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Searching for My Soul
Book Two Seeking the Knowledge Within

Changing Perspective

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I had reached the point where I needed to learn to accept reality. I found this to be an interesting development, because I had not realized that although I had accepted much of reality, I had only accepted reality from the perspective of the earth plane.

I had needed to accept reality from the earth plane perspective, but whilst I retained only an earth plane perspective, I had not really accepted reality. I had no concept at this time that after finally changing my perspective, it would be necessary for me to revisit the earth plane perspective.

I recalled that I had accepted the concept of a permanent bridge to my soul long before I had found the permanent bridge to my soul. I had then stumbled across the entrance to the permanent bridge to my soul. It had only been after I had found the bridge to my soul, and explored the bridge to my soul that I had understood the true nature of the bridge to our souls, and in so doing, really accepted the existence of the bridge to our souls. I knew that the point which I had now reached was similar, but I did not understand why.

The pattern of awareness continued. I would reach a point on my journey by myself, and God would then provide guidance.

"There is much that you do not understand. You will obtain understanding through depth."

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One thing which did surprise me, was that I occasionally dreamed of Marie. The dreams, which I had experienced for several months, were both different and the same. We were always together and not quite together, at the same time. I knew that I was being told something, but I was not sure what I was being told. I felt that the message that I was attempting to give myself was something to do with our souls being bonded.

I continued to reflect. I could see that there were many old 'habits' which I effectively maintained, despite the fact that I knew better. I had obviously not really learned.

I was beginning to understand that my next step had something to do with my acceptance of reality from beyond the perspective of the earth plane. I knew that it was time to take the next step, and release myself from the perspective of the earth plane. I would continue to increase the depth of my knowledge, through changing my perspective.

It seemed that the next logical step was to learn from the perspective of the spirit plane, but I was unsure if my assessment was correct. I could only flow with events and allow my perspective to change.

I understood why I had spoken with some people about some aspects of my experiences. What I was learning sometimes became clearer when I spoke about my experiences.

I realized that I was not really seeking approval to the extent that I had believed that I was seeking approval. I was using my discussions with others as a means to assist my learning process. I needed to accept that the choice of whomever I spoke with, was being determined with God's guidance. I knew that, for the most part, those whom I spoke with gained something from my words, and they often gave me a message in return. Mutually beneficial contact, which I knew was the nature of contact on the earth plane.

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I knew that the timing of many aspects of my journey was important. I knew that much of what was occurring had to tie in with external factors, which I had believed were driven by the 'external factors'. It was now becoming apparent that the exact opposite was the key to the timing. The external factors had to tie in with my development.

I was not surprised when my perspective was tested almost immediately. I did see exactly what had happened immediately after the experience, but I did not see that my perspective was being tested during the experience, which in itself was a part of the pattern of my increasing awareness. Whenever I learned something, I would see firstly the principles of what I had learned after a demonstration. The next step was that I would begin to see the principles of what I had learned during the demonstration. Eventually, I would see the principles of what I had learned before the demonstration. Seeing the principles of what I had learned before the demonstration, would signify, that I had learned.

I was surprised and I was caught totally off guard by what occurred next. I was consumed totally by the perspective of the earth plane. Suddenly all my problems from the earth plane were upon me, and I felt totally alone. I recalled a comment which Rodney had made earlier that day about me 'hearing voices'. My remaining fears overtook me, and I could not see passed the earth plane. I did not quite know what had happened, and I did not know where to turn so I faced this development alone, and I felt totally alone.

It had been a long time since I had felt as totally alone as I felt that night. However, I knew that I needed to face what was consuming me, I knew that I needed to defeat what was consuming me, and I knew that I need to fight this battle for my perspective, alone. To win the battle for my perspective, I needed to see through the earth plane perspective.

