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Searching for My Soul
 
Book Three Understanding My Destiny
 

The View From The Summit

 

The following morning, I would have some funds available. However, an old problem had resurfaced, and my bank account was again frozen. This time, according to my contact with the bank, it may not be so easy to unfreeze my bank account.

I was also concerned with increasing my debt again, but I could only leave my ability to repay my debt in God's hands. I had much to do that day. I did not believe that everything would go as smoothly as I had hoped. If not, I was being given an opportunity to apply my awareness.

I seemed to be out of touch with my spirituality, or I had been left alone to experience something from the earth plane perspective. I was being told something, but I could not receive the message.

When I had been on the island, I had been told that I would write a compilation book about the spiritual experiences of others. I had not really understood how I would write such a book at the time, but during the previous few weeks I had been attracting spiritual experiences of others like a magnet. The previous evening, I was told it was time to start gathering information.

There had been something happening within my body for several days. I was experiencing an all over fluttering which I could not quite explain. It was as if something was changing within my body. I could not even begin to think about working this experience out.

I received a message from Nancy. I spent the morning providing guidance. I knew my teaching role had begun, albeit in a very controlled environment as I gained experience. As often happened, I found that by responding to someone who sought guidance, I was also answering some unanswered questions of my own.

 

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The day did not unfold as had I planned. Some things that I attempted worked, and some things that I attempted did not work. My day was that simple. Mostly the difficulties which I encountered did not concern me greatly. Mostly I flowed.

I needed to attend some unexpected meetings. Most of the meetings proceeded without any problems. There were some issues which I had not been comfortable with, but when I reviewed the meetings, I realised that I had followed my instinct at all times.

I stood at the summit and looked around before finally picking myself up. The world was an absolute picture. It was morning and I was at peace. I reflected that I was on my own, as I had been most of the previous day.

After considering all of the difficulties which I had encountered, and overcome the previous day, after considering all of the worries which had developed the previous day, it was apparent that I was being given an opportunity to apply my awareness, or more accurately I had created an opportunity to apply my awareness.

The spider who had lived in my bathroom for some time, and who had triggered many memories of my existence had died of natural causes. Having fulfilled the role the spider had agreed to adopt, the spider had moved on.

 

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I was being led to some answers.

God said, "If you were given a magic moment, as you have called it, when everything comes together, then all would expect to find a magic moment. All would feel that they had failed in some way, when their magic moment did not arrive, just as you have felt. You have on a number of occasions been given events which could have been 'magic moments', but each time you encountered such opportunities you chose to pass the opportunities up. Do not concern yourself with this, because it was foreseen you would not embrace the opportunities which were presented to you. Consider the example which you have provided here. The example that opportunities for a magic moment exist, and the knowledge that some will choose to embrace the opportunities for a magic moment. Also the example to keep going, if the magic moment does not occur, and slowly allow awareness to build. If you had chosen other than you have chosen, what example would those who did not choose the magic moment, have to follow?

"You have created, and you are creating your 'heaven on earth'. Each day you add a little more to your creation. If your 'heaven on earth' was to magically appear, all would look for 'heaven on earth' to magically appear, but 'heaven on earth' will magically appear for some."

Evelyn was with me all of the time now, which I found comforting.

I spoke with Rodney who gave me some interesting information. It seemed my partners were unsure what to do, whether to change my employment status or not. They were thinking of offering me a position as a consultant, which would mean the continuation of a regular income would be gone. The other scenario which Rodney presented to me, was that a former employer was considering offering me a position. I did not know what to make of these developments.

 

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It was possible that one of the options which Rodney suggested was how God would provide for me, until my spiritual work provided for me. Potentially the developments which Rodney had brought to my attention gave me something to worry about, but the timing was such that Rodney's information gave me an opportunity to apply my awareness not to worry.

In many ways Rodney's information dovetailed nicely with how it appeared everything would develop, but I had experienced too much to see Rodney's information as a solution, without considering the possibility that Rodney's information was a demonstration that other solutions were possible.

God said, "Do nothing about what you have just learned. Do not worry."

I allowed my mind to wander in respect of these new developments. I saw how these new developments could provide the example of how we are provided for, when we do God's work, until it was time for the new environment which we had created to come together.

