TK Logo

  Click for site map
Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny



"Why did I become out of phase?"

"You were pushed out of phase. What you needed to experience, you needed to fully experience, and to fully experience you needed to be out of phase."

"Had I lost sight of the promise?"

"You never really had sight of the promise. You knew that the promise was the reverse of what you believed, but you had not experienced the promise. We created an experience to assist you, to become more aware of the meaning of my promise. You were putting too much pressure on yourself. You were attempting to live up to a promise which I made to you."

"I guess I was."

"You were. I promised that you would not experience a list of negative experiences, and basically you do not experience anything on the list of negative experiences, as I have promised. However, you have attempted to not experience, what I have promised that you will not experience. You need to allow my promise to be. You cannot force my promise, or make my promise be. Your circumstances are, as your circumstances are, but you attempted to force your circumstances to be as you wanted, when I had led you to your circumstances, to gain the experience that you need. You can only create environments, and allow yourself to experience."


Rainbow bar


"I need some help with the conclusions which I reached when I was out of phase."

"Your concern is whether the conclusions which you reached are genuine. I have told you that it is all right to want things, that the road to God is not wanting nothing, the road to God is wanting for nothing."

"Yes but …"

"You know that nothing, no possessions, no person is more important than the truth. When you say that you want to have your difficulties resolved, but not for yourself, you are correct. You are genuine. You cannot hide the truth from me, but you can hide the truth from yourself if you so choose."

"So, my concerns are for others?"

"Yes. Your only concerns are for others, specifically and in general. Have no fear. I would not ask you to harm others, or cause harm to others. Your pure love for all things precludes you from wishing harm to any and all. You are however, unable to prevent others from causing harm to themselves, if harm is what they have chosen to experience. You know this. If you have a role in the experience of others, I will tell you and direct your actions. You know this as well. If I did not direct your actions, you would not be able to cause harm."

"I understand, but I …"

"No, you did no harm. Harm was done by putting two and two together and coming up with five, because five was wanted. Five was needed, five fed self anger."


Rainbow bar


"So I have no reason to be concerned …"

"You know that you do not have any reason to be concerned. You know that all will be well. You have created your new environment. You have seen what is to be, all of your life. If we take the house where you will live and work, a house of great peace for you. Have you not long seen that house? Did you not feel at home, without reason that you were aware of, when you first visited the area? You know that you have not existed in that place in any previous lifetime. If you can think of another reason why you feel at home in that area, please tell us both."

"I felt something similar in England."

"You felt peace through familiarity in England. In this place that is to be, you feel peace through peace."

"Yes, I feel the difference, but wanting …"

"There is wanting and there is wanting. You desire to experience the joys of the earth plane. You have chosen to experience the joys of the earth plane. It is the ideal which all seek, but seek whilst looking for artificial fulfilment. You seek fulfilment, you seek completion, and you seek joy. You shall have completion, fulfilment and joy, because you have created completion, fulfilment and joy. You are releasing the old, and you are taking the new by the hand. You accept that whatever happens, is 'meant to be'. Acceptance is important, but you think that you are supposed to like every experience. I never said that you are supposed to like every experience, I said experience and feel. If you do not feel unhappiness, if you do not feel disappointment, how can you feel happiness and joy? How can you truly experience happiness and joy, if you have not experienced the reverse of the coin?"

"So wanting everything to come together is okay?"

"Yes it is. Want everything to come together, but understand that everything will come together only when everything is meant to come together. Draw on your own experience, you were concerned that Katerina was going to do otherwise than accept your proposal of marriage. You knew that Katerina would accept your proposal of marriage, but you were concerned while you waited. Your concern achieved nothing, and everything occurred when everything was meant to occur. Worry or otherwise changes nothing."


Rainbow bar


"What should I do?"

"You should do nothing. That is the point. Accept what is happening. Do what your instinct tells you to do. The point is that it does not matter if you worry or do not worry. Worry or otherwise changes nothing. Allow your instinct to make your decisions, and have no concern. Everything is as everything should be."

I was struggling because I did not quite understand what I was being told.

