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Searching for My Soul
Book Three Understanding My Destiny

Tuning In.

  I had a minor difficulty with a public servant, the attitude of some public servants had always irritated me.

God said, "Do you see what has just happened?"

I responded, "I do not know what I was supposed to do."

"You were not supposed to do anything. Let me explain. Firstly she wanted to demonstrate her power and to get you to do what she wanted, or argue with her. Either way she intended to draw on your power. You did neither, you told her you would do things another way, which removed her control of the situation. You did not attempt to draw her power however, because you do not need her power. She then tried to help. Because she could not draw your power by control or argument, she chose to build her own power by helping. You allowed her to help you. In fact, you offered her a solution, which would have worked had circumstances not conspired to prevent your solution from working. What she received from the exchange was absolutely nothing, nor did she lose anything, although you could have drawn her power. After the exchange she felt flat, you saw this. Not empowered, not drained, just flat."

"Yes, but what was the point? What was I supposed to do?"

"Exactly what you did, allow your instinct to take control."


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I reflected on my memories. When I had remembered being a spider, I had remembered being aware of exactly what was happening. I knew I could not have imagined being aware as a spider, because I would not have believed that spiders were aware of anything around them, not in a conscious way at least.

I had some further discussion with God, and I asked God if the discussion should be recorded.

God responded, "No, this discussion is unimportant."

"What is the difference?"

"The discussion was specific for you. You know that specifics do not matter. It is the process, as you have termed it, that matters. The process and enough detail for the example, that is all.

"The echoes of your fears are a fear of the unknown, which is what lies ahead. However, your fears can only be echoes because you know what lies ahead. You have created your future and therefore there is nothing to fear.

"Look into your soul, you know exactly what to expect, you know what will be. You need have nothing but confidence.

"Most of this third book in your personal trilogy, and remember you were told months ago that you would write three books, will be written in the next six weeks. This will be followed by a conclusion, and the review of all you have experienced, after you have rested. Then you will begin to teach. You know this, because you know that your time is very near, as you previously knew that your time was not as near as you would have liked."


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At the time I believed that I knew what God had meant, but I did not. It was only as I completed my a review more than a year later that I truly understood. Of course 'near' and 'soon' are both relative terms and telling me that my time was near really told me nothing, although I did not really understand this at the time.

I was writing Entering The Gates Of Heaven, my eighth book at the time of this review. I had to question God's comment that I would write three books.

At this time God said, "You did write three books, did you not? What if I had told you that you would write eight books, or perhaps thirty books. Would it matter? What the additional information would have done, is confused you and altered your experiences. Throughout your journey, it has always been important that you believed that your journey was nearly complete."

I realised that I had been trapped by the question of when I would fulfil my destiny. I had the answer all along. I had been fulfilling my destiny since the moment of my creation. All of the choices that I would make, and all of the choices that I would have were known. From the moment that I made my first choice, I had begun to fulfil my destiny.

Each time I focused on the echo of a fear, or I forgot something which I should have known, I was given a subtle reminder. I knew that the subtle reminders would continue, but the subtle reminders would diminish, as I tuned myself in to my own frequency.


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I asked if I would remain in contact with those I was close to in this lifetime after I had ascended.

God said, "When a master first ascends, a master remains closely linked to those he is bonded to."

I said, "He?"

"How would you have me describe a master? It? For you a master is a he, if you were a female a master would be she. It is so with God. You see me as he, because you are male and that is your choice. You could choose to see me as she, it is the same to me. I am both. I am all."

"Many known masters seem to have been males."

"Known masters yes, but there have been many masters who have been females. At one time masters were mostly females, priestesses were the accepted spiritual leaders in many societies. In the societies which have dominated for the last few thousand years, when communication was being expanded, most societies viewed females as less than equal than males. This is incorrect, but it meant that the males were more acceptable to society. There were female masters, but the female masters were not widely known or accepted, even within their own communities."


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God wanted to start explaining aspects of what are known as the Ten Commandments to me, but I needed to attend my office that morning.


"I have reports to complete."

