit standing with the others, usually at the front, next to Jesus. The presence of Katerina's spirit should not have surprised me in view of our previous spirit contact, but I had not truly appreciated that some of those who were with me on the spirit plane, also existed on the physical plane at this time. I watched Evelyn's crystals dancing and flashing in front of me. I glanced out of my windows and there were also spirits outside looking in. That night, I was very in tune with the spirit plane. I sat quietly before returning to bed, and I slept through until morning.

	My soul leaves my body. I orbit the earth at ever increasing speed. The stars are so clear and the true beauty of the world is revealed before me. As my speed increases, the world becomes a blur and the stars are no more than flashes of light as I pass. Suddenly I stop. The world is once more beautiful and I float slowly down to earth… I knew that my journey had occurred when I had attempted to sleep the previous evening. I knew that my journey was why there had been so many spirits around me the previous night, and also why Jesus had protected me. I may have taken my journey the previous night, but at the time I had been unaware of my journey. I now recalled my journey, but as of yet, I did not recall any detail from my journey. My soul descended to earth. I saw a group of people together and slowly I allowed myself to drift into the centre of the group. The world was at peace. Amongst those in the group was species from Other Worlds. I felt a great peace and well being around me. The world somehow seemed greener than I recalled the world, and people lived a simple and peaceful existence. people were mostly aware of the God-presence in all things and people radiated a love for all things. There were exceptions, but mostly people felt the love of the higher plane. It was the same world, but a different world. It was this world filled with love instead of fear.

	I had arrived during a spiritual discussion. Those present were relaying their experiences. They were talking about past lives and contact with the spirit plane, with an amazing level of awareness. They were discussing their experiences, there was acceptance of reality. They knew why they were there. They knew that they were there to experience, and they allowed themselves to experience. I had travelled to the future to listen, to understand how the earth plane had developed. I was only required to listen. I only needed to understand what was to happen in the future of the earth plane. My name was mentioned as a pioneer of awareness, which I felt very much an overstatement. Many had become aware before me. Someone suggested that this may be the meeting which I attended. I said nothing and did not make my presence known. I knew that there was much more that I needed to remember about my visit to the future. I wondered how my visit to the future could be any more, than my imagination. God said, "You know that your visit to the future is not your imagination. Even when you knew that you would visit the future, you did not imagine that you would visit the future in the way that you have, or that you would visit the future for the purpose of attending a spiritual discussion." I allowed myself to recall more of my journey to the future. The group were mostly sitting. I was standing quietly in the corner watching. As the discussions progressed, it became apparent that the group had based their meeting on the analogy which I had written on the homeless man. The purpose of their meeting was to gain a greater awareness.

	I walked into the centre of the group, smiled and said, "Good afternoon." One of the group, a dark haired woman said, "I knew that you would come." Her name was Suzanne. I did not know how I knew her name, but I did. Suzanne said, "Do not doubt that this meeting took place. You know that it is possible for souls to travel in time to any point. It is journeys like this one and journeys which you undertook to your previous lifetimes, that allowed many other souls to accept that such journeys are possible, and to undertake journeys in time." I asked, "Is this form of time travel is now common?" Suzanne continued, "No, time travel is not common, but time travel is not unusual. A soul must be aware not to do anything that would influence the future, but time travel is often undertaken when a soul has a concern, or a reason to travel to a future point in time." I said, "Yes, more souls will begin to travel into the future the closer the earth plane is to being regenerated. It is important to allow souls to understand reality, and to know the importance of gaining experience, and becoming who they are so that they may ascend." A fair haired woman named Julie said, "I know this is so, I have suspected it." Tiba, a large headed person from another planet said, "Those on my world have been undertaking such spiritual journeys for some time, more than 1,000 years. Mostly souls have visited their past to witness events, and gain a better understanding of what they have experienced and why."