By working for another employer I could still gather information in preparation for a compilation book, but I would no longer be able to work from home which would confirm what I suspected that the current phase of my journey was slowing down, and I would no longer need to work from home.

All of the pieces fitted very well, unless there was a piece of the puzzle missing. I could see how these potential developments could come into being, but I had experienced too much to assume that the new developments were the answer.

God said, "When the time comes to act, I will guide you. Do not have concerns, everything will work out. Allow events to occur around you."

 

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I considered the implication of returning to the corporate environment, and it occurred to me that if I was to return to the corporate environment, I would be given an opportunity to exist within the corporate environment from a completely new perspective, such as making decisions based on instinct alone, instead of overriding my instinct. The possibility of returning to the corporate environment, had some fascinating implications from the perspective of an example.

The day continued to prove interesting. Mostly I was calm. Occasionally I experienced the odd moment of worry, but each time that I worried, I was told; "Do not worry".

I wanted to act when I became impatient, but each time that I wanted to act, I was told; "Do nothing".

I was rewarded with peace. I was in the stage of my process when I was in contact with people. Sally rang, and I was able to share much of what I was experiencing with Sally. Anne rang, her life was also coming together, and I was required to provide Anne with a little guidance.

Each day, more and more things were falling into place. Everything seemed to be falling into place quicker than I had anticipated. Things which I had worried about for months, were falling into place easily and with no trouble whatsoever.

It was hard to believe that only three days earlier I had reached the breaking point. Everything was becoming clear. As I reflected that evening, I realised that there were some possessions which I could sell and quickly obtain some additional funds.

That very night, I did manage to sell the possessions that I had determined I could sell, for the price which I had in mind.

 

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As usual, after a period of solitude I also spoke with many friends that day. I reflected on the guidance which I was asked to give people from time to time. I felt that providing guidance was an awesome responsibility. All that I could do was pass on the guidance which I was asked to pass on. It would always be the receiver's choice whether to accept my guidance or otherwise.

The following morning, I was able to speak to my cousin Dorothy. Each day my plans were becoming a little clearer, as everything fell into place.

I spoke with my partner that morning to finalise arrangements for a business meeting that afternoon. I found myself wanting to do something in respect of what Rodney had told me about my partner's concerns, and my possible future. I knew from experience that events would occur when events were destined to occur, and that I could not change when events were destined to occur, no matter how hard I tried.

If I did attempt to determine what would occur, or force something to occur, I would once again experience frustration and impatience. I was ready for whatever occurred, and I had been told not to worry. I was very clearly being given an opportunity to apply my awareness, and I chose to apply my awareness. I knew that everything may not occur, as it appeared that everything would occur by adding up the pieces which I had been given. I knew from experience that all this would mean, was that there was a piece or two which I had not been given, at this point. I suspected that there was a piece or two which I had not been given, because missing pieces would provide a more complete opportunity to apply my awareness. Whatever happened was meant to happen. If I accepted that whatever happened was meant to happen, I would retain my peace. When the time came to make a decision I would be guided, even if something happened in a way in which I had not anticipated.

 

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One thing which I found difficult to reconcile at this point, was that I was drawn back to the island. I felt that I would return to the island at some point, but at this point in time I had neither the time nor the money to contemplate returning to the island. I knew from experience that what I had today, was in all probability not relevant to what would happen tomorrow.

It was a quiet day. I spent the afternoon at a business lunch, and as a result I had a report to write and deliver the next morning.

For no apparent reason I developed a migraine that night, and as a result I was unable to work on the report. I did not allow my inability to work on the report to concern me. I knew that if I was meant to complete the report, I would complete the report.

The following morning, I awoke later than I would have liked. However, I wrote the report in only twenty-five minutes. I had been right not to be concerned, and I had accepted another opportunity to apply my awareness.

I reflected that morning, that after receiving indications that everything would change, I had heard nothing and in just over three weeks I would leave for Europe to meet Katerina.

