Living In Circles
I knew that I had known Sue in previous lifetimes from the first time that I had met Sue, or more accurately had been led to Sue. That Sue had also played a role in the Jesus lifetime was apparent, but there was a deeper connection between us.
Sue is remarkably 'tuned in' to communication with the spirit and higher planes, but information of how we are connected had been withheld from both of us. As Sue read the draft of Searching for My Soul, Sue recognised the Native American lifetime. Sue had also been part of the tribe, and Sue had been taken away when our village was raided whilst the men were away.
We spoke briefly about events in that Native American lifetime and we discussed that Sue had also met a number of people from the Jesus lifetime. Neither of us knew why a group of souls who had walked together in the Jesus lifetime, had found their way to this part of the world in this lifetime, but we knew that there was a reason.
When Sue and I had briefly discussed these issues we were in a small room where Sue worked. We were absolutely surrounded by spirits. The room almost crackled with their presence.
Later that day, I sat quietly at Nancy's home, and I began to understand that many of the souls who were being brought together would develop whatever abilities they needed for their specific roles, and would come together in the spiritual centre to make themselves freely available to all who sought them. A part of our collective destiny, was to provide guidance to those who sought the truth.
|I continued to be surrounded by an incredible
aura of well being, and to share my life with a large, ever changing number
A few days later, I had dinner with Sally and some other friends in Melbourne. It was mentioned that we were close to what had been predicted as the 'New World Order'.
I knew that the 'New World Order' had already started, and I knew that the new world order was very different from what had been predicted, or expected. The new world order is an order of a love based society, which will replace the fear based society, that has been the environment that we have chosen to experience for many thousands of years. We are at the beginning of a love based society, the snowball has started to form. The snowball will grow, the snowball will continue to build on itself, but it will take many years before love really becomes the fabric of our earth plane environment.
The important point is that the new world order has begun, and what has begun cannot be halted. More and more souls will choose to see the reality of love. As we choose to see the reality of love, the love which is the true fabric of existence will feed upon itself.
The current pattern of my life was clear. I only experienced difficulties when I resisted what was occurring, which had been one of my earliest experiences, but despite all that I had experienced, on occasions I continued to resist what was occurring. The experience in itself was a very powerful, albeit personal demonstration that once the love based environment has started, the love based environment cannot be stopped.
|As time passed, I became used to having spirits
around me. Spirits were around me as spirits had always been around me.
However, I now accepted the presence of spirits and I spoke with the spirits
whenever they, or I had a reason to talk.
I also allowed myself to be open to the spirituality all around me, and I saw more of the spirituality all around me each day. I no longer saw the spirituality all around me as amazing, or as a coincidence. That spirituality surrounds us is the true nature of our existence, and I now accepted the true nature of our existence without comment.
The same principle and process had applied with my view of the world, and the spiritual abilities which I had discovered were within me. I accepted the reality of our existence, and I seldom commented on aspects of the reality of our existence, even to myself.
I had retained my peace, despite the reality that my world was basically the same as my world had been when I had existed within despair. Nothing had changed within my world, but everything had changed within my world, because I saw the world differently. I had created a new environment, from within my old environment.
I continued to experience past life memories, some of which I did not find particularly pleasant. Past life memories were something else which I had become used to, and I knew that I would continue to draw on my past lives, whenever it was necessary for me to draw on my past lives. However, what I did not know at this time was how many past life memories I would draw upon, or why I would need to draw upon my past life memories.
The past life memories which I was drawing on at that time were incidental, and I felt that there was no point in recording my incidental past life memories. I did not know that I would draw on some significant past life memories, as I needed the significant past life memories, or that it would once more become appropriate for me to record my past life memories.
Occasionally, I would experience a physical difficulty such as a migraine which would prevent me from doing something that I intended to do. After I had decided not to do whatever I had intended doing, the migraine or whatever would disappear.
Everything continued to 'come together' in unexpected ways, and not everything occurred as I would have chosen. It was only in hindsight that I really began to become aware of the pattern which applied to everything 'coming together'. Each time that something came together, I would close a circle, only to begin another circle parallel to the circle which I had completed. Each time that I completed a circle, my personal circle became larger, and the sum of my awareness grew.