	John, a dark haired man of European appearance said, "There are still religions, but religions are mostly restricted to devout followers now. Religions are longer for the masses." A Native American, Running Cloud said, "Most now seek the truth within and are aware of God within all living things, which my people never lost sight of." A blonde haired, blue eyed man named Sven said, "Much that has occurred, started with your example." Anpatha, an alien with the dark inbuilt sunglasses which I had recalled from the red planet said, "Much has been possible because of your message of acceptance." My head was spinning. I said, "Wait a minute, I only did what I was asked, I only wrote what I experienced, and there were many times I had no desire to continue my task, my journey, or even my life." Sven said, "We know this, but it was the example that what was once known as a spiritual existence was available to all who chose a spiritual existence, that allowed others to look within, from their existing life, as you did. Looking within allowed people to accept that many of their spiritual experiences were in fact real, and not 'just their imagination' as had been generally accepted at that time." Julie continued the dialogue, "It was your message that a spiritual existence was possible for all, that allowed others to accept that a spiritual existence was possible, and by accepting that a spiritual existence was possible, a spiritual existence occurred."

	It was John's turn to continue, "Before you, most believed that a spiritual path was only possible through much study in a religious environment, or to those who were born special. It was your example, your story that showed that all could seek the God within." Joanne, an elderly woman who had been silent up to this point said, "Much that has occurred since your time, occurred simply because people understood that they could choose their experiences. People then chose a peaceful and love filled existence, and having chosen a peaceful and love filled existence, people allowed a peaceful and love filled existence to be." Suzanne again spoke, "It was through the collective choice of the majority, that we were able to change our environment. We were able to create a positive love based environment which enabled souls to experience the beauty and the joy of the earth plane. For the most part, artificial fulfilment has been eradicated, but there are still some who are affected by artificial fulfilment." I said, "I understand what you are saying to me, but I did nothing special. I simply experienced our existence, and I recorded my experiences, for those who would seek my example." Anpatha said, "Yes, this is understood. We are not here to exalt you, that is not why you have come. We simply show you what is possible, and what will occur." Julie continued, "You know that even in your time, the choices for a love based existence were being made. It is a necessary part of the process that those making the choices know, that in their time they will experience a love based society such as this. Many will visit our society and understand what lies ahead. To visit the future will be their, choice as to visit the future was your choice."

	Running Cloud continued, "It is through your choice to undertake this journey to the future, that the key to the possibility of a journey to the future is delivered." Suzanne again took over the discussion, "Because you have undertaken this journey to the future, others will know that such a journey to the future is possible and by accepting the possibility of a journey to the future, they too will undertake such journeys to the future." Tiba spoke again, "Many will visit themselves in a future incarnation to better understand what they need to experience, to allow themselves to be who they are." It was Running Cloud who continued, "Consider how much simpler, how much more joyful your physical existence would have been if, as Judas, you had been aware that you could travel to your final lifetime, and see who you really are." I said, "That is true, but to travel to the future as Judas was not my path. I needed to follow the path which I followed." Running Cloud replied, "This is so, but for many others, travelling to their final lifetime to see who they really are, is their path, and you have now provided the key, so that others will become aware that travelling to their final lifetime to see who they really are, is possible." I replied, "I understand."

	I suspected that I would recall more of my journey into the future, because I usually did not recall the full details of my spirit plane journeys at once. God said, "The purpose for your journey was to allow others to know that such a journey is possible. That is all. "You are tired and it is time for you to attend to your daily activities. If you again doubt your journey, ask yourself what harm could be done by recording this journey, and be at peace." I knew that one day those on the earth plane would live in a love based existence, and would experience the joy of who they really are. I knew that the majority of souls would experience the truth of existence, and see the beauty of the earth plane. I knew that the earth plane would become loved based, simply by allowing the earth plane to become loved based. I felt very close to Katerina, and a great peace descended over me. A little later, I recalled some more of my journey. I asked, "Why are there so many souls still on the earth plane, if the majority are aware?" Suzanne replied, "Their experiences are not yet complete. Your experiences were almost complete before you became aware, so your awareness occurred rapidly. It is the way of the master as you are experiencing. For those of us who become aware whilst living our experience, the path is easier and more joyful but the experience is necessary nevertheless. We still feel the experiences, we still experience joy and sorrow, but we are aware of why. Having experienced what we need to experience, we are able to release experiences, and move on to the next experience, which makes our journey easier."