I knew that even though there did not seem to be enough time, there would be enough time. Whatever happened would be, as whatever happened was meant to be. I was relaxed and I retained my peace. I found myself reviewing all of the times when I had become totally frustrated with events not occurring in the way in which I had anticipated. I looked for a pattern, the recurring common denominator so that I could more effectively apply my awareness.

The pattern was very clear. Each time that I had clearly foreseen an event, I had then incorrectly rationalised an aspect of the event which I had foreseen. It was the confusion created by my rationalisation which had caused my frustration. The aspect which I had rationalised incorrectly may have been different each time, but the pattern or the constant, was that I had rationalised a key factor incorrectly. I had then accepted my rationalisation as fact, instead of a possibility. I needed to discontinue adding more to a foreseen event than I was given. I needed to be satisfied with exactly what I was given.

 

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Another thing that was becoming apparent was that in addition to the six books of insight (which became The Truth Of Reality - Part One), that I had already prepared and would review when it was time, there were more insights contained within my notes, that would in future form the basis of additional books of insight, (which became additional chapters of The Truth Of Reality).

I was beginning to suspect that 'the trilogy' would only cover my transitional period. I knew there would also be a conclusion, but I was not sure how the conclusion would come together at this point. I knew that how the conclusion came together, did not matter.

It was proving to be another day where small things were falling into place. I booked my tickets. That night, I had a very deep discussion. I was struggling because I was viewing life from a totally different perspective than the person with whom I was talking. I was not convinced I was handling the conversation at all well.

Later when I reflected on the events of that night, I saw that I could not adequately express my point. I said, "I guess that discussion was to demonstrate that I am not ready."

God replied, "No, the discussion was a demonstration that it is futile to attempt to explain anything ,to those who are not ready to listen."

"I did not handle the discussion well, all of the time. There were moments when I nearly became angry."

"You are still attached to the earth plane, and you handled the discussion well. Did you never see Jesus become angry?"

 

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Later that night, a few events did not occur as I had anticipated. I was given another opportunity to apply my awareness, which I accepted. It was a time when many things fell into place, with the occasional thing seeming to go wrong which provided me with an opportunity to experience the application of my awareness.

The following morning, I awoke extremely early. I was not sure why I awoke extremely early, but I began working. I reflected that I was again waiting for messages which I had expected some time ago, but I did not receive the messages that I was awaiting. The scenario was similar to my experiences of the previous week, but this time I applied my awareness.

I reflected for a time and I considered all of the times when I had wondered how long I would need to endure. I realised that I had needed to endure, until I no longer endured. The circumstances would not change, but my need to endure would change. In reality, I was only enduring, because I felt that I was enduring.

I was beginning to see a danger of stumbling again. I could see what was likely to occur within the next two weeks. I could see that there were options which would supplement what was occurring. I could see that everything could take a completely different turn. I believed that everything would not stay the same, but everything may well stay the same. I could see many logical reasons for everything changing one way or another. I could not see how everything could remain the same, although there was a possibility that everything would stay, as everything was. I needed to be prepared that everything would stay, as everything was, simply by not discounting that everything would stay, as everything was.

 

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I had heard nothing from any of the three sources from which I had been expecting news. I knew that I was being given another opportunity to apply my awareness. So far I had been able to apply my awareness, but I wondered if I would be able to apply my awareness as the pressure continued to mount. I knew that I only needed to remain aware, and I would not experience any difficulty.

That night, it was demonstrated to me once more, that if someone was not ready to see passed the illusion of the earth plane, they could not be convinced to see passed the illusion of the earth plane.

God said, "You have no reason to worry."

I reflected that I consciously chose what I experienced now, and I occasionally sought specific guidance. Mostly I allowed events to occur, and if necessary I was provided with guidance.

I was given another message, which I did not seek; 'my old world would end with a whimper.' I reflected that I had expected my old world to end and my new world to begin dramatically.

Certainly, the changeover between my worlds appeared to be coming suddenly and quickly. It was only one week earlier that having completed the preparation for ending my old world, my new world had taken on a reality and was beginning to form around me. A week was not a long period but for me at that time, weeks felt like years, and a year like a lifetime.