"What is going to happen is going to happen. Your choices have not all been made, but your choices have been foreseen. Your choices are therefore destined. You know this. All that you can do, is allow everything to happen. If you knew exactly what your choices would be, your choices would not be choices. Your choices will be right for you, as everybody's choices are right for them. If I told you how all is to happen, you would attempt to influence events. You know this. You are only told that which you will not, or cannot influence. Everything which occurs is in your best interests. Everything gains you the experience which you need. You know this. This is why you have no concern for yourself. There are some things which you are yet to experience. Joyous things, mostly.

"You, we, are providing subtle reminders and opportunities to experience application of your awareness. Consider the messages which I have given you. Even though the situation looks hopeless at times, everything will come together in the end. Can you see the common theme? It is understandable that you wonder, with all that has happened, especially when I, we, have led you in a direction to experience something, allowing you to think, and at times telling you, that something else will occur. This leading, or misleading to experience has often occurred within the experience of all souls.

"We are now leading you to experience directly, which is the difference. You are aware, which is the difference. We need to be more direct in leading you where you need to be. I understand that you are concerned that you are being led to experience again, but search your soul. Within your soul you know the truth. You know when you are being led to your destination, and when you are being led to experience. You know this, and you know that you know this."


Rainbow bar


I retained my concerns. There had been many times when something appeared clear, but I had misunderstood.

"Yes, you continue to look in the mirror. There is no reason for you to continue to look in the mirror, because you have removed the reflective paint. You still think that you have failed, because you are concerned about things such as your mounting financial pressures and commitments. How could you not be concerned about your mounting financial pressures and commitments? However, you expect that you should not be concerned about your mounting financial pressures and commitments, and you are worried because you are concerned about your mounting financial pressures and commitments.

"You can live a sheltered existence, away from the pressures of the earth plane in a monastery, or by a stream. You know this, but what sort of example would you be? How would people follow your example? You can now see that you have created an environment of concern to demonstrate that being unconcerned is not something which you should strive for. How can you be unconcerned about things, which could cause others great distress?

"You have created an environment to demonstrate that being unconcerned when you are interacting with others within the illusion of the 'day to day' environment of the earth plane, is not possible. How can you experience when you do not feel. Creating a solitary environment creates no interaction and no experience other than looking within. You have proven that looking within can be done within the 'day to day' environment of the earth plane."

"But you have told me over and over again, not to be concerned."

"Yes I did. You aspired to be unconcerned very well, without your mounting financial pressure, you would have achieved your goal. You did achieve your goal. If I had not told you to be unconcerned, you would not have aspired to be unconcerned. There is no reason to be concerned, but you must experience that there is no reason to be concerned for yourself. How can you experience that there is no reason to be concerned, if you are not first concerned? You needed to experience that there is no reason to be concerned, so we made it impossible for you not to be concerned, by adding others and the impact on others to the equation. How would any follow your example, if they had such concerns and you did not?"


Rainbow bar


I was becoming very, very tired.

"Of course you become tired. You have again increased your vibrational rate without being properly in phase. Increasing your vibrational rate always tires you."

"So my difficult experience was created to demonstrate that the promise is your promise, and not my promise?"

"Yes, this is so. Even knowing that the promise is my promise, and not your promise, you still attempted to make my promise, your promise. You must experience, all must experience. Have I not told you that I cannot tell you? You must experience, and become aware for yourself."

"I know that I have no reason to be concerned."

"Correct. Now you will experience that you had, and you have no reason to be concerned. Look into your soul, you know that you have no reason to be concerned."

"I think we should run through the awareness process again, for summary and clarification."

"From the start?"

"Why not?"

"Okay. Firstly you needed to accept your role and have an introduction to enlightenment. Secondly you needed to understand the reality of the spirit plane, and begin to understand how everything is conveniently arranged. It then became time for you to begin to understand who you are. To understand who you are, you needed to strip yourself bare and remove all of your accumulated insecurities, which you found extremely difficult because there was much to be removed. Throughout the process, you were becoming aware of reality. You took every wrong step, and every detour imaginable. As you continued to understand the spirit plane, and you slowly rebuilt the puzzle of reality, your awareness increased, until you became aware of my presence within you."


Rainbow bar


"Okay, that makes sense. So what happened then?"

