Bridging The Gap
It was time to commence a new chapter of my story. I glanced at the title, it was apparent that the title referred to 'bridging the gap' between my old and my new world.
I did not know how long 'bridging the gap' would take, or exactly what 'bridging the gap' would entail. Mostly I gave the chapters of my story titles before I lived the events. Sometimes, I would amend a title or split a chapter. On many occasions I had believed that I had understood what a title meant before I began experiencing the chapter, but usually my belief was incorrect.
I hoped that I knew what this chapter would be about, but my experience told me to be open to whatever eventuated.
On many occasions I had found my notes difficult and confusing to write, but when I would come to review my notes I would not be confused and I would understand my notes easily.
I reached a little understanding which I had known I was close to. My new understanding related to aspects of knowledge and awareness that I already had, but I had not consciously put together. When God had first told me that I was a master, I had believed that God was saying that I was a master. What God was in fact saying was that all are masters. God had told me that all are masters often and in many different ways, and I had understood all are masters. However, I had not quite applied my knowledge to my experience of being a master.
The only difference is that some are aware that they are masters and some are not aware that they are masters. Nevertheless, we are all masters.
I was finally able to take a break from my review. I meditated and then slept.
The following morning, I recommenced the review immediately.
The bridge between my two worlds would be created by physical salvation. I had experienced salvation from many different levels of awareness, but I had not experienced physical salvation. It was physical salvation which had begun following the departure of Jane 2, that would provide the bridge between my old and new worlds. The bridge that would enable me to take the step that I had been unable to take.
As I reflected on the bridge between my worlds, I could see that the bridge between my worlds had already been created at many levels. Spiritually, emotionally, and from the perspective of aspects of my body such as the ego etc, I had already crossed into my new world. I could select an aspect of my journey and I could see how and where I had crossed into my new world. For example; I could choose, say the issue of worry which had been prevalent in my old world and see that I no longer worried in my new world.
I could also see, when I traced the aspects of myself that I chose to consider, that I had taken a step into my new world from the perspective of an individual aspect each time that God or Jesus had told me I would soon enter my new world.
I did not review every aspect of my journey, but every aspect of my journey that I did review led me to realise that I had stepped into my new world in respect of each aspect, of my journey and my awareness.
I had stepped into my new world in respect of each aspect, of my journey and my awareness, whilst retaining my difficult physical environment and I had now taken a few tentative steps to create the bridge to my new world in respect of my physical environment.
I had been looking so intently for a way to enter my new world at a physical level, that I had overlooked that I had in fact entered my new world on many other levels. If I had been able to see that I had entered my new world on many other levels, if I had been fully aware that I had taken so many steps into my new world, I would not have continued searching for the physical step into my new world, and as such I would have changed my experiences.
Once more my awareness had increased and once more the beauty of the world had increased with my awareness. The bridge between our old and new world is the event which is our salvation, but this salvation is created one step, one facet at a time.
In hindsight, I did know that I had received salvation at many different levels, but I had often become confused because after receiving salvation from one aspect of my journey I would then seek salvation from another aspect of my journey. In my confusion I had determined that I was only seeking physical salvation, unaware of precisely what it was that I had been experiencing. As with so many of the concepts I had experienced it was only when I had sufficient pieces of the puzzle to begin to see the whole picture that I began to see the concept as a whole, as the sum of the points which I had previously seen as individual parts, even when I had been able to see that the individual parts were linked.
I reflected that much of Putting The Pieces Together had been focused on bringing the clarity of the whole to the surface and in so doing reducing the confusion of the individual pieces.
What I experienced that morning could be described as wonder. Wonder at the clarity which replaced confusion as the pieces became pictures, wonder that I had not quite been able to put the pictures together previously, and wonder at the speed with which I was now putting those pictures together.
Each time that I had stepped up to my new world, and stepped away I felt that I had failed to step into my new world. However, I had taken a step into my new world and then followed my circle to some new awareness, before taking another step into my new world.
|I had believed that I needed to enter my new world with one
step, but this was a nonsense. With each step I had taken into my new world
I had added substance to my new world and it was only through adding substance
to my new world that I was able to create a new world that I could step
I already existed within my new world in every way except for physically and this 'dual' existence had caused much of the confusion that I had felt. The conflicts had not been a product of my inability to enter my new world, the reality was in reverse. The conflicts had been a product of only being able to enter my new world one step at a time.