I knew that all I could do, was allow my new world unfold around me. I knew that if there was anything that I needed to do, I would be drawn to do it. My old world ended with a whimper, and my new world commenced without my noticing, and at the same time nothing changed. The changeover between my worlds was very fascinating, and very confusing.

 

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The following morning, I had not received any of the news which I was awaiting. I needed to be patient, and I needed to continue to accept the opportunity to apply my awareness. I would maintain my peace by accepting that everything was as everything was meant to be, and allowing everything to be, as everything was.

If events did not occur when I wanted events to occur, it did not matter. If I was not drawn to complete an outstanding task, it did not matter. All that I needed to do, was flow with events, do what I was drawn to do, and be open to any possibility.

If I was drawn to do something in four days time, and if that something did not eventuate in four days time, that something was not meant to happen. Often I had only been drawn to do something, or to investigate something else, as part of the process, which was really all I needed to do.

I realised that I no longer sought guidance about what was going to happen, and I did not seek guidance in respect of each event that I experienced. I only sought guidance, when I was unsure of what to do during an event, as an experience occurred. Mostly when I sought guidance, the guidance confirmed the approach which I was taking.

I also realised that I was, for the most part, operating with all three planes in unison, and when I slipped a little out of phase, all three planes were operating together, through consultation.

 

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It was becoming more apparent each day that my writing, the record of my experiences, was slowing down. I began to feel that my intense journey when I had felt that I was 'catching up' was over. I felt that I would now remain on a steady path, which seemed to coincide nicely with the beginning of my new world.

It had been suggested that events which I had foreseen, had only occurred when I had some control over events. I considered the truth of this statement. There was one event which I had understood would occur prior Christmas, which had not occurred. Even now, four months later, that event had not occurred. It would be many months before I would understand the true nature of the event, and that the event had indeed occurred, when I had been told that the event would occur. That I did not understand what I had been told was convenient, because my lack of understanding, provided an opportunity for God to make a number of points.

God said, "Consider what you have been told. I did not suggest which Christmas, either directly or through others. You assumed last Christmas, which caused you great difficulty, and made you question if everything that had occurred was real. You experienced that you need to listen to precisely what is said. You also experienced whether an event occurs, or does not occur, will not affect what you know to be true.

"Consider all of the times when you correctly understood the timing of events, but placed your own interpretation on how events would occur, experiencing that you cannot place your own interpretation on how events will occur. You cannot rationalise what is to occur, or what is foreseen in any way. The experience of rationalisation has caused you great distress, but now you understand the importance that you do not rationalise what is foreseen.

"Consider the events which you have foreseen that you held no influence over. Sally's marriage and happiness. The sale of Jane's house. The pregnancy of Ellen. The events which are now occurring in Anne's life, and the events within your business.

"Do you not see that the only thing which has been incorrect has been your interpretation, so that you could experience that you cannot interpret."

 

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I was being led from one teacher to the next. I was not reading any details of the teacher's words, most of which had been distorted, but I was identifying each teacher and the teacher's basic message, or more appropriately, the principle behind the teacher's message. I saw that the principle behind the message of each teacher was indeed the same. I could see how each fragment of the truth which was the foundation of their teachings today, contained the whole truth, but the truth had been distorted.

It was Monday morning. I found myself wondering how the week would develop. I had a few ideas of what may happen, but I did not allow my ideas to become the only possibility. I allowed myself to remain open to any and all possibilities. For no apparent reason, I found myself a little apprehensive that morning.

However, nothing happened that morning, and by lunchtime I was extremely tired for no apparent reason. In two days time I needed to travel interstate for the business, and I would be working at home until then. I would not attend the office for the following three days. My partner's conversation whilst I was in the office that morning, gave no indication that anything would alter in respect of the circumstances of my employment. I did not know what to think. I was in danger of becoming frustrated.

I knew that I should do nothing, and the instruction to do nothing was repeated to me several times that day. All that I could do, was to leave everything alone. Shortly after I conceded that I should do nothing, I received two telephone calls from business associates. The first telephone call asked if I was happy with my current employment. The second telephone call confirmed that the problems within the business were deepening. The deepening problems within the business, and the potential employment opportunity created a double-edged sword. I had been placed in a terrific bargaining position in respect of my continued employment, but the developments increased the level of difficultly which I would face when I informed my business partner, that I would again be taking leave.