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After a time, I did recognize exactly what was occurring. I had experienced the principles often. I would be told of a difficult process which I would need to endure, and then the issue, whatever it was at the time, would be thrown at me. I had drawn on my experience, and I had been prepared to deal with the battle for my perspective, but I did not deal with the battle for my perspective. Nor did I know how long the earth plane perspective would continue to consume me, or what I would need to endure. I knew that I would endure, I had no choice.

There was another thing which I had not been able to understand, and which I still did not understand. For many years I had frequently heard knocking on a door just before I had gone to sleep. At times, the knocking had become so loud that I had been woken after I had gone to sleep. I had never told anyone about the knocking, but the knocking had occurred frequently. In fact I had heard the knocking most nights for as long as I could remember. I had not given the knocking any thought for a long time, but now I felt that the knocking meant something. I did not know what.

The battle with my perspective continued for hours. It was no coincidence that I would not be attending the office the following day. Perhaps, I should have known that I would have some difficulty to endure when I knew that I would not be attending the office.

I thought that I could finally sleep, but I crossed to the spirit plane instead. I had two strong soul contacts, firstly with Rose and then with Rodney. I tried to fight the soul contacts, but I was continually being dragged back into the soul contact. Afterwards, I lost hope of sleeping, for a while anyway.

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I knew that neither Rose nor Rodney would be aware of our soul contact, which did not mean that our soul contact was not real. I did know that there were a significant number of others who were aware of the spirit plane, and soul contact. All that I knew was that if I had told Rodney about our soul contact, I would have confirmed to Rodney that I had indeed lost my mind.

The issues which required addressing from the earth plane perspective, I left in the hands of God, which was the most sensible thing that I had done all day.

As I reflected in the early hours of the morning, I could see clearly that I, myself had created much of what had been used to show me the perspective of the planes. I saw how my lunch with Rodney had been a continuation of the environment which I had created to allow the perspective of the earth plane to consume me, and that I had even utilized the spirit plane to the same effect.

God said, "The perspective which you must now learn, is the perspective which you have continued not to learn. The perspective must be learned now, and you know why the perspective must be learned now."

Everything which had happened since my journey began had been a logical albeit unexpected progression from the previous step which I had taken. Each progression had followed on too neatly, too unexpectedly, and in hindsight too logically from the previous phase to be a delusion within my mind.

I considered the way in which my journey was progressing, and the way it seemed that everything would develop.

God said, "All teachers must reflect the times in which they teach."

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Something else was starting to occur. I was beginning to receive brief flashes of the creation of the Earth.

I found myself riding to Earth on a lightening bolt, during the creation.

I then blocked the visions and I saw no more. I knew that I had blocked the vision through fear, but I had no idea what I feared.

I remembered a time long ago.

I wore sandals and a robe. I stood on a road looking down at a woman who had thrown herself at my feet. I reached down, took the woman's hand and helped her to her feet.

Up to that point I had not felt any emotions during my brief recollections of my pre-Native American lifetimes. However, I had experienced the emotions during recollections of my post- Native American lifetimes.

I knew that I would discover the key to the particular step which I now needed to take. I recognized the pattern. All that I could do, was relax and allow myself to discover the key to my next step. I continued to reflect and I continued to meditate.

My doubts, which had been caused by my being consumed by the earth plane perspective remained. The experience had drained all of my energy. I felt that I had nothing left. I spoke with Rose. I needed to talk about what I was currently experiencing.

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After a time, Rose commented that I sounded much better. Rose was correct, my energy levels had been renewed, but the problem was that I had totally drained Rose. In many ways, this simple power exchange had helped me more than the sum of the power that I had drained from Rose. It was the fact that even over the telephone, I was able to draw power from Rose, that really helped me. Rose told me that everything was all right, and that I needed to hang in there. One of Rose's spirit guides confirmed Rose's advice.

It was neither the power transfer, nor the spirit guide which had made the difference. It was the fact that the experiences had happened which made the difference. I realized later that the real reason why I had felt alone was that my soul had been 'away' again.