	John said, "In fact, we look forward to new experiences and seek new experiences. We know that with each experience we are a step closer to our true selves and a step closer to the higher plane. I myself have travelled forward in time to the point where I ascend, but I know that for me to reach that point, I must experience all that is in between." Sven said, "You see, we are aware of our purpose so our experiences again have meaning. It was this way in the beginning, before artificial fulfilment consumed the earth plane." Running Cloud said, "My people were relatively untouched by artificial fulfilment, other than for a few short centuries. My people understood reality and embraced life and its experiences. In many ways society has reached the point where my people existed for so long. We allow souls to enter and leave our lives as they will and we understand and accept that we must experience who we are not. We must travel the path, but our journey is easier and we mostly avoid detours and dead ends." Sven said, "Consider your own experiences after you became aware. Your experiences continued, but you were aware. Each time that you experienced something that was not who you are, you knew that what you experienced, was not who you are, but you experienced nevertheless." Julie said, "Remember, that you experienced much of who you were not before you became aware. As you know, you would have needed to experience who you were not, even if you had been aware, but your journey would have been easier, if you did not need to repeat experiences over and over for centuries." It was only as I conducted my final review and reflected on what I had experienced, that I truly understood this statement. When I had first travelled to the future I had believed that I understood what Julie had said, but I had not.

	Joanne said, "The other difference is that those of us who are aware do not attempt to alter the paths of others." Anpatha said, "Also, we recall our previous experiences. I recall being on the earth plane, as you recalled being on my planet." I said to Anpatha, "I sense you are withholding something some me, such as the name of your planet." Anpatha replied, "Of course, you know that you will not be given any information that would impact events in the future." Tiba said, "In your time, my people had visited your planet on many occasions and there were many witnesses, but at the point in time from which you travel, this was largely and officially denied." Sven said, "People still leave the earth plane and we still feel sorrow because we will miss their characteristics, but we know that they will return to us at some point. The difference is that we do not feel such loss and fear, as to cause us to retain our grief." Sally rang, and we spoke briefly. It seemed everything would fall into place for me to visit Sally in Melbourne, at the end of the week. I knew that I had more of my journey to recall. On the way to the office, I recalled a little more of my journey.

	Edith, a teenage girl with golden hair spoke, "This journey to the future that you have undertaken was an essential part of your example. Your journey to the future was undertaken in answer to the question that many in your time were asking. Your journey to the future was meant to occur, and your journey to the future foreseen as the method of answering the questions. Your journey to the future could only affect events, if your journey to the future did not occur." Suzanne looked at me. The depth of the colour in her blue eyes was astonishing. She smiled, "Do not be concerned. In many ways we are more aware of what will transpire than you are at this point because to us, what will transpire is the past, but to you what will transpire is the future. To us you have long become a master so it feels unusual for us to answer your questions. Your work has answered many of our questions. We do know from your work that you undertook this journey before becoming known as a master, but answering your questions is still very humbling for us." As I recalled Suzanne's words, I was overwhelmed. I attended to some business matters, and I had lunch with Joe. While I was away, Joe's daughter had gone to visit her grandfather's grave. Joe's daughter had been upset about a number of things, and had asked some important why questions. Her grandfather's spirit had told her not to worry, which had frightened Joe's daughter even though it had been the second time, that her grandfather's spirit had contacted her. It was time to reveal to Joe that I had a past life connection with his daughter.

	Joe was slowly keeping his life together. Joe had travelled extensively with the business whilst I was away, and Joe had visited many parts of the country which Joe had not expected to visit at this stage of his life. As lunch drew to a close, I became distant, restless and very tired. Later that day I was given another message for Nancy. I reflected on the day's events, and in particular, on something which I had avoided doing. I felt that I had failed because I had avoided contact with a specific person. God said, "Failed, by who's standards? Perhaps it has not occurred to you that you were meant to avoid contact with that person, because you were not meant to have contact with that person at this point in time." God was right. Why did this surprise me? It had not occurred to me that I had only avoided contact with the person, because I was not supposed to have any contact with the person. This placed my view of contact between people in a new light, and I would revisit the issue of contact between people at a later time.

	I thought of Billy, a prisoner whom I wrote to. I thought that it would soon be time to deliver the message which I had for Billy. I recalled that Billy had told me that God had once saved his life, and despite this Billy ended up with a life sentence in jail. I knew there was a reason for all that had happened to Billy. There was something which Billy needed to do, or something that Billy had done, which was very significant. I slept for a few hours. After dinner I attempted to give Nancy the message which I had for her, but delivering the message to Nancy proved to be very difficult. It was as if I was being prevented from giving Nancy the message, other than a few key phrases to sow a seed within Nancy. I realised that this was not the first time that I had experienced difficulty in delivering a message, and I recognised the pattern. Whenever I went to tell Nancy in particular, but the same principle applied to others, something which they needed to become aware of for themselves, I had difficulty speaking, and there was much that I could not physically say. I was beginning to understand why I could not interfere with the path of others. Nancy's involvement in my journey was as a direct result of her lifetime as Martha when we had both walked with Jesus. Nancy had felt she had been left out then, and Nancy had turned her back on Jesus and walked away. In a scenario not dissimilar to my own situation, Nancy was returning to her correct path.

