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Searching for My Soul
Book One Searching for My Soul

Some Loose Ends and Gaps.

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When I began this chapter, I had assumed that it would relate to tying up the loose ends and filling in the gaps in respect of my journey. As usual, my assumption was incorrect. The loose ends and gaps that I would address related to my preparation.

That morning Anne telephoned. I asked her what had occurred on the day that her soul had contacted mine. She had been concerned about her current relationship, and had drunk too much, which explained both the reason for the contact, and the intensity of the contact. However, Anne had been unaware of the contact.

My sinus pain was nearly nonexistent. The pain in the side of my neck had gone. I still had other neck and back pains, and I still had my knee pain. I had no idea if I would find any of my remaining pains on the bridge to my soul, or if they were from this lifetime.

Physical problems that are unresolved memories from previous lifetimes, manifest themselves as we reach the exact age that we were when the traumatic experience occurred in the previous lifetime. As we reach the age when the original injury occurred, our memory is triggered which is why our mostly unexplained aches and pains increase as we get older.

When I arrived at the office that day I experienced a reflex response from my conscious mind, which had no intention of going quietly.

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Joe commented that he had been thinking about the attempted break-in, that had occurred while he was on the other side of the country. His former wife had checked his home for him, which demonstrated to him that there was still a bond between them. Joe had also won another large account that day. I had not mentioned what had I learned about the bonds between bonded souls to Joe.

Later that day I experienced another reflex action, it was the ‘what will people think’ reflex.

Fate stepped in and I was suddenly having lunch with a person whom I had experienced major problems with. He had ‘shafted me’ to protect himself some time ago which had not concerned me at the time, other than my initial reaction of anger. However, a negative reaction to his actions had manifested itself in a major way during my stress.

Fate had a way of forcing me to demonstrate to myself, that I had in fact learned. That morning I had encountered Marie. I had felt nothing other than positive love, so  I seemed to have finally got that particular point.

It was apparently time to demonstrate to myself that I had learned. I was not the least bit concerned about how to approach lunch. I knew that all I needed to do was to allow my instinct to take over and handle whatever occurred with my soul, which I did. The lunch went well, very well, and much better than I expected.

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Later that day, my conscious mind again reflexed and tried to tell me that everything that I had experienced was a delusion, but I knew that my experiences were real. I also knew that I needed to lay my conscious mind to rest, permanently.

That night my conscious mind had another reflex, the ‘approval and what will people think’ reflex. The reflexes from my conscious mind continued. They were short and very sharp. I hoped that this meant that my conscious mind was in its final death throws.

Recognising the reflexes of what remained of my conscious mind for what they were, and refusing to engage them, was the only way to allow my conscious mind to finally die. I could not give my conscious mind any reason to ‘live’.

I took heart and drew strength from the completion I had felt when my soulmate had recognised me, and we had reconnected. At this point there had not been any contact between us, and I did not physically know if my soulmate had received my letter.

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A pilot is flying across an ocean. He becomes lost and sees an island which had not been on his charts.

The pilot is running low on fuel, so he lands on the island. The island is inhabited by simple people who live a simple existence. The islanders had never encountered others before, and the islanders had believed their island was the world, which it was to the islanders.

All of a sudden something lands from the sky, like a big bird, and out steps the pilot. The islanders see a man, but the islanders cannot understand this, because the man does not come from their world.

In a single moment the islanders learn that they are not the only people in the world. They learn that their world is only part of the real world, and that it is only a small part. The islanders learn that there are strange birds that can carry people across the winds.

Three of the islanders beliefs were shattered in a single moment. New ideas and a new truth existed. Did the truth exist only after the plane had landed, or did the truth exist all along? The residents of the island had learned the new truth and the truth changed their world, but did the new truth change reality?

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The following morning I experienced another reflex from my conscious mind. The reflex from my conscious mind was not as severe as those I had experienced during the previous day. It was based on the usual ‘approval’ and ‘what will people think’ scenarios. The reflexes from my conscious mind were becoming weaker all the time.