Without each step and the substance that each step provided to my new world, I could not wholly enter my new world, because without substance there was no support within my new world.
In fact, I had entered my new world in every way other than physically. The purely physical aspects of myself and my journey were unable to enter my new world, until my new world had substance.
Whilst hovering around the entrance to my new world I had believed that I needed to enter my new world physically, before I could enter my new world any other way. I recalled the events of a few days earlier when the word 'reverse' had been repeated over and over again.
I had been poised ready to enter my new world, but once more I saw the reversing effect of the earth plane. It was my new world which was poised to accept me.
I reflected on all of the times I had moved away from my new world only to return and take another step into my new world. Jane 2 had guided me away from my new world in the belief that she was preventing me from entering my new world, when in fact Jane 2 had been assisting me to enter my new world. The significance of the message 'reverse' had been far greater than I had appreciated when I was receiving the message 'reverse'.
It was another quiet day at the office, again everything went very smoothly and I continued to be slowly drawn back into the business. I did however note with interest that there were some things that I could do and some things that I could not do.
As I reflected on my observation it seemed apparent that what I could do related mostly to future running and organisation. Much of what I was unable to do related to people and structure. As I reviewed what I had accomplished within the business during the time I had been drawn more and more into the mainstream operations, I could see that I retained very little. I would do what was required, make changes, establish protocols or whatever and then the responsibility would be handed to someone else.
The phrase 'a parting gift' appeared in my mind, but I stubbornly refused to do any more than note the phrase with interest.
God asked, "Did you not desire to save the business from itself?"
God's question was not only interesting but fitted very neatly into the picture. However, I could not, or would not embrace the phrase 'a parting gift'.
I reviewed my experiences from within the business since I'd written my report several months earlier. The pattern of restructuring and reorganising was consistent. I supposed that to be effective in restructuring and reorganising I needed to allow myself to be seen to be drawn into the business.
The only difficulty I really had with the scenario which was now being presented to me, was that I was not comfortable with allowing myself to be drawn into the business and then leaving. I had convinced myself, that by allowing myself to be drawn into the business and then leaving I was being unfair, but the reality was that I was viewing matters in reverse. I was attempting to avoid feeling guilt, instead of allowing myself to be drawn into the business, and being satisfied that by allowing myself to be drawn into the business I was effectively giving the business a parting gift. Assuming that I would be departing the business.
That afternoon, the unknown spirit was with me and very active. However, I still did not know who she was, or what she wanted.
I needed to ring Katerina that night. I would again have to stall in respect of when I would be able to send her funds to come to Australia. It would have been much simpler if Katerina's English was sufficient to allow me to explain the reality of my journey to her, but this was not meant to be. I had been aware for some time that our respective circumstances were very much by design.
Our respective circumstances had enabled me to demonstrate that soul mates will find each other, regardless of how unlikely the circumstances of their respective lives made finding each other appear.
That night, I continued my review. It had been after I had accepted that I could not save the business that my involvement within the business had increased. In another of the ironic twists of reality, it was apparent that I needed to accept that I could not save the business, before I was able to save the business.
The following day, I had a new question, which related to the method of my becoming aware of and examining concepts. Sometimes I would have a question, and sometimes I would not have question. Either way I would begin writing and the explanation of the concept would 'appear' on my note pad.
My question was why the explanations of concepts were sometimes in the form of God talking with me, and sometimes directly from me. Occasionally, the explanations of concepts were provided by a master, such as Jesus. My question was why the explanations came from different sources.
God said, "Effectively all sources are the same source. God the ocean. All knowledge all explanations all awareness ultimately comes from God the ocean. That we choose to 'deliver' information from 'different' sources is to demonstrate that there is no correct source, and that the source used to recall knowledge does not alter the reality of that knowledge.
