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Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny

Putting The Pieces Together


I commenced sifting the pieces in my mind. I would pick up a piece and see where the piece led. This was not a new experience for me, but I was far more aware of what was happening, than I had been when I had experienced sifting the pieces in my mind previously.

I left the selection of pieces to my subconscious. A piece would appear subconsciously, and then I would allow the piece to develop subconsciously with no preconceived idea of where the piece would lead.

As I was slowly gathering the pieces, I could see that it did not really matter what the outcome was. It was apparent that everything would be as everything was meant to be.

I did have some unexpected scenarios of what may occur placed in my head, and when I attempted to discount the unexpected scenarios, I was given two memories from this lifetime which supported the unexpected scenarios. However, I did not feel that the unexpected scenarios would play out, but I considered what I would do if unexpected scenarios did become reality. My conclusion was that whenever I was faced with a conflicting scenario, I would ring Sally who's guidance was uncanny. Sally often provided answers, without being given the question.

I realised that even at this point I did not expect to reach all of the answers, but I did know to allow my instinct guide me to the answers that I needed.


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I moved house. Overall my relocation went smoothly, but of course there were a few hiccups. I was very tired. I needed to begin unpacking, but I did not know where to begin.

Spiritually, it was another quiet day. Images were 'falling' into my head, and I was being given some pieces of the puzzle, which I was slowly putting together.

The following day proved to be a little unusual to say the least.

At the beginning of the day, I felt lost. There were so many annoying little things occurring that I did not know where I was, or what I was supposed to do next. Mostly I received bad news or no news. I was, I suppose numb.

I realised the amount of travelling which I would need to do, to attend the office each day, and I wondered why I would once again need to experience travelling to my place of business.

In the office, the business' problems continued. Each time that I felt that I had found a solution to the business' problems, I had not. I needed to rest, but I had too much to do before I could rest. Nevertheless, I could not motivate myself to do any of what I needed to do.

I knew that everything was exactly as everything was meant to be, and I knew that I was experiencing something, but I did not know what I was experiencing.


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I was drawn to suggest lunch to my business partner. I did not particularly want to have lunch with my business partner, but I was pushed to suggest lunch with my business partner. Lunch with my business partner was agreed for the next day.

There was much which I did not understand. Pieces of the puzzle were entering my head from every direction, and it was all I could do to understand each piece let alone put the pieces together.

Everywhere that I turned I had something to do, and yet more than anything I needed rest. I did not understand why everything was as everything was. Nancy had a message for me. There was so much in my head that it was not surprising that my head was spinning.

I spoke with a friend who had a message about my upcoming trip and the difficulties which I was experiencing; 'do not expect it to be easy'. Later, I had a coffee with Joe who commented on how down I was. Joe also had a message.

By early afternoon, I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but at that point I could not sleep. I was not sure what to do next. I considered the possibility of seeking guidance. However, later that afternoon, everything took a turn of going well for a while.

I continued to be given flashes, or pieces of the puzzle. I did not understand how some of the pieces fitted, or why the pieces were there.


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The previous night, I had felt a spirit around my new home. Unreasonably, the spirit had made me a little apprehensive, and I managed to convince myself that the spirit was only my imagination.

That night when I arrived home, I was sure that there was a spirit with me. There was a spirit around my new home, which was in all likelihood the reason why it was that specific house which I had been drawn to make my home.

I found it fascinating that I needed to put the pieces together by myself, at my conscious self level.

I felt the spirit's presence very strong that night. I could not quite communicate with the spirit. I knew that the spirit was female, and I could almost receive her name, but not quite. The spirit's name was something like Natasha.

Anne rang. Anne had followed my guidance, and Anne was now at ease with her decision. Everything seemed to be falling into place for Anne.

I spoke with Katerina for a long time that night. We enjoyed an easy conversation, and we communicated well. Many pieces which had been 'floating around' suddenly fell into place. Pieces which that I had not understood, now fitted together.

I only had a few hours sleep. Every time that I attempted to sleep, something would happen to prevent sleep. I suspected that something was going to happen that night.


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I very strongly felt Natasha's presence again. Natasha said, "I will be with you for a time, have no fear. I wish to understand your work."

As I worked into the early hours of the morning I saw Natasha watching me. Natasha had fine shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes. Natasha was in her mid-twenties from what I could tell. Natasha said, "We were together once, many lifetimes ago. You were very kind to me, when so many were cruel. I have come to see how you are dealing with what is occurring. I come because I care. I love you still."

I remembered.