I accepted everything as everything was, and I did not become concerned about anything. I knew that being concerned about anything would achieve nothing. I put up no resistance, and I flowed with whatever occurred. Many of the difficulties which I had experienced previously recurred, and I knew that I had created my environment to experience my recurring difficulties from the perspective of no resistance.
It was some time later, days, maybe even weeks when I truly understood that I had moved to a higher level of awareness. Those from whom I had sought guidance, now seemed to learn from me. More appropriately, I knew that I had the key which would allow those from whom I had sought guidance to take the next step, if they so chose.
When I first realised what had occurred, I found the change fascinating. Later, when the full realisation of what had occurred dawned on me, I felt humbled, and for the first time I truly understood, or more accurately began to understand.
My experiences of the earth plane continued to feel real. I knew that many of my experiences were real. The love, the joy and the happiness which stemmed from my experiences were real. The positive nature of pure love creates joy and happiness, and pure love is the only reality. The reality of pure love exists on the earth plane as well as everywhere else. Pure love is the fabric of our existence.
As the days continued to pass, my peace and my understanding remained. Slowly, and not necessarily each day, I felt my peace increasing. I felt that peace and understanding were radiating from within me.
As my understanding continued to grow, I knew that there was something which I had been told in many ways, and I had not quite understood exactly what was being said to me. My example was not about me. My experiences were real. I had found my way back to the higher plane, but I was incidental to the example, which was not about me.
I understood what was different about those who became masters whilst on the earth plane. Those who became masters whilst on the earth plane experienced the great peace of pure love. The great peace of pure love is what I had seen in Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, Hansa and Sitting Crow. However, until now I had not understood precisely what I had witnessed.
One thing which did surprise me, was that on occasion it was Katerina's higher self which communicated with me, not my higher self. I understood how Katerina's higher self could communicate with me, and why Katerina's higher self would communicate with me. Nevertheless, the experience surprised me.
As each day passed, events continued to repeat themselves and each time that events repeated themselves, my understanding increased a little more.
Little by little points were remade, until I understood my role. I knew what I needed to do. However, for a long time I felt a lack of confidence at fulfilling my role, until I finally understood that it was not a lack of confidence that I felt, but in reality I was not quite ready to fulfil my role.
In the meantime, my funds were unexpectedly replenished and I began making arrangements to travel to Russia and marry Katerina. I would be travelling when I had told Katerina I would travel to Russia, a few weeks earlier before I left Paris. At the time that I had told Katerina when I would travel to Russia, I did not know how I would be able to travel to Russia.
Time continued to pass and I continued to have minor physical ailments. I continued to attempt to overcome those minor physical ailments by a variety of means, but nothing worked, until I used my healing crystal. I seemed to be making a point to myself.
The same scenarios continued to repeat over and over again, until I allowed myself to let each event wash over me, and pass through me. I continued to see the spirituality which surrounds us, and I continued to marvel that the truth is indeed everywhere, and indeed within all that is.
Time continued to pass, and I remained at peace. Occasionally, I would lose my peace and each time that I lost my peace I would question the reality of my experiences.
Each time that I questioned the reality of my experiences God said, "The times when you lose your peace are diminishing."
Occasionally, I would begin to question something specific and each time that I questioned something specific, events would transpire which would demonstrate God's point.
I understood that I had known the timing of events in principle all along. I knew that I would not commence teaching, until I completed the review of what I had experienced. I knew that the form which my teaching would take would be mainly through my books.
However, up to that point I had reviewed my experiences and my life many times. My review of my experiences and my life was an ongoing process. Each time that I Reviewed my experiences and my life, I increased my awareness. What I did not understand was that there would come a time when I returned to the beginning of my recorded journey, and completed one final review of my journey from beginning to end.
The days continued to pass. Little by little I was slowly able to see everything clearer. I continued to be amazed by the spirituality within all that is. What I once thought of as coincidences continued to occur, and seemed to increase. There was very little which occurred in my life that was not coincidence, except that I knew there was no such thing as coincidence.
Points were continually demonstrated to me. It seemed that each time that I knew that I had been told something, or that I had been led to something there would be a demonstration of the point.