It helped that I had told Rose a week earlier about the patterns, where I was in my current cycle, and the solitude which I had anticipated would follow. This meant that Rose was not surprised that I was enduring the difficult phase of what I saw as my learning cycle. Once again, telling someone what was going to happen had made an experience easier to endure when the experience did happen.

I knew from experience that all I could do was relax and await the return of my soul, which would also bring the answers that I was seeking. In future, it would be easier if I recognized when my soul was 'away' before I felt totally alone, instead of after I had experienced being totally alone.

I was slowly starting to understand some of the 'perspective' issues which I needed to change.

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The perspective of the earth plane is judgmental, so we have viewed the perspective of God as judgmental. God is love and love is not judgmental. God forgives his children their sins. God understands that it is only through failure to learn that we continue to sin. God is not judgmental. That only those who have found the perspective of love, can become one with God is fact, not a judgement. The perspective that we must adopt all of the time is pure love. We must view the world with pure love, and the compassion and understanding that comes with pure love. It is the judgmental perspective that we must change. Not only the perspective of judging others, but also the perspective of being concerned about the judgement of others.

I continued to relax, and I continued to allow myself to free the knowledge trapped within me.

There are no rules. There are laws to manage society, but these laws would be unnecessary if we all lived with our souls. There is no right process, and for each soul the process is different. There is only pure love. We must all learn to view the world from the perspective of pure love if we are to ascend to the higher plane. We must first become pure love, it is then that we form part of the higher plane.

All else fades into nothing, as all is overpowered by pure love. Pure love is all that matters. The perspective which we must learn, is the perspective of pure love.

When we attain pure love, we no longer see the illusion. Regardless of whether we see illusions as illusion or as reality, pure love surpasses illusions and illusions are no longer seen as anything, because illusions are unimportant. Only pure love is important.

Our reason for being, the purpose of our existence, is to become pure love and one with God. Our bodies are unimportant, it is our souls which become pure love. Our souls exceed our bodies, and our bodies can no longer contain our souls. To allow pure love to radiate from us is not enough. We must become that love, we must radiate from within our bodies, and we will then start to become one with God.

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The problem which I had was that all that I had gained was vague. I knew that all I had gained was only on the surface. It was not what I had gained that was vague, it was me who was vague. A vagueness caused by acquiring knowledge that I did not fully understand. My soul was still gathering information, and I still felt alone, but I could feel my soul slowly returning.

I saw Rose for a while. Rose raised a few issues, which once again allowed me to give myself some answers whilst I was answering somebody else, which was the real reason why Rose had asked the questions.

As I had experienced with all of my new awareness, it was not the new perspective that I needed to embrace which was causing my difficulties. It was letting go of my old perspective that was difficult. I needed to release my old perspective because I could not fully embrace my new perspective, until I had released my old perspective completely.

I continued to relax and I continued to reflect whilst I was waiting for my soul to fully return. I recalled that I had attempted to discontinue my journey on three occasions, and that I had not been able to discontinue my journey. I knew this was a journey which I was destined to complete. At this point, I did not attempt to stop my journey, nor did I attempt to embrace my old world. These were two lessons which I had learned.

I spent my time relaxing, tying up a few remaining loose ends and patiently waiting for my soul to return with whatever awareness had been acquired whilst my soul was 'away'.

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Once more, I wished that there would be a point where my journey would end and I would allow myself to ascend, because I knew that it was possible to allow ourselves to ascend. I also knew that allowing myself to ascend was not to be, not for me. I needed to take the long road. I understood that I needed to follow the long road, and I understood why I needed to follow the long road, or I believed that I understood why I needed to follow the long road, but I would be less than honest if I did not admit that I sometimes saw my destiny as a curse.

In one respect my destiny was a curse, my destiny was repayment for something that I had done, but at this point I felt no closer to knowing what it was that I had done. I suspected that 'what I had done' would not be revealed until I neared the end of my journey. This proved to be another assumption which was incorrect.