It was in Hungary, I could not see when. It was a very long time ago. Natasha was homeless. Natasha begged in the streets, and had been raped on many occasions. I had taken Natasha into my home, but my actions had not been selfless. Natasha was very attractive, even in need of a bath and some grooming, and I had also taken her into my bed.

Natasha said, "I had no objection. I would have died on those streets. You gave me warmth and shelter and showed me love. You took me in and loved me, when I had given up. With you I felt safe, and I was clean for the first time in my life. I am sorry I could bear you no children."

I asked, "How are you now?"

Natasha replied, "I am between lifetimes now, and I wanted to see you. I wanted to witness where your kindness had led you. People could not believe that a man of your standing had taken me in off the street. Some of your friends shunned you. I tried to leave, but you would not let me leave. You made me feel special, loved and wanted. I had not experienced feeling anything but worthless in that lifetime before. You showed me much, but mostly you showed me a love which I have not forgotten."


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Natasha was wearing a very simple smock made of rough cloth, bleached white. Natasha was wearing no shoes and nothing underneath the cloth which was obvious because of the loose weave. Natasha said, "I appear as you knew me, so you would recognise me. This is how I most recently appeared." Suddenly Natasha became an old woman of Mediterranean extraction. Natasha was in her 60's and looked tired and drawn.

I found myself reflecting on the time when I first met with the masters. I wondered why I had to put the pieces together myself. Natasha explained, "You have chosen to experience putting the pieces together from the perspective of the earth plane, which is necessary for the example that you have become."

Natasha continued, "I died in that hospital two streets from your home, so it was easy for me to find you."

The following day got off to a good start, but by late morning a number of little things were occurring other than what I had preferred, which I knew meant nothing. I had experienced this pattern often of late, and I knew that everything would suddenly start to go well.

Katerina was in Moscow. Katerina continued to have difficulties arranging her visa. I spoke with Katerina three times that day. For the most part, it was easy to talk with Katerina, and our language difficulties did not get in the way.


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As the day continued, the pattern which was my life at that time continued. Some things fell into place, mostly the important things. My problems with the bank, which I had endured for six months, were now resolved permanently.

I had a long meeting with my business partner. Nothing had changed within the business, and it appeared that nothing would change within the business. My business partner could not make the hard decisions. I discussed many things about myself, from an the earth plane perspective only. I asked for some time off, and surprisingly my business partner agreed in principle.

I found my business partner's agreement in principle staggering, but my business partner's agreement did not really surprise me. I considered how everything was coming together from within my old world, to bring my new world into reality. I saw with increasing clarity that the principles that I was experiencing were a part of the example which I had chosen to become.

It was apparent that the only reason that I continued to suffer from the virus was to make me rest.

The following morning, my business partner was to confirm that I could have the time off work, which meant that I would be paid whilst I was away. Receiving my salary allowed me to be provided for.

As I reflected on how the pieces were falling into place, it was apparent that I had been given options so that I would not head down one track, and attempt to force the issue. The pattern continued, some things came together, some things did not come together.


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It appeared that I needed to experience everything coming together, from the perspective of the earth plane, which was at a conscious level. Given my increased awareness I found experiencing at a conscious level very difficult to deal with at times, and I felt that I needed guidance. In many ways I was unsure of myself. Much of what I needed to do seemed difficult, but everything appeared to come together at the last minute. The person who was my pillar of strength, during this time was Nancy.

That evening, I called in to see Jane. Jane asked for a 'reading' and I reluctantly agreed. Whilst Jane was getting her cards, God said, "You do not need cards."

I told Jane to ask what she wanted to know, and I gave Jane the answers which I received. The answers which I received were very clear.

That night I understood that one of the reasons my strength had been drained by my influenza, was to prevent me from increasing my vibrational rate and entering the spirit plane. It was apparent that I needed to experience putting the pieces together from the earth plane perspective. Sometimes the task seemed so difficult, that I felt like giving up, but I knew that I would not give up.

It was only six days before I was to leave for Europe. Katerina had been unable to gain her English visa at this point, so I could not finalise my arrangements. It appeared that Katerina's Australian visa was also going to be difficult.

I could see the pattern of how each time one problem solved itself, another problem arose. I reflected that the pattern was obviously a part of the experience, and a part of the process of putting the pieces together.


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The following morning, I again felt that there was something which I needed to know, but I could not quite reach. I knew that everything would work out, and I knew that I had nothing to worry about, but I would have liked to have all of the documentation sorted out so that my mind was at ease. I guessed that there was only one major difficulty, I needed to be flexible.