"We then had to expand the depth of your knowledge, until you developed a full understanding of reality. You needed to realise your true self, because only by becoming your true self, could you become one with your true self, your higher self. Again, throughout this process, you needed to increase your awareness, and put the remaining pieces of the puzzle of reality together. It was then time for you to understand the truth of the promise, and of the mirror effect of the earth plane."

"Can we recap on right and wrong?"

"There is no right or wrong, only experience. Firstly you learnt what was right for you, what action is in your best interest to allow you to become your true self. You have also become aware of what the purpose of existence is, and in so doing you understand the true nature of the artificial environment which is the earth plane. The interesting factor is that now that you understand, you know that there is no right or wrong. You will not judge anyone, because you know that there is no wrong, only experience."

"So there is no truth in what the religions tell us about right and wrong?"

"There is much truth within the religions, but most of the truth within the religions is in reverse. You will recall the mirror effect of the earth plane."


Rainbow bar


"The trinity is very important. Can we explore the concept of the trinity further?"

"The trinity is, in some ways, a extension of the mind, body and soul concept. What is generally referred to as mind, body and soul on the earth plane is more accurately using the mind and the spirit to govern the body. Developing such an ability can be achieved, but the most important aspect of the trinity is missing. The trinity is much more. The trinity is not controlling any one thing, the trinity is controlling all things through joining all levels of the trinity into one. It is adding knowledge to experience, to gain total awareness. Developing control of body is no more than a lifetime experience, and the experience of the discipline required to have control over the body. The basic difference is that you become one with the earth plane in the basic mind, body and soul concept, and one with creation in the trinity."

"How does the concept of creation, as in creating our own environment work?"

"The concept of creation, whether it be your own environment, or the universe is the same. Natural laws apply, laws which govern cause and effect. There is no magic, no willing a brick wall into existence. In the context of the earth plane, all things take time. However, on the higher plane, time does not exist. Remember that on your level you are attached to the earth plane, so creation takes time. A mountain can only be moved one grain of dirt at a time, but mountains can be moved as you have witnessed."

"If I wanted to change my environment, why wouldn't I just win the lottery?"

"Winning the lottery is not changing one's environment through creation. Winning the lottery is experiencing good fortune. There is a difference. Mostly when people win the lottery, they move their environment, they do not change their environment."


Rainbow bar


"What did I do, to change my environment?"

"You chose to travel what has been termed a 'spiritual' path. You chose to be used as an example. It is through travelling your path as an example, and recording your experiences that you have created your new environment. It is through this work that you will turn despair into joy.

"You have always worked hard, and you have changed your environment previously through hard work, commitment and hard decisions. That your environment never quite worked for you, was due to your ultimate choice, but if not for your choice to travel a 'spiritual' path, changing your environment through hard work would have been successful.

"Your real concern is that you feel that have done nothing to change your environment, which is incorrect. You have travelled the hard path, under very difficult circumstances. What you have done has been the hardest thing that you have ever done, or attempted to do. For the most part you faced your path with determination and courage, and even when you became disheartened and disenchanted, you never gave up. You followed your path when those around you laughed at you. To follow your path you needed to walk away from all that you wanted. You did walk away from all that you wanted, only to find that the path which you followed, in fact led to all that you wanted, not away from all that you wanted. Do not underestimate what you have achieved, and how what you have achieved will, how what you have achieved has, changed your environment."

"Can we expand on the concept that everything is as everything is meant to be?"

"Everything is always as everything is meant to be for everybody. Everything can be no other way. Existence on the earth plane is created only for experience. There is no other reason. All choices are known, because all choices are foreseen, not because all choices are directed. So all choices are still very much choices. If all things are foreseen, and if I will not, and cannot, interfere with the process of experience, then everything must always be, as everything is meant to be. Is this not so?"


Rainbow bar


"So all those times when you told me that everything was, as everything was meant to be, you were effectively humouring me?"

"I was stating a fact to allow you to quieten your mind."

"If all things are known, what is the point of experience. If the choices are known, why give choice?"

"Remember that the choices are not known to the conscious self, choices are only known to the higher self. The conscious self makes the choices, which the higher self knows, that the conscious self will make, but this does not interfere with the process of choice. Your higher self would not interfere with the process of choice. The higher self may influence where and when, as a matter of convenience, but that is all. The choices are real."