The spirituality around me continued to increase and the circular environment which was my life continued to turn. Each time that my environment turned, I saw a little more of the spirituality which is all around us, and each time that I repeated events, I repeated events with a little more awareness and understanding.
I had often thought that I could have made my journey easier by winning the lottery or something, which could have provided for me without my having to be concerned about my financial difficulties, my need to work, and my need to balance my spiritual path with my old earth plane world.
|I had previously reached a point where I had
understood that winning a lottery would make me less of an example. I
now understood that I needed my environment. I needed all of my perceived
difficulties, and I needed the requirement to balance my perceived difficulties.
I needed the environment which I had created. An environment which in itself moved in circles to allow me to experience what I needed to experience. I needed to hold onto my environment, even when I was walking away from my environment, until I had experienced what I needed to experience.
The days continued to pass, and I continued to meditate, and allow many colours to wash over me. I continued to have minor physical ailments, and I continued to remove my minor physical ailments with crystals.
One day my spirit travelled to a great hall.
The great hall was called The Hall Of Masters. There was a long table and there were masters sitting on either side of the table. I walked in and looked towards the back of the room. I could not see the back of the room. The table stretched on and on, seemingly without end and masters sat either side of the table. I felt that I could ask the masters anything, but I chose not to ask any questions. I chose to leave the room.
When I returned from The Hall Of Masters I asked, "What was that experience about?"
God explained, "A simple demonstration. The masters are together, and can be called upon if needed."
"The Hall Of Masters was not real."
"The Hall Of Masters is an illusion created on the spirit plane, which does not mean that The Hall Of Masters does not exist. The Hall Of Masters can be visited when you, or any need to seek assistance from a master."
"Will I visit The Hall Of Masters again?"
|I reflected on the patterns which were my life,
the circular environment which I had created. I continued to experience
the same events over and over.
As everything started to come together in respect of my trip to Russia, it was apparent that I did not really have sufficient funds for all that I was required to do. I'd had enough funds to get everything going, but not enough funds the complete my arrangements. I did not know where the additional funds which I needed would come from. However, it was fascinating to watch the circle of my environment continue to turn.
One day, after reading my notes, Nancy asked me if I knew who the Queen had been in a lifetime which I had shared with Sally. When Nancy asked the question, I did not know who the Queen was, but I did wonder why Nancy had asked about that particular lifetime, and about the Queen.
A day or two after Nancy had asked if I knew who the Queen had been, I was required to have lunch with a woman for business purposes. I had seen the woman a number of times, but I had only spoken to woman on rare occasions. However, I had been very aware of the woman's presence every time that I had seen her. Notwithstanding my awareness of the woman's presence, I was certainly not looking forward to having lunch with the woman. What started out as a quick lunch was suddenly five hours, and I had not noticed the time go. We talked easily about nothing in particular. I looked at the woman and I felt that it would be natural for me to reach over and kiss the woman, which I did not do.
As I drove home after our lunch, I knew that I knew the woman from some point in my existence. The ease of our conversation reminded me of the first time that Sally and I had dinner together. It was obvious that there was a connection between the woman and myself, and that our connection had been and remained strong.
|When Nancy had raised the question of my previous
lifetime a few days earlier, we had discussed that Nancy and I had both
felt our connection, when we had initially met several years earlier.
The morning after my lunch with the woman, I returned to my review of Understanding My Destiny. I stopped my review for a while, and I wondered who the woman was. When I glanced down at the page from Understanding My Destiny at which I had stopped, the page coincidentally was where I had recalled my time in the African Royal House.
I thought; 'No, it cannot be. I am imagining it.' On my way to the office that morning I saw the woman as she had been when she was my Queen. I thought; 'This is too much.' Later that afternoon, I saw the woman's face in the crowd when I had broken my neck in a horse riding accident in America. In that lifetime the woman had been my sister.
Later, I reflected on all of the souls whom I had encountered in this lifetime, that I had known in other lifetimes. I searched my experiences for our first meeting in this lifetime. In each instance, I had recognised the soul immediately. I supposed that it was not a coincidence that many souls from my previous lifetimes, had managed to find their way to me now. How else would I have truly understood the nature of our connection with souls lifetime after lifetime?