It was to be a matter of getting my priorities right. If I needed to stay away a little longer, it did not really matter. I was making it matter by being rigid in my plans, firstly because of my boys, and secondly because of my business.

I knew that if there was a reason why Katerina and I were not meant to be together, we would not be together. If we were meant to be together, nothing would keep us apart, and if we were not meant to be together, nothing would bring us together.

I questioned why I always needed to do things the hard way. Of all the places in the world where my soulmate could be, Katerina happened to be in one of the most difficult places in the world to organise anything.

I needed to keep reminding myself that everything was as everything was meant to be, and if there were difficulties or delays, there was a reason for the difficulties or delays. There was no doubt that everything was coming together. What was happening, was that I was being given some wrong pieces, and I was trying to make the wrong pieces fit. I was also trying to put some pieces into the picture, in the wrong place.

I knew that sorting through wrong pieces was a part of the process. I knew that I needed to allow events to occur, and I needed to stop pushing events, or attempting to push events.


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I had initially heeded Sally's advice to be flexible, but I had become rigid again. I needed to be flexible, and I needed to allow myself to remain flexible. I could see what I needed to do clearly, which did not mean that I could do what I needed to do.

The day continued to follow the now familiar pattern. Some things fell into place, some things did not fall into place. I finalised the arrangements for my trip.

During the day I was given some new pieces, and some pieces of the puzzle which I had discarded started to resurface, which again caused me some confusion.

That night, I finally understood how certain pieces fitted, and why I could not make some events happen the way in which I wanted to, no matter how much I tried. I finally understood that if the events had occurred as I had wanted, everything would not be in my best interest.

I still found the environment which I had created fascinating. I again experienced how I had worried that something which I had wanted did not occur, when it turned out to be for the best that, what I had wanted did not occur.

Whenever I struggled, I would receive guidance from a variety of sources, but mostly from Nancy or Sally.

The following day saw many pieces fall into place. Suddenly, some pieces which I had been given nearly ten months earlier fell into place when I least expected them to fall into place. They were pieces which I had discarded, and I had assumed that the pieces were only designed to push me in the right direction. My journey had reached a point where I had found it extremely amusing to watch everything fall into place.


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The next day started quietly. I did a little work. I was not quite relaxed, but I was able to put a few more pieces together.

God said, "Do you now understand that receiving the rewards of the earth plane, and being provided with the resources to do my work, are not the same thing?

"The rewards of the earth plane must be experienced from the earth plane perspective, and should not be confused with being provided with the resources to do the work you are destined to do. If receiving the rewards of the earth plane, and being provided with the resources to do the work you are destined to do were confused, the confusion would distort your example.

"You have been experiencing that receiving the rewards of the earth plane, and being provided with the resources to do the work you are destined to do are different. You are experiencing the rewards of the earth plane now. You are experiencing how you create your new environment, from within your old environment, and how everything which is needed is provided.

"At a point in the future you will receive the resources to complete your work, but receiving the rewards of the earth plane, and being provided with the resources to do the work you are destined to do, are not the same event, as you have believed.

"Even now you see how your life will come together. How you will be fulfilled and worry free on the earth plane, by creating a new environment from within your old environment. You are now seeing how many seemingly unrelated pieces are fitting together, to create your new environment."


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I reflected that a few days earlier, Katerina had told me that she had a strong knowledge of traditional medicine, which completed another piece of the puzzle and confirmed what Sue had said about Katerina being a healer. I understood that another reason why I had become ill, was to create an opportunity for me to receive the knowledge that Katerina was a traditional healer.

God said, "Your partners have allowed you to remain within the business, because your partner's souls know that it is through you, that they can change their circumstances. Your partners must choose to change their circumstances, and your partners are being given the opportunity to make this choice. Do not concern yourself with the choice that will be made. Your partner's choice has been foreseen, as has their desire to retain your services."

The following morning, I reflected on one of my conversations with Sally. I had wondered why certain things had happened the way in which they had happened. Sally had said, "Do not worry about why, just be thankful for what has happened."

I reflected that I was still not comfortable with seeing future events for others. I knew that I could only pass on what I saw, but I was not comfortable with the responsibility of being given information to pass to others.


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God said, "Your role is simply to pass on what you receive. Do not be concerned. Do not interpret what you receive, or attempt to interpret what you receive. Simply pass on what you are given, and be comfortable with your role."

The next two days continued to follow the same pattern. I was slowly putting everything together. The scenario of pieces which I was attempting to discard being thrown back at me, also continued. It seemed apparent that I was not meant to have clear direction, but I was meant to be flexible and allow for all possibilities.