 

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I started to become concerned about how I had handled events that day.

God said, "You have handled everything correctly."

I had no idea of what to do next, so I decided to sleep for a while, if I could. I slept and I dreamed. I was at the airport again. The planes were delayed. There had been some trouble. This time I was the passenger. There was nothing that I could do, and nobody knew what was happening, so I could not ask anyone for information. Message received.

I continued to be led to the principle of teacher after teacher. I was led to known teachers from thousands of years. The teacher's message was clearly the same, now that I was able to see through the additions to the basic message. The truth is indeed contained everywhere.

I returned to the review my notes. I was continually amazed not just at the number of messages which I had placed within my notes for myself, but that I just happened to be reviewing that part of my notes, precisely when I needed to receive the messages, which I left for myself.

The pressure was again starting to mount. I received a termination notice, requiring me to vacate my home by the day on which I was due to leave for Europe. This gave me a little over two weeks to find somewhere else to live and to move my furniture, if I did need to move home. I saw that the mounting pressure was not a coincidence. I needed to flow with whatever occurred, and I needed to apply what I had learned. If I was meant to move to another home, I would move to another home. If I was not meant to move to another home, I would stay in my current home. Worrying about whether I needed to find another home, would change nothing.

 

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I became ill with some sort of flu. There was very little that I could do about that either. The more that I considered the situation, the more I saw that I was being given an opportunity to apply what I had learned.

My debts continued to mount. I did know that everything was as everything was meant to be, so I followed my instinct. In addition to everything else I developed a headache, which once again blocked my communication with God. I was not in the least bit concerned. Time constraints were going to make all that I needed to do difficult, but everything continued to fall into place despite the latest developments.

I reflected that it was coincidental that my latest problems had arisen, only after I had dispersed my funds. If my latest problems had occurred earlier, my latest problems would have influenced what I had done the previous week. That afternoon I picked up a newspaper, and found a house to rent. The house was not ideally what I would have liked, but the house was less than half the rent that I was currently paying. I took the house on a six month lease.

I knew that I would never have moved on my own. I would have stayed where I was living, until it was time to buy a new home, but moving made a lot of sense. This latest, sudden, and unexpected development demonstrated how everything is arranged, and how easy everything falls into place, when we do not worry.

I spoke with Sally, Anne and my aunt that day. They all had the same message for me, having to move to another home, was a positive development.

 

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As I reflected that day, I saw that I had explored a number of options to resolve my difficulty, before finding a solution. Each time that an option did not work out, I relaxed and allowed the next option to present itself to me, instead of becoming frustrated. Applying my awareness is what had made the difference. I asked God how I had handled the events of that day.

God said, "Everything is as everything is meant to be. You see how everything work out. You accepted the opportunity to apply your awareness, which is all that is important. Have no concern."

The following day I awoke with just enough time to reach the airport to make my flight. It was a quiet flight and everything seemed to go well. I followed my instinct, and I remained at peace. Given my circumstances, I did not want to 'lose' two days interstate.

My time constraints could yet create a problem, and I could see how the pressure could mount, if I allowed the pressure to mount, but I refused to allow the pressure to mount. I knew that I was going interstate for a reason, but I did not know what that reason was. I knew I needed to relax, and allow the day to unfold around me.

I needed to move to another home, so returning to the island would be physically impossible, and I did not know what to make of being drawn back to the island.

It was now two weeks before I needed to leave for Europe. I had enough time to move home, but I saw no easy solution in respect of my employment situation. However, I had two weeks before I needed to leave for Europe, and it seemed as if everything would continue to happen quickly and suddenly.

I did not believe that anything would occur in respect of my employment on that day, which left only one business day before a three day weekend. I was not concerned, I more curious as to how everything would come about.

That morning I had spoken with Rodney, which had solved one of my minor problems. Rodney mentioned that he felt that my business partner wanted to use me like a yoyo, to pull me in when needed and then let me out again. This certainly fitted with what appeared to be happening, but I had received no indication directly from my business partner.

Given that I was to set the example of how we are provided for, and how we create our new environment, I could see how this latest potential development would fit, but I remained open to all possibilities.