In addition to the spiritual nature of all that is which I was seeing with ever increasing clarity, the circular nature of our existence was also becoming more apparent. As had happened when my level of awareness had previously taken a step up, I became very aware of the circular nature of all that is. I saw the circular nature of our existence wherever I looked.
Another thing which underlined the point, was that my step up in awareness had followed a particularly difficult and intense period where I had temporarily lost sight of my spirituality.
|I reflected on each new level of awareness
which I had achieved. The pattern of intense difficulties followed by
increased awareness was apparent throughout my journey. Coincidentally,
I had not seen this circular aspect of my increasing awareness, until
I had begun to understand the full extent of the circular nature of our
As my awareness and understanding increased, I stopped seeing other's views of spirituality as incorrect. I no longer felt like saying; 'Well, that is not exactly right ….' I knew that 'correcting another's understanding' was not my role. In fact, 'correcting another's understanding' is no one's role.
We all experience whatever we have chosen to experience, and as long as we are experiencing, we are fulfilling our destiny.
If I heard a religious person say something like; 'repent or go to hell', I would shrug my shoulders and turn away. New Agers who talk about bodies being temples had the same impact on me, none. What another person had chosen to experience did not matter. I had found the truth within, and I knew that all would find the truth within, when they chose to find the truth within. When any would choose to find the truth within, was not for me to say.
I recalled that when I had first begun to become aware of the power of my message, I had been told not to worry. I now understood that the power of my message was far greater than I could have imaged, and I knew why I had no reason to worry.
The days became weeks.
|I continued to review my notes. I was fascinated
that every time that I reviewed an aspect of my Judas lifetime, I felt
the breaks in my legs. Not surprisingly, my Judas lifetime had a particularly
powerful impact on me.
As my awareness continued to increase, I could see how one minor everyday occurrence could conveniently provide a necessary experience for a large number of souls.
I knew that I, or anyone for that matter, could do nothing wrong. I knew that there was nothing that we needed to do, except experience. What had been a 'nice concept' which I had struggled with, had become my reality.
I was beginning to see all of the times when I had attempted to influence events very clearly. I had attempted to influence events far more often than I had been aware of. With my 20/20 hindsight, I could understand why it had been necessary for my higher self to withhold much information from me.
As the weeks passed, I gained more understanding of the guidance aspect of the role I had been chosen to fulfil. For example, where I had once known that I needed to provide guidance to Joe, I now knew that I should not provide guidance to Joe, even though I knew that Joe still needed guidance.
I continued to have fleeting regressions into past lifetimes as I drew on past life memories of various types, but they were not significant.
I had arranged to travel to Russia and marry Katerina when I had obtained the unexpected funds. As the time grew closer to when I would leave, it was becoming increasingly apparent that I would have nearly enough funds to travel to Russia and marry Katerina, but not quite enough. In addition, I started receiving some unexpected bills, and the pressure once more began to build.
|I found the circle fascinating, although I
cannot say that I was particularly excited about the detail of the circle.
I suspected that the pressure would mount again, before a solution presented itself and despite the fact that I did not enjoy what I was experiencing, I did observe the developments with interest. I had after all recreated the environment.
I was fascinated to watch the circle continue to turn. I had again reached a point where I desired nothing more than to walk away from everything, and to search for a place of peace.
I was also fascinated that within a few hours of understanding that I was not supposed to provide guidance for Joe, I became aware of two new problems which Joe faced.
From time to time I reflected how the events in my life had repeated themselves over and over. Having written about the events, it was easy to see the pattern because events frequently 'happened' to repeat themselves at a time when I 'happened' to be reviewing the original similar event, which had occurred months previously.
One afternoon I returned to The Hall Of Masters on the spirit plane. It was a time when I was struggling a little.
I entered The Hall Of Masters. I asked, "What I should do?"
A number of masters replied at the same time, "There is nothing that you need to do."
I walked along The Hall Of Masters for some distance. There was an empty chair. A master whom I did not know said, "Your place awaits."
I knew that The Hall Of Masters was a symbolic hall, but I understood the message clearly.