I was learning not to worry about any situation. If I was placed in a situation, I would know how to handle the situation, so I had nothing to worry about.

I understood that the real reason why I needed to find the location of my hanging as a stable boy was to prove to myself that my memory was real. I should have understood this at the time, but I had not.

I continued to review the notes that I had made since my journey began. I repeatedly read where I had seen that something would happen, or that I had known where my next step would lead. However, when the event that I had foreseen occurred, I had forgotten that I had known that it would occur, or that I had foreseen it.

It was only when I reviewed my notes that I saw that I had known much of what would occur before the event. The record of my foreknowledge was helping to confirm to me that what I was experiencing was real. However, I was not totally satisfied by my foreknowledge, I continued to look for proof. I wondered how much proof I would need to become satisfied with the reality of my experiences.

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It was two weeks before Christmas. I still believed that Christmas was the timing for a significant event. I believed that during the next few weeks, I would receive proof of my experiences that would satisfy even me, my greatest doubter. I did, however, underestimate my doubt.

The problems that Sally was experiencing were also a part of my tests. To watch someone as dear to me as Sally experience problems, and know that there was nothing that I could do to help, had been another of the ironies of reality. I knew that Sally would be all right and I knew not to worry, but my reflexes from my conscious mind desperately wanted to help her. I knew that her problems would sort themselves out within the next two weeks.

That day my conscious mind’s dying reflexes had all but stopped. I needed to extract the roots to my conscious mind, otherwise they would rot. After I had extracted the roots to my conscious mind, I would need to be patient while the wounds healed.

Every time that I thought I had attended to everything that needed attention, I found that I had only attended to another stage in the process and that all that had occurred was that I was ready to begin the next stage of my journey.

I knew that I would experience more reflex reactions whilst I was extracting the roots to my conscious mind.

I spoke with Sally that day. Her problems had started to resolve themselves. It seemed fate had been waiting for me to get the message that I could not help her. Sally’s difficulties had begun to resolve themselves from the moment that I had really accepted that there was nothing that I could do to help her.

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As I began extracting the roots to my conscious mind, I caused more reflexes as I had known that I would. The first root I extracted was attached to the ‘if only I had done things differently’ scenario. The second root was attached to the ‘shouldn’t you be doing something more responsible’ scenario.

The teachers who were sent among us long ago demonstrated that death is not real. As usual we missed the point, and we interpreted the example to fit the piece of the puzzle held by the particular culture where the teacher existed.

It was the spread of the disease of artificial fulfilment which had shattered the truth of our existence into many pieces.

The whole truth will be put back together by individuals who will again begin to see the bunch when they consume the individual grape. We have all retained the image of the truth, and we only have to choose to see the truth.

That afternoon I felt that ‘something’ needed to happen, but I did not know what.

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It is the late 1880’s a young man found himself in a position where he had to choose between two women. The young man has just finished telling the woman whom he rejected that he could never see her again. The young man turned to leave, but the rejected woman stabbed him in the back. The young man dies in her arms.

I was that young man. In a role reversal, Marie was the woman I had rejected and Nancy was the woman I had chosen.

I had again died young and violently. I had found the source of my back pain, and I had discovered another lifetime which I could never have imagined. I had known from the day that I met her that Marie and I had been together in previous lifetimes, but I had not conceived that our previous lifetimes had ended tragically.

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I had dinner with Jane that night. She explained that the shop which  she had considered buying had not felt ‘right’ when she first walked into it. I explained that she needed to learn to trust her instinct and that if something did not feel right, it was not right, no matter how much she wanted it.

We had been talking for some time when I suddenly became very tired, so I drove Jane home. When I returned to my home, everything had stopped again. I could not do anything and I was very, very tired. I went to bed.

I did not know it at the time, but showing Jane to trust her instinct in respect of purchasing the shop had been the reason why she had been drawn back into my life. It was that simple. I only needed to be there when the turning point was reached in her life.