"This series of books has focused on your journey; and all of the knowledge and awareness that has been a part of your journey. The book you will write after this series of books, and in fact have written, will focus on knowledge and awareness itself. It is this book of knowledge and awareness that will be the end result of your journey. Many will seek the knowledge and awareness that is the end result of your journey, many more will seek to understand your journey.
"The book you will write after this series of books will take some time to complete and you still have much to do. However, writing this book of knowledge and awareness will not take as much time as you think. Do not be concerned, you will have sufficient time and resources to complete your work and your experiences.
"Much of what you have experienced has been by way of example and it has been very important that we demonstrate that God will not interfere. God will lie if the truth would interfere. The question of God interfering is a very important question. Many have questioned God's inability to help loved ones, or those in need or any who are 'suffering'. A philosophy that all events are 'the will of God' and that one cannot interfere with the will of God has developed across nearly all known religions.
"'The will of God' is a product of the mirror effect of the earth plane. In fact, 'the will of God' is probably the most significant example of the mirror effect of the earth plane. You yourself still apply this reversing effect of the earth plane on occasion. God does not interfere because it is the will of the individual. What has been termed 'the will of God' is in fact 'the will of the individual'. When it is said that 'the individual cannot interfere with the will of God', the truth is that 'God cannot interfere with the will of the individual'.
"That you as our example have retained your difficulties to this point has been necessary as you understand. However, removing your difficulties or retaining your difficulties is 'the will of Brian', not 'the will of God'. That is the reality.
"The true will of God is very simple. God's will is that all souls return to the higher plane, and this is God's only will.
"Do not overlook the importance or the key word, the constant in what I have just explained. 'Will' means exactly that, 'will' does not mean 'want', if will did mean want, the term would be 'the want of God', regardless of the reversing effect of the earth plane. When I say that the will of God is for all souls to return to the higher plane, I am saying that all souls will return to the higher plane.
"If we return to your example and the reality of all, everything that has occurred has been by your 'will', which as you have discovered is very different from your 'want'. As I have explained, want is a very necessary a part of experience and one must want if one is to create new experiences. However, will is a step beyond want. Will is a concept of the higher plane and want is a concept of the earth plane.
"Will is a more powerful concept than want and when the two are in conflict, will is the dominant concept. However, when both are in agreement nothing can prevent the realisation of the creation of whatever they are jointly focused upon.
"How many times have you or any wanted something, often desperately and been unable to obtain the thing that you wanted, because your want has not been your will. However, when what you wanted coincided with your will there was no barrier that you could not overcome to obtain the thing that you wanted.
"Consider your 'soul mate' experiences. When you made the common mistake of believing that your learning mate was your soul mate you wanted the relationship to succeed. Relatively speaking there were no barriers to that relationship, but the relationship could never be, because the relationship was not your will. The experience is convenient in respect of the example in that the power of your want could not be questioned. In fact, the power of your want surprised you. The reality was that your want grew so powerful, because your want was attempting to over power your will, which is a very important example in respect of all souls. What a soul wants becomes very powerful when what a soul wants, is contrary to a soul's will. However, when you found your soul mate and your want coincided with your will, no power, not even that of a bureaucracy could prevent your will from being fulfilled.
"The truth is that your relationship does not fit into the guidelines for the granting of a visa, but the visa was granted because the combined power of will and want is the greatest power. The circumstance of your life have been perfect for an example from within an average environment.
"Apply this guidance to your difficulties. The desperation of you wanting your difficulties to be over grew as your want attempted to overpower your will. However, your will would not allow your difficulties to be over, because it was not time for your difficulties to be over.
"You will take the last few physical steps into your new world as you have foreseen. That I tell you that you will enter your new world is no different from when I told you that Katerina will obtain her visa, that you will be the example, or that you will firstly experience and then teach. Forget the issue of timing, timing was and is irrelevant as you have now experienced. How could you have experienced that timing was irrelevant if I and others had not assisted you to make, or attempt to make, timing relevant?
"There are still a number of minor issues were what you want is other than your will, but I tell you that this discrepancy is only a discrepancy in timing, not in result. You will enter your new world physically, you will be with your soul mate, your books will be published, and you will establish a spiritual centre.