"Why bother with say making the higher decision, if we must also experience the lower decision?"

"Remember that experiences must be felt, so experiences are real. If your decisions are made with your higher self ideals, then the reverse experiences are mild. If decisions, even what could be termed 'positive decisions', are made with your conscious or lower self ideals, then the reverse experiences are more severe. The severity of the experience, or the depth with which experiences are felt, increases each time that one choses to experience them."

"So we experience something over and over again, until we 'get the point'?"

"Effectively, yes."


Rainbow bar

  "What I have recalled in respect of my experiences in animal form, appears to contradict what I previously understood about becoming animals."

"Not at all. A lot of enlightened souls do spend time as animals. You understood that some unenlightened souls also spend time as animals. In fact, all souls spend time as animals, birds, fish, plant life etc. Existing in a form other than human, is all a part of gaining experience. Animals do not have conscious minds, but animals do have conscious souls and instincts. All that has changed is the depth of your awareness, exactly as I told you that the depth of your awareness would change."

"I understand that when our future is foretold, the prediction can be changed if circumstances change."

"Indeed, that is so. Firstly, being drawn to a 'reading' is an opportunity which has been provided. If there is a warning, the choice must be made to heed that warning, or not heed that warning. By heeding the warning, circumstances have changed."

"We still seem to be repeating things."

"Yes and no. Mostly, when we repeat a point, we add depth each time that we repeat the point."

"By adding depth, we expand awareness?"

"Yes. Consider the summary which I gave you on the island. A very brief description of existence. What we have done since your return from the island, is expand on that description through adding depth, and applying more than 12,000 years experience to your knowledge, to develop your awareness and understanding."

"Are you suggesting that I am aware of all things?"

"You were aware of all things after that brief description which I gave you on the island. We have been, and we continue to increase the depth of that awareness. You are becoming aware of awareness. We are at the same time, increasing the depth of your understanding."


Rainbow bar

  "Is it important to follow the step by step process, to achieve what we have achieved?"

"For most yes. Some are able to go from point A to point B by simply becoming aware. Most cannot grasp the concept to become aware, and choose to believe that there is something special about the person who does become aware, which there is not. If people are told; 'you are this today and can be that tomorrow', they do not believe, because they have no point of reference. What we have now done is taken the path to become aware of your true self, step by step, and process by process, to demonstrate how becoming aware of your true self is achieved, and also what is achieved by becoming aware of your true self. In so doing, we provide a point of reference."

"Sort of a 'do it yourself' guide?"

"Yes. 'Do it yourself' is the only way that true awareness can be achieved. All answers are found within self."

"So why didn't others who have found God, and their true selves go through the same process?"

"Each path is individual, but essentially they did follow the same process. Mostly they followed the process over many years, and usually over many lifetimes. Your process, as you have called it, was so concentrated because of your choice to show others the way."

"So most will follow a more gradual process?"

"Yes they will, each must travel their own path, at their own speed. You have recalled the opportunities which you were given, prior to going to the island, to commence your journey. Not only in this lifetime, but in other lifetimes. You chose not to take the opportunities to commence your journey, and it was foreseen that you would make the choices, which you made. It was foreseen that when you chose to commence your journey, you would choose a highly concentrated process, so it was convenient to use you, as an example."

"So I did not experience an intense and concentrated awareness process, because I was the example. I became the example, because I chose to experience an intense and concentrated awareness process?"

"Yes, that is so. Recall the mirror effect of the earth plane. It was known you would make the choices which you made, and therefore you became a convenient example."


Rainbow bar

  "Are you saying that what was said to me, the Native American boy on the mountain 300 years ago, was not true?"

"No, that is not what I am saying. You chose to experience betrayal when it was convenient for you to experience betrayal in circumstances involving Jesus. You then chose to punish yourself for the betrayal, by making yourself unworthy. You allowed the intensity of your unworthiness to grow. When you were the Native American boy, you were given the opportunity to complete your task, to release yourself from your unworthiness. You chose not to accept the opportunity, as was foreseen. What you were told was the truth, even though you did not understand the full truth, at the time."

"In effect, we have taken the truth and filled in the detail?"

