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Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny

Q & A I.

  "I am still using my imagination to look outward, in respect of ways that all will come together."

"Yes, that is precisely what you are doing. Let go of your imagination, all that your imagination can do is create more illusions. You need no more illusions, you only need to experience reality."

"But will the remainder of my lifetime not be an illusion?"

"Yes, the final illusion, but the remainder of your lifetime will not be an illusion, because you will see through the illusion. You have seen through the illusion."

"So I have created an illusion, which I already see through, so that I can experience. Why would I bother?"

"You need to experience existing within an illusion when you know that the illusion is an illusion. If you see that everything around you is an illusion, an experience, your environment cannot touch you. All negative situations cannot touch you. It is not a matter of suffering in silence. It is a matter of not suffering at all. If something happens, it is only your judgement of what has happened which causes you to suffer. Do not judge what occurs, and you will not suffer. Suffering is necessary because you must experience suffering in every shape and form, as you need to experience everything. You have certainly experienced suffering, created in illusion granted, but real enough to you. It is now time for you to experience not suffering. Events which you do not like may still occur, but you will not suffer. You have already achieved not suffering in many situations, but you need to achieve not suffering in all situations."

"If suffering is not real, why does suffering seem real?"

"If the illusion did not seem real, there would be no point in creating the illusion. You create the illusion for experience so the illusion seems real."


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"Again, I must ask why bother with the rest of my life?"

"Because love is real, and you will experience real love. Not the love of experience, be it a positive or negative experience, but pure love born from the higher plane."

"If we are talking about pure love, why do we need to experience pure love physically?"

"To experience pure love. Remember, the earth plane is created for the purpose of experience. If you do not experience pure love, then how can you become pure love? You must experience pure love at the conclusion of your experiences, because once you have experienced pure love, you will desire to experience no other thing."

"What do I need to do now?"

"Accept everything as everything is, and allow everything to be as everything is."

"So what I need to do, is accept everything as everything is in each moment, and experience each moment. If I accept everything as everything is in each moment and experience each moment, I will move on to the next experience. If I worry or concern myself with the next experience, or about when the next experience will occur, I am disrupting the experience of each moment, and I am not experiencing accepting everything exactly as everything is."

"Yes, that is correct."


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"I know from experience that it is not possible. No, all things are possible, that it is unlikely that souls will become aware instantly, souls must experience becoming aware. I know that souls cannot become aware, until they have experienced all things, so if I tell others what I have experienced, how will that help others?"

"This incarnation of the world has existed for a long time now, by your earth plane standards. Many have experienced nearly all things, and are nearly ready to become aware. This is why many are searching for the truth. Understand that experience is not awareness. What you have done in this lifetime, you could have done when you were the Native American boy, but you chose not to become aware. Your's was a conscious decision. This is the lifetime in which you chose to become aware. Others will choose to accept a key which will start them on a path to awareness, and the timing of their choices is known. It was therefore opportune that you provided the key. All things are known, because all things are foreseen. That you would choose to provide the key, and that others would choose to find the key is/was known. It is opportune, and convenient that you provide the key, as it was known that you would provide the key, and it is opportune, and convenient that others find the key, as it was known that others would find the key."

"Why was I given that date, nearly twelve months ago, and why did Katerina suggest that date now? Am I meant to learn that the date means nothing, and that time has no meaning?"

"No. You have already experienced that time has no meaning. You have also experienced that all know the choices which they will make, although known choices are still choices, which is how 'fortune telling' works. You will now experience that you consciously know your choices, and that you are consciously aware of making those choices, and consciously aware of the result of your choices. If you are to experience being consciously aware of making your choices, your choices must become your reality. You have already experienced being unconsciously aware of what is to be experienced. You have experienced being totally unaware of what is to be experienced. So what is left for you to experience is being consciously aware of what is to be experienced."

"If the earth plane is an illusion, and I cannot cause harm, why did I not walk away my responsibilities?"

"Haven't you experienced walking away from your responsibilities enough during your existence? You have also experienced living up to your responsibilities during your existence. This time you were the example. This time you needed to become aware within your responsibilities. If you had said; 'life is all an illusion, life does not matter, turn your back on your responsibilities and go sit on a rock until remember all things, and remember that you are God', who on the earth plane would have, could have listened?"


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"I will concede that point, but why not just go off and gain enlightenment. Why create the environment at all?"

"You are correct. You could have chosen to create an environment with no responsibilities, with no earth plane ties or challenges which you know are illusions, but were real to you at the time. You chose to create the environment, because you chose to provide the key, and the key needed to be provided from within. The example needed to come from within. So you chose an average life."

"What about those around me?"

"The choices which those around you will be faced with, and the choices which those around you would and will make, is what chose those around you. It was convenient because of what you would face, and because of what they would face, to bring you together."

"So it is nothing more than convenience?"

"It is convenient, but you are also bonded to those around you, so your feeling for those around you is strong. You are bonded to those around you, because they are the souls with whom you are directly attached in your link to all souls."

"So it is convenient that I happen to be bonded with these souls?"

"You do not happen to be bonded to anyone. You imply that your bond to your soul group was an accident. Your bond to your soul group is design, not because I have said you will do this, and he will do that. Your bond to your soul group is design, because I knew what you would do, and I knew what each of your bonded souls would do, so I knew that there would be times when the experiences which you each sought coincided, and it was logical to allow those experiences to happen together."


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"I have heard it said that the masters plan lifetimes before they start."