I was in contact with God whenever I felt a need to ask a direct question. More often than not my questions were not necessarily about me. I did receive a number of messages for Nancy in respect of her path. By following God's advice I was able to guide Nancy to where her journey would take her.
|When my financial difficulties began to build
again, I asked God if I had any reason for concern.
God replied, "You have no reason for concern."
I accepted what God told me.
Periodically, I would feel my aura increase and each time that my aura increased, I felt invigorated, and I felt my internal energy increase, as my internal energy radiated from within me.
One night, I considered a minor matter which continued to cause me a little concern. I opened myself up and I saw the matter resolve itself on the spirit plane. Later, I thought about what had occurred.
God said, "Allow yourself to view everything from beyond the single dimension of the earth plane."
When I meditated, I was often presented with visions. I knew that the visions were not necessarily visions of the future. The visions were scenes which I would be presented with to enable me to experience a set of circumstances, and allow me to consider how I would react to the circumstances.
On another night I watched Evelyn's crystals, before moving onto the spirit plane.
As I entered the spirit plane I was picked up and carried forward. I flew through existence in and around everything at an ever increasing speed. The experience was very powerful, too powerful. I was not in control, and I became a little frightened so I returned to my body.
I also experienced receiving a back massage from a spirit. It was another extremely powerful experience and the tingling and pressure in my back lasted for an age after the back massage had ceased.
|Time continued to pass and each day my understanding
grew. I continued to desire my new world, but I remained in the interim
environment which I had created to take me from my old environment, to
my new environment.
Events continued to repeat and I continued to watch in fascination. The events of my life seemed balanced between my old world and my new world. It seemed as though I needed to remain in my old world, but I was not required to do anything. I saw opportunities present themselves again and again, and I watched with interest as those who were given the opportunities, continued to travel a circle and not make the decision to break their circle.
At times I did feel like grabbing people by the scruff of the neck and forcing them to make a decision, but I knew that forcing people to do or see anything, was not my role. So I watched and I waited. When it was time for me to take action, I took action.
I mostly I reviewed and questioned. As I reviewed and questioned I saw that I had known far more than I had been aware of. As my understanding grew, I was able to see the patterns in respect of my experiences which I had previously overlooked.
Whenever I did not have a physical ailment, I had an incredible sense of well being. I could feel energy and love radiating from within me with an ever increasing intensity. As I allowed myself to see the pattern of my physical ailments, it became apparent that my physical ailments were not real, but illusions created to control my level of well being for reasons which I did not fully appreciate, but I suspected were something to do with my need to remain partially in my old world.
|Events continued to occur other than I would
have consciously chosen, and as I reflected on the patterns of the events
of my life, I was able to see a pattern to my response to events which
occurred other than I would have consciously chosen.
I had reached a point where I left events which occurred other than I would have consciously chosen alone, at every level. An alternate course of action would then present itself for me to follow. Whether the alternate course of action completed the task as I would have preferred, or presented me with an alternate experience was irrelevant.
The pattern of my involvement within the business continued, regardless what else I needed to do, I always completed what I needed to do for the business on time, although there was seldom any time to spare.
I was fascinated every time that Nancy relayed her experiences of her own awakening to me. Nancy's experiences were unique to Nancy, but I saw parallels between the principles of Nancy's experiences, and my own experiences. For the most part, Nancy seemed to handle her experiences better than I had. It seemed to me that Nancy's path was easier than my path had been.
God said, "What precisely do you think is the point of your example?"
|I continually drew on my past life experiences.
An event here, an occurrence there, and not all of the past life experiences
which I drew on were from my human lifetimes. Like much which had occurred,
as my past life experiences became permanent, I stopped commenting on
my past life experiences and accepted my past life experiences as part
of my existence.
As I continued reviewing my notes and my completed books, it was more apparent that I did know everything that was going to happen. However, I had chosen to block my knowledge and allow myself to fully experience what was going to occur.
As I re-read my books, I was able to recall the events which I was reviewing and to apply my awareness to my past experiences, so that I could fully understand what I had experienced.