"Yes, you will recall that you were told on the island that you would be a teacher. This was the truth, and this is the truth. All we have done is to add detail. Every time that you were told why you, it was the truth and yet each time you pursued more detail in respect of 'why you', because each time you knew, that there was more than you were being told, until you became aware that 'why you' was a simple matter of convenience. Effectively, you were told that 'why you' was a simple matter of convenience at the beginning, but you did not understand what you were told."

"So my existence, all that has led me to this point, has been cause and effect, which is the basis of all creation?"

"Yes, this is so. Every event in your existence, and every event in the existence of all, can be traced back through cause and effect, to their original creation."

"Then my assessment, that my journey to awareness has been very intense, is correct?"

"Yes, more than you know. Your journey to awareness has taken every ounce of inner strength which you had possessed. By exercising your inner strength, you have at the same time increased your inner strength. That is why, when you asked yourself what you have done to create a new environment for yourself, it was a nonsense. You have done much, and you have utilised all of your inner strength to achieve what you have achieved."


Rainbow bar

  "What is the purpose of the insights which I was given?"

"The insights are a guide to trusting one's instinct, and living with one's soul. The insights are multi-dimensional. The meaning of the insights changes with awareness, as you know. The insights are not rules, the insights are a guideline, and the meaning of the insights is found within the reader, and is individual to the reader. There is no correct interpretation of the insights, and every interpretation of the insights is correct."

The insights which were given to me, are contained within The Truth Of Reality, series of books.

"You say that I create my own environment, and that all create their own environment, and then you talk about arranging things."

"You create your own environment based on what you desire or what you need. I arrange what you need, as far as bringing others into the environment, to allow you to maximise the experience. Now you are creating your own environment consciously, which is achieved by the trinity working in unison. Each part of the trinity does what is required, on whichever plane they are operating on. Utilising the trinity, albeit consciously or unconsciously, is the only way that a required environment can be created."

"Those who are on a dark path are simply experiencing darkness, is this correct?"

"Yes experiencing darkness is all those who are on a dark path are doing. All experience the dark path during their existence. You yourself have experienced the dark path. Like all experiences, sometimes souls choose to become stuck on a point and experience a point over and over again. Those who choose to experience the dark path, experience being further away from the light each time that they repeat the experience. In time those who are on a dark path will seek to experience the light again. The more that the dark path has been experienced, the further the dark path has been travelled, and the longer it takes to travel back to the light. Consider your own situation when you chose to experience being unworthy 2,000 years ago. You first attempted to experience being worthy 1,600 years ago, but you had travelled too far down that path, and you have only now experienced being worthy again."


Rainbow bar

  "If all knowledge is within, why is an answer often provided externally?"

"When the answers within are being blocked, it is often necessary to deliver an answer or, as is usual, a key externally. All answers are within, and all that is delivered externally, originates from within. What is delivered externally, has been arranged on the spirit plane. Sometimes answers are provided externally, but answers must be sought within. If answers are sought externally, answers will not be found."

"So if we seek answers within, and we are blocking the answer, we will arrange for the answer to be delivered by another person, through soul contact on the spirit plane."

"This is correct, although 'spirit' contact is a little more accurate description. Another means to deliver an answer is through your higher self leading you to a book, or a movie, or some such thing, because your higher self knows, that whatever you are led to contains the answer which you are seeking. A book, or a movie, or some such thing is a convenient way to deliver an answer."

"How does one know, when an answer is given and received through external means?"

"One knows when an answer is received, and one knows that one knows."

"If all is by choice, why is suicide wrong?"

"Suicide is not wrong. There is no wrong. If one commits suicide the lifetime has not been fully experienced, so the lifetime must be repeated. If one continues to commit suicide, to prematurely end a learning process, they will continue to repeat the same lifetime in principle, until they have experienced not committing suicide. There are two sides to the coin. You have much experience at repeating the same lifetime, through suicide."


Rainbow bar

  "I know that there is no right and wrong, but I still view things as right and wrong."

"You view things as right and wrong, and you do not view things as right and wrong. You view things as right and wrong to some extent, as an echo from all that was taught to you lifetime after lifetime. As with all altered perceptions, the echoes of your previous perceptions will disappear in time. If we review your concept of right and wrong, from the perspective of now, what is a right course of action is governed by your higher self, and what is termed a wrong course of action is governed by your lower self. The higher self leads to 'heaven on earth', the lower self leads to experience. By finding your higher self, your lower self will experience 'heaven on earth'."