 

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I reflected that what I was experiencing was not unusual. I was experiencing exactly how our environment developed piece by piece. My environment had certainly been created piece by piece all my life. The difference was, that I was now aware of what was happening, and as such I saw how the individual pieces were coming together.

The continuing pattern was apparent. Firstly I would become aware in hindsight. Then I would become aware immediately after something occurred. Finally I would become aware as that something was occurring. The process was fascinating, even for me, and I was living the experience.

I considered my current problems. I wondered if I was putting my head in the sand, and hoping that my current problems would go away. However, I followed my instinct. When I was told to do nothing, I did nothing, but when I was told to act, I acted.

I attended my business meeting, which went well. I listened to the proposition, and the solution presented itself as I listened. It was a very easy meeting.

I returned home. I wondered why it had been necessary for me to attend the interstate business meeting, perhaps I was being shown how easy it was for me to do business.

That night, I had a few more difficulties thrown at me. I did not know how everything was going to work out, but I had come this far and I had to trust that all would be well. It seemed that each time everything started to come together, I would be confronted with some more problems, only to overcome the additional problems, and then the circle would turn again.

I was shown one possible solution which would solve most if all of my difficulties, but the potential solution was not forthcoming. All that I could do, was wait for that possible solution, or a similar solution to present itself.

 

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The result which would cause me the most problems was that nothing else would happen, and if nothing else happened, I did not know what I would do. Once again I knew that I needed to deal with this experience at my conscious self level.

Later that night, I was given another experience of attempting to explain specific events to someone with a different perspective from my own. I found my explanation difficult at times, but each time that I was placed in a position to explain something, to someone who was not ready to understand, I did find the experience a little easier. I was experiencing that it is impossible to explain The Truth Of Reality to someone consumed by the earth plane. I was learning to turn questions around and ask 'why not' instead of responding to 'why'.

Each time that I experienced attempting an explanation when somebody was not ready to receive that explanation, I was experiencing that I needed to allow the discussion to flow. Instead of taking a defensive position, I needed to take a positive position, which assisted me to flow with the discussion.

I felt that my perspective was being tested, over and over again. Many of my earth plane difficulties from this lifetime, were thrown at me over and over again. It was an interesting time, it was interesting timing. It was fascinating to see how everything worked.

It was apparent that the concept, that the purpose of life on the earth plane is to gain experience, was very difficult for people to accept. People need to blame someone else for what they experience, unaware that they have chosen to experience, what they have chosen to experience, and that the person they have chosen to share the experience with, is a matter of convenience.

I saw that I had blamed others for my chosen experiences, and that others continued to blame whomever they could for their experiences. Now that I was able to see this reality clearly, the concept that the purpose of life on the earth plane is to gain experience, was fascinating.

 

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I was beginning to understand how negatively the concept of love was viewed by many people. It was apparent that people allegedly did things, such as supporting and helping others out of love, but in reality their actions and their love were motivated by whatever they were seeking in return. People then become negative and hurt when they do not receive whatever they are seeking in return.

People called this love. This is not love. This is feeding insecurities. This is saying 'I will give love and support in return for ….… and I will hate you if I do not get what I seek'. How can people call this love? Love is love. Love is that simple.

I was also being given an opportunity to apply my awareness, that no matter how hard we try, we cannot avoid someone else's hurt regardless of how pure our motive is. If someone has chosen to experience hurt, and fully obtain the benefit of what they are experiencing, we can delay, but cannot alter their chosen experience.

When we love someone, their hurt is very difficult for us to witness, but if we love someone, we must allow them to experience their choice. Realising their experience is the only way that they will release the experience.

Whatever part of me remained attached to the earth plane was telling me that I was being cold, but I knew that if I really cared, if I really loved, I must allow those I cared about to experience hurt.

The same principle applies regardless of which side of the coin we have chosen to experience. We need to respond with pure love without compromising who we are, either to feed our insecurities, or to feed someone else's insecurities.