	I considered how difficult it was at times to undertake my journey when I needed to attend the business each day. It would have been so much easier for me to leave the artificial world behind. I knew, however, that if I were to leave the artificial world behind too soon, it would defeat the purpose of the example. God asked, "Why do you think that you have returned to your environment, for you?" God's question surprised me, and certainly gave me something to think about. When I arrived home that night, I knew I that had a visitor. I sat quietly reviewing the day's events and I saw Evelyn's crystals dancing before me. I recognised my visitor, and we exchanged greetings. When I went to bed that night, I reflected long and deep on the need to surrender to God's will. I wondered about surrendering to God's will, and I understood that what I was really doing, was putting my higher self in charge of my life. Later that night, Katerina rang. I explained much of what Sue had said to me. After the telephone call, I sat quietly watching Evelyn's crystals dance in front of me, as Evelyn shared my joy.

	I awoke on time the following morning, and as usual I began my morning meditation. I was unsure what the day would bring, and I knew that being unsure what the day would bring, was how life was meant to be. I had begun to review my notes for Understanding My Destiny. Once more I found that I was currently experiencing much of what I had been told, and I was finding answers for myself, which I had seeded within my notes. God said, "You still desire to exist only on the spirit plane, but to exist only on the spirit plane is not possible while you are attached to the physical plane. You must remember this. Travel on the spirit plane when you desire, but do not lose sight of the fact that you are attached to the physical plane." I reflected that morning that I was going to travel again, and that it was likely that much would occur during my upcoming travels, that I had anticipated would have occurred during my previous travels. "There will be many travels, however you are right. Much will occur during your upcoming travels.

	"I said to you only; 'while you are away'. I did not specify which of your travels I referred to. You assumed that I meant during your previous travels, which was natural because you were unaware of future travels at that time. However, I also specifically said; 'listen carefully to exactly what I say'. It does not matter, everything is as everything was meant to be, and as everything is meant to be. We have provided a powerful example, in respect of not making assumptions, do you not agree?" I had to agree, but I felt somehow conned. I considered my current environment, and the fact that I remained attached to my business. "I told you that your work within the business was finished. I did not tell you that you had finished working within the business. I also told you that you would be supported in a number of ways, until it was time for you to move on. It was you who once again assumed both the timing, and the outcome. Consider the aggravation which your assumptions have caused you. Consider how easily your aggravation could have been avoided, if you had not made any assumptions. Consider the importance of this example." I knew what God had said was right, but God's comments did sound a little convenient to me. "Yes the example is convenient, but what else would you expect." Discretion being the better part of valour, I decided to shut up.

	God continued, "Consider your few, minor physical ailments. Has it not occurred to you that you retain your few, minor physical ailments for a reason? Often such physical ailments are used to slow one down, make one rest, or even to prevent one from doing something harmful to themselves. Mostly souls curse their physical ailments, but physical ailments are retained for a reason. Bless your physical ailments, be thankful for your physical ailments, and allow yourself to understand why your physical ailments remain, with the knowledge that your physical ailments will disappear, when your physical ailments are no longer required. "It is a time to surrender yourself completely to me, or to your higher self. You will find that many of your remaining illusions will be shattered when you surrender yourself completely to your higher self. "You must experience that it is important to live each moment, to experience each moment, to experience now. How many times, just in the previous few days, have you experienced that your worries, even about little things, have been baseless? "Have you not also experienced that your views on what you are meant to do are nonsense? I have said that there are no rules, that there is no right way, only experience, so by who's standards do you judge yourself. Certainly not mine, because I do not judge. Everything that all do is for experience, so everything that all do is meant to be. Understand this.