"Even if I am aware of a soul contact, the soul contact which I am aware of may have been preceded by a soul contact, which I am unaware of. Is this correct?"

"Yes and the soul contact, or as I have explained more accurately spirit contact, can replace a physical contact. Contact at any level can be arranged to provide one or the other, or most likely both, with experience in the same way as physical contact."

"Why experience only on the spirit plane?"

"Sometimes to experience only on the spirit plane is convenient."

"We are changing the terminology of soul contact to spirit contact. I understand that spirit contact is more accurate. Why did we not describe spirit contact correctly in the first place?"

"This principle of altering our label has occurred often, and sometimes more than once with the same concept. Labels are unimportant to me, but labels are important to those on the earth plane. For example, if we had used the term 'experience' instead of 'learning' when we started communicating, you would not have understood. I even said that learning was not an accurate description. However, even understanding is not enough. You need to associate with the term that is used. If we say that you have more to learn, people understand what we mean.

"If we say 'you are here to experience', we would lose many. They would read on, because they were led to the book, but they would not associate with the contents, and it would be more difficult to deliver the message. So we say learn, and we qualify learn. As your story develops, and you experience that learning is not learning, in the sense that it is something which you did not know, but 'learning' is relearning through experience, and becoming consciously aware of what you did know. As your story progresses, those who follow will associate with the changes. Firstly through your experience, which they will secondly confirm, with their own experience."


Rainbow bar

  "I gather that it is not a coincidence, that I am able to express myself far better in writing than I am verbally."

"Of course not. That you are able express yourself far better in writing, than you are verbally is something which you once saw as a characteristic that you needed to overcome. It was not. You chose much of your character to give you the characteristics, which you needed to complete your role. Being better able to write about what has occurred, than talk about what has occurred, is necessary so that you will write about, what has occurred."

"Sometimes I think that these explanations are only a way for me to rationalise my character flaws."

"You do not think that you are rationalising your character flaws at all. You have considered that you may be rationalising your character flaws, but you know otherwise. You have no character flaws, and neither does anyone else. All have the character which they have selected to experience what they have chosen to experience. Therefore, nobody's character can be flawed. Your real concern is that you view everything differently to most people, but you view everything from a position of awareness. You know that others have, and do judge you because you view everything differently, and that some condemn you because you view everything differently, but regardless of how severe their judgement is, you do not judge others, because you know that judgment is not real."

"There are times when I feel that I am judging others."

"No you do not feel that you are judging others, because you know that judgment is not real. All that has happened is that you see clearly enough to know what many have chosen to experience, which is not judgement, but awareness."


Rainbow bar

  "I suspect that part of the reason why I put pressure on myself, is that when you have given me a time frame, I attempt to work to that time frame."

"You are correct. If I say that something will occur in six weeks, when there are say four weeks left, you think that you must work harder, which allows you to put pressure on yourself. You must stop putting pressure on yourself, through attempting to work to whatever time frame I suggest. You must allow whatever that something is to happen in the six weeks. If that something does not happen, it does not matter. Has it not occurred to you, that you are only given a time frame, regardless of whether the time frame is accurate or not, to allow you to experience putting yourself under pressure to meet a time frame? If whatever that something is, is meant to happen in six weeks that something will happen. If that something is not meant to happen in six weeks, that something will not happen. Putting pressure on yourself, achieves nothing other than allowing you to experience that putting pressure on yourself, achieves nothing."

"I am concerned because all that I do is work and rest. I never really interact or socialise."

"You are doing what you need to do. At the moment you are effectively working two full time jobs. One job for the future, and one job for now. Of course you need to rest. As for socialising or interacting, there will be much time for socialising and interacting when you have discontinued your old job. There is also socialising and socialising. You no longer need to socialise to avoid being alone, to hide from yourself. Much socialising is really only used to hide from oneself, by providing a diversion at an artificial, safe, surface level. You are at peace. You have some fun. You laugh and you enjoy life. Why do you think that you need to laugh and enjoy life with others? It is good to share fun, laughter and enjoyment of life, but sharing fun, laughter and enjoyment of life is not necessary. Mostly people are scared to laugh and enjoy life alone."