I was attended to some personal business. I was drawn to a Tarot reader, which I found interesting, because I had not been drawn to have a Tarot reading for some time. I knew that I did not need to use temporary bridges any more, but I would learn that temporary bridges continued to be useful whenever I was blocking information.

Everything was contained within that Tarot reading. A change in career, success and a lady from overseas fitting my soul mate's description. Now was the time to act on these things, and I had acted. The Tarot reading was a more detailed repetition of the outcome of every Tarot reading that I'd had during the previous year, but without the difficulties first. I had been given confirmation.

It was a simple matter of patiently waiting a few more weeks. Except that it did not turn out to be so simple, or so few a number of weeks as I had suspected, or I had hoped.

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The quiet period of my learning cycle had begun. My soul had quietly returned without delivering any more information. I was able to spend time with Rodney, Rose, Nancy, Joe and Anne. I was going to Melbourne to see Sally and a few days later I would attend Sally's wedding, which I had foreseen several months earlier.

I was able to talk with Jane and many others, some of whom I had not heard from for years. People were back in my life. I relaxed, read books and watched videos. It was a quiet time, a time of waiting. I knew that I had done all that I had been meant to do, for the moment, and that I was being given a time to rest. This time I did not fight the period of rest. I accepted the period of rest, and I enjoyed my time to rest.

I did not question my sanity, and I did not become impatient. I knew that I needed to relax and allow whatever was going to happen, to happen.

The business still had its problems. I was working through the problems within the business by instinct, and I was not consumed by the problems within the business. A former employer was 'putting out feelers' to see if I was interested in returning to work for them, and I listened. I saw no reason to close any doors at that stage, but I did not embrace the possibility of returning to my previous employer, or remaining within my old world in any way.

I understood that I had heeded Sitting Crow's warning of many months previously. I had gone 'searching for food', but I had not left my family unprotected.

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One thing which I could not understand was why I was hearing from people whom I had not been in contact with for years, but I also knew that why did not matter.

My life continued, I was relaxed and resting. I had a feeling that there would soon come a time when events would overtake me, and I would need all of my strength. I was right.

I continued to recall flashes of very old memories. I again recalled the time when I had worn a robe and sandals.

I took the woman's right hand in my right hand, and I had put my left arm around her as I helped her to her feet.

I knew there was something significant in this event, but I did not know what. I thought that there may be a key to my identity locked within this memory, but if there was, I could not find the key to my identity.

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God exists within us all. God is love. We must look within all people, we must first see God within all people, and we must see love within all people. This is the key to changing our perspective. For us to have love for all people, we must see the love within all people. We must look beneath the surface of ourselves and see the love within ourselves. It is through seeing the love within all people, that we are able to feel love for all people. We must see the love and we must view all from the perspective of love. We will achieve the perspective of love, when we see through the illusions and look towards the love. It is the only way.

What we term a sin is both correct and incorrect. There is only one thing that we need to remember, all that we do must be done through love. We must place no importance on anything that is greater than love. We must see the love within all, we must act only through love, and we must place love above all else.

God is love, and it is the love which is the essence of God that binds all souls, that binds all truth, that binds the universe, together. We must see the truth of love, we must live the truth of love, and we must embrace the truth of love. All else in existence is insignificant, compared with the love which is God.

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I would have liked to say that my earth plane problems were over, but my earth plane problems were not over. I endured various physical ailments from time to time. I still had nights when I could not sleep. My perspective was changing daily, but I knew that I had a long way to go. What I did not understand at this point was that many of the issues which I saw as problems, and as negatives, would prove to be positives.

One night when I could not sleep, I experienced images flashing in and out of my mind. Memories? Awareness? I did not know. They were strange and varied images from another time, long ago, mixed with present day images.

I was to come to understand that these 'mixed' memories were based upon shared lifetimes with the same soul or souls, but at the time I did not know either what was occurring, or why.

I was reminded that I was still anchored to the earth plane, and that I had to remain anchored to the earth plane.

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