"All of these things will occur when your will coincides with your want. You may not 'want' to establish a spiritual centre at this moment but you will want to establish a spiritual centre when it is time and when you want establish a spiritual centre, you will establish a spiritual centre.
"As with all aspects of reality, you can now apply your new awareness and see how your new awareness fits within both the picture of your journey, and the picture of your awareness.
"I once told you that you will not worry, and you do not worry. I also told you that you will not want, and you will not want.
"It is the combined power of want and will, when applied in unison which delivers the power of creation.
"It is the power of creation which is the very foundation of your new world, and it is the power of creation that has enabled you to give your new world what could be described as spiritual substance. It is also the power of creation which will enable you to step into your new world."
I reflected on the picture which I had been reconstructing. Every time I had felt that I was close to completing the picture I would find another piece, or some more depth or expand the picture in some way. This picture that I was rebuilding was growing all of the time, and I continued to shuffle the pieces as I slowly managed to place each part of the picture in exactly the right place.
I recalled the time a few months earlier when my journey to awareness had become a journey within my awareness, after my 'rebirth'. I had known that much of my journey within awareness would involve removing the mirror effect of the earth plane, but I had not understood to extent to which I was still looking into the mirror, instead of through the mirror.
The key to removing the reversing effect of the earth plane, which is a mirror of reality, is to allow ourselves to look through the mirror. We must look past the reflection of reality and see reality. We can all look past the reflection of reality and see reality, by allowing ourselves to look past the reflection of reality and see reality. We need to look around us and view the reality that we see.
We need to apply this knowledge of the mirror to what is commonly accepted as the will of God or the path to God. Consider, for example; the concept of self-sacrifice as the way to God.
God does not require a sacrifice, and the only person affected by self-sacrifice, is self. We are not required to sacrifice ourselves for others, we only need to love, to experience, and to be who we are. If we attempt to use self-sacrifice as the way to God we are saying that we are not good enough. We have to sacrifice, to deprive ourselves, for us to be good enough for God. This is a nonsense. If we choose to help others, we should allow ourselves to experience helping others. If we choose to sacrifice ourselves we are only having an experience of sacrificing ourselves. The only point to the experience of sacrificing ourselves is for us to understand that we are worthwhile and that we are not something which can or should be scarified.
Self-sacrifice is not the will of God, self-sacrifice is the will of self. The path to God is within self and to believe that self-sacrifice is the path to God is a nonsense. What a soul who chooses a path of self-sacrifice is effectively saying is that the path to God is to sacrifice God. This statement and therefore this choice does not make any sense.
God continued to expand on the concept of will, "Unless the will and the want are in unison what is wanted cannot be achieved. It does not matter what you do, how hard you work, or what options you attempt, you will not achieve what you want, until want and will work in unison. Anything that is done prior to achieving this unison of will and want is a waste of time, because the result cannot be what is wanted. Apply what I have now told you to all of the times when I told you to do nothing, and you will understand why I told you to do nothing."
I spent a quiet and relaxing afternoon and evening. I had occasional flashes of pressure from my financial difficulties, but the flashes of pressure only lasted a few moments.
I had slept for a short time that afternoon and I had visited the spirit plane. When I returned from the spirit plane my eyes tingled and stung as they once more adjusted to the ever increasing beauty of the world, and the light radiating from within.
That night, I recommenced my review. I noted with interest the increase in the speed of my writing. Putting The Pieces Together was not flowing, it was almost pouring out of me.
Accompanying the outpouring of my awareness was ever expanding heart chakra, all neatly balanced with a few more physical ailments which I required to keep me grounded for a while longer. I was frustrated by my physical ailments and I took medication to relieve them, but the medication had no effect. My physical ailments were not physical, my physical ailments were spiritual.
The same principle applied to my constant difficulty sleeping at night. One night in desperation I took four sleeping tablets, but I was still awake four hours later. My inability to sleep like the physical ailments that I retained was spiritual not physical. I needed to accept would retain both for as long as I needed them.
Once more, my earlier awareness was being placed into the big picture of my journey. A journey which continued within my awareness. As I applied my understanding to my awareness I could see that much of what I had been experiencing since I had begun my journey within my awareness, was a repeat of my journey to my awareness. By re-experiencing from within my awareness I had expanded my awareness through depth.