One morning I had no lights, because of a blown fuse. On my way to the office that morning, I saw myself attempting to fix the blown fuse and receiving a shock. I thought that what I saw was only my imagination. That night, I repaired the fuse and as I replaced the fuse, I stood to one side. There was a flash and a bang and the fuse was blown out of my hand. Fortunately standing to one side and holding the fuse lightly had allowed the fuse to be blown out of my hand, and there was no harm done. The occurrence had been different in detail to what I had foreseen, mainly because I had stood to one side, as an unconscious response to what I had foreseen.
In my vision I had seen myself standing directly in front of the fuse box, and I was blown across the veranda to be knocked unconscious. As I reflected on this event, I saw that the event was a repeat of events which I had experienced many times before. The detail of what I had foreseen would occur did not occur, but in principle the event did occur. As I completed my final review I understood that the reason why event had occurred other than I had foreseen, was because I had foreseen the event, and subconsciously made the necessary adjustment to 'protect' myself.
Events had occurred as they were meant to occur, because I was meant to foresee the event, and alter what I had foreseen. To foresee events is an ability which we all have, and that I had demonstrated the ability to foresee events as part of the example, was not a coincidence.
|Joe's daughter was in hospital, which meant
that Joe was required to have contact with his former wife, which caused
Joe to consciously think about his former wife. When Joe did think about
his former wife, he was sharply reminded that dwelling on his former wife
was against his best interest. Joe firstly developed a rash and another
time fell whilst he was thinking about his former wife and grazed his
hand. Joe remembered that I had warned him, that he would face that particular
Joe was also experiencing recurring difficulties within other areas of his life. Joe was being given another opportunity to break his circle, and I knew that Joe was required to face his choices on his own.
I again saw exactly what the business could be, a vision triggered by an opportunity which I had identified to obtain funds, to buy the business.
I asked, "What was that about?"
God replied, "To show you what is possible."
"Will I obtain funds and acquire the business?"
"No, you have been shown what would be possible, if your path was different."
As the days continued to pass, Katerina's spirit remained me. I lived alone, and I spent much of my time in solitude as I reviewed my notes since I had begun my journey. I felt neither alone nor lonely.
|I experienced a short period where Marie was
on my mind. I did see Marie from time to time and when I did see Marie,
I barely acknowledged Marie's presence. I knew that Marie was not meant
to be in my life, and I found that consciously being aware that Marie
was not meant to be in my life, was an interesting experience. All that
I felt more than a year since our relationship had ended, was love from
our bond. I found the whole scenario fascinating.
God said, "If Marie came to you with any problem, you would do all you could to assist her."
I replied, "Yes, I know."
"Being aware that you would assist Marie with any problem is enough."
One morning I decided to raise this issue again. I asked, "Why do I not reach out to Marie?"
God replied, "You are not meant to reach out to Marie."
"Why do I continue to be drawn to Marie?"
"The bond which you have with Marie is very powerful. The bond which you have with Marie has been strengthened during more than 2,000 years of shared experiences. You do not reach out to Marie, because you are aware that you are not meant to be within each other's lives at the moment."
"Maybe I am afraid of rejection."
"In what context? Because you once felt rejected? Marie could not have accepted your offer of love in this lifetime. Sharing this lifetime with Marie was not meant to be. Sharing this lifetime with Marie would have taken you away from your path, and your soulmate."
"I know, but …"
"But nothing. Has it not occurred to you that Marie needed to experience whatever Marie experienced? Has it not occurred to you that Marie must now experience, whatever Marie is experiencing? Has it not occurred to you that if you were to reach out to Marie, you would interfere with Marie's chosen and necessary experiences?"
"You know that I am aware of all of these things but …"
"No buts. Have you forgotten your empathic ability?"
|In the meantime, Anne had resigned from her
job and given notice in respect of her rented home. Anne was due to commence
her new life, at the same time as I was allegedly travelling to Russia.
I found the cause of my power problems. My ten year old son had found an electrical termination point and removed the safety caps before joining the wires together. This particular termination point was attached to his bedroom light, and amazingly he had turned the light off before joining the wires together. If not he would have killed himself.