"I am scared that I am becoming a recluse."

"No, you are not scared that you are becoming a recluse. If you were becoming a recluse, why would becoming a recluse be something to be scared of? Some choose to experience a lifetime of solitude. A lifetime of solitude is only experience. You have no need for a lot of interaction with others at the moment, because you have mostly experienced what you need to experience, and you are now drawing on lifetimes of experience. Much of your recent interaction with others is assisting you to draw on your experience, and to experience the application of your experience."


Rainbow bar

  "It seems that some of our experience is little more than a process of elimination."

"Experience is a lot more than a process of elimination, but essentially you are correct. All souls need to experience that only pure love is real, and in so doing experience all things, so that they can become one with all things."

"I suspect that I am still attempting to live up to what is your promise to me."

"That is exactly what you are doing. All that you need to do is live, to allow everything to happen, and to follow your instinct, or listen to your higher self, which is the same thing. This is all that any need to do, because this enables me to live up to my promise. It is not up to you to live up to my promise, you only need to live. I will do the rest."

"Perhaps I am concerned that I am not fulfilling my part."

"Yes, that is what you are concerned about, but your concern is unfounded. You are fulfilling your part. You are 'living with your soul'. You are concerned, because I am giving you the opportunity to live with your soul, through allowing you to experience the application of awareness. Remember, awareness is only part way. Applying that awareness completes the journey. Awareness is not awareness, until awareness is applied. The application of awareness, after all is the purpose of the earth plane. All souls are fully aware at the point of their creation. You yourself have experienced being fully aware at the point of your creation. You know that awareness is not enough by itself, and that the application of awareness must be experienced. You feel that you have somehow failed, because you are being given opportunities to apply your awareness, but you have not failed."


Rainbow bar

  "So I am retaining my peace, because I am applying my awareness?"

"Yes this is correct. You are now aware of who you are, not in the sense of one or the other of your identities, but who you are. You are applying your awareness to fully experience who you are. At times throughout this lifetime, you were close to being who you are, notwithstanding the unworthiness, but you experienced that others cannot understand, who you are or indeed who they are. So others told you that 'who you are' is wrong, and you attempted to change, who your are. You experienced that changing who your are, is not possible.

"People cannot understand how you can care as deeply as you care, and still allow them to experience emotional and spiritual pain, when they feel that you could remove their emotional and spiritual pain with a word. However, you can allow others to experience emotional and spiritual pain, because you care so deeply. Others assume that you do not care, because you do not pander to their insecurities, but you have experienced, even in this lifetime, that fuelling such insecurities is the worst thing that you can do to another. Can you not see that some do not love themselves, and as such cannot understand how someone else can love them, so they continually seek proof that you love them?

"You know that proof of love is not possible, and you have experienced that proof of love is not possible, in this lifetime. Therefore you do not attempt to prove your love. The only explanation that those seeking such proof of your love can accept, is that they were right, they are unlovable. They believe that you have proven that they are unlovable, by not caring. They are blinded by their desperation to be proven wrong, to be proven that they are lovable. They cannot see that you are torn, that you would cut off your right arm to help them, and that you are 'helpless' because you know that the only way to help them, is to allow them to face whatever they have chosen to experience.

"You have at times allowed others to convince you that you are uncaring, with no capability of love, but if this was so, you would not even be in their environment. If you did not care, you would remove yourself from their lives completely, without a second thought. Can you not see that much of your current experience, is caused by your concern for others, not by concern for yourself? You have an enormous capacity for love, and a very deep caring. Both are such that they are difficult to understand, but Graeme understood.


Rainbow bar


"Your current experience is not that you care too little, your current experience, is that you care too much. That you care too much applies throughout your life, and that you care too much applies to your business, as well as to your personal relationships. You would do anything, if you thought that 'anything' would help, but you have tried anything, and it has not helped. You have experienced this in this lifetime. You now know that each must do for themselves, and you will help when asked, but you know that you cannot experience for another. Although through love, you want to experience for another. How do you think I feel?

"Now, I have given you something to think about."


Rainbow bar

  Click for site map
  Rainbow bar

Copyright permission is seldom withheld.