My aura like my heart chakra continued to expand, and I remained within my difficult environment.
Twice that night I attempted to sleep and each time I was inundated with images from the spirit plane, which on reflection had been occurring for some time, but I had not quite been able to put my finger on what was occurring. It was as though the spirit plane was reaching out to meet me. It was like the spirit plane was coming to me instead of me going to the spirit plane.
The unknown spirit who had been hovering again spoke. This time I heard what she said, "Brian, I cannot quite reach it." That was all that she said and I remained unaware of why the unknown spirit was around me, other than that she was attempting to give me a message.
I did eventually sleep.
The following morning, I was able to see a few aspects of my journey with a little more clarity. The fact that Jane 2 had picked me up in England and followed me across the world demonstrated that when we 'acquire' a spirit, that spirit may choose to stay with us, sometimes for a lifetime and follow us even if we move house or travel.
When I had been ill whilst in Russia, I could have prevented the illness by packing some tablets and I had effectively defied my instinct by not packing them. I could see that I had foreseen that illness on a number of occasions in the months between my trips to Paris and Russia. However, it was only at this point in time, many months later and without any discernible reason that I was able to see the connection.
There had also been a number of times when I'd had major concerns and God had assured me that I had nothing to be concerned about. Each time that God had assured me that I had nothing to be concerned about, God had been correct. In fact, the only times when God had not been correct in respect of events that had occurred or events that will occur had been in respect of timing, which is an issue that has been addressed.
On all other occasions, it had been my interpretation of events which had been faulty. Many times I had seen, I had known, or I had been told about something and I had not quite understood what I had been told. I was not necessarily getting any better at interpreting what would occur, I had simply stopped, for the most part, attempting to interpret what I had foreseen, or what had been foreseen by others.
From the perspective of the big picture, I'd had no concept of my journey and I had not understood the extent of my journey, although there were a number of times when I had believed that I understood the extent of my journey.
Why I was receiving clarity or making points now I did not know, but the process did follow the pattern of Putting The Pieces Together.
The most notable of the changes within me was that of strength. I had always been a strong person, but it was the focus of my strength that had changed so dramatically. I was strong from my own perspective, but I did not attempt to be strong by the standards of others or society.
I was given some more clarification of events that I had foreseen, and events that had subsequently occurred, which had the common theme of my interpretation being incorrect. Nevertheless, the events that had occurred did parallel what I had foreseen would occur, as soon as I removed my interpretation.
I did not know if I was specifically being told something, but if so I knew that the message would be repeated until I received the message.
My friend Jane was on my mind. I was not comfortable that I had been unable to repay her even though I knew that she desperately needed me to repay what she had loaned me.
I recalled another message that I had been given each time I had visited the spirit plane on the previous day; 'My future would be as if I was living in ecstasy.'
Suddenly and unexpectedly I completed my review of Understanding Who I Am, which in some realities is entitled Becoming Who I Am. It was sudden and unexpected because I reached a point where I knew that Understanding Who I Am was finished and what remained of that text belonged within Putting the Pieces Together.
With a little hindsight finishing Understanding Who I Am suddenly was not as surprising as I had first thought. I had known when I was writing Understanding Who I Am that Understanding Who I Am had continued too long. The reality was that I had continued writing Understanding Who I Am, because I wanted to receive my salvation before I completed Understanding Who I Am.
I briefly considered my current position without feeling my ongoing difficulties. Someone, some spirit said, "God has not let you down before."
I found myself recalling the last of my experiences within Connecting With The Higher Plane, which is entitled The Journey Home in some realities. It had seemed that my journey had been over, but all that had occurred was a period of rest and adjustment after I had returned to touch the fabric of existence.
It was a fascinating and conflicting day within the business. Firstly the difficulties with the business' major supplier were highlighted, the reason for which went directly back to one of the two inherent problems that my former business partner had refused to correct for more than two years.