"You do not have all of the information that you need."

"No, but I can get the information that I need."

"You know that you will not get the information that you need.

"You are expected to attend the office this morning, but you do not have to attend the office this morning. The meeting which was to occur this morning was postponed. You have a business meeting this afternoon, but you have no need to attend the office this morning. You had expected to attend the office this morning, but everything is as everything is meant to be, not as you expected. You know that your expectations do not matter, the experience is only an echo of what was, what I have called a subtle reminder.

"Have I not told you that you have much to do during the next six weeks? We can start right now, there is no reason why we cannot not start now. Finalise your arrangements, attend to the courtesy, and then we will talk.


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"Understanding the meaning of the Ten Commandments is important. You already know the true meaning of the Ten Commandments. You were there when of the Ten Commandments were delivered. It is time to record your knowledge.

"The Ten Commandments are not rules. The Ten Commandments are more like guidelines, as we have established. The Ten Commandments are also misunderstood. It is not; 'if you follow these guidelines you will find God', it is; 'if you find God within, you will live this way'. There is no point in abiding by the Ten Commandments, or attempting to abide by the Ten Commandments solely for the purpose of finding God, because you know that finding God does not work that way.

"There is one God, which you know because you have found the truth. That you have found the truth is the point. You know that there is one God, and you know the nature of the truth.

"Taking the name of God in vain, does not offend me, as you well know. You also know that all is created by self, so if something does not go your way, you do not curse me or anyone else. You know better because you have found the truth within.


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"We can talk about honouring the Sabbath, but you know that I do not concern myself with which day is which. The point is that you talk to me on a regular basis, you communicate with me, as you need communicate with me, not only every Sunday at 10.00, often for appearance sake."

"Okay, I understand, but I still curse. I can agree that I do the two other things, but I curse."

"You do curse, but you do not mean your curse. That is the difference, you know better. Your cursing is only an echo of your past frustration, and your cursing will diminish as you tune yourself in."

When I reviewed my notes for this book, more than a year later, I saw that God had been right and that I no longer cursed.

"The issue of adultery is an interesting one. We have discussed the principle before. Adultery in itself is not wrong, nothing is wrong as you know. You yourself have experienced being with thousands, yes many thousands in your lifetime as a whore, as you will recall. The point is once you have found your soulmate, you want no other. The drive, the need you have for a mate is driven by the desire to find the other half of the soul. Consider your own position now that you have found your soulmate, you want no other. You have no desire for another, you want only the one, and you know that only the one can provide the completion, which is all that you seek.


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"Now that you have finalised your arrangements for today, let us consider the circumstances for a moment. The information which you needed to deliver at this afternoon's meeting, you have had at home for around a week instead of leaving it at the office. You had not booked your usual restaurant, and the restaurant which was chosen by those you are to meet, just happens to be in the same building which you discovered late yesterday that you would need to visit to obtain the information which you require for your trip to England. The meeting today will finalise that outstanding contractual matter, which you knew that you could not sustain. The meeting today suits your business partner's needs, so it is of no concern that you are not in the office.

"You see how everything is exactly as everything is meant to be. The information which you require to complete the report will not be available until tomorrow, so you have been once more subtly reminded that you were concerned for no reason. Remember, you yourself created this environment, because you know what you still need to experience. It is an environment of subtle reminders.

"Now we will consider coveting what you do not have. Firstly you know that you have all that you need, you have experienced that you have all that you need. You also know because of what you are now experiencing, that if you need or desire something different, you simply create what you need. There is no reason to covet. What do you now covet? You covet nothing. You wish to experience joy, and you have created that environment. You desire to show others the way, and you have created that environment as well. You are soon to bring your creations to realisation.


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"The concept of bearing false witness is misunderstood. What is bearing false witness? You know bearing false witness is not misleading others, because you know that I will mislead for the purpose of experience. That you will not bare false witness means that you will see all souls as they are, a soul in the process of gaining experience. You will not say that souls are evil, or that souls have evil intent as you have said. You know that souls are experiencing a dark path, but experiencing a dark path is all that such souls are doing, experiencing. You know this.