"The masters are part of the One. The One knows the choices which all will make, the decisions which all will face, and experiences that all will have in any given lifetime. They are not the choices or design of the One. They are the choices and the design of the individual. It is because the One knows what choices all will make, that the one can advise, if you like, where it is best to create the opportunity to gain the experiences which are sought."

"If I know what I need to experience, and I know what I have experienced, why have I needed to experience the same thing lifetime after lifetime? Why do I and others become 'stuck' on a point?"

"You must consciously choose to move on. You must consciously decide to make a different choice. You may draw on your experience which you see as your subconscious, you may draw on your knowledge which may manifest itself as your instinct, regardless of whether you are aware of drawing on your experience and knowledge or not. However you must make a conscious decision to move on, or you will not move on. It is the conscious decision, which is the choice."

"Even though I knew that I did not need to experience something again, and even though I had my previous experience to draw on, I chose to repeat my circumstances. Why was this?"

"You have missed the point. You had not applied your experience to your knowledge, and become aware of the true purpose of the experience, or the lesson if you prefer."

"I thought that awareness came later."

"No. Awareness is acquired each time that you apply experience to knowledge. It is awareness of awareness, which comes later."


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"Awareness of awareness?"

"Yes, awareness of awareness follows the same principle as awareness. You apply your experience of awareness, to your knowledge of awareness, to become aware of your awareness."

"And becoming aware of awareness is a conscious decision?"

"Yes. Do you recall that you have made conscious decisions every step of the way. When what you saw as your world fell apart, you asked; 'why'. Do you remember? Understand that you created a world which would fall apart so you would, as a result, ask why. Throughout your 'process' you drew on your experience, you drew on your knowledge, and you made conscious decisions to take the next step. You have followed this process each step of the way."

"Why am I now tired?"

"You have remained in phase to facilitate the question and answer process for hours. Maintaining your vibrational rate tires you."

"Why don't I just say; 'okay that is enough I have been a good enough example. I have done all these things, let's get it over with and ascend?'"

"You need to experience some more things. Such as being consciously aware of what will happen, and what you have created. You need to experience consciously seeing your environment be created around you. You need to consciously experience rejoining with your soulmate, and you need to consciously experience the feeling of completion, not just the taste of this experience which you have experienced."


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"Was finding my soulmate a conscious decision too?"

"Yes it was. You knew that you needed to find your soulmate in this lifetime, and you made a conscious decision to find your soulmate. Through convenient means you were able to find your soulmate, if you chose. You were able to recognise your soulmate, if you chose. You are able to connect with your soulmate, because you chose. Each step needed to be your conscious choice. As such, finding your soulmate needed to be in circumstances where you needed to choose. You needed to choose to take a risk, to experience recognising your soulmate, and to experience knowing who your soulmate was, without meeting your soulmate. Did you expect that I would send your soulmate to knock on your door, and introduce herself?"

"Why would I not just meet my soulmate, become complete, and then we ascend as one?"

"You are an example to be followed. You will experience a joy filled existence, with happiness and rewards on the earth plane. You know that rewards on the earth plane are unnecessary, as do all at a certain level of awareness, but your work is aimed at those on the earth plane, who maintain a perspective of the earth plane. So your benefits, illusions though they may be, must be tangible from the perspective of the earth plane. Those who will find their keys in your work, have no other frame of reference. Those who will find their keys in your work will see that by looking for and finding truth, you have also found what could be termed as 'heaven on earth'. 'Heaven on earth' is what you will experience, and 'heaven on earth' is what they will see."

"Won't I know that my 'heaven on earth' is not real?"

"Yes, at the highest level you will, but the experience will be real. You are still bound to the earth plane, and you can decide to make any illusion real. The difference is your decision to experience 'heaven on earth' will be a conscious decision. How will those who are looking know that you, or they can create 'heaven on earth', if they do not see your example?"


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"I have a meeting soon which I arranged yesterday and now, because of my questions, I am struggling to attend the meeting on time. Why?"

"To give yourself a subtle reminder. If the meeting is to happen, the meeting will happen, so you have no need to worry. Also, because you have planned a meeting, does not mean that the meeting will take place, you could simply be experiencing that not all that is planned occurs."

"Will the meeting occur?"

"You know that it does not matter if the meeting occurs, and you also know the answer to that question."

"Why do I still smoke? Isn't smoking unhealthy, won't smoking cause my body to develop disease?"

"You smoke because you enjoy smoking. Whether smoking causes your body disease is your choice, but this is of no consequence. The body is unimportant. Those who worship the body as a temple, worship the body as a temple to experience worshiping the body as a temple, but as I have explained previously, worshiping the body as a temple is like having concern for a container, and no concern for its contents."


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"We experience a situation over and over, until we become aware of what we are experiencing, and why?"

"Effectively, yes."

"But even after I become aware of what and why I have experienced, I experience the situation again?"

"Yes, you need to experience applying your experience to your knowledge. True awareness is in the application."

"Sometimes I re-experience the situation more than once."

"Yes, experience is two sided, and many faceted. You must experience applying, and not applying awareness to each facet of the experience."

"And through this process I experience all?"

"Yes. You must experience all. You must eliminate all other choices, by experiencing all other choices, and being left with the choice to become one with yourself, one with God."


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"It seems that the order in which we experience is random."

"If you mean that there is no pre-determined order in which experiences must occur, you are correct. However, experiences occur in the order in which each chooses, for their experiences to occur."


"Because that is their choice."

"That simple?"

"That simple."


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