I then spent the afternoon with two suppliers. I reached preliminary agreement on one new product and various degrees of agreement in principle in respect of another six new products, which was an achievement, but I did not feel the achievement. It was just something I did and I had done all of my life. I did not know if I was contributing to my future, my parting gift to the business, or both. I was doing what I was required to do.
Late that afternoon, the difficulties with the business' computer system were highlighted and the reason for this went directly back to the other inherent problem with the business which my former business partner had refused to address for two years.
The business issues were pulling in two directions at once. Highlighting both the inherent problems, and the enormous potential of my former business.
Another conflict that I was experiencing at this time, was whether I would travel to Russia and bring Katerina home, or whether Katerina would travel to Australia by herself. I had been given messages supporting either option, and I did not know what would occur, which meant that I was not meant to know what would occur.
The following morning, I recalled that Sue had told me, two months before Jesus had confirmed Sue's guidance, that I would write books on behalf of the masters. When Sue had told me that I would write books on behalf of the masters I had known that there were some components of messages from masters contained within the record of my journey. What I did not realise was that some of my previous discussions with masters would be the beginning of what I would write for the masters.
On reflection I saw that I had retained the correct balance of pressure for as long as I needed to feel the pressure. As soon as I no longer needed the pressure, I had allowed myself to become aware of Jane 2's presence and the 'mix' had been adjusted just enough to remove the pressure.
Although most of my difficulties remained I did not feel the pressure. By effectively removing the 'block' which had been Jane 2, I had allowed myself to increase my awareness. It has only been three weeks since Jane 2 finally moved on.
I recalled my visit to the spirit plane the previous night. The unknown spirit who had been hovering around me showed herself for the first time, but I still did not know why she was with me.
Shortly after I wrote the preceding paragraph I heard footsteps behind me, but there was no one, at least no physical soul there. I then felt the unknown spirit brush against me as she again entered my space.
I reflected on the notes from the most difficult phase of my journey, that I was reviewing. Until I reviewed the notes, I had felt that the notes were much more negative than the notes were. In hindsight, I could see how I had maintained my positive spirituality throughout a very difficult physical environment.
Notwithstanding Jane 2's presence, I could see how in addition to the questions I'd repeatedly asked I had also been desperately searching for some action to take, despite repeatedly being told to do nothing. I recalled that Sue had warned me about what I would experience, but I also knew that Sue passed on what she received, and often Sue did not know the precise meaning of the message which she was delivering. Sue passed on exactly what she was given to pass on and if Sue did not know the precise meaning of the message which she was delivering, it was because Sue was not meant to know the precise meaning of the message which she was delivering. Jane 2's presence had been blocked from Sue as well, so I was obviously meant to experience what I experienced. I also knew that my consultations with Sue were not solely for my benefit.
In hindsight, I could see that I had withheld much of what I could do for the business, because I was concerned that I was being disloyal if my former business partner allowed me to run the business, and after what could be seen as 'getting my own way', I then left the business. However, by allowing the business to be restructured based on my guidance, and even driven by myself for a time was what would allow me to save the business. If I then left the business, it would be after I had done what was needed, whether I disappointed my former business partner or not.
All that I could do was stop holding myself back and flow with what was occurring, regardless of whether the business was my future, a part of my future, or not in my future. What developed after I allowed myself to flow would be far greater than I conceived.
The day within the business went exceptionally easy and well. Many of my suggestions were implemented. I could see that I was being drawn into the business, and I did not quite know what to make of what was occurring.
The only observation which I could make was that I found every decision I made, every change I implemented and every problem I solved remarkably easy. However, I retained my reluctance to fully immerse myself into the business which could be because I was 'gun shy' as a result of the stress which I'd had imposed on me when I had attempted to embrace the business previously.
I did not believe that I could follow two paths at one time, and I accepted that I could be experiencing that I could in fact follow two paths for a little time. However, immersing myself in the business would not immediately resolve my financial difficulties, and I had already run out of excuses with my creditors.
Nor would immersing myself in the business allow Katerina to come to Australia. I was far from comfortable with having to stall Katerina. I wanted very much to explain everything to Katerina, but her English was simply not good enough.