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It is the late 1700’s, it is my fifteenth birthday. My mother hardly spoke to me any more. I was sure that she blamed me for my sister’s death. I blamed myself. It is several years since my sister had died, but I could not come to terms with her death. I still felt guilty because I was alive, and she was dead.

I took a bag, a sack of some type made from very course fabric, from my home and I walked a few miles to the river. I filled the bag with rocks and sat on the edge of a stone bridge. I tied the bag to my ankles and dropped it over the side, pulling me off the bridge and into the river. I let the river wash away my guilt and my life.

I now knew the outcome of my previous lifetime with my Aunt Val, and this time I knew who my mother had been, it was Sally.

Despite how tired I had been, after I had taken this next step across the bridge to my soul, I had not slept and I could not sleep. I felt that ‘something’ was happening or had happened. I felt very strongly that I was being given a message, but I could not receive the message.

I also felt a tremendous love pouring out of my heart.

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I had rediscovered my enlightenment on the island. After rediscovering my enlightenment I needed to relive the process to enlightenment from start to finish, a process which usually takes many lifetimes. Reliving the process was the only way that I could understand the journey to awareness from the perspective of the earth plane. I needed to understand to be able to teach.

I understood why guilt had been one of my major lessons in the first part of this lifetime. When I finally slept, I did not wake for many hours.

The next morning, I still felt that there was ‘something’ happening, and I still felt that there was something that I should know. However, I did not know what was happening, and I was unable to retrieve whatever it was that I needed to know.

Later that morning my soulmate came to me on the spirit plane, it was a very powerful contact. I could feel our reconnection strengthening. She told me not to worry, and to remember what it had been like to be together.

I still made assumptions, and my assumptions were always wrong. I still tried to do things before I was ready. I still thought that every time I was given two and two it equalled four, but often there was another part of the equation that I had not been provided with. I needed to learn to wait until I had all of the equation, before trying to add it up.

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Extracting the roots of my conscious mind was more difficult than I had anticipated. The particular root that I was trying to remove at this time was very deep and twisted. The root was proving extremely difficult to remove. I had the root caught on the ‘you really are going insane’ snag, and I was having trouble freeing it.

I started asking; ‘why?’ Was anything that I had learned incorrect? What had I learned that had not been verified one way or another? After I had examined these questions all that remained was that what was happening, was happening to me. This was the snag, not that what was happening, was happening, but that what was happening, was happening to me.

If everything else was so, if I had not imagined all that I had experienced, which I had not, then what was happening, was happening to me. Snag removed. Root extracted.

Later that day I understood that my doubts were a part of my preparation. By facing and dealing with my doubts, I would be prepared for other’s doubts when they were thrown at me. I did not know at the time that my understanding would be put to the test within a few days, but I should have known. The pattern that I had experienced since my journey had begun had been consistent.

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Sally had felt that she had let me down in our previous lifetimes together. She had made sure that she did not let me down in this lifetime.

I had not regressed into any lifetimes looking for everybody or anybody who I had known in this lifetime. I had not gone looking for facts to verify. I had been shown where one lifetime had occurred so that I would know that my memories were real.

I had only been shown the unresolved issues from each lifetime so that I could understand them and resolve them. This was the only way to remove the unresolved issues from the bridge to my soul, and allow me to cross the bridge. I could not leave the unresolved issues from each lifetime on the bridge to my soul, because I would not have been able to cross the bridge.

When our body dies so does our conscious mind. Each lifetime we are given a new conscious mind, which we learn how to use again. Our conscious mind needs to learn either from its own experiences, or by drawing from what knowledge our soul has accumulated lifetime after lifetime. Our conscious mind is taught how to learn externally, but our conscious mind is not taught how to learn internally. Our conscious mind naturally learns internally but often discounts this learning.

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New souls are placed at the entrance to a multi-level, multi-dimensional maze. The only way that a soul can reside in heaven, or on the higher plane, is to learn pure love. The only way we can learn pure love is to learn about the positives and negatives of existence, and to experience everything from all perspectives.