I discovered the cause of my power problems after hearing stories of people being killed in unusual circumstances, which demonstrated that when 'our time is up', our time is up and when our time is not up, our time is not up. There is no point in 'but', or 'if only'. If we are meant to die, if 'our time is up', our time is up. Our time is up when we have completed all of our chosen experiences within our lifetime.
I had lunch with Toula, a former secretary of mine. I knew that Toula had experienced a difficult time which became far worse, after I left the company which we had both worked for. I had no idea how depressed Toula had become, but I had known how depressed Toula had become. Not long after I had left the company we had both worked for, I had 'seen' Toula in a very bad way, and I had known that I could help Toula. At the time, I had written off what I 'saw' as my imagination or something, but now I understood the truth. Toula had experienced difficulties with a spirit who had been dragging her down. I had known that Toula was having difficulties with a spirit, and I had known that I could help Toula, but I had not been aware of either of these truths.
I knew that I had not been meant to help Toula, otherwise I would have been aware and I would have helped Toula. When we had worked together, and without my conscious knowledge, I had been providing some spiritual protection to Toula, and as such I had been minimising the effect of the spirit, which was why the effect of the spirit had worsened after I had left the company.
|The more that I read my notes, the more that
I became aware of how much I had known, but had been unaware of.
As the days continued to pass, so did the circle of my life continue to turn. The events of my life repeated themselves either in fact, or in principle.
The circles of my life were becoming tighter. Whereas events previously repeated themselves during lifetimes, and then years, months and weeks, the circles of my life now seemed to turn every two or three days. As soon as I became aware of the tightening of the circles of my life, I saw how the tightening of the circles of my life fitted within the pattern of my awareness process. That the circles of my life continued to exist, allowed me to appreciate that there were still experiences for which I had missed a point.
I knew that the circles of my life would continue to turn, until I had experienced all that I needed to experience, which was when I would move on. To move on, I only needed to allow myself to move on.
As time passed, the duration of the circles of my life reduced from days to daily. I understood what was occurring, but I continued to experience difficulty subject to which part of the circle I was experiencing at any given moment.
The time came to take my next step up in respect of my awareness. My spirit left my body, and I stretched out and became one with all that is. I was a part of the very fabric of existence. I felt free from any and all limitation. I was only gone for a few minutes, before I felt my spirit return to my body.
After my spirit returned to my body, I felt the same sensation which I had felt on a number of occasions, but I had not understood. I experienced an all over tingling from within. It was my spirit which was tingling, not my body. It was my spirit that was undergoing the change, not my body.
After taking the step up in awareness my knees were again sore, but my knees did not ache as much as my knees had ached previously.
|The day after I had experienced being one with
all that is, I found that I could reach out and 'touch' all that is. I
could reach out, and touch the 'ocean' which is the very fabric of our
Since my return from overseas I had seen a particular spirit outside of the window of the room where I worked. The spirit constantly stood outside looking in, and for a long time I paid little attention to the spirit outside of the window. I had assumed that the spirit outside of the window was Natasha, but the spirit outside of the window was not Natasha. I realised that the spirit outside of the window was not Natasha, when others commented on seeing the spirit outside of the window. I searched my soul, and I knew that the spirit outside of the window was Yuri, a spirit whom Sue had told me I would have contact with. In his last incarnation Yuri had been Russian, which seemed to be an interesting coincidence.
As I continued to reflect each day, it was becoming apparent that my difficulties were continuing to occur, because I continued to view events from a one dimensional or earth plane perspective. As soon as I realised that I was viewing my life from a one dimensional or earth plane perspective, I realised that much that I had been waiting for had already occurred, but not within the one dimensional or earth plane perspective.
It had been less than 24 hours since my last circle had been completed, and I knew that my circle had nearly turned again. I was preparing to take yet another step up in my awareness.
My circle continued to turn daily, and I experienced difficulty balancing my daily circle. I would reach out and become one with the very fabric of our existence, and within a few hours I would have every nerve on edge, and a little later I would want to leave everything behind me, and find some peace.
|One morning, I reflected on all of the things
which I had felt would happen, but which had not happened. I reflected
on all of the times when I had foreseen what would happen correctly, but
how what whatever it was would happen, incorrectly.
God said, "If you had always been correct, people would have thought that you were special."