One thing which I knew for sure was that I was very confused. I was confused by having two future directions from the earth plane perspective thrown at me constantly and alternatively. I was confused because I had heard nothing for more than two months from my agent in respect of my first book. I was confused because someone or other was throwing Marie at me almost daily, and I did not know why.

Nancy in particular was a tremendous support. Rose had once again left my life. Sally had transferred in her job and was difficult to contact. Anne and I were unable to meet no matter how often we attempted to organise a meeting. Joe and Jane were supportive, but I could not contact people such as Graham and Christine. It was a confusing time for me.

I attempted to review my notes, to find some answers. Occasionally I became stuck on a point within my notes, which I knew applied to my current situation, but I could not quite place. There was one piece of advice which God had given me that did appear to be appropriate. "When you doubt, draw on your own experience and ask me for guidance."


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I relaxed and I meditated. Jesus appeared before me. I asked Jesus what was happening.

Jesus said, "You have chosen to experience alone."

I asked, "Why?"

Jesus responded, "Because you know that what you are experiencing is best experienced alone."

The following morning, I knew that I was still attempting to analyse what was to happen. I also knew that if I did analyse what was to happen, my analysis would be wrong, and I would attempt to head in the wrong direction. I understood that continually having pieces which I had discarded re-presented to me, was preventing me from attempting an analysis.

I knew that I was experiencing from the earth plane perspective by choice, and that I could choose to seek guidance from the masters or others at a spiritual level, or from God at the higher level, if I became lost.

I was not sure why I had chosen to experience from the earth plane perspective at this time, but I did know that what I was experiencing was not about me. What I was experiencing was specifically a part of my example.


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My cousin, Carlos' life had turned another circle, and Carlos' long-term partner had severed their relationship. I knew that it was not a coincidence that Carlos had been experiencing difficulties during my previous visit to England, and that Carlos was experiencing difficulties now, when I would return to England within a few days.

That morning, I could feel myself surrounded by spirits. I had known I was surrounded by spirits, and I had experienced what I felt that morning many times, but I had not associated the two events, and recognised the feeling for what it was. I was feeling a closeness to the spirits.

I found myself reflecting on the spiritual experiences which I'd had across a wide range of beliefs, throughout my existence. I saw how my existence had been preparation for my task, which required me to put all the pieces of truth back together. This realisation in itself was very much a key piece of my personal puzzle.

During the previous few weeks, I had been so busy attempting to balance moving house, arranging my trip to Europe, working in the business, and my spiritual tasks that I had not taken much time to meditate, which was an interesting experience in itself. I now understood that no matter what is occurring, we must maintain our quiet time, our meditation. On the few occasions when I had been able to meditate, I had quickly returned to being in tune with my spiritual plane.

I looked out of my kitchen window. Without thinking I said, "God, it is a beautiful day."

God said, "Thanks for the scoop. Did you think that I did not know?"


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I continued to reflect that morning, and I saw that I was viewing my circumstances negatively. I was focused on that which I would have preferred to be different.

Now that it was time to meet with my soulmate, money had been provided to allow me to travel across the world and meet my soulmate. I had been given time off work with pay, so I certainly had unexpected resources. In the circumstances there was no doubt that I was being provided for. I had been given an employment option so I would continue to be provided for, until it was time to do the work which I was destined to do, full time. Much of what had occurred had been totally unexpected, and everything had come together at the last minute. Now that I had made some time to meditate, I understood what had occurred, I saw how the pieces had fitted together, and I was thankful.

I knew that I needed to put all the pieces which were available at this point together. There remained a few pieces sitting aside while I waited for some adjoining pieces to be provided, which would take some time. I suspected that the adjoining pieces would not be provided, until I returned home in one month. However, I knew that anything may occur, and that I needed to remain open to all possibilities.

As the day progressed, a few things occurred to test my patience. I attempted to relax, and to flow with events. One thing in particular could have caused me major problems, but as the event played out, it allowed a few more minor pieces of the puzzle to fall into place, and I was better served by the end result.

Early that evening my whole body was tingling. I recalled something which I had read in my notes a few days earlier about preparing for my soulmate.


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Despite everything that was occurring, and despite that I was nearing the end of my journey, I was numb. One more time I began to wonder if all that had happened to me, could have possibly happened to me. Evelyn was very close to me, and peering over my shoulder.

Sally rang to wish me well on my trip, and not surprisingly Sally had some advice. "Do not worry, everything will be all right. You have the job options so you will not worry. Do not analyse too much, just relax and enjoy."

I continued reviewing my notes. The man I had given my ideas to, two months earlier had now joined the business.


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