We need to find our way through the multi-dimensional maze until we reach the entrance to the next level. This continues until we find the entrance to the higher plane. This entrance to the higher plane is located on the highest level of the multi-dimensional maze.

We are given bodies to allow us to experience pain and other sensations, which we do not experience in our spirit form. When we need to rest, we leave our bodies and when we are rested, we are placed back on the same level of the multi-dimensional maze that we have left, but not necessarily in the same place.

The maze is multi-dimensional, which allows all levels to exist simultaneously, and this allows us to interact with those on different levels of the multi-dimensional maze.

The multi-dimensional maze contains many hidden doors within its walls, and one of our challenges is to find both the door and the key. The complication is that each key point contains three doors and three keys. One door allows us to continue our journey, one door leads us in a circle and we end up back at the same key point, and the third door leads us back to the previous level.

How we handle each key point situation will determine which key we find. The easiest key to find is the one to the circular passage. The hardest key to find is the one which allows us to continue our journey. The keys appear the same, but the keys have subtle differences. We must learn to recognise the differences in the keys.

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My final thought when I was stabbed was that it was those we are close to who caused our deaths, which was understandable considering the lifetimes that I had recalled up to that point. In my next lifetime as a soldier, I was killed by a stranger.

One issue that I carried into this lifetime from my lifetime as a homosexual, was persecution. I needed to learn that people persecuted those who were different through fear, even if they are different in a way that we cannot quite define. I needed to rise above persecution. I needed to learn that although we are all different, we are all the same.

If someone is a soldier and embraces killing. Coldly and indiscriminately killing as many others as is possible, then in their next lifetime they are continually looking for the souls who they killed in the previous lifetime. These souls constantly worry about being ‘paid back’. These souls live a troubled existence, continually searching the shadows for an unseen threat which they do not understand. These souls  encounter a number of souls whom they had previously killed. Some souls break the circle, while other souls will perpetuate the circle by doing harm.

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That morning my soul travelled to a beach. I sat on the deserted beach soaking up the peace. A lady dressed in white appeared and sat next to me.

She said “I have been waiting for you.”

I asked, “How did you know I was coming?”

She just smiled knowingly and said, “I knew”. She asked, “Are you here because you are troubled?”

I replied, “No, I am not troubled, I am just enjoying the peace.”

I studied that lady in white, trying to determine her age. The lady in white was neither old nor young, and at the same time, the lady in white was both old and young.

She said, “You have nothing to worry about”.

I asked her name.

She replied, “They call me Pure Love”.

I could feel love radiating from the lady in white. I asked Pure Love to come back with me.

Pure Love replied, “I cannot yet, it is not time. You have some more to do first.”

I wanted to stay with Pure Love. I asked if I could stay with her.

Pure Love replied, “No, you have to go now, you have more to learn.”

I walked away, reflecting on my experience with Pure Love.

As I left, Pure Love called after me, “You have nothing to worry about.”

I knew that Pure Love was right.

After I left the beach, I went first to a coffee shop and then to someone’s home. Unrelated events from the past, present and future came together. I obtained many new insights, before returning to my body


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Later I returned to the spirit plane and my soul visited my soulmate for a while. I felt our reconnection strengthening again. Our souls were joining, little by little.

When I returned to the earth plane, I felt full of peace and love. I was very calm, but also a little sad. I had not wanted to leave the spirit plane. My back pain was continuing to fade, and I had extracted another root from my conscious mind.

Many of the people in my life at the time, who had also been in my previous lifetimes, were not born in Australia. Many had started this lifetime in another country and had emigrated to Australia, as I had. Some had lived in other cities for a while, before seemingly by chance finding their way to this city and into my life. It was becoming clearer that there are far too many events in our lives that occur by chance, for any of the events to have occurred by chance.

During the previous few days I had experienced a faint headache behind my eyes. It was caused by the remains of my conscious mind attempting to block communication with my soul.