I said, "People will sometimes foresee events incorrectly, as they are led to experiences."
"Precisely, and then they would think that they had failed."
My daily circle became more pronounced each day. I could reach out and touch the ocean of existence at will, even when my circle was in its 'down' phase, a development which I found fascinating. I had all but learnt how to leave the thoughts which entered my mind alone, to travel wherever they would.
As the circles of my life continued to turn, and my experiences continued to repeat, it became clear that it was not experience which I was lacking, but awareness. The circles of my life were repeating to increase my awareness, which I had known, but I had not been aware of.
My current circle had allowed me to become aware of my ability to reach out and connect with the ocean of existence, the very fabric of our existence, regardless of what was occurring around me. My new awareness had enabled me to step up one more level of awareness, as the circle of my life continued to turn.
God said, "You have correctly understood what you are experiencing."
|I was able to review my notes closer to the
events which my notes recorded. I had previously not been able to review
my notes for months after the events which my notes recorded, but the
period between writing my notes and reviewing my notes had been reduced
to weeks, days and finally almost hours. My ability to review reflected
the speed with which the circles of my life turned.
It was time for me to take stock. I knew that my environment had been created by myself for a reason, I knew that it was not necessary that I liked my environment, and I was aware that I needed my environment to be exactly as my environment was. However, it was time for me to consider how my environment was.
I had a job which I did not like, in an environment which gave me no sense of achievement whatsoever. My sense of achievement had motivated me all of my working life. Good money had followed, but earning a good living had been a by-product of my achievements, not the motivation for my achievements. I was currently in a position where I was unable to achieve what I could achieve, and as a result I received absolutely no pleasure from my work, despite earning a good living.
I had mounting financial pressures which I was having difficulty servicing. Every time that I started to get on top of my financial pressures, something else came along to increase the financial pressure.
I lived in a house which I did not like, and which did not feel like home, I felt that my house was some place where I was staying out of necessity, which was exactly what my house was.
My fiancée was thousands of miles across the world, in a country and an area which made communication difficult. We hoped to see each other within a week or two of me writing these words, but we had no idea when we would be together. I spent much of my time in solitude.
I was overweight, and I did not seem able to win the battle with my weight. I smoked far too much. I continued to endure headaches, and I continued to suffer from other minor ailments such as haemorrhoids. I had trouble sleeping and when I did sleep, my sleep patterns were irregular.
|I knew that my environment was not remarkable.
I knew that the majority of people would have their own combination of
the day to day problems which I experienced. I knew that there was very
little in my life which gave me joy, and I knew that the majority were
experiencing a similar existence to my own. I suspected that half would
have a better quality of life than I enjoyed, and half would have a worse
quality of life than I endured.
Nevertheless, I reflected on my journey. I reflected on my environment when my journey had started and my environment now that I had returned to touch the higher plane. Nothing had really changed within my environment. Despite my average environment, I had discovered The Truth Of Reality. Despite my average environment, I had experienced many wondrous things, and I had seen beauty beyond my imagination. Despite my average environment, I had travelled to places which I did not believe were possible.
Even at this point on my journey, when I consider all that I had experienced, I sometimes shake my head in disbelief, but every event which I have recorded, and many more experiences which I have not recorded, have happened.
I believed that I had come Full Circle. I had returned to once again be a conscious part of the very fabric of our existence, from within an average, less than satisfactory environment, and I had returned to once again be a conscious part of the very fabric of our existence from within myself.
To return to once again be a conscious part of the very fabric of our existence, there is no training required, there is no covenant to live up to, there is nothing to abstain from, there is no necessity to like our environment, nor is there any secret or mystery.
|We can all find our way home, we can all return
to the higher plane, and we can all become one with ourselves and all
that is. We can all become one with the pure love which is the fabric
of our existence, and is God.
We can all return to the higher plane. Becoming one with all that is, really is simple. We need only choose to become one with all that is, and allow ourselves to become one with all that is.
We can all return to the higher plane from within our own environment, whatever our environment may be. I have returned to the higher plane, and I am no different from any other soul, other than that I, like every other soul, am unique.
I opened the doors to The Hall Of Masters. I walked to the vacant seat and I sat down.
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