I had endured a severe headache all of the day which had not affected the ease with which I had cruised through my business day. It was an allergy based sinus headache which I had not been able to shift for days. I knew that my headache was not 'real' because I could not remove my headache, but I did not know why I had my headache.
That afternoon the unknown spirit was hovering around me again, but I still had no idea of why she was with me.
In the evening, my nerves started to become on edge, which was always an experience that I did not enjoy despite knowing that my nerves being on edge was a positive reaction to my increasing awareness.
Late in the night, I had a couple of brief flashes of difficulties, but they were no more that that. I did wonder when my difficulties would end, but only because I was tired. My journey had required a lot of strength.
I reflected on my environment. I was observing my environment rather than feeling my environment, despite my ongoing difficulties. my environment 'felt' real. The artificial quality in respect of my environment that I had felt for a long period had disappeared when Jane 2 had left.
The next morning, I found myself reflecting on what had occurred since Jane 2's departure. Katerina had obtained her visa, and I had obtained a new car. After these two events the impression I had, was that everything had again stopped, but the reality was that everything had not stopped.
From a spiritual perspective, I was flowing through my review, consistently and easily, after struggling to review even a page for weeks. My awareness was also continuing to increase at a very fast pace.
From an earth plane perspective, I was suddenly running the business again and negotiating many new contracts with ease, which was occurring, despite my efforts to avoid taking a more active role within the organisation, and it was occurring suddenly after I had been unable to do any more than maintain my job during the previous two years. I may not have wanted the business to be a part of the solution to my difficulties, but it certainly appeared that the business would be a part of the solution to my difficulties.
The issues which had not been addressed at this point were my significant debt, a home for myself and Katerina, the means to complete the significant amount of work that I needed to do in respect of existing and forthcoming books, and my inability to bring Katerina to Australia.
Each of these issues required a financial solution, although it could be that I was required to complete my writing whilst running the business, which was possible. However, completing my writing whilst running the business would be difficult especially when Katerina entered the equation. The reality is that I am not as drained as I have been by my journey, and I have stepped up both my involvement with the business and my spiritual 'work', but the combination of the business and my spiritual 'work' left almost no time for myself.
| At this time, which was a smooth variant on
what had been occurring for the previous two years, I would rise early
and attend to my spiritual 'work' for a few hours before spending the
majority of the day running the business. I would then meditate and rest
for a few hours, before recommencing my spiritual work again, after which,
I would usually meditate, and do a little more spiritual work before travelling
to the spirit plane.
Following a minimal amount of sleep the cycle would start again. I had no difficulty with any of this, and since the departure of Jane 2, and the tiredness which was now lifting as my aura was 'freed', I had handled all that was occurring with ease.
However, the current pattern of my life left little time for me, which did not concern me in itself, but the current pattern of my meant that if the pattern continued I would have little time for Katerina. Nor did the current pattern of my allow me any time to walk or otherwise address the difficulties with my weight etc. The twin factors of a tightly packed and aura and Jane 2 which had prevented me from attending to the difficulties with my weight earlier were now gone, but the time I had anticipated I would have for myself had been absorbed between the business and my increasing spiritual work load.
I stood on the spirit plane looking at my own image. The scum which had encased my aura had randomly disappeared, although the scum which had encased my aura had not disappeared completely. Where the scum which had encased my aura had disappeared the golden light of my aura radiated from me to such an extent that the distance my aura extended was beyond my vision.
I had spoken with Katerina the previous night. Katerina had again sought funds to come to Australia. We had not seen each other physically for more than six months, and we both wanted her to come to Australia. However, I felt no pressure and Katerina was very supportive. During our discussions I was again given a date for Katerina, but I fought very hard not to suggest the date to Katerina. As with embracing the business I was 'gun shy' in respect of dates.
In the end, I gave Katerina a vague, approximate timing based on the date which I had been given, not because Katerina insisted, but because I could not prevent myself from giving Katerina a date, despite my efforts to avoid giving Katerina a date.
There were many aspects of the picture which was forming around me that I did not understand, there were many pieces of the picture which was forming around me that did not seem to fit, and if the pieces did fit I did not know where. However, what I could see that morning and what I knew was happening, was that I was constructing a gateway to my new world.
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