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More and more I was being drawn onto the spirit plane. For me to enter the spirit plane all that I now needed to do was keep my body still. It did not matter what was happening around me. My conscious mind was nearly nonexistent, and my conscious mind was unable to put itself in the way of my entry to the spirit plane. I was always warned that I needed to enter the spirit plane. I was learning to be careful to ensure that I was in a situation where entering the spirit plane was practical.

Sometimes, it still took a while for me to bring whatever I had learned on the spirit plane back with me, but mostly I recalled what I had learned instantaneously.

My sergeant when I was a soldier had also been my brother. In this lifetime my sergeant had been my father. We had grown up together in that lifetime in the same area where we had both began this lifetime, which was why the area had been so familiar to me.

When the sergeant finished that lifetime, which for him was the lifetime before this lifetime, he believed that he had failed to protect me. The timing of my father leaving this lifetime had not been an accident. My father had left this lifetime a few months before I reached the turning point, seven years previously. My father had remained with me for those seven years. My father knew that I no longer needed his protection and that it was time for him to rest, before starting another lifetime. I would see my father again in this lifetime.

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Our mother, when we were soldiers, had been Nancy. After I had been separated from Nancy when I was stabbed, I had come back to her in the same lifetime as her son, and I had again been taken from her.

This explained why, throughout our relationship, I’d had the impression that Nancy was always afraid of losing me. It was also why we had remained friends and would always remain friends in this lifetime. Nancy needed to learn that we did not really lose anybody. There was another, more significant reason why we remained friends and I would become aware of this as my journey unfolded.

In Nancy’s previous lifetime, which had been a long one, she had also lost her other son, my brother/father. This explained the affinity and connection which Nancy had felt for my father, whom she had never met physically in this lifetime.

Another thing I had learned on my trip to the spirit plane was that the karmic debts that had been owed to me had not been incurred by accident. They were by design to ensure that I had everything that I needed in this lifetime, to fulfil my destiny.

I was able to understand a little more about my role. I would pass a message on or provide the guidance or the assistance I was directed to. The recipient would either accept my message or not, it was their decision. Convincing others to accept my message or guidance was not my role, nor was it possible. Acceptance can only come from within.

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I had been concerned when I was talking with Anne a few days earlier, that I seemed to be saying negative things. I kept thinking; ‘Why am I saying this? It is negative.’ I now realised that my comments were only negative by my old values. I was delivering a message to Anne, which was pointing out the negative aspects of her situation. It was Anne’s decision whether to accept my message.

That evening the root from my conscious mind that I was trying to extract had become tangled on a snag. It was the snag of frustration, impatience and intolerance. I wanted my journey to be over. If something was going to happen, I wanted it to happen, now.

I could not work. In fact, I could not do anything which compounded the effect of the snag. I had reached a point where I did not know how much more I could endure, and I did not want to find out. Nevertheless, I knew I would endure. I had no choice.

Later that night I wondered if the Christopher Columbus analogy that had been used during my meeting with the spirits, was as random as it had appeared to be at the time.

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I had noticed that the pain in the middle of my neck had been intensifying throughout the day. Initially, I had put it down to the snag, but a little later I knew the real reason why the pain in middle of my neck had been intensifying throughout the day.

Every time that I found a pain caused by a past life experience, it had intensified because I was getting close to a raw nerve.

It is the mid-1800’s, sometime in between my two previous lifetimes with Marie. It is somewhere in Europe, Eastern Europe. I am riding a horse with my betrothed when I am thrown. I hit a fallen tree, my neck is broken. I was twenty-two.

The lady I was betrothed to was Ellen, Jane’s sister. They had been sisters in that lifetime too, which explained their strong sisterly bond in this lifetime. I had first met Ellen a few months before my turning point. I had felt a very strong need to help her when I first met her, but it did not seem that I would be able to help her. Then fate stepped in and we entered each other’s lives.