 

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After we become aware of something, even if we are not aware that we are aware of something, we were given an opportunity to apply our subconscious awareness. I saw how the process of being given an opportunity to apply our awareness, had been repeated in my own lifetime. Each time that I had become aware of something, I would be given an opportunity to apply my new awareness. If I did not apply my new awareness, I would be given the opportunity to apply my new awareness again and again, until I applied my awareness.

I could see that many people felt that they needed to justify their own actions, and that they expected others to justify their actions as well. I was struggling a little. I began to question my actions, and to wonder if I could or should have done some things differently.

God said, "Can you not see that whatever action you took would have led you to this point. This is something which must be experienced. Flow with what occurs. Allow events to be what events are. Circumstances could be no other way. Can you not see this? Even now you see that whatever the scenario, the experience would be the same. The scenario, whatever it was, would be used in exactly the same way."

I remained confused, I had much to think about.

I was beginning to understand that even though someone we care about is hurting, we should be happy for them, because they are experiencing what they need to experience. The more that we experience, the closer we are to returning to the higher plane.

Despite my difficulties and time constraints, despite being accused of being 'screwed in the head', and all manner of things, I felt nothing but pure love.

Despite feeling nothing but pure love, I continued to wonder if I should have done some things differently.

God said, "Everything is, and has been as everything was meant to be."

 

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The following morning God said, "Remember, that each creates their own environment. You have created your own environment, and those around you have created their own environment. That you share this environment is a matter of convenience, no more. You have created this opportunity to apply your awareness. You have experienced the difficulty for those with an earth plane perspective, to understand your new higher plane perspective. You have experienced reality in a controlled and concentrated environment.

"It was not that long ago that your own perspective was an earth plane perspective, but you now have difficulty understanding the application of the earth plane perspective. As you know, everything is as everything should be, and you do see the situation clearly. Have no concern in this regard.

"As for using and manipulating people and events, you are doing neither. From the perspective of the earth plane you have, if you recall, avoided seeking the help which you needed to avoid what you saw as using people, until I showed you otherwise. You have also experienced that you are unable to manipulate circumstances, to be as you desire circumstances to be. You can only create your new environment. You are unable to manipulate more money to maintain your current expenses, but you created an environment which reduced your current expenses, and effectively produced the same result.

"You have understood that you will experience how your awareness is applied in the everyday world. You have experienced how you will create the environment which you need to support yourself. Creating the environment which you need to support yourself, is not always done through more money. Creating the environment which you need to support yourself, is sometimes done through less costs.

 

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"Remember, you have chosen to be the example, and you will continue to be the example, until the example is completed, and then you will be provided with the resources to undertake my work at a higher level.

"What you understand about your situation and the mounting level of pressure is correct. Your current environment has been created to provide you with an opportunity to apply your awareness, and to this end there will be more developments. You will now experience that all will be well, even if you are unable to see the clear solution to your remaining difficulties at this stage.

"You are aware of the difficulties. You are not pretending that the difficulties do not exist, but you also know that all will be well. In the following week all will become clear, and you will have no more concern for the future. You do not know exactly how all will become clear, because you still need to experience what is to come. Much of what you experience, you will experience at a conscious level.

"You are correct that your old environment lasted just long enough for the concentrated experience necessary for you to be the example to occur, and that you are now slowing down, as you call it. This in itself is part of the example to show that circumstances are necessary for all if they are experiencing the circumstances, even if they do not think that their circumstances are what they want to be experiencing.

"You are creating 'heaven on earth', and you are creating 'heaven on earth' within an average environment, as you will soon experience. It is through your example that those who choose to follow will understand what they must do. It was necessary for you to believe that creating 'heaven on earth' was a part of your teaching environment, because you needed to experience the creation of 'heaven on earth' fully. You could not experience the creation of 'heaven on earth' fully, if you knew exactly what would occur. Not for the first time you were allowed to believe something to keep you on your current path.

 

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"Have no concern. The mounting pressure will be relieved by means from the earth plane, the mounting pressure will be relieved by means that you will understand, and the mounting pressure will be relieved by means that all will understand, and see clearly as part of the example.

"You know that it is necessary for those around you, to experience what they are experiencing, for their own development in respect of who they are, by learning who they are not. It is necessary for you to share in the experience of those around you, so that you can experience applying who you are."