	"You know that awareness does not change experience. Awareness allows a soul to experience without difficulty, because a soul understands experience, but experience remains. If souls do not experience who they are not, how do souls experience who they are? The key is for souls to be aware that they are experiencing who they are not, because until souls are aware that they are experiencing who they are not, souls cannot experience who they are." Once again, this was a statement which I had not really understood and would not understand, until I was completing my final review. It was apparent that both my final review, and the timing of my final review were absolutely necessary. I said, "Sometimes I feel I am going in circles." "Is not the nature of all things circular? Therefore the nature of experience is also circular. Experience is repeated as often as it is required for all to be gained from the experience. The circular nature of experience does not change with awareness. What changes with awareness, is that souls no longer travel in blind circles. The circle remains but souls' eyes are open to what is happening, and therefore souls understand the meaning of the circle.

	"You are also concerned about having to seek the help of others, even though I have told you that it is necessary for others to know that they too must seek help. Can you name for me one soul who has become a master, who has not received assistance from each plane during the process. "You continue to overlook that you often seek help not for yourself, but for the benefit of those who provide help to you. You know that not all of your current experiences are for you, because you know why you have returned to your environment. There are many reasons why you have returned to your environment, and you are now aware of most of the reasons why you have returned to your environment. However, do not close your mind to other reasons why you have returned to your environment, of which you are not yet aware. "What you are now experiencing is very important in respect of what others will draw strength from. Many will make the same mistakes that you make, which is why you must make mistakes. Do not think that you task makes you special or different. Mostly you have already made the mistakes for yourself, and you now repeat your mistakes for the benefit of those who will follow the example, which in itself is an important example, because many will repeat their experiences, as you have repeated your experiences.

	"You continue to concern yourself about your business, but the opportunity to do my work, and maintain your income continues to present itself. Why now do you continue with your concern?" I knew that there would come a time when it would be necessary for Nancy to leave me, and pursue her own path. I knew we would be physically separated while Nancy resided in the United States, and continued her own journey to return a few years later, and work with me as a crystal healer. I recalled one of the consultations which I'd had with Sue, who had suggested I start to think about those who would work with me, and that I would need far more assistance than I realised. I had not understood what Sue meant at the time, but now I was beginning to see the assistance which I would need clearly. I had assumed that my establishment of a spiritual healing centre would occur many years into the future. I would establish a spiritual healing centre in the future, but not nearly as far into the future, as I had suspected. I was unsure how establishing of a spiritual healing centre would fit with that house which I was told I would buy in Sydney, but I did not see how it was possible to buy that house anyway.

	I had been told on many occasions that I had underestimated the impact of my work, and what I would do. I saw some brief glimpses of the future, and a very important meeting which would occur. However, the future was in the future. I needed to be concerned with now, and now I needed to attend the office. On the way to the office that morning, Katerina was with me as Katerina had been with me everyday that I had driven to the office, since my return. God said, "You have existed lifetime after lifetime believing a set of rules applied. You now understand that there are no rules, which is not an easy transition to make. You must be patient with yourself." I continued to receive glimpses of the future, in particular the future in relation to the establishment of my spiritual centre.

	When I arrived at the office, I had my 'no rules' awareness tested, which did not surprise me at all. I left the office at lunch time that day and I found myself struggling once more with what was happening around me. There was no problem other than that I felt that I should be handling things differently. It was obvious that what I was experiencing was a part of understanding that the rules which I had once lived by, were irrelevant. When I arrived home, I was given a subtle reminder that my financial situation remained difficult. All I could think was; 'nothing has changed'.



	Copyright permission is seldom withheld.


	That night I heard from Katerina. It was a difficult conversation because the line kept dropping out, but our conversation was very positive. Katerina naturally wanted me to give her a commitment as to when I would be able to travel to Russia, but I could not give Katerina a commitment, there were too many unknown factors. I thought about travelling to Russia for a while, and I saw some possibilities, but I pulled myself back to now. In my now, I lay content in a warm bed with Katerina's presence close to me, and I was at peace. The following morning, I slept later than I would have preferred. I was to return to the business that day, and I had no idea what to expect. There was much that I had wanted to do that morning, but having overslept I did not really have the time to do all of what I had intended to do. I allowed myself to relax. I knew that I could attend to what I intended to do, later that day. I wondered about Katerina, and whether Katerina and I were really meant to be together. The previous night after our telephone call, I had this same discussion with God, who had reassured me that Katerina and I would be together. That morning I was again questioning. Katerina's insecurities were great, and I knew that I would have difficulty living with Katerina's insecurities. I had certainly had enough experience living with another's insecurities to know, that I could not live with another's insecurities. I had wondered if I was deluding myself. I had wondered if I believed that I could change Katerina. I knew that I could not change anybody. God said, "You cannot change Katerina, but Katerina can change."