During the following three years, the bond which had been apparent when Ellen and I first met strengthened. We were both enduring difficult periods in our respective lives, and came to rely on each other. At times during this period, even after the turning point, I had been close to ending my life. I had noted in my journal at the time that if it had not been for Ellen’s support, I would have ended my life.

Four years earlier, Ellen had left my life, just as abruptly as she had entered my life. A few weeks ago she had entered my life again, albeit briefly. In that past life, Ellen and my wedding plans had been delayed, and I was frustrated with the delay. I had been riding hard to get rid of my frustration, which is why my horse had thrown me.

The pain caused by that fall had always been particularly intense in this lifetime whenever I was frustrated by something. The question that day was; ‘Had I become frustrated because I had found the incident on the bridge to my soul, or did I become frustrated so that I would find the incident on the bridge to my soul?’

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I briefly revisited my life as a soldier. I’d had a girl who I had left behind to go to war. That same soul had been a friend of mine in this lifetime, many years ago. I had recognised our bond the moment I met her. We had become close for a year or so, before drifting apart. We have subsequently met each other by accident on a number of occasions over the years, and our bond has always been apparent.

The following morning I slept through my alarm. I was certainly being given a lot of rest. I had much to do and I did not seem to be able to do anything.

There had been a lot more to both the ‘jigsaw’ and the ‘Snakes and Ladders’ analogies from the meeting with the spirits than I had known at the time. This was particularly so with the jigsaw puzzle.

There are aspects of every religion which do not sit well with even the most ardent followers of the religion. This is because our soul recognises the truth. The fact that many wars have been fought, allegedly over religions, is a nonsense, as is persecution of people if their beliefs are different than our own. Accumulation of wealth by various religions is in direct contradiction to the very principles which religions are built upon.

Living with our soul is not something that we have to study. Living with our soul is not something that we go to college to learn. Living with our soul is something that we choose to allow to happen. It is natural for us to live with our souls, but the disease of artificial fulfilment has interfered with our natural ability to live with our souls.

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The disease of artificial fulfilment was created by our conscious mind to provide it with a reason to be maintained and strengthened, rather than discarded. Our conscious mind has underestimated that the strength that our conscious mind has built through the disease of artificial fulfilment, will eventually come full circle and lead us back to the truth. In this lifetime, the disease of artificial fulfilment is completing the circle and starting to consume itself.

One of my problems at this time was that I needed to keep stopping to extract the roots of my conscious mind. Each time that I needed to extract a root I lost my ability to flow.

Another problem was that I was looking for the event which I suspected would signify the end of my journey. I felt that this event was close to occurring and I was impatient. I wanted my journey and the battle to be over. I knew that it did not matter, and I knew that I would never stop learning and teaching. However, I wanted to stop fighting every step of the way. I had not really fought every step of the way, but I certainly felt like I had.

There had not been one past life regression that I had anticipated, nor had there been one past life regression that had surprised me. My first past life regression had surprised me more because I’d had a regression, than what had happened in that past life.

I had reached a point where I could feel my soul leave my body, and I knew when I was on the spirit plane.

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That morning the pain in my knee and my lower back had both been particularly intense.

I was climbing a tree with my brother. My sister had tried to talk me out of climbing, but I had climbed the tree anyway. I was around eleven years old and I was the youngest of the three. I fell from that tree and I shattered my knee. The injury was permanent, but it did not kill me.

My brother felt that he had failed to protect me. My brother in that lifetime was Rodney. My sister felt that she should have tried harder to stop me climbing. My sister was Claire. The lifetime had occurred in England, after my lifetime with Ellen and before my second lifetime with Marie.

I had loved climbing when I was very young. According to my mother, I was climbing tall hedges when I was eighteen months old. At some point in this lifetime I began to hate climbing, and now I cannot even climb onto a roof. I have a very real fear that I would fall.

The Native American lifetime seemed to have taken place in the late 1600’s. Three hundred years of learning had followed. The South American lifetime was in the early 1700’s, and I had drowned myself in the late 1700’s. I did not know how many lifetimes were in between, or if I would ever need to know.