I contemplated what the day would bring. I really had no idea what would happen that day, if anything. I knew that I was running short on time, and I knew that everything would work out. I was not expecting anything to happen that day, but I was expecting anything to happen that day. Whether anything did happen, or anything did not happen, it would be for the best. Evelyn was with me once again, and Evelyn's crystals were flashing in the light.

The day proceeded smoothly, much that I needed to do came easy. The problems within the business were even deeper than I expected, but there was still no news to address my problems in respect of my ongoing, or alternate employment.

During the weekend, I was suddenly aware of an alternative solution which could explain the timing of events perfectly. I did not know if the alternative solution was to demonstrate that there were options, so I decided to wait and see how I felt when I returned to work in three days time.

 

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Each day I was able to understand a little more in respect of the concept that everything is foreseen. That everything is foreseen is not a matter of seeing something which will occur and being forewarned. That everything is foreseen is not a matter of saying; 'you must do this or that' and then filing what is foreseen away. If whatever is going to occur is foreseen, whatever is going to occur is going to happen anyway. Therefore, there was nothing to be done. One danger we have is attempting to do something to assist what will occur, which is why many things which will occur need to be withheld, such as my moving house.

That something is foreseen is not something which needs to be done, that something is foreseen, is something which will occur. Our ability to foresee what will occur is a positive tool to assist us to eliminate our concern, but it is easy to use our ability to foresee to create more concerns.

The following day was quiet, and uneventful. I had a good look at the house which I was committed to lease, and the house was certainly not to my liking. I felt a little down that day, and was not quite sure why. I had a vague feeling that I would not make that house, my home. Although I was prepared to concede that my 'vague feeling' may well be wishful thinking.

There were so many minor difficulties surrounding me at this point, that I was being taken to the edge once more. I felt that I had once again created some sort of test for myself. All that I could do, was relax and know that everything was exactly as everything was meant to be.

As had been the situation for several weeks, my conscious self was mostly on its own. I was certainly meant to experience whatever was happening.

 

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I found myself asking; 'what am I going to do', but I did not know why I repeatedly asked the question, or what I meant in asking the question. I knew that I would do whatever I was led to do. I knew that everything which occurred was as everything was meant to be, and I knew that I had created my environment.

I was fairly certain that what was occurring was absolutely necessary in respect of the example. There seemed to be too many unanswered questions, and I knew that all I could do, was relax and allow the answers to present themselves to me.

Not for the first time, I wanted my journey to be over. I wanted to be with Katerina, and I wanted to be able to do the work which I was destined to do. It was a period where the circumstances of my life seemed to take three steps forward, and two back, which meant I was making progress, albeit slow progress on occasion.

As I reflected on my circumstances later that day, I felt lost. I reflected on the question; 'what am I going to do?'. The other questions which I had been asking myself were; 'what is going on', and 'I do not understand'. I realised that all of these questions were being asked by my subconscious. I needed to find the answers to my questions.

I had much to do, but I decided to sit still for a few hours and meditate. There was definitely something that I needed to know, some point which I was missing.

 

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The following morning, I was close to bringing the answers to the surface but I could not quite reach my answers. Everything was as everything was meant to be, and everything was in my best interest.

I suspected that I needed to focus on more spiritual issues to find the answer which I was seeking. I was not frustrated, I was remained at peace and maybe this was the point. Maybe I was simply experiencing retaining my peace, whilst I was experiencing earth plane difficulties.

A new question kept being raised that morning in particular. The question been raised previously, and I had not considered the question to be of any significance. The question was; 'how do you feel'? Despite being tired, despite having the flu and despite moving house, and all the problems which were surfacing, I felt fine. I was relaxed, although not totally relaxed. I was at peace and I was confident about the future. I had however lost a little confidence in myself.

 

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God said, "Your difficulty is that you know that it is possible to know all and to ascend. You know that the sum of your experiences should allow you to ascend and you struggle with why you do not ascend. At the same time, you know that you will not ascend. You know that you have to travel each step, even whilst on the summit. Your path continues, and you must travel that path. You have chosen your path, and so I have chosen you as the example, it is that simple."

 

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