	I knew that God was right, but I wondered if Katerina would release her insecurities or if I was viewing life through 'rose coloured glasses' as I was so often accused of. I knew that Katerina did not need to change. Katerina only needed to allow herself to be herself, by releasing her fears. I did not know if Katerina would be able to release her fears and insecurities. God said, "Why not? You did." It was proving to be an interesting day. Immediately the test of now restarted. I continued to wonder why nothing had changed. I kept thinking; 'nothing has changed'. The message which I had received the previous evening from Nancy was on my mind. Nancy had quoted from my writing about repeating experiencs, until the experience was dealt with correctly. It was apparent that nothing was changing, because I was missing a point. I was left alone in the office for some time after I arrived that morning. I had the feeling that something was not quite right, but I did not know what it was, or if I was being given me an opportunity to experience now, and not worry. I decided to go for a coffee and a cigarette, and relax. A little later I again found myself wondering, if I had somehow simply created a second personality within myself. I once more felt lost and confused. My soul was attached, and I was trying to understand my feelings for the people in my life. I felt neither pleased that some people were in my life, nor displeased that other people were not in my life. People were either in my life or people were not in my life. From my spiritual perspective my feeling was correct, but from an earth plane perspective my feeling did not seem quite right. I did not quite know what to make of the experience. I was left alone with my thoughts, and nothing else to do. I thought; 'if I am right, why can't I simply live what I have become aware of all of the time'. However, I could not live what I had become aware of all of the time. I continued to slip back, and although I accepted that slipping back was probably a part of the example, the explanation did not satisfy me.

	I knew that my job was to record all that I experienced, so I recorded all that I experienced. I felt that something needed to change, not necessarily around me, but within me. I needed to reach a point where I fully understood and maintained, my spiritual outlook. One thing which I found amusing was that I was neither satisfied with myself when I felt, or satisfied with myself when I did not feel. If I viewed my situation from the spiritual perspective, I was trapped between two planes. If I viewed my situation from the physical perspective, I had created a second personality. Either way, I was trapped between the two. I found it frustrating that there were moments when I enjoyed a great peace, and a clarity of existence, moments when I saw the beauty of the world regardless of what was happening around me, and other times like this moment when I was lost and confused in no man's land. Unreasonably, I thought; 'if my spiritual path was correct, why am I prevented from fully pursuing my spiritual path?' However, if my spiritual path was not correct, why was I unable to abandon my path, spiritual or otherwise? I had reached the point of confusion where I again wondered that if I was this alleged teacher, how could, why would I experience these periods of confusion over and over again. I could understand why I experienced periods of confusion to a point, but I felt I should have passed that point, or perhaps once again, I had simply missed the point.

	I met with my business partner who updated me on all of the problems within the business. As I had expected, nothing had changed. I wondered if I was returning to the office to repay a debt. I had a quiet lunch by myself, and I reflected on the difficulties that I was having. I wondered why I needed to experience difficulties. God said, "All who are teachers have endured a difficult period in their lives. Mostly the difficult period has not been included, other than the basic fact that the difficult period occurred, within the teachings, because it was feared that the details of the difficulties endured by teachers would reduce the teacher's credibility, but this is not so. How can others know that difficulties continue to be experienced, if you do not continue to experience difficulties?" I was not satisfied. I continued to feel that I was caught between two planes. I decided to make an appointment with the spiritual reader, Sue. I felt that I should be able to handle everything alone, but nevertheless I knew that I needed help. "There is no failure in seeking help, when help is needed. You often miss the point. "The purpose of the earth plane is to have real experiences. The purpose of the earth plane would be defeated, if experiences did not seem real. Experiences must feel real, for experiences to be fully experienced." I spoke with both Jane and Anne. Anne continued to experience the same circle. Jane was experiencing some major emotional difficulties. I considered the environment around me. I felt that everything had somehow been put on 'hold'. I would consult Sue the following day. I knew that Sue would be able to cut through my confusion.