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Another horse riding accident, it was sort of an informal race. My horse had fallen and landed on top of me. This time breaking my back, which was the cause of my lower back pain.

I was 15, it was the mid-1700’s and I was in America. I was wearing a white blouse shirt and I had been leading the race. There were people around me, they had been watching the race. I recognised some of them but I could not identify them.

It did not appear that there was any significance in this lifetime other than the pain. However, I would in time begin to recognise some of the souls who had watched the race.

After I had discovered my lifetime as a stable boy, I had felt that I should have had an affinity with horses, but I did not. I distrusted horses, between the lifetime of the horse race, and my lifetime with Ellen, I understood why I distrusted horses.

As usual both my knee pain and my lower back pain started to subside.

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I had nearly cleared the bridge to my soul and I had mixed feelings. Every time I had completed a stage of my journey so far, I had expected my journey to be over, only to enter into the next stage. I could not imagine what could possibly come next, but I knew that this did not mean anything.

Trish, and every other psychic with whom I had spoken, had told me that I had a lot of spiritual protection around me. I had not paid much attention at the time, but I now realised the extent, the significance and the reason for that protection. At least, I believed that I did.

I finally removed that day’s root which was attached to my negative imagination. As I extracted the root, I realised that I had again taken an end result that I knew, and I had inserted the details of when, where and how. As usual, I had gotten the detail wrong. I hoped that extracting the root would put an end to my tendency to insert the details.

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The next root that I started extract was attached to my doubt, the root was very tangled and I struggled with the tangled root for hours.

Nothing would dispel my doubts. I wanted my journey to be over, but I knew that I needed to remove all of the roots to my conscious mind first. The root which was attached to my doubt was proving to be the hardest to remove. I spent most of the day doing my best to ignore the doubt. The root was intertwined around everything.

I attempted to continue working on this book. I reviewed a section where others had confirmed that I had foreseen what was to occur. I found myself doubting their confirmation, it seemed that everything was causing me to doubt.

It was apparent that removing this particular root was something that I needed to do by myself. I did ask for help, but it did not seem that I was going to get any assistance. The task of removing the ‘doubt’ root was so difficult that it blocked everything else.

I desperately wanted to flow again, but I knew that I could not flow while I was removing the roots. I wanted confirmation. I wanted the two events which I believed would signify the end of my journey to occur, so that I would know that my journey was complete, and real. This was a nonsense.

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The next morning, my alarm again failed to bring me back. I tried to make oversleeping a problem, but oversleeping was not really a problem. I never did like waking up ‘artificially’, and I had only recommenced waking artificially to enable myself to sleep better at night during the phase of my journey when I had experienced negativity at night.

I had not believed that I had removed the ‘doubt’ root the previous day, but I must have removed it because I began to extract another root that morning.

That day’s root was attached to ‘what really mattered’. The issues that I found myself worried about that morning, such as the things I had not done during the previous few days, did not really matter, at least from the timing aspect. I immediately started to extract the ‘what really mattered’ root.

I had spent a lot of time on the spirit plane during the previous few days, which had stopped me doing things on the earth plane. I had been worried about this, but I had no reason to be worried. It was a positive development, not a negative development.

Despite my difficulties extracting the roots to my conscious mind during the previous few days, I had been able to do everything that I really needed to do. The only problem was that I could not do much of what I had wanted to do, which only caused me a problem was because I was not flowing.

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I understood that I had been given help the previous day after all. When I had dropped my boys home, Rose had been full of doubts. She had started questioning me, and as I answered her doubts, I was removing my own doubts.

I had not been concerned about Rose’s doubts because I knew that her doubts were based on artificial values, which was exactly what my own doubts were based on. By identifying this within Rose, I had also identified it within myself. This is what had allowed me to extract, or nearly extract, the root which was attached to my doubt. I had not realised what had occurred at the time, but as usual my hindsight is impeccable.