"You are beginning to become aware of the truth of what is known as the Ten Commandments. You knew the truth of the Ten Commandments, and you knew that the Ten Commandments were not as the Ten Commandments were portrayed, because you have recalled what Moses had said to you. You held your awareness within you, because you knew that you would draw on this awareness when you were ready to tune yourself in."

Moses was with me, he came to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He then kissed each cheek and embraced me. He smiled and said, "Welcome back."

At this time, I no longer wore a beard in this lifetime, but felt the beard that I had worn in the lifetime when I had walked with Moses.


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"Let us consider this issue of murder, or thou shalt not kill. Killing in itself is an experience, it is an experience which you have had many times. So too is being killed, and this experience you have also had many times. Thou shalt not kill is a guideline, because if you experience killing, you also need to experience being killed. You must experience the two edges of the same sword, as you will recall. You do not kill, not because, as you have suspected, you are interrupting another's experience, because being killed is the experience. You know that death of the physical body is not real. Killing is the symbol of ultimate harm and having experienced killing from both sides to fully understand the experience, you will not kill because you have no need to kill. You have already experienced killing enough. Consider you own situation. You have no desire to kill even the insects, which I have sent so you will experience how you feel now.

"You start to struggle with the remaining commandments, but why do you struggle? Allow yourself to remember. Do you think that it was coincidence that you happened to review a paragraph on death in your notes when you were ready to explore the 'Thou shalt not kill' commandment?

"As you recall the true meaning of the Ten Commandments, you know that you are tuning yourself in, and you wonder what is to come. I will tell you what is to come, expansion, completion and review.


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"Expansion will occur before you go away, completion while you are away, and review when you return. Then and only then will you be ready to teach. You know this."

"To Honour thy father and thy mother, you must first understand who your father and your mother are. Your father and your mother are not your physical parents, who were chosen to give you your physical characteristics and for karmic reasons. You know this. Your father and your mother are the souls from which you were created. Enlightened souls residing in the One. These souls are both father and mother to all souls, as am I. The context, however, is to honour those who have gained enlightenment and become part of the One. Honour as in understanding that they have experienced all and returned to the One. Those who have gained enlightenment have achieved what all must achieve, and the achievement of those who have gained enlightenment should be honoured, not worshipped.

"The other commandments are sub-points of these commandments. Why would you covet your neighbour's wife if you have your soulmate? It is not possible, is it?

"To steal is to take something that you want. Why would you steal when you do not want anything? You have all you need, and you can create what you desire to experience.


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"If you view the so called commandments as they are, the Ten Commandments are indeed a covenant, but the Ten Commandments are a promise from God, not a promise to God, as has been supposed. I have not said if you abide by the Ten Commandments you will find God, I have said if you find God you live the Ten Commandments. It is not easy for souls to accept that both the Ten Commandments, and the promise are reversed.

"Having reviewed the Ten Commandments point by point, we can now consider the real issue. The real issue is that you do not become God, you are God. You are God gaining experience, so that God can become God. Confusing? Perhaps, but only if you do not view the truth as the circular.

"Every soul forms a part of God, and God forms a part of every soul. Therefore, every soul is God, and God is every soul.

"The truth is that simple and that complicated. If I say to any soul on the earth plane; 'you are God' they say; 'wait a minute, I am not God. How can I be God?' All view God in the image which they have created for God. Do you see the similarity with the Ten Commandments. The image which most have of God follows the same in principle. What has been said has been reversed, because the truth could not be conceived any other way. When you are told that man was created in God's image, the Truth was misunderstood, and God was created in man's image.


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"It was possible for you to allow this further knowledge to surface, because you are tuning in. You are becoming tuned in by becoming aware of the true nature of my covenant. Your soul no longer needed to leave you when you began to operate on the same wavelength as your soul. Now you are all but tuned in, you will not become as tired. When you are finely tuned, you will cease to become tired."

Despite this statement from God, my soul did continue to leave me, to disappear within, in search of awareness or answers.

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