That morning I started to receive the insights that I had blocked the previous day. I recalled a little more of what I had learned on the spirit plane.

If our drop of water, flowing along with the river is attached to dirt or other debris, its journey is slower. It is the junk, attached to the drop of water, which snags on the bank, or other obstacles, or even junk attached to other drops of water. Every time that the drop of water is snagged, the drop of water’s progress is impeded. The only way to flow unimpeded is for the drop of water to free itself of the junk which has attached itself.

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It was apparent that the timing was more critical than I realised. I needed to reach a certain point, at a certain time. Fate ensured that I did, either by speeding things up or slowing things down as required. I did not know why the timing was so important, but I suspected that it had to do with interaction with others, ensuring that I was where I needed to be, when I needed to be there. I did know, and I should have known all along, that my preferred timing was irrelevant.

Rose’s role at this time was more critical than either of us realised. She had been positive about what I was experiencing when I needed her to be positive, and negative when I needed her to be negative.

The following morning I was hit with doubt from Rodney. I did not need his doubt and I did not accept his doubt. Fate was letting me know that I had not removed all of the ‘doubt root’ after all.

Joe was experiencing a difficult time. It was apparent that my task of assisting Joe, was not yet complete. I allowed my soul to address his concerns and I sowed some positive seeds.

Fate again conspired to give me the time that I needed to complete a few tasks. I would be working from home for the rest of that day, and all of the next day. I had been given another lesson about flowing.

I felt strongly that it would not be long before I retired from the business. I did not know how I would retire. I could not see how I could afford to, but I felt very strongly that I would soon retire from the business. I attempted to determine how, and I created many incorrect scenarios. At this point I had not really come to terms with the relative nature of ‘soon’.

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When the drop of water first lets go off the bank, it has no concept of how far it is to the ocean. The drop of water has no concept of how the long the journey will take. Each time that it approaches a bend in the river, it is sure that the ocean must be around the bend, and when the ocean is not around the bend, the drop of water becomes disappointed.

If the drop of water had known how long and how difficult its journey would be at times, it would never have left the safety of the riverbank. The drop of water considers clinging to the riverbank again from time to time, but it does not because there are two things which the drop of water knows for sure. The drop of water knows that the river will reach the ocean eventually, and it knows that it will never reach the ocean if it clings to the bank.

The drop of water also knows that there is less chance of any dirt or debris becoming attached while it is flowing.

I was sure that I had extracted that day’s root my conscious mind, and that I had finally extracted the previous day’s root as well. I found myself immediately starting to extract another root. This root was attached to ‘what if’ and ‘if only’.

That night when I crossed to the spirit plane, I was told that I was exactly on track and that everything was exactly on track.

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The caterpillar constructs its cocoon from all of the accumulated rubbish from its existence. This is what must be shed before the caterpillar can become a butterfly.

Every soul contact I’d had with my soulmate, had been mid to late morning my time, which was between the hours of midnight and dawn her time.

Those who hunt for sport will often be given a short incarnation as a hunted animal, so that they can learn what it is like to be hunted. Souls carry their negative emotions such as fear and anger with them when they take animal form.

The attractiveness of living in a cabin or on a small island was not as new to me as I had believed. There had been many times in my life when all that I had wanted to do was to live in a cabin or on a small island.

The following morning, I spoke with Joe who explained that his youngest daughter, who lived in the country, was coming back to the city and would live with him. His daughter had told him that she’d had a nagging feeling for days that she needed to come back, and as soon as she had made the decision to come back, the feeling had gone away.

All of the things that I had learned were being demonstrated to me over and over again, and yet all of the things that I had learned, had always been present within my life. I had not seen the truth of reality, because my conscious mind had been blocking the truth of reality.

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I constantly received small confirmations. However, I had not encountered the event which I believed would signify the end of my journey, and put my journey beyond doubt. This anticipated event did not matter as much to me as it had meant the previous day